Finding Jordie: Things aren't always what they seem. (The Love Lies Bleeding Series Book 1) (41 page)

“Not really. I’m not a skinny blond skank,” I muttered rudely, looking at my huge belly.

“What? Oh, I’ve been trying to find myself,” he admitted. I was pretty sure he was embarrassed, too.

“Looks like you’re finding a lot more than yourself.”

“What do you mean?” He looked so clueless—I had never wanted to punch someone in the face and make love to them at the same time like I did at that moment.

“What do I mean? What. Do. I. Mean?” I asked, slow and belligerent. “According to
US Weekly, OK, In Touch, Entertainment Tonight, TMZ
...”

“Okay, tabloids, I get that part, according to the tabloids, go on.” He pacified me with a grin that made my heart slam into my throat.

“Yes, according to every rag mag out there, you are quite the ladies’ man. I’m surprised you have the strength to stand here before me with all the sex you’ve been having over the past few months.”

“All the sex?” he repeated with his eyebrows crinkled in amusement, which broke my scowl into a small smile.

Focus, Jordan.

“Yes, all the sex, the sexcapades, the sexual Olympics, the sex-a-thon, whatever you want to call it.”

“I’m not sure why exactly we’re discussing this, but all right. Oddly enough, I feel like I
should
be discussing it with you. So here goes. I honestly can’t remember the last time I had sex,” he admitted sheepishly.

“What? No fucking way. I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true. I... I had nothing in common with them. I—”

“Hey, Nate, buddy, my man, whatcha doin’ here?” Tyler shouted from the sidewalk as he made his way to where we stood. He put his hands on Nathan’s shoulders and guided him down the steps. “Let’s go get a beer.”

“Yeah, sure... I... All right, yeah,” Nathan replied. His eyes never left mine.

Tyler was all wide-eyed and mouthed the word, “Sorry.”

“What the fuck?” I mouthed back, astonished, with my arms opened in a questioning gesture.

He motioned with his hand a phone call so I assumed Rachel would be calling me at some point.

I stood there alone again, shocked.
Did that just happen? Does he remember... No. Stop it. He doesn’t.

I couldn’t go to the bar, so my only other option was to go upstairs and cry myself to sleep again. I tossed my keys on the table and shut off the lights. I checked on a sleeping Emma and headed to my room. I remembered what she’d said earlier about my crying myself to sleep and playing that stupid song over and over, so I decided no music that night. Seeing Nathan for the first time in six months was enough emotional drainage for one day.

Rachel called, and I told her everything that had happened outside. I knew Tyler would have told her about what he’d seen so I filled her in on the rest.

“Well, Tyler told me last week that Nathan has been humming parts of a song the past like, month and a half. I heard him humming it. I think it’s ‘Stranded,’ Jords.” She sounded so hopeful and peppy.

“Doubtful,” I muttered. “I’m off to bed. Talk to ya in the morning.”

“Jordan.”

“I’m fine, just tired, and I need to work on the nursery tomorrow so I need some sleep. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I hung up and put my phone on my nightstand. I resisted the urge to turn my heart’s anthem on as I drifted to sleep.

I don’t know what it was exactly, but something woke me from a sound sleep. I made my way down to Emma’s room. She was still asleep.

What is that?
I heard very faint music playing and when I realized what song it was a small pathetic laugh escaped my lips. I dragged my feet back upstairs. I had finally come to terms with how much I loved and missed Nathan. I sat on the top step with my face in my hands and began to bawl.

“Hearing the song in your head now?” I sniveled to myself. “Wait a second, what
is
that?” I stood up and looked around, concentrating on what I thought I heard.

Wonderful, now you’re talking to yourself.

I walked into my bedroom and heard the music louder and in a close proximity. “What the—” I opened my window and listened hard.

Where is that coming from?
I glanced at my clock.
And at three thirty-seven A.M.? Is that coming from the roof?
I was crazy, it was the only explanation. I’d finally cracked. Someone needed to wrap me up in the fun jacket and take me away. It was three-thirty in the morning and I was hearing love songs from my rooftop in the freezing cold. Seriously, what the hell?

I closed my window and grabbed my sweater off the chair. I made my way downstairs, grabbed my keys off the table, and headed up to the rooftop. Aside from the fact that I hadn’t been up there in months and I was the size of a house these days, the fire escape didn’t really work for me anymore.

As I climbed the steps the muffled music became clearer and louder. There was actually music playing up here and it
was
“Stranded” by Plumb.

Praise the Lord, I’m not bat-shit crazy
. I opened the door and I froze.
Nope, wrong, you are crazy.

I saw Nathan towards the front of the building looking over the wall. All the lights were on and music was coming from somewhere.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I whispered. Was he just going to torment me until I was completely insane? I was actually kind of pissed. “Hey, breaking and entering is a felony. I don’t give a shit if you are Nate Harper,” I shouted, the anger clear in my tone.

“What if I’m Nathan Miles Harper... Jordan?”

He said my name. I think. I can’t be sure.
Nothing functioned properly in my brain or body at that moment.
Breathe,
I reminded myself as I gasped for air in one big gulp. “What did you say?”

“What if I’m Nathan Miles Harper, supposed to be husband of Jordan Marie Spagnato, and the father of her amazing children?”

