Fire and Ice (44 page)

Seconds later I emerged from the forest's dense canopy of leaves and stopped dead. In front of me was a field. I recognized the pale grass growing in patchy sections, the dimly-lit football field in the distance and behind it the mustard brick building I'd attended for the past three years. These were not the lush green fields of Mythlandria, or the Wyldewoods of the Nevermore…

I was home.

I don't know how long I'd been searching the colorless woods of Drearyton Cove when a cold hand clamped down on my wrist. I swung around.

“Zanthiel, what are you doing here?” My teeth were chattering so loud it was hard to hear my own words. “Take your hands off me!” I wrenched my arm free trying to claw his chiseled face. “Adrius is out there somewhere! I'm not leaving till I find him!”

“You will never find him.” He caught both of my thrashing arms and pinned them to my sides. He shook me once. “He is gone, Lorelei. And wandering in this freezing forest all night long isn't going to lead you back to him.”

“Then take me there,” I whispered with a stuttering breath. Staring up into his disapproving glare, fresh tears welled up in me.

He didn't answer but his cool herbal breath wafted in the damp night air.

“Answer me,” I whispered. “You know how to get back there?”

He nodded, his silver eyes drilled into me.

“Will you take me with you?”

“You know I cannot do that. They will have you killed.”

“I don't care.” I slumped forward, the fight draining out of me.

He scooped me up in his arms, amidst my protests. “You can hate me later all you want, but I'll be cursed if I sit idly by while you let yourself contract pneumonia out here.”

His body was like ice against mine and my shiver deepened. “If I get pneumonia it'll be your fault,” I chattered.

Zanthiel just laughed. “You'll get over it.”

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, half-heartedly struggling to break loose.

“I'm taking you home.”

“You know it's fey like you that are the reason your world is filled with heartache and misery.”

“There are no fey like me… There's only me.”

“Why did you follow me back here? I just want to be left alone.” I sniffled, sounding as miserable as I felt. Then I sneezed.

Zanthiel paused mid-step. “Tell me to leave and I leave. Simple as that,” he said in a low voice.

Something knotted up inside. I'd already lost too much, and sending him away felt like more of the same.

“I don't know if I'm ready for you not to be here yet.”

“When will you be?”

“I'll let you know,” I mumbled.

He surprised me with a rare genuine smile. “Fair enough.”

Eventually between the unwilling rescue and the gentle rocking of the trip home I fell asleep, giving in to the odd sense of peace I found being in his cold arms.

****

A pounding on the door rivaled the one in my head. I opened my eyes, and attempted to focus.
Where is it coming from… where am I?

I sat up and crawled to my feet. The room pitched and I reached out, steadying myself on the back of the sofa —a brown and orange plaid, draped with a multicolored afghan. Camilla's place. That answered the
where
… but, not
why
. And where was my great aunt?

Things were just as I remembered, and yet at the same time completely different. Dust-speckled light streamed through a crack in the heavy curtains. The wood framed TV sat conspicuously in the middle of the room. Covered in a fine layer of dust, it seemed an archaic relic. I'd never been much for TV, nothing on ever rivaled my own imagination. And now, it certainly couldn't come close to immersing me in the experience I had lived through. Things seemed different, older, as though I was touring a museum of some ancient civilization instead of my great aunt's living room.

The pounding came again, growing more insistent.

“Lorelei. Are you in there?”

I knew that voice.

Balancing on the wall for support, I made my way to the front door.

“I'm coming,” I said, my voice crackly and weak. I hoped that would make the pounding stop, but it kept going.

I unlocked the door, and opened it, staring through the ripped screen at my best friend Abby.

“Well, it's about time,” she started then frowned as she studied my face. “Oh. My… What the heck happened to you?” Abby yanked the door open pushing her way inside. She grabbed my shoulders. “You look like you've been to Hell and back.”

That was accurate enough.

A black crow cawed, spread its wings, and swooped out of the old maple tree into the morning sky. I frowned then closed the door.

