Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2) (15 page)

46

CONNOR

I
could barely
stand when the sun came up. I felt there was an incredible weight on my head, splitting it open. Shards of glass dug into my palms. I stumbled out of bed, barely missing the broken mirror on the floor. It took me a minute to register that the blood—the blood smeared on my hands, the bloody spots on the floor, the red on my sheets—was mine and it was everywhere. I heard the phone ringing. It was a shrill sound that sawed into my brain, but I had to get it. It could be Matt or Nanan. They had said they were close to figuring out the portal. My feet shuffled into the hallway, and plucked up the phone receiver. I heaved in a deep breath before I could say “Hello?”

“
We got it. Holy shitballs. We actually got it!” Matt’s voice was vibrating with energy, and feeling so weak and lethargic, I couldn’t imagine how so much energy was possible.

“
That’s...good.” I wheezed out.

“
Um, can I get a little more excitement? I mean, I was here at the witch lady’s—ouch! Sorry! No offense.” Matt’s voice dipped to a whisper. “Witch lady knows how to use a broom as a weapon. Anyway, we have it all set up here. Just come over... and, and we can...do this. Oh, and witch lady says bring something that Jade wore.”

I nodded, but then said,
“Okay” when I realized he couldn’t see me. I started shuffling back to my room to snag the shirt Jade had worn—my dad’s shirt—and stuff it in my back pocket.

“
Maybe have some coffee or something...because you don’t sound enthused enough for teleportation. Chin up, buttercup. Your demon girl is gonna be in your arms in no time.”

I started to laugh, but the feeling was so ragged and painful that I just hung up instead. I leaned my shoulder against the wall as I descended the stairs. I reached for Jade... but she was shut off to me, so far out of reach. I walked into the
kitchen and stopped, narrowing my eyes.

Mom sat shaking at the kitchen table.

“Mom? Mom, is everything all right?” I asked her and each word was like a blade to my throat.

She jerked her head from side to side.
“N-no. Connor. Th-things are n-not all right.”

That is when I noticed them. Two men and... I cocked my head to the side. Dr. Trist? The psychiatrist from the hospital?
“Mom? Mom, what are they doing here?” More knives in my throat.

Mom
burst into sloppy sobs. I wanted to go and wrap my arms around her, but I could barely move and then
they
were stepping between us.

“
Hello, Connor. We met in the hospital. I am Dr. Trist.” He trailed his fingers over the ten hairs that covered his bald head before pulling out a small notebook from his pants pocket. “Your mother contacted me about—some concerns—she has. I would like to talk to you about them.”

He took my silence as permission to proceed.
“She has mentioned some peculiar behavior on your part... obsessive rituals, lack of appetite, talking to yourself, talking to inanimate objects.”

I was shaking my head before he was finished.
“I—I’m not crazy.”

“
Oh, son, people rarely see when they are struggling.”

“
Don’t call me son.” My voice was sharper than I intended.

“
Okay, I won’t call you...”

“
I didn’t know what to do!” Mom’s voice clawed through her whimpering sobs. “You have to go with them, Connor. I can’t keep you unsafe. And you are unsafe here. I—I can’t lose you.”

“
Mom—you aren’t losing me. What do you mean? Go with them?”

“
We are here to take you to a residential mental health facility in New Orleans. We are hoping that our program there can help you with your—schizophrenia.”

“
I am not a schizophrenic!”

“
Then explain what’s going on!” Mom yelled.

“
I can’t!” I yelled back and winced at the pain.

“
Now, Connor. It would be best if you just go with us quietly...” He took several strides toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“
I won’t go anywhere with you.” I pushed him away.

“
Violence... violence isn’t tolerated.” Dr. Trist said as he straightened the lapels on his suit jacket and arranged his tie. “You are coming with us. Willing or unwilling.”

“
Mom? Mom!” I searched her face, but her eyes were glassy and far away. Desperation brought her to this. Fear. “Mom, tell them to leave.”

