Finding Justus (9 page)

“Here, this way,” Miguel said, taking her by the hand. They walked down to the water until they were in about calf deep.

“We’re watching the sunset, that’s my surprise.”

“You’re worse than a small child, no patience! No, there will be more, hopefully.”

Justus smiled and shook her head, and wondered what Miguel was hoping for. Then she saw it.

“Oh, look at that! Dolphins!”

“Surprised? This was what I wanted to show you.”

“Are you serious? They’re my favorite animal.” She was quiet and reflective for a while then she said, “They are the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever seen.”

At that moment the same description could be said about Justus. Her hair was shining, and the setting sun was revealing hints of red and golden highlights in her hair. The same golden glow bathed her skin, and it seemed she was radiating from some unseen light within. She turned to Miguel with a grin. Her smile was dazzling and almost childlike in delight.

“This is so amazing,” Justus said as she splashed water in front of her and whistled to the dolphins. “I want to pet one. They look so sweet.”

As if on cue, a pair of dolphins leaped out of the ocean and landed with a graceful splash. Justus laughed so hard she nearly lost her balance, luckily a pair of strong arms reached out to steady her. As she looked up into his eyes, all laughter and humor left immediately, and was replaced by passion. Miguel brought his hand up to caress her jaw, and she leaned into his embrace.

Her face was inches from Miguel’s. She looked into his eyes again. “I’m glad you brought me here,” she said huskily.

“Me too,” was all Miguel said before he leaned down to kiss her softly on the mouth. The dolphins splashed once more and it broke them apart. Miguel laughed, “I guess they want our attention.”

They clasped hands and walked together down the beach, and began heading back toward the ship. It was just after sunset, but not yet dark.

“I’ve never seen a more beautiful sunset. Pink, gold, purple, orange, turquoise, I never knew the sky could take on all those colors. Of course, the dolphins were amazing, too. They were like nothing I’ve ever seen before. This day will be something I will never forget.”

As soon as the words left Justus’ mouth she regretted them. She realized there was another reason she wouldn’t be able to forget this day; because of him. Miguel had made this happen, somehow. He had created magic with the dolphins, the practically d
eserted beach, and the sunset. It was too special, too perfect for her to forget it. That frightened her.

***

“So, how did it go last night?” Krystal asked. “I mean you got in
so late
, I didn’t get the chance to ask you.”

Justus had arrived at their cabin
after midnight, but it wasn’t because she had been out having fun with Miguel. Their date actually ended early. The truth was she had been walking around the ship aimlessly for hours after their date. She couldn’t get it through her thick skull that this-whatever it was-with Miguel was temporary and only served her one purpose: to have fun.

Justus was finding however, that the more time she spent with Miguel, the harder it became for her to accept that. It was starting to go deeper for her. She was thinking crazy things. Lately, she had been wondering what sex with Miguel would be like. She knew it wasn’t crazy for her to want to have sex with someone she felt attracted to, but at this time in her life, when she was most vulnerable, she wondered if it would be a mistake.

Still, she couldn’t keep her imagination from wondering in that direction. Justus had been thinking about it since the night of their first date. That was the reason she had told Krystal how awful sex with Alex had been, it hadn’t been the alcohol talking that night, but her wild curiosity. Justus believed sex would be an entirely different experience with Miguel. For some reason, she felt he would be a satisfying and giving lover. Krystal’s sigh and look of expectancy brought Justus back into the present.

“I had a great time. We went to the beach last night. It was small and somewhat private. We watched the sunset, and it was beautiful.”

“Oh, that was the surprise,” Krystal said sounding a little disappointed.

Justus shook her head and smiled at the memory of the dolphins, she filled Krystal in on the details.

“That’s really different, and sweet. Not many people can say they have gotten a surprise like that on their second date. So, then what happened?”

“We had to be on the ship by eight, so we walked and talked on the beach for as long as possible, and then got back on the ship.” Justus stopped her story there as if i
t needed no further explanation, but Krystal was as persistent as usual.

“And? Then what? Or am I supposed to assume that since you’ve suddenly clammed up I’m to draw my own conclusions as to what happened next?”

“Like you haven’t already.”

“Dodging my questions, coming in late, if you weren’t so surly I’d say you had taken my advice and went back to Miguel’s room.” Justus blushed immediately, but otherwise remained impassive. The two women stared at each other, a Mexican standoff.

“I can see I’m going to get nowhere fast with this subject. I’ll let it go, for now. Eventually, you’ll tell me what happened,” she said breezily. “I only hope you aren’t mad at him again.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. Things couldn’t have gone better last night actually.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s not that there’s a problem, exactly. I want to sleep with him,” Justus blurted out.

“Obviously, I mean what woman wouldn’t? I don’t get it, why does that give you pause?”

“I don’t understand any of this myself. It’s not like a casual fling is something I couldn’t ordinarily handle. It’s Miguel. Every time I am with him, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because he’s so unlike every other guy I’ve ever met. But then on the other hand, maybe it’s because we’re a lot alike. It just feels different with him.”

She ran her hands down her face. “Lord! I sound like I’m sixteen and this is my first big crush or something. What’s wrong with me? I don’t usually get so sappy over a guy I just met. The cruise will be over soon and then we’ll never see each other. There’s no future.

“This is not like dating, so I think I need to take the ‘dating’ part out of it and make it a physical thing. But, what if that makes me feel worse and even more sappy and attached?” Realizing she was rambling on nervously, she stopped and looked to Krystal for help. For the first time since Justus had known Krystal, she didn’t have any words of wisdom or sisterly advice.