“And what are you wearing?” Her gaze roamed over me from head to toe and she wrinkled her nose. “Did you crash some crazy medieval rave or something?” she said, fingering the frayed ribbon lacing my corset.

She dragged me to the ugly sofa and forced me to sit. Then she went into the kitchen.

“Neil's been calling your cell all night. He said you texted him last night and were supposed to meet him at Lemon Balm after you left the dance but never showed.”

I took in the painfully familiar surroundings. Memories of Mythlandria threatened to choke me if I let them in. I tried not to think of the gorgeous colors and scents… the flowers, the magic…
him
. The hole in my chest was still too deep. I wasn't convinced it would ever fully heal.

A cup crashed to the floor and shattered. Abby swore under her breath. Where
was
Camilla? It wasn't like her to not be home when I was here. In six years, she had never once left me alone in her house. Soft footsteps from behind reminded me I wasn't completely alone.

Abby came back into the room, carrying a tray with two cups of tea and honey. It smelled like lemons and my stomach rolled. But I took the cup with a bleak smile.

“You took off with Mr. Hottie and then nothing… Like you vanished into another world or something.”

The porcelain cup and saucer rattled together as my hands began to shake. Quickly, I set it down, but not before Abby had a chance to notice. Her face dissolved in concern.

“Did something happen?” she asked, her voice dropping. “Did he…. hurt you? Cause I will kick his—”

“No, of course not.” I shook my head.
Not physically anyway
. Physically I was fine. It was in every other way I was broken. I tried to breathe normally. “I-I haven't seen Adrius, since… after I left,” I said, swallowing. “Abby, what day is it?”

“You're not serious.” She frowned.

“How long have I been gone?” They were worried about me. Had it been weeks, months?

“Uh, Lorelei… you disappeared for a night. What's with you?”

I picked up the tea cup, needing something to do with my hands. A day had passed. That's
all
? But how was that
possible
? I left the saucer on the table.

She made a face, but then relaxed a little.

“Okay, then what happened after you left? What's going on? Did you get into it with that psycho Bri?”

“Brianne? Why would I—?”
Oh, right. The performance
. Her vow to get even for dumping a tray of food on her when I saw—

A stab of pain went through me. Like a fresh wound had been reopened. I needed to be alone… to process. Something wasn't right. For some reason, Abby made it sound like I'd only been gone for a night. Yet, it felt like weeks had passed in the Nevermore. I noticed the calendar sitting on the desk and it confirmed my fear.

“Rough… night,” I said, stumbling over my lie. “Think I'm coming down with something.”

Abby nodded, not entirely convinced. She spotted the half-empty bowl of chicken soup on the end table at the same time I did.

“Anyway, Neil told me to give you these,” she continued, clearly uncomfortable with the subtle shift in my mood.

She handed me a box, which I opened. Inside were plane tickets and an assortment of herbs, flower essences, and ointments, along with a recipe scrawled in Gran's handwriting.

I glanced up, but she had gone back to drinking her tea on the couch, not at all interested in the contents of her delivery. If there was anything to be grateful for in all of this it was that somehow, Mom had only been waiting for me for one extra night. I felt the tightening in my chest loosen a little. Although how I got to Camilla's place was still a mystery, I remembered something from the forest… when
he
left.

Reaching inside my pocket, I retrieved the small leaf-covered package and with trembling fingers, opened it. It was a bundle of fragrant herbs, tied with spider web-like thread.
Vervain
. “Like he promised,” I whispered, the knot in my stomach returning.

“Like who promised? You're mumbling.” She wrinkled her nose at me the way you did a crazy person.

“It's nothing.” I quickly set the packages aside. “You know, I would hate for you to catch whatever this is.” Forcing a cough to sell it, I insisted, “You should really go.” There wasn't much I could do with Abby hanging over my shoulder. And there was a lot I needed to do.

“But… ”

“Seriously… I'm fine, I just need some sleep. I'll be better tomorrow.”

She got up, still confused. “Okaaay? If you're sure?” she stalled, scanning the room. “Are you sure you want to hang out —
here
? Wouldn't you rather go home than wait here for the old witch to come back? Where is she anyway?”