Mom shook her head and ever so quietly, said,
“No.”

The two men behind Dr. Trist moved forward. One had a taser poised in his hand.
What if they got me and dragged me to whatever car was waiting outside? What if I never got to Nanan’s? What if...

“
Stay away from me.” I growled as the men try to take my arms. Their faces contorted to a sneer and I could hear the hum of the taser turned on. I can’t be taken. I can’t.

Then you won
’t.
Jade’s voice tickled my mind... but it wasn’t Jade’s. It was a slithering sound, but even as I questioned it, a well of strength bubbled up within me, and as the men in suits lunged forward, I jabbed my palms forward, and right as my hands made contact with their chests, frost webbed out over their bodies and they froze in place.

“
What the hell?” Dr. Trist reached for his men and his rage brimmed over in his gaze. “What have you done?”

I lunged forward, wrapped my fingers around his throat and tightened, letting the frost unwind and coil around him.
“I can’t be taken.” I whispered just as the frost shone over the lines of his face.

Mom stood up and ran to the men, examining their
faces, trying to shake them. Adrenaline pulsed in me and I was running to the door, only glancing back for a moment and yelling to my mom: “Don’t follow me!” And with that, I was out the door.

Nanan and Matt were already there when I walked through the door. A large circle with runes and symbols were etched along the edges.

Matt looked up at me, did a double take and blinked, “You seriously look like shit, man.”

“
Thanks.”

“
No offense, but were you hit by a truck since I saw you .yesterday?”

I felt like I had been, but it was Nanan who answered.
“She’s pulling on his strength.” She shuffled to me and took my face in her cold, withered hands. “Oh, my boy, you ain’t gonna last. Not like this.”

She snapped her fingers at Matt.
“Light them candles and draw the unbinding rune.” She looked back at me. “Do you have it?”

I pulled the shirt that I had shoved partway into my back pocket. Jade had worn it and it still smelled like her. Nanan nodded when she saw it.
“Good.”

“
Step inside the circle, my boy.”

“
What?”

“
We are gonna need some of your blood, boy. Hers is linked to yours now, and since we don’t got her, you’re next best thing.”

“
How much blood?”

Nanan pulled out a small gold dish and a blade.
“Enough to fill the bottom of this.”

I nodded and stretched out my arm to her. She made a cut and the blood spilled into the plate. I winced at the sting, but was amazed that I could see it healing before my eyes, slowly
—but very real.

I gasped as Matt let out a very loud,
“Holy crap!”

Nanan set the dish at the head of the circle and motioned for me to stand in the center. I breathed in
deeply and moved to the center.

“
Once we start this, we can’t stop. And if we can, we will send you to her right after the Unbinding.”

“
I—I can’t reach her... I can’t get through to her mind to warn her.”

Nanan
’s eyes grew wider. “Dejanira is getting stronger since they are in Hell. She’s rejecting your presence.”

“
I just hope this works.”

“
I do too.”

“
Uh, yeah, me too. Don’t forget the brains behind this operation.”

“
Of course not.” I coughed and when I pulled my hand away from my mouth, it came away bloody. “Let’s get started.”

47

JADE

I faced Lilith
, eyes blazing, poised to cut into my skin again. My heart pounded a frantic rhythm.
I can’t give up
.

Lilith lifted her brow and sneered,
“By all means keeping fighting. The more you fight the weaker you will become. The weaker
he
will become.”

My gaze faltered.
Connor?

Her laugh was cruel,
“It’s inevitable. Your true nature will win. This is the way it is meant to be.”

I could feel the evil digging deep and craving blood and sacrifice. When I looked at Giovanni and Lynx, a flutter of images flashed in my mind—each murderous image more gruesome than the last.
Think of what we could do. The blood on an angel and a guardian! Think of the power...
Dejanira’s voice grated against my brain. I could feel her fingers tickle my mind and yanking and contorting my thoughts. I fell to me knees, rasping. W—why was I here? Lynx.
Lynx.
It was an important name... I knew it was, so why was it so hard to hold on to?

