First Love (Love Nibbles Book 2) (2 page)

She lifted her chin and met Joe Langdon’s gaze. “Yes. I’ll wait here for you.”

Chapter Two

Rachael’s ice cream was already melting in the hot sun, dripping down the cone and flowing onto her fingers. She licked a circle all the way around trying to catch the drips. It tasted different from homemade, not as rich or creamy, but still sugary and good.

When she looked up, Joe was watching her with a strange expression, his own ice cream forgotten in his hand. “Good?”

She nodded and nibbled the crusty cone.

They sat on the grass in a small patch of shade, leaning against a tree trunk and facing the weed-choked vacant lot and the backs of the stores. She could see where the buildings actually ended and above that the false facades that fronted onto the street, there to make the buildings appear taller. People too sometimes presented false fronts to fool one another, pretending wisdom or piety or bravery they didn’t actually feel.

She considered that thought for a moment and when she glanced at Joe again, he had wolfed down his ice cream and was licking sticky fingers.

He grinned at her. “Messy. Should’ve got bottles of cola.” He wiped his hand on the side of his jeans then pulled a cigarette from a pack in his back pocket and lit up. He leaned back on his elbows in the grass, legs stretched out in front of him. “Your brother Daniel’s getting married in November?”

“Yes. His fiancée, Lida lives in Shipshewana.” She wished he would quit watching her while she ate. It made the cone stick in her throat.

“How does that work, dating long distance with only a horse and buggy to get back and forth?”

“Daniel sees her on the weekends. They promised to each another a long time ago, but he wanted to prepare a home for her.”

“He’s pretty young to get married. Only twenty-one. Same as me.”

She shrugged. “That’s not so young. He’s been working at a mill and has saved to buy land on Bolger Road. He plans to build his own house there.”

Daniel had walked around with her, marking the size of each room with his feet, eyes glowing as he described his future home in loving detail. It made Rachael jealous. How she’d love to have her very own place exactly how she wanted it. But then she realized it wasn’t the place but her
life
she wished she had control over.

She took another bite of cone and it crumbled forcing her to take big bites to keep the ice cream from melting everywhere. She quickly finished and wiped her mouth with the paper napkin, embarrassed at the spectacle she’d made of herself.

Joe blew out a stream of smoke through parted lips and continued to gaze at her until she squirmed. “And you? Are you dating someone?”

“No,” she answered shortly. She wished people would stop being so concerned about her marriage prospects. Her mother and all the women in the community put forth one young man after another. Cousins, brothers and friends were thrust at her at her, but none of them interested her.

Joe tapped ash off the cigarette and sucked on his lower lip. Rachael couldn’t look away from his mouth.

He sat up and rested his arms on his knees. “It’s hard to have a small group to choose from. I see the same girls I went to school with and I’ve known all my life. They could be my sisters I know them so well. There’s no…mystery. Maybe it’s just this town. I feel like I’m suffocating here.”

Yes!
She felt that way almost all the time lately. He’d voiced her feeling exactly and she wanted to tell him that. But she couldn’t share those secret feelings with him, a stranger, an English boy. Instead, she continued to scrub her fingers clean with the napkin.

The cigarette dangled forgotten between Joe’s fingers. “You know Daniel and I used to play together when we were kids. If we were working in our fields by the property line and no adults were around, we’d help each other finish up then sneak to the lake to swim or build forts in the woods. We were real friends for a while.”

Rachael never knew that. She’d believed her brother never did anything against the rules, but apparently she’d been taken in by his false front. “That doesn’t sound like Daniel.”

“Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think.”

“Maybe no one really knows anyone. Who sees what is inside you?” She blushed, snatched up a twig and poked it at the ground so she wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. What had possessed her to say that? She never expressed such thoughts with anyone.

Joe took his arms from around his knees and leaned forward to grind the tip of his cigarette in the dirt. “Exactly. I don’t think there’s a person in my family, maybe in my whole life who really knows me.”

“Our minister would say only God can know your heart. But God is too silent, and it can get lonely not having anyone to really talk with about the things you think or feel.”

“Yes.” Joe’s rangy body sprawled only a few feet away from her and now he shifted even closer. His eyes drilled into hers. Rachael felt a panicked need to jump up and run away, or else lean toward him.

“I think of leaving all the time, joining the army, finding a job in the city, going to college, living anyplace but here.” Joe spoke rapidly, gesturing with his hands. “But I don’t
do
anything. I don’t go anywhere. Day after day slips by. My dad needs my help on the farm too badly. I can’t just leave.”

Rachael nodded. Her life was an endless cycle of preparing meals, making beds, washing clothes, and farmyard chores that stretched before her to the end of her life. If she married, it would still be the same story.

“What do you wish you could do?” Joe’s gaze was so intent, he looked right into her soul.

“I would like to go to the library and pick out a dozen books on any subject that interests me and read them all. I would go to Chicago and see what really tall buildings look like. I wish I could listen to music on the radio and dance. I’d like to wear a pink dress with a lace collar. Sleep in late and let someone else tend the cows and chickens. Go see that moving picture show about the rebel without a cause.” The words tumbled from her mouth as if a dam had burst. There was no stopping them. She risked a glance at Joe.

He smiled. “You want to go to the movies? I’ll take you.”

“I can’t. It’s against...”

