First Love (23 page)

“That would be nice.”

“How about me?” Drew asked.

“Sweetheart,” her father answered, “we’ll have the biggest damn barbecue when you get back here. That way if anyone gets sick, we’ll have a doctor to take care of your mother’s cooking.” He grinned at her mother.

“Charles Hamilton, you may be on bread and coffee if you don’t watch it. You’ve never complained before.”

“I’m not complaining now.” He leaned over and kissed her.

“Mom, Dad, it’s been a long day for us. Is it all right if we go to bed? I’m really tired.”

“Of course. I put clean sheets on your bed. Hayden put your stuff in your old bedroom. Can we make sure the other agents get fed?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jordan answered. “I’ll make sure. Thank you for all this.”

“You girls go on upstairs and I’ll clean up.”

“I can help,” Drew offered.

Her father stood up. “No, you get some sleep. We’ve got a lot of work in the morning.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Good night, Jordan.”

When Jordan discovered that she and Drew were sleeping in the same room, she was shocked. “Are you sure we are both supposed to sleep in the same room?”

“Yes. There’s our stuff.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“What will your parents say? They might guess that we…”

“My parents will say nothing.” Drew’s look was questioning. “They know we’re sleeping together already.”

Jordan stared wide-eyed. “I’ll never be able to face them. I can’t. I’ll be so embarrassed.”

Drew laughed. “Honey, they would be more surprised if we weren’t sleeping together. They’d worry that something was wrong. Don’t worry. They won’t say anything.” She pulled Jordan into a hug. “Let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long day and things will be fine in the morning.”

Jordan stared at the bed and then back at Drew.
Things will not be fine in the morning.
“I thought they would put us in different rooms.”

“Do you want to sleep in different rooms?” Drew’s voice had taken a sharp turn.

The feeling of panic was subsiding, but only a small amount. She looked around the room before finally focusing on the bed. She took a deep breath. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

“I promise. My parents wouldn’t have put both of us in here if it wasn’t. Besides, we’re too tired for anything but sleep. Aren’t your brother and his fiancé sleeping together? Your parents don’t seem to mind.”

“That’s just it. They’re not sleeping together because my parents would mind. Not until they’re married. Sandra’s parents are old-fashioned, anyway.”

Jordan couldn’t imagine sleeping with Drew under the same roof with her parents. How easily she had put away all the warnings and teachings of her parents. She looked around the room. It was so typically Drew. Functional.
What am I doing? What was I thinking coming here?

“Jordan, look at me.” Jordan slowly turned and looked at Drew. “Everything’s okay. Understand?”

Jordan nodded and kept telling herself that everything is okay as she changed and got ready for bed.

*

By the time Jordan came down for breakfast, most of the Hamilton family had eaten. She found a note from Drew’s mother saying her breakfast was in the oven. Jordan looked at the clock. It was seven thirty and no one was around. She felt both relief and concern.
Where could they be?

Jordan had just finished cleaning up after her breakfast when Drew rode up on horseback.

“What have you been doing?” Jordan asked. Drew was covered from head to toe with mud. “How did you get so dirty?”

“We had a couple of calves caught in the mud by the creek. We needed to get them out, and they weren’t very cooperative. They just needed to take about three steps and they would have been on rocky ground. Wanna kiss me?”

“Ewwww, no!”

Drew lifted her dirt-encrusted hands to grab Jordan’s face. “Just a little kiss. How about a hug?”

Jordan kept backing up until she ran into a chair. “You smell like—”

“Shit? Yeah, well, one of the calves got a little excited when I picked it up.” Drew kept getting closer until she was inches away. She quickly grabbed Jordan and rubbed her body against her. “Now you smell like me.” She grinned and kissed Jordan on the nose.

“This is the best outfit I had and the only jeans.” Jordan futilely tried wiping mud off her clothes. There were dark stains on her jeans, her light blue polo shirt, and even on her tennis shoes. She wondered if they would ever get clean.

Drew took her hand and pulled her upstairs. “We’re going to take a quick shower and then get you some proper Western clothes.”