Giovanni
’s voice was a rumble grazing my mind. “Jade—Jade, Don’t forget... who you really are.” Who I really am? I closed my eyes.
You are a Demon Princess,
Dejanira roared, thrashing against my insides. I could almost feel her clawing her way out. I didn’t know how much longer I could resist. I was stuck, crippled and defenseless. Lynx’s broken body and Giovanni’s weakening one lay on the floor besides me. The only way to win was to pull on my strength and fight back to save them both. I reached to Connor, searching for our link, our connection.

Dejanira interrupted me with a whisper in my mind.
Oh, he is—unavailable right now. You already took too much from him. You are always taking too much.

No, no, no! My desperate eyes darted to Giovanni. He had started to stand, but in a flutter of more fallen feathers, and a deep, excruciating inhale, he fell back onto one knee. But he was closer to me and somehow, that helped.

That was when the tattoo faded completely, leaving my skin untouched.

And that was when I heard Dejanira howl with laughter. I tried, but I could feel her... clawing her way to freedom.

48

GIOVANNI

J
ade turned to
me, convulsing, and she lifted the sword sheathed to her back and trained it on my throat. Tears ran rivers down her cheeks. “Jade?” Blotchy blackness leaked into her eyes. Her hands were shaking violently, trying not to lift the blade any higher, trying not to thrust it any closer. Lilith twirled gleefully across the ice. “Yes, yes, yes! My princess is coming home.” I ignored her, staring into Jade’s changing gaze.

“
Don’t let me do it.” Desperation flooded her eyes, a shimmer of green blazing to life before dulling again.

Jade
’s head tipped back, the blankness shifting over her features about to let Dejanira take hold. The sword dropped to the ice, clanging against it. I lunged for her and wrapped my arms around her, pinning her to me. She jerked in my arms. “Jade. Jade,” I whispered into her ear, feeling her quake beneath my arms, feeling the monster take hold. “Jade, I am here. Fight. Fight!”

My chest was all shallow breaths and hollowness. I stared into her face. I could see her wincing; see the pain shudder through her as she fought back. Sweat trickled from her brow and then blood dripped from her nose.
“I—I can’t.” Her voice broke on the words. “Just don’t let me do it. Don’t let me become
her
.”

“
You won’t!” I insisted, but she shook her head.

Another fierce spasm rocked through her and I knew that there was very little of Jade left in my arms, but she still fought.
“Kill me, Giovanni. You have to kill me.” Every word came out on a labored breath, but she managed each one through gritted teeth.

I shook my head. Never. I didn
’t care if her other half tore me apart; I could never hurt her with those slivers of green peeking through. Not while Jade was still in my arms. Gold spires and home flashed to mind. When had I lost my battle sense? When did I forget that one life was always better to take than risking more? When did I lose the strength to kill? I looked down into her strained, desperate, and dulling eyes. I knew exactly when. It was when I loved. Love was a fierce and treacherous thing. It sneaks up on you and steals your breath when you aren’t looking. It reaches deep in your chest and settles there so that nothing else can fill it. It keeps your arms wrapped around the very thing that may kill you just because you hope that it won’t, and even if it did, it wouldn’t matter, because at least you held it until the end.

“
No” I said back to her. “I won’t kill you. Ever.” Memories slammed into me... and I remembered a world of promises, and feelings, and shy touches, and the gold orb in my pocket. I remembered it all, everything I had locked deep inside and I suddenly knew how stupid I was forever pushing her away, for not holding her like this every moment she was close to me... because, what if this was the last time? “No,” I said back to her. “I won’t kill you. Ever.”

She fell still and I almost thought that my words had quieted her, but then I heard it. A voice like knives and rust and tinkling bells all forged together.
“That is very good to know.” I opened my eyes and saw black ones looking back at me. Her lips were quirked up in a grin above her pointy demon teeth. I swallowed hard. “So nice to see the angels finally falling prey to the demons. Did you enjoy this flesh?” She lifted a hand and stroked my cheek. “I would love to play.” A slitted black tongue darted past her lips and licked my cheek.