“The
Ordnung
, I know. Daniel explained your rules to me, but he also told me a lot of the kids break them before they officially join the church. At least you’re not Catholic and don’t have to worry about going to hell with every wrong move you make.” He laughed.

Rachael glanced at the sun and guessed the time. “I should go. My father will be waiting for me.” She stood up and brushed dirt and grass from the back of her skirt.

Joe scrambled to his feet. “I’m serious. I’ll take you to the movies. We can come late and sit in the balcony in the back.”

“I have to go.” Rachael walked toward the street.

He walked backward in front of her. “I’ll take you to the drive-in theater in Broadbow on Friday. You can say you’re going to a friend’s house or something. We’ll be in my pickup. No one will even see you.”

She shook her head and dropped her gaze to the path before her. “It’s not that easy to get away.”

“At least think about it.” He ducked his head trying to catch her eye. “I’ll stop by your house later in the week and you can give me your answer.”

“No!” She stopped walking and looked up. “No. You can’t!”

“I’ll sneak. Nobody will see me.” He grinned and his eyes crinkled at the corners.

She hurried past him and along the side of the pharmacy. “No. That’s impossible.”

“Why not? Are you afraid?” He walked beside her as they reached the sidewalk on Main Street. “Things worth having are worth taking a risk for.”

His arm brushed against hers, the warmth made the hairs rise on her bare arm.

“Please. You must go away before my father sees me talking to you.” She looked up the street.

It was too late. A block away, Datt stood staring at them. He strode purposefully toward them and stopped in front of them, pinning his fierce gaze on both of them. His beard twitched as his jaw tensed. “Rachael?”

“Sir, I was asking about Daniel’s wedding,” Joe said. “As a neighbor and friend, I hoped I might be invited. Daniel and I talked sometimes while we worked in the fields and I’m anxious to congratulate him.”

Rachael held her breath, praying there were no traces of ice cream on her face.

Her father stared intently at Joe for a moment then relaxed slightly. “You might stop by the wedding dinner.”

Joe nodded. “Great. Give Daniel my congratulations. Also, Dad and I’ll be haying soon. I wondered if you wanted to work together as usual?”

“Thank you. It would be much appreciated.”

They discussed how many bales the Langdons would take for use of their baler then Joe said goodbye and walked away in the opposite direction.

Datt watched him go then turned toward her. “You were speaking with that young man? You know it is
verboten
.”

“He asked me a question. I could hardly refuse to answer.” She headed quickly toward where the buggy was hitched. “We should hurry home. Mamm will be waiting for her needles and thread.”

Chapter Three

Lying in bed that night beside her little sister Mattie, Rachael stared at the ceiling and thought about Joe Langdon. He was probably in his bed staring up at his ceiling too, unless he was out drag racing with Harley.

Mattie gave a quiet whimper and rolled onto her side away from Rachael. She was such a sweet little girl with her long, brown curls and round baby cheeks. Rachael felt a rush of love. It was easy to love Matttie when she was asleep. The rest of the time the eight-year-old drove her crazy with her endless questions and whining.

Rachael closed her eyes and pictured Joe’s expressive face; angry when he confronted Harley, smiling as he teased Rachael, and earnest when he told her his hopes and dreams. She recalled every detail from his bright green eyes to his messy brown hair, the chiseled lines of his face, his wide chest and broad shoulders, and the way his long legs filled his blue jeans. His big hands moved to illustrate his words and now she dreamed of those hands touching her body.

Warmth trickled through her to settle between her legs. She squeezed her thighs tight and trapped her hands under her arms as she hugged her body. Wrong thoughts. Ungodly thoughts. But oh, her desire to know what it would be like if he kissed her was so strong she could dream of nothing else.

She breathed deeply and willed herself to sleep. Five o’clock and a new day of work would come all too soon. She needed to rest. But it was a long time before she could dispel Joe’s voice from her mind.

You want to go to the movies? I’ll take you.

*

“Rachael, where is your mind these days? I asked you to pick the potato bugs off the vines and they’re still teaming with them. After dinner you must get out there and do it. But right now gather some eggs for this cake. Then you can pick snap beans for dinner.”

Mamm pulled a mixing bowl from a shelf and opened the flour drawer as she listed Rachael’s chores.

Rachael wiped her sweating forehead on her sleeve and pulled the plug to drain the dishwater. “What about Mattie? She should help in the garden more. When I was her age, I was already—”

“Hurry, now. And don’t forget to bring in the rugs from airing sometime before evening.”

Where
was
her mind these days? Certainly not revolving around potato bugs and snap beans or bringing in the rugs. Most of the time she could concentrate only on what Joe might be doing just a few acres away from her. The rest of the time she planned dozens of ways to escape for one evening to go to the drive-in movie.

Swallowing her impatience and frustration, Rachael let the screen door slam behind her and crossed the yard to the chicken coop. It was pointless to get upset. Nothing in her life would change until she married and had a home of her own. Even then there would be eggs to gather, beans to pick and rugs to beat and air on the front porch railing.

She sighed.

The coop was a smelly sweatbox on this hot day. A couple of windows on either side of the building were propped open but little air flowed through them. Most of the chickens were in yard pecking at corn, but a few roosted on their nests. Rachael took the basket from the wall and reached under the clucking hens for the eggs.

A sharