I paused right outside the opened door to the apartment. “What are you talking about?”
“You know,” he waved. “She’s an overly headstrong twenty-one year old woman living alone in the Manhattan. I guess I’d just be more comfortable if she had someone watching over her when I’m not able to.”
We spent the next few hours going through everything with a fine-tooth comb before finally heading out to go back to the station.
“So…” I started as Dex drove. “You wish Pepper had a boyfriend?” I asked, feeling like I’d suddenly grown a vagina. What the hell was I doing?
“Huh?” Dex glanced from the wheel momentarily to look at me in confusion. Yep, I’d definitely grown a vagina.
“You know, you were talking earlier about worrying about Pep being alone in the city and stuff. Do you wish she was in a relationship or something?”
Oh, sweet fuck. So much for finesse.
He gave my question some thought. “Well, I was thinking more along the lines of a roommate or something…”
Fucking hell, I’d misread that one
.
“Well, I mean, if she were dating someone he’d probably be more protective of her than a roommate, right?” I could literally feel my testicles retreating into my stomach.
“I guess,” he shrugged. “I mean, if he was good enough. She’s had a tendency to pick some real fucking losers in the past.” It was completely irrational, but the thought of her with another man twisted my gut into knots. “Wendy’s actually been talking about setting her up for a while. I just haven’t approved of any of the douchebags she’s had in mind.”
Here goes nothing
. “Well what about someone you know?”
For some reason, that idea had Dex howling in laughter. “Are you fuckin’ kidding?” He bellowed like it was the funniest goddamned thing I’d ever said. “Yeah, and who’d you have in mind?
Rowan
?” More hysterical laughter.
“No,” I gritted, my jaw ticking at how hard I was grinding my teeth together. Just the idea of Rowan touching her made me want to punch his face in.
“If any of the guys I know were to so much as lay a hand on her, I’d be forced to shoot it off. No offense, man, you know I got nothing but love for you, but I’ve known you guys for way too fucking long. I’ve seen the shit you’ve pulled. Hell, I was there for most of it. It’s a wonder Wendy ever looked twice at my dumb ass.”
That knot in my gut tightened as a strong sour feeling caused it to flip and roll, nausea threatening to take over. “Yeah,” I grunted noncommittally. Jesus, what the fuck had I been thinking? There was no way Dex would ever accept me and Pepper in any way.
“Luckily,” he continued, twisting the knife just a little bit deeper, “You’re allergic to monogamy so I don’t have to worry about you going near her.” He laughed lightheartedly, completely oblivious to the turmoil swirling around in my head. “You’re a brother to me, man. Hate to have to kill you.”
The small laugh I let out was totally fake. Fortunately he didn’t seem to notice. I’d already betrayed his trust by being with Pepper the first time. I couldn’t risk losing it completely be carrying on, no matter how much I wanted her. My friendship with Dex ran deep. I cared about the man. He was my brother. Even though the thought of hurting her killed, I just couldn’t do it, not now that I knew just how adamant he was about it. It wasn’t right.
“Hey, what do you think about Thai for lunch?” he asked.
“Sure.” And just like that, the conversation was over. I was a complete coward. I was going to hurt one person to spare another because I had no backbone. I was a shitty friend and an even worse man.
The only thing I could hope was that Pepper didn’t hate me forever.
Present
PEPPER STIRRED IN HER
sleep against me, drawing me back into the present. “Mmm, Griffin?” she mumbled in her sleep.
“Shh,” I soothed, running my fingers through her hair before wrapping my other arm tighter around her. “Sleep baby.”
“You’re still here?” she whispered quietly, her arm squeezing gently.
I pressed my lips to her forehead, inhaling the subtle, sweet smell of her hair. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetness. Sleep.”
“’Kay.” Seconds later her breathing slowed and I knew she was deep under once again. As I waited for sleep to finally take hold, I couldn’t help but wonder how in the fuck I’d been lucky enough to get the beautiful, strong-willed woman lying beside me not once, but twice in my lifetime. I didn’t deserve her, no goddamned doubt about that, but after how badly I hurt her the first time, there was no way in hell I was going to do that again.
I just had to figure out what the hell I
was
going to do. If I thought the situation had been messy the first time, well… it was about to get a million times worse.
THE FIRST THOUGHT THAT
ran through my mind once the cobwebs began to clear was
why is someone rubbing sandpaper against my cheek
? The second was
red wine is an evil bitch-whore.
Hadn’t I
just
told myself not long ago that I was never drinking again?
Why didn’t I ever listen to myself? With a grunt of pain, I slowly peeled my eyelids open, desperate to stop the spinning in my head and the rough grating thing against my cheek. What I saw when I opened my eyes gave me pause. Was I dreaming? Was it possible I was still drunk?
“Uh… hello,” I croaked out.
Meow
.
Pushing myself up onto my elbows, I squinted my eyes and stared. “And where did you come from?”
Meow
. The fat ginger cat butted its nose into my cheek and proceeded to lick it.
So that explains the sandpaper
. “Where the hell am I?” I asked myself as I gently pushed the orange fur ball away so I could sit up… and maybe save
some
of the skin left on my cheek. My cloudy eyes took in the unfamiliar room as growing panic began to churn in my belly. What the hell had I done last night? The cat let out another meow before hopping into my lap. I absentmindedly patted its head as I looked around the space for something that would tell me where I was.
Then I saw it.
“Ah, shit,” I groaned. At the sight of the badge laying on the bedside table, the night before crashed into me like a massive wave that pulled me under. I remembered a rather insightful game of Fuck Marry Kill. I remembered wine. I remembered the bathroom.
Oh God
, the bathroom. I remembered acting like a brazen hussy, all but using his leg as a humping post. I’d completely thrown all of my concerns out the window at the thought of sleeping with Griffin again. Jesus, I was such an idiot. I remembered Wendy booing and Griffin hailing us a cab, but after that, it’s all blank.
Did we have sex? I jerked the comforter up and let out a relieved sigh at the sight of my shirt and panties still in place. I mean, he wouldn’t have slept with me then put half my clothes back on… right?
Before I could think about it further, all of the air was expelled from my lungs with an
ooph
as the cat launched its mass onto my belly.
“Jeez, ginger.” I sat up and began rubbing behind the cat’s ear, and ear that looked like it had been cut with a pair of crimping scissors. It let out a loud, rumbly purr as it plopped down and flipped over onto its back. “You really are a sweet thing, aren’t you?” I asked. “Ugly as hell, but sweet.” Its burnt orange hair was thinner in some places and its tail looked like it had been cut off at some point. If I had to guess, the thing had to have been
at least
a good five pounds overweight, but it seemed happy, nonetheless.
The clanging coming from what I could only assume was the kitchen and the blissful aroma of coffee was enough to drag me from the bed. With the cat cradled against my chest, purring contentedly, I made my way down the long hall surprised to find the soft gray walls covered in framed photos and artwork, all subtle and perfectly spaced. It wasn’t something you’d typically see in a bachelor’s house. I would have questioned where I was just then, had some of the photos not contained Rowan and Dex. Hell, there was even one of me there, wearing the cap and gown from my high school graduation. Dex had one arm thrown over my shoulder and was looking down at me with a bright smile. My head was tipped back in laughter, my eyes squeezed closed and my smile beaming. It was a surprisingly fantastic picture, and my fingers itched to steal it.
The smell of coffee grew stronger the closer I got to the end of the hall, and once there, I froze in place at the sight before me. Griffin wasn’t wearing anything other than a pair of loose gray basketball shorts that hung deliciously off his hips. His back was to me and the muscles beneath his smooth, tanned skin bunched and flexed as he reached into a cabinet over his head to retrieve two coffee mugs. His dark brown hair was damp from a recent shower, making the glistening strands look black in the kitchen lights above him.
As if he sensed me standing there, he turned around to face me, doing a double take at the cat in my arms.
“Of course she likes
you
,” he mumbled as he rolled his eyes skyward. “You’re both red devils.”
“Hey,” I snapped then cringed as the sharp sound pierced through my throbbing brain. “Don’t be an asshole when I’m hungover.”
He stared at me, a smirk teasing at the corners of his mouth as I slowly made my way to one of the barstools and sat down, still holding the cat.
“As opposed to being an asshole when you’re healthy?”
“How about you try not being an asshole to begin with?” I tried my best evil stare but the squinting just made my head hurt worse. “You can start by getting me a cup of coffee.”
He gave a chortling snort as he turned back to the coffee maker. “Your wish is my command, sweetness,” he said mockingly. Once I had the cup of hot goodness in front of me, I sniffed with appreciation and brought it to my lips.
“Thanks,” I finally offered as the warm liquid began heating me from the inside out. “So…” I wasn’t quite sure where to start. My brain was a scrambled mess.
“So…” he mimicked, and it was apparent he was trying his hardest to keep the smile off his face.
I narrowed my eyes as much as they’d allow without pain. “What happened last night?”
“Well,” he started casually as he turned back to pour himself a mug. “Depends. Are you talking before or after I nearly fucked you against your brother’s bathroom wall?”
I swallowed a mouthful of coffee, hoping to wet my suddenly dry mouth. “A-after.”
“Nothing,” he shrugged, coming back and resting on hand on the counter between us as he took a sip. “You passed out about a second after we got into the back of the cab.”
“So why not just take me back to my place?” I asked around the rim of my coffee mug.
“Because my house, coincidentally, is stun gun free.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes, only I did it with a wince. “Oh, please. It was
one
time. And I thought you were an intruder!”
“It was twice, actually.” He leveled me with a glare. “And only one of those times did you think I was an intruder.”
I couldn’t stop the small grin from curling my lips. Just remembering his huge body twitching on my kitchen floor made me choke on the laughter I was trying to hold in. “Sorry, sorry,” I giggled when his face got darker. “But you could have just dropped me off, you know. It’s not like you had to stay and risk bodily injury.”