I stiffened. I put my hand out and pulled her vision back to me. I searched her face, searched for her, but saw no sign of her.
“Jade...Jade, please.”

That was when it happened: her claws gouged into my gut, tearing. I groaned.
“That’s not my name,
Angel
,” she hissed, her fist tightening; she was cutting me open at my center, letting my energy spill out to weaken me. I could feel myself collapsing, folding in on itself. “My name is...”

Her head snapped back and then sideways at an unnatural angle. I could feel the claws unhinge from my skin and I fell on the ground gasping, watching as her eyes flickered and looked confused in their oily blackness. Her bloody claws reached up and stilled over her chest. It was shaking as if Dejanira didn
’t want it there, but something... someone inside her did.

I sat up. The claw dug deep into the skin and Dejanira howled and shook her head from side to side. The claw dragged down, twisting and turning and swiveling, leaving a gaping, flapping black veined skin and a trail of oozing blood. Dejanira
’s black eyes rolled back into her head. Then the hand fell to her side and she fell to her knees. Her head whipped back, and a coiling, thick, black smoke poured from her lips. It was a cloud of flies, blackness, and shards of ice. As it stopped, she fell forward and I scrambled up to catch her before she fell face first onto the ice. I pulled her into my lap and cradled her in my arms. Her eyes were closed, but the vein tracks were receding. The color flushed back into her skin. She wasn’t breathing. I pressed my ear to her chest. No sound. No heartbeat. No, no, no. I needed that sound in the world. I needed that drum as a constant music in the silence between us. I inhaled deeply and shook. She was gone. Jade was gone and her corpse was sprawled out in my arms bloody as if I was the one who killed her.

I leaned down and rested my forehead to hers. My breath stuttered in and out. Her cheek was so soft; her eyelashes grazed my skin, and her lips were so close to mine. I swallowed and murmured,
“I’m sorry,” into her cheek; then I did the unthinkable and let my lips graze hers. She was gone and it was only now that I finally could kiss her. I intended to only let my lips linger for a moment, but then... she was kissing me back. I gasped and my eyes fluttered open to see her beneath me, her lips brushing and pressing against mine. She was alive! And she was kissing me back. I pulled away and cupped her cheek, desperate to make sure that this was real, that this was true.

Her eyes were closed, her lips swollen and ripe. She was almost smiling. Smiling. I shivered from the intensity and leaned down to kiss her lips again, just as I heard it, her beautiful, but ragged voice whispered just a feather
’s width beneath my lips, “Connor?”

I flinched away, pitching her forward and to the ground, lunging back so there was space between us. She thought she was kissing
him
. There needed to be more space, more distance. There needed to be a world shoved between us so that she didn’t see me shatter to pieces like the ice all around us.

My shoulders were shaking. Jade
’s body was healing, her brows pinched in concentration and pain. She started to sit up as she brought her fingers to her lips to touch the wetness there. She said the damned boy’s name again and I swore that it was the ugliest sound in the world. It was like a sliver of glass digging deep.

A bark of laughter sounded behind me along with another tinkling giggle. I whirled around, swords in hand, and blinked.

Lilith, elegant and shimmering in her black gown and frosty crown, her eyes alight with mirth, stood beside...
her
.

Dejanira was a delicate and monstrous thing. Shadows writhed around her pale, ashen skin. She looked hollow and rotting: skin caving into the space beneath her cheekbones, dark circles smudged under her eyes as if the blackness of them leaked out, spilled and pooled beneath them. The cracked, chapped lips turned up in a terrifying smirk. Pointy teeth peaked out under her lips.