I cringed. It was such an ugly word when she used it like that. But she was right. This was the last place I wanted to be right now. The last place I ever wanted to be. What I wanted was to be back in Mythlandria… but
that
wasn't happening. And I did prefer my uptight, pristine childhood home to the bitter, outdated one of my aunt's. Even without Camilla's presence, I felt unwelcome. There was something about her absence that left me with an uneasy tightness in the pit of my stomach. It made me want to stick around, at least for a while.

“Camilla will be back soon… and I'm fine here.” I nodded. “I'm leaving tomorrow to visit mom anyway, remember?” I forced a smile and walked her to the door.

“I hope she's alright. Call me when you get back. Deal?” She reached down and picked up a foot long black feather and handed it to me before making a reluctant departure.

Leaning against the closed door, my limbs tingled with nerves as an unbearable sadness descended on me. I sighed. Moping in bed with a box of tissue and a pint of Rocky Road was a luxury I didn't have, even though it was all I was up to. I had to get Gran's herbal remedy ready for Mom.

****

The name on the slightly opened door read
Vivianne Alundra
. A private room, in Dublin's finest hospital, of course. She looked so small and pale lying in that bed buried under layers of pristine sheets and blankets. Just like she had in my vision. I perched next to her and waited as a nurse fussed with tubes and monitors. Only when the nurse finally left and there were no scheduled visits for a while did I pull out Gran's concoction.

The mixture reeked and no one would believe I was helping if they saw it, so I worked quickly and kept things hidden. Filling the eyedropper, I pressed it between her chapped lips, squeezing the amber liquid into her mouth. It took about eight times, until the entire mixture had been emptied, exactly as Gran had written in her instructions.

Her eyelids fluttered as the color slowly return to her cheeks. I'd looked at her face so many times before. Yet sitting here next to her now, after everything that had happened, everything I now knew… she was a stranger. Someone I never really knew.

Even shrouded in this new identity, I loved her. I would always love her. I brushed my hand across her forehead. She's always had a youthful look, passing more often for my sister than my mom.

A nurse knocked softly, peeking through the door. “Talk to her. Let her hear your voice, sweetheart.” She gave me a warm smile before she closed the door behind her. I wanted to be alone with the woman who managed to keep her life a total secret from me for seventeen years.

“You know, even though I've never told you this, I think you're an amazing pianist. You're beautiful and bright. It's no wonder the world loves you the way they do. The way I do.” I swallowed the knot in my throat and picked up her hand. It felt cool, but not as cold as when I'd arrived. That was a good sign.

Something shifted inside. I knew I was strong enough to do it this time. When Mom woke up, it would be time for all of our secrets to be dissolved. I knew hers, now she should know at least a few of mine. I would wait until her eyes were open and then I was going use my powers to heal her. The one person I'd never been able to heal before.

It wasn't until around three in the morning when I felt a hand softly stroke the back of my head. I'd fallen asleep, arms folded under my head face down on the edge of her bed. I looked up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. She was awake and in the dark room with only the glow of a night light, the blue of her eyes had never looked brighter.

Her face dissolved into a smile. “Hey,” she whispered and I threw my arms around her, almost too tightly.

The tears I'd saved since childhood came pouring out. She patted my back, cooing in a motherly fashion completely foreign to me. I would never have described our relationship as warm and fuzzy, though you'd never know it looking at us now.

“There, there. It's alright. Everything's fine. I'm fine,” she said, stroking my hair.

I lifted my tear soaked face, brushing back a damp curl and sniffled. “I know, and now I'm going to make sure you stay that way.”

She frowned slightly as I took her hand and closed my eyes. I felt the energy build inside me with such force I had to take deep breaths to control it. The last thing I wanted to do was vaporize her or something. I relaxed and felt the power subside to a more manageable flow. When I opened my eyes, the tips of my fingers were releasing glowing orbs of brilliant white light.

My mother was motionless, eyes wide, her face frozen in a blend of shock and horror.

I urged the healing energy from my hands into her, watching it fill the parts of her which had been affected by her illness. As the last of the disease vanished from her body, I saw a vision… it was just a glimpse of how she had contracted the illness to begin with. It had been a curse… a spell of dark magic. The face I saw made me drop her hand and leap out of my chair. It was Zanthiel's.

I waited for her to say something. To make some sort of comment, to flip out or freak or
something
. She just smiled.

“So… you're like Jesus now.” Her eyes dropped to my feet… Minus the sandals.”

I laughed, and sat down, still unsure of her reaction. Was she still in shock? It didn't matter. I couldn't let it stop me. It was now or never. With a deep breath, I plunged into a tale of the events that led up to my trip into the Nevermore, including Zanthiel controlling my singing voice, allowing me to sing only on his command. I gave every detail, of what I learned about her and Gran and my father… but carefully left out the parts involving Adrius. It was too painful to talk about it, and what difference did it make now? It was over. She didn't need to know. Not now, when he was gone for good.

She waited for me to finish and merely nodded when I was done, folding her elegant hands together on top of her blankets.

“You
knew
… ” I gasped. It seemed implausible my prima donna, slightly self-absorbed mother knew all about the Nevermore… about faeries, elves, and witches. She didn't even believe in astrology, complained it was all far-fetched woo-woo nonsense.
This
was as farfetched as it got. And yet she took it all in without question.

She smiled. “Why do you think I sent you to see Dr. Greenbalm? I knew he'd be able to help more than any other doctor could.” Her eyes brightened. “How was the performance, by the way?”

“Great,” I muttered, still wrestling with this new bread crumb. It was like the trail that never ends. Just when I thought I'd reached the end, I found myself back at the beginning of a whole new trail. I'd deliberately explained everything slowly, not wanting to freak her out. Instead she took it all in stride, and I was the one freaking.

“Why didn't you tell me any of this?” A part of me felt betrayed. How could I not? Essentially she'd been lying to me since birth.

The spark in her eyes dimmed and she squeezed her hands together. “I didn't want that for you, honey. I wanted you to have a chance at a normal life. When I met your father — I had no idea who or what he was. I only knew how I felt. When love like that strikes, it's impossible to deny. The heart wants what it wants. One day you'll experience it for yourself.”

I winced inwardly, but managed to nod.

“When I found out he was Faerie from the Unseelie Court and their king, well… your grandmother and I both knew you had to be hidden from them and from the witches, to keep you safe. They have these insane rules… ”

“I remember,” I said absently.

Her face fell. “Guess I didn't do such a great job.”

“What do you mean?”

“Keeping the truth from you didn't help. Your life
was
in danger… every second you spent in the Nevermore you were at risk.” Her head fell back against the pillows and she looked so worn out, sleepy.

“You did fine, Mom… just fine,” I said as her eyes drifted shut.

I pulled up her blankets, making sure she was warm, and I prepared to leave. My return flight was in a few hours and the sun was already rising over the rolling hills. I stared out the window at the spectacular view, awakening a familiar dull ache in my chest. Ireland bore too close a resemblance to Mythlandria.

Mom's deep steady breathing filled the room. She'd be alright now. She needed some rest. By morning the staff would make arrangements to have her flown to Drearyton County General for observation, as a precaution. And her miraculous healing would be chalked up to an act of God or a faulty diagnosis. No one would suspect the real cause.

“I have to go now, Mom,” I whispered, kissing her color-stained cheeks. “I love you.”

I gathered my coat, feeling a calm wash over me I hadn't felt in months. Months in Faery time that is.

“Lorelei?” The strength of her voice stopped me as I my hand gripped the doorknob. “Don't blame your father for leaving. More than anything he wanted to stay with you. But he did what he had to do to keep you safe. It was the
elves
,” she spat the word. “And their particular brand of justice… they were responsible for his death.” Then everything fell quiet except for the purr of the equipment hooked up to her and the heavy breathing of sleep.

The
elves
? What did she mean by that? I left the room, bothered that my newfound calmness was dissolving in the rising stomach acid of fear.