In spite of her hesitancy to do anything in Drew’s house, the sight of Drew naked in the shower was too tempting. “This isn’t fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

Drew’s smirk was infuriating, but her hands running up and down Jordan’s body were causing electric spasms between her legs. She doubted she could resist much longer. “What if someone comes in?” Jordan’s voice was breathy. She was having trouble concentrating.

“I can assure you that no one will come in, especially when they see two piles of dirty clothes outside the door.” Drew picked up the liquid soap and poured it over Jordan’s breasts, neck, back, and buttocks. She then carefully rubbed the soapy areas until Jordan was gasping. She began to rinse Jordan’s body.

“Please, Drew. I need you to touch me.”

“I’m touching you. Trust me, I’m touching you.”

Jordan grabbed one of Drew’s hands and placed it between her legs. “I don’t need your smart mouth. Just your quick hand.”

Drew knelt and rubbed her face against Jordan’s stomach and kissed her way down. “Are you sure you don’t want my smart mouth?”

Jordan leaned against the wall, her eyes closed, her breathing shallow. She spread her legs and pushed Drew’s mouth against her center.

Drew sucked and licked Jordan’s clit. Jordan felt the first spasm of orgasm. Her legs nearly gave way until Drew stood and supported her with one arm. Drew’s mouth was on her breasts, sucking and nipping. Jordan was moaning and pleading. Drew finally entered her, moving deep and then slowly pulling out.

“I’m so close. I need you. Please.”

Already, Jordan’s muscles were tightening around Drew, causing her to quiver. Drew quickened her pace. Jordan’s breathing was now coming faster. She was too aroused to stop. Jordan felt the first rush of orgasm beginning. She leaned her head back, enjoying the feeling of Drew entering her. She was also aware of Drew rubbing against her. Every inch of her body was on fire. She pulled Drew close and rode the waves that had taken over.

Exhausted, she leaned against Drew, feeling the warm water flow around them. She couldn’t remember a time that she was happier.

“I love you, Jordan. I love you so much.”

Jordan pulled her tight, not wanting to break either the physical or emotional bond their lovemaking had created. Drew’s fingers inside her were strong. She reveled in the feeling as she felt the last remnant of a spasm.

“No, don’t move.” Jordan stopped Drew from withdrawing. “I just want to feel you for a few more seconds.” When Drew finally took her hand away, Jordan felt an ache that was almost impossible to describe. Drew made her complete in so many ways.

“I would love to take a nap, but my sister is determined to take you shopping.” Drew kissed Jordan’s ear. “And we need to get you some Wrangler’s if you are going to be a cowgirl. And some boots.”

“You certainly know how to ruin the mood.” Jordan finally had enough strength to stand on her own. She put shampoo on Drew’s hair. “Let’s clean you up, make you smell good, and then I’ll be ready to shop, but only if you are coming with us.”

“I’ll always come for you,” Drew said, a large grin accenting her words.

*

Jordan stood and stared at all the different shapes, sizes, and colors of hats. She had always thought cowboy hats were white or black. She looked at the one Drew was wearing. It was white, but she couldn’t determine what it was made of. She remembered seeing Drew wearing a black felt hat.

“Okay, how do I know which one?”

“Well, let’s figure out the right size first.” Once they knew what size, Drew explained to her the different shape brims and crowns. She picked up a pink straw hat. “Here is a nice girly one for you.”

Jordan just glared at her.

“Guess not.” Drew covered her mouth but not before Jordan heard her laughter. “Okay, let’s try this straw one. It’s cooler in the summer.”

“It’s like yours, except that thing around the crown is different. Yours is black and this one is shiny.”

“That way it will make it easier for me to find you during the day. I’ll be able to see you at least a half a mile away and avoid further injuries.”

“Well, in that case, I should get this bright blue one with a shiny thing. You would be able to see several miles.” Jordan put on the blue hat and marched up and down the aisle. “Shall I go outside and see if you can still see me?”

“Well, I’ll be damned, Andy,” Megan said, “she’s picking up your sense of humor. I like her.”

“I like her, too.” Drew walked over to give Jordan a hug.

Once she realized Drew’s intentions, Jordan walked up another aisle and put the hat back. “I think I’ll just take the white one. Can we go pick out boots now?” She was shocked that Drew might want to kiss her in such a public place.

*

Two hours later, Jordan was the proud owner of two pairs of jeans, twice as many Western shirts, a pair of boots, several pairs of boot socks, and her own hat. Shopping was something she ordinarily enjoyed, but Drew had barely said a word since the discussions around the hat. She answered direct questions, but there was no spontaneous conversation. The playful mood was gone.

Jordan didn’t have a chance to even find out what was bothering her until bedtime. Once they were back at the ranch, Drew carried the packages up to their room and then promptly excused herself, claiming she had some chores to do before dinner.

Jordan changed clothes and tried to find Drew. She was not in the house.

“If you’re looking for my daughter, she and her father left ten minutes ago to fix some fences. We’ll be bringing the cattle down for winter pasture in the next couple of months.”

“Oh.” Jordan couldn’t hide the disappointment. “Is there anything I can help with?” She needed to keep busy.

“You look different in that outfit,” Marcia Hamilton said. “Those jeans look great on you. You’ve got a good figure. Might as well show it off. I have no doubt my daughter is appreciative.”

Jordan’s face felt hot. This was never a topic that she could discuss with her mother.

“I’m sorry,” Drew’s mother said. “I’ve embarrassed you.” She started to hug Jordan, but stopped. “We’re a close family and we talk about anything. I sometimes forget not everyone is quite so open.”

“Mrs. Hamilton, it’s just that all of you are so different. Give me time. I’m trying.”

“Jordan, that’s okay. I just want you to know that, if you ever do want to talk about something, I am willing to listen and I don’t judge.”

“Thank you. I…it’s just that….I….” Jordan desperately searched for some way to express her own naiveté. Marcia Hamilton sat at the kitchen table and motioned for Jordan to sit. She sat quietly waiting.

Jordan’s own reserve was too ingrained. Discussing anything this personal was too difficult, even with her mother. She had no doubt her parents loved each other, but she couldn’t recall many affectionate moments between them. Maybe that was part of the reason the easy touching between her brother and his fiancé had such an impact on her.

“This is an uncomfortable situation for me.” Jordan waited to see if Drew’s mother would say anything. Instead, Drew’s mother sat with her head slightly tilted as if waiting for the next comment.

“I am well aware that my father is not a well-liked person in this house. Then I show up with Drew and we are….I mean, she is my…..” Jordan’s mouth was dry. Every word was cotton sticking in her throat. “We’re involved.” Now what do I say? “I do care about Drew.” That was probably the strongest statement she was capable of making in front of Drew’s mother. She took a deep breath and tried to keep from choking on her own cowardice.

“Jordan, when Drew first came out, she was confused and didn’t know what to do about what she was feeling. Except, she did know that she was gay. The issue with your father is a matter of politics. It doesn’t extend to you. I am well aware of the type of, uh, involvement with my daughter, and I have no doubt you love her. And that she loves you. I see it in the way you two look at each other. I see it in the way you talk to each other. This is probably a difficult time for you. You love your parents and you love my daughter. At some time, you may have to make a choice. I don’t want my daughter hurt.”

“Yes, ma’am, you’ve made that clear. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Then come help me get dinner ready. Drew and my husband will be back soon.”

Jordan had no problems figuring out what the decision was that Mrs. Hamilton was talking about. She still hadn’t decided how to even approach it. Drew was right about her mother. Hiding anything from Marcia Hamilton was impossible.

After she showered, Drew put on her underwear and a T-shirt and climbed into bed next to Jordan. The sheer fear in Jordan’s face when Drew started to kiss her on the cheek was unexpected.

“Jordan, what’s going on?”

“That’s what I was going to ask you. You seemed so distant after we were looking at the hats.”

“I thought that was what you wanted. The way you backed away from me in the store. You practically ran. Do you feel uncomfortable because I might touch you, or is it the fact that we are lovers? What are the ground rules, because I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t run.”

“You did! You were faster than a steer out of a roping chute.”

“I did not. I just wanted to get out of the hat.” Jordan squeezed back tears.

She was lying. Drew started to slip out of bed.