I choked on my breath, blinking again, whipping my head to Jade to see if she was still on the ground. She was... she was there, a bright glow surrounding her, but she still seemed far away. I looked back at the devils in front of me. “What—wha—”

Dejanira skipped forward and curled her clawed fingertips in front of her.
“Oh, it feels so nice to be free.” Her voice slithered over and found me. “So nice to not be caged and leashed in such a pathetic host.” Her head cocked at an unnatural angle and slid over to Jade’s recuperating frame. I stepped into her line of vision. Her laugh was razor blades and breaking glass. “And you!” She pointed at me. “An angel! So fragile in the hands of a half-breed. Aren’t you supposed to be a warrior of Heaven? A divine soldier?” Dejanira twisted her head completely backwards to look at her mother as her body stayed poised forward. I swallowed bile. “Looks like Heaven and Earth won’t be so hard to destroy, mother... not with such weak competition.” Lilith smiled. Dejanira’s head snapped forward; her gaze fixed on me. “It almost seems like it won’t be much fun at all to rip all your life sources out from your guts if you won’t even fight to keep them. Won’t even fight...”

“
We. Will. Fight.” The words blazed behind me and even Lilith and Dejanira looked startled. The voice was familiar, but booming like a roar of thunder in this cavern of ice. I slowly turned toward Jade, expecting to see her in a heap on the floor. She wasn’t. She stood with not even a scratch defiling her skin. I gulped down, because even knowing what she was, I never imagined the true glory of it. She was riveting—gorgeous, pristine, and lethal. Shadows and flames undulated around her in an intricate dance. Somehow, she seemed to loom before all of us, expanding to fill the space. She wasn’t, but her power pulsed in the air. “You aren’t the only one free, Dejanira.”

“
But how—” Dejanira—all pointy teeth and sunken skin—looked confused and angry.

Jade tapped on her temple and smirked.
“I have another voice in my head, leech.”

My gut tightened at the thought. Him. In her head.

“And he told me a little secret.”

“
And what secret is that?” Lilith spoke, her velvety voiced edged.

“
Dejanira weakened me. She blocked my other strengths, the Seraph blood. And now, she can’t anymore.” Jade reached back and pulled out the twin swords I had given her, etched with the angelic symbols. She closed her eyes as she unsheathed them, exhaling as if a ripple of pleasure undulated through her. Her eyes snapped open, blazing green and the swords flared to fiery life. She swirled them in the air in slow, controlled, arcs and then rested them in Lilith’s and Dejanira’s direction. “I will tear you both apart. Limb from limb. And I won’t spare a single tear for you.”

Dejanira let out a shot of nervous laughter, but her eyes narrowed.
“Will you now? That would really need to happen soon, pretty girl. Because soon, the monsters below will rise up... and you won’t be able to stop us. We will destroy you all.”

I couldn
’t listen anymore. I whirled around, releasing one of my daggers in the air. It soared, spinning. Blade over hilt until it slid into Lilith’s chest. Dejanira screamed, whipping around and lunging for her. Lilith’s eyes grew wider and wider, her lips parting as an oily spill of inky blood trickled from her lips. She grasped at the blade, but the angelic poison must have already been spilling into her because after one tug, she let go, gasping in huge breaths. Dejanira’s ferocious gaze snapped to me and she leaped forward, claws outstretched. I didn’t have any more weapons, but even with the weakness rotting inside me, I wouldn’t give up. My legs felt weak, buckling beneath me. No, no, no! I needed to fight. Needed to get Lynx. Needed to protect Jade.

Jade flung herself forward, sliding on her knees, dragging the blade behind her. Heat emanated from her in blistering waves. The force knocked Dejanira back. I don
’t remember when I fell to my knees or when the walls started closing in. Jade was holding me, whispering in my ear, her lips grazing my cheek. I couldn’t hear what she was saying. It all felt so far away. She shook me, and cupped my face in her hands. She was screaming at me, but the sound was muffled. The light was fleeting and all I saw as all went black was Dejanira standing behind Jade and thrusting her claws into her back.