“I really don’t know what to tell you. I can’t say ‘sleep with him,’ and I can’t tell you not to. It’s your decision. You know how it is Justus, sometimes sex makes things better and sometimes it makes things a whole lot worse. The only thing I can say is, go with your gut feeling.”

Justus wanted to crack a joke and say her gut was telling her it wanted bacon and eggs, but she decided against it, knowing Krystal was trying to be honest with her. She knew no one could give her the right advice about what she should
or shouldn’t do. With a defeated sigh, she headed toward the breakfast buffet.

***

“I know this may shock you, but I wish I hadn’t eaten breakfast. The pool is calling my name.”

“So swim, what’s stopping you?” Krystal asked.

“Haven’t you ever heard you aren’t supposed to swim for like, two hours after you’ve eaten?”

“You really believe that?”

“Who knows? I ate so much at breakfast it probably looks like I’m carrying twins right now.”

Krystal laughed and assured Justus she didn’t look pregnant in her bathing suit. They both decided to sunbathe for a while before swimming. Justus sat in her chair and turned it toward the sun. Krystal started fiddling with hers, too.

“Damn,” Krystal said.

“What?”

“I forgot my lotion, did you bring any?”

“Yep, hold on,” she replied as she searched her bag. When she found it, she tossed it to Krystal. Justus watched as Krystal squeezed some into her palms and started rubbing the glistening lotion on her newly tanned legs. A couple of men in their early twenties were walking by and gave Krystal appreciative glances, but completely ignored Justus. As usual, Krystal missed them, but Justus didn’t.

After she had finished the task, she put the lotion on the table between their chairs, yawned and told Justus she was taking a nap.  “Don’t let me burn,” she said sleepily.

“Okay,” Justus replied absently, without knowing what Krystal asked her.

She was busy thinking about the scene that had played out moments ago. Over the years, she’d gotten used to t
hose types of scenes. It was business as usual as far as she was concerned. Whenever the two of them were together and a man was around, it was always Krystal who got the attention and Justus who got the once-over.

She suspected it had something to do with the blonde hair and long legs. Men couldn’t seem to get past it. She and Krystal were equally pretty in the face, in her opinion. It was Krystal who had the “ideal” figure though.

I guess that’s really what men want,
she thought despondently.

Why did it always have to happen that way? Why wasn’t she ever picked over Krystal, much less looked at as well? Just once she would love it if the tables were turned, if every guy within range were checking her out instead of Krystal.

Justus realized how childish her thoughts were, and immediately felt ashamed. She looked at her sleeping friend and felt a pang of guilt. She wasn’t jealous of Krystal. She couldn’t be. There was too much love between them. Nevertheless, it hurt her ego all the same that almost every man preferred Krystal’s wholesome good looks and slender figure over her exotic looks and fuller figure. Justus suddenly remembered there was one very attractive man that had chosen her over Krystal.

Miguel.

He was beginning to be both a source of pleasure and pain to her. She knew she could no longer fight what she was feeling toward him. It was heavy attraction, both physical and mental. However, Justus wondered if Miguel was only attracted to her for physically.

The combination of the hot sun, her
full stomach and the lulling boat caused Justus to get drowsy. As she started to drift toward sleep, she remembered what it was Krystal had asked her to do. Justus bolted upright. She had to make sure Krystal didn’t burn. She picked her watch up off the chair next to her. It had been almost a half hour. Knowing how easily Krystal burned, Justus decided she had better wake her.

As she sat up, she realized she felt wide awake and anxious to think about Miguel. She needed quiet alone time to do it, too. Krystal would be okay for another ten minutes, wouldn’t she? Justus hoped so.

Last night had been so special and romantic. She thought of the dolphins for the second time that morning. As she smiled to herself, she realized their date had been fun, too. The two of them had boarded the ship just in time, at eight o’clock. They had walked together down to the shopping areas inside the boat.

Justus looked at the jewelry in one of the stores and admired a pair of pearl and sapphire earrings. Miguel had entertained her with stories about past cruises he had been on, and she told him about her life in St. Louis. After they had walked the length of the ship twice, he told her goodnight.

He kissed her and it stole her breath, like all of Miguel’s other kisses had. However, last night, there seemed to be an extra bit of heat in their kiss. Like a fire was building between the two of them and it was just about to ignite.

“
How long has it been?” Krystal asked her as she squinted against the bright sun.

“Almost a half hour,” Justus lied. It had been almost forty-five minutes, and she hoped her friend didn’t burn because of her carelessness. “Did you have a nice nap?”

“Yeah, actually I did. I dreamt of hot guys in loin cloths feeding me grapes, and fanning me with big leaves.”

“Okay,” Justus said laughing. “You mean you had a fantasy for the past half hour, no wonder you kept moaning like that.”

Krystal stopped in the middle of turning onto her back. “Hey!” she exclaimed. “I wasn’t really moaning, was I?”

Justus only laughed at her friend. As Krystal reached for her sunglasses she said, “Hey, look at that, nice bathing suit, if that’s what you can call it.”

Justus turned to see who Krystal was talking about. It was Tammy, in a white bathing suit that defied decency. It was a one-piece, in name only. It was held together by string and three scraps of fabric. Justus felt nauseated as she watched Tammy ease into the water and flash a toothy grin at a white-haired man.

“Oh, I hope she knows how to swim, it would be so terrible for her to drown.”

“Nah, she won’t drown. Her plastic tits will keep her afloat.”

“Hey, that’s a good one!”
Krystal laughed momentarily at the joke at Tammy’s expense. “Aren’t you even going to laugh at your own joke?”

Justus was too busy glaring at Tammy’s tart display to
crack a smile, much less share in a chuckle with her friend. “I find it hard to laugh when she’s around. Miguel and I ran into her last night on the ship and that spiteful wench almost ruined my night.”