“I... I don’t know what I’d say to that except that I hope someone wakes me up before I forget to breathe again,” I answered him just above a whisper as I fought the wave of emotion that was about to crash over me.

He smiled my smile as he walked towards me.

I extended my arms out in front of me to try and stop him from coming any closer. He ignored my gesture and slipped his arm around my waist from the side and pulled me as close as my pregnant belly would allow.

“You’re awake, gorgeous. I’m the one that’s been asleep. I am so... I swear, Jordie, I... I...” He put his forehead against mine. “This, this is what I was missing. This is what I have been searching for. I just couldn’t remember. You—this—
us.
”

He reached out and placed his hand on my belly. That was all it took. I exploded in tears and sobbed, smiling as if I had completely lost my mind.

“Quit smiling like that. You look like a nut job,” he teased. “My subconscious knew, though. For the past month I’ve come to this street every night, right over there, humming that song.” He nodded out to towards the street. “I’d sit on that bench in a hoodie next to my bike for hours. I sat there just trying to fit the pieces together.”

“All those women, Nathan...” I breathed out.

“I told you I never slept with any of them. I was just so desperate to figure out what I was missing. I was searching everywhere. Then one night I overheard my mom ask Tyler if he would mind picking up Emma’s and the baby’s Christmas presents at the store, and just to bring them over to the bar so Rachel could wrap them up for her. She also asked him to find out what size boots mamma was,” he explained with a concentrated look on his face. He told the story with reverence and such passion that I couldn’t be angry with him.

“Then something inside just clicked, I knew whatever it was I was missing was
here.
Not with any of the others. I was beginning to think I would be broken for the rest of my life. Tonight when I was at the bar with Tyler that squirrely best friend of yours put on this horrific boy band song and started to dance on the bar like a lunatic.” He laughed. “Then she started yelling at me like a lunatic. Poor Tyler, she really let him have it, too. So I walked out. I couldn’t comprehend everything she had just told me, about you and me, Emma and the baby. I was so confused. As soon as my feet hit the curb though, I started seeing flashes of... it all. Everything came back to me at once. I wasn’t going to wake you guys up at three in the morning. Even though I did consider it, trust me. Instead I ran back in and asked Rachel to let me in so I could get to the rooftop and wait for you here.”

“Lucky I heard you. I don’t come up here anymore.” I yawned.

“How come?”

“Obviously I don’t smoke anymore so what’s the point? Besides, it’s too much of a pain in the everywhere to climb up and down the past few months.”

“That’s crazy. You love it up here.” His arms were still wrapped around me tight with our foreheads touching.

“It was just too painful, Nathan. All I’d see was you. So much has happened between us up here.” I gave a small smile. “And then you were gone.”

“Never again will I leave you, unless you have another crazy dead husband waiting in the wings somewhere ready to attack?” He was playfully sarcastic.

“Oh my god, you did not just say that!” I laughed and the smile remained on my face when I finished.
Wow, that hasn’t happened in a long time.

“I love you so much, Jordan.” He leaned down and kissed me.

My head was spinning. Was this real? I hoped so.

“Whoa! What the—” Nathan jumped back with a nervous laugh, looking a bit in awe.

I laughed and took his hand and placed it on my belly.

“Nathan Junior, this is your daddy. Nathan, meet your son and future soccer player or river dancer, I can’t figure out which it is yet.” I smiled up at him, and he was just amazing.

“That was
him
?
He
did all that?” He stood there with his mouth open in shock.

“Yup, he’s a kicker.”

“Holy shit, I can’t imagine how that feels on your end.” He rubbed my belly now on his own accord.

“It feels great.” I shrugged. “This little guy has helped me through a lot these past few months. Haven’t you?” I looked down and gave my belly a tiny jiggle. He responded by kicking me again right under Nathan’s hand.

“
Wow
.”

“I love you, too.” My eyes found those blue eyes of his. “We’ve missed you so much, Nathan.”

“Me too, Jordan. I love you, baby.” He kissed me.

And we kissed... and kissed... and kissed...

“You’re welcome, Heifer!” Rachel yelled from down in the front of the building. We heard her and Tyler laughing as we peeked over the wall. They were already getting in the cab.

“Hollerrr!” I screamed down to her.

“Hollerrr.” She smiled back at me and closed the door.

I turned to Nathan and he leaned in to kiss me again.

I pulled back and yawned. “I’m sorry. I’m exhausted.” I covered my mouth.

“Let’s get you back to bed.” He turned off the lights and led me to the stairs.

“Do you want to stay with me?” I yawned again, hopeful he would say yes.

“Baby, I’m home. I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” He kissed my forehead.

KIM JOHNSON, NICOLE CORRADO QUEZADA
thank you for making it through the first draft. I know how painful that must have been. Not fire nipple painful, but a close second. Love you guys. I couldn’t have done this without you. Speaking of drafts,

Jennifer Reinhold, I could never thank you enough for making it through all 457 drafts and for all the input you’ve given me. You should be able to recite this bad boy by now. You’re the best. <3

Dawn Fant Poch and Chanee’ Terro, thank you both for everything, you have no idea how much I value your opinions.

Aunt Ree thank you for all your support and encouragement, it means everything to me. I hope this makes my mom and everyone else up at the casino in the sky proud.

Asia Werner our friendship has inspired one of the coolest best friends Jordie could ever ask for, thank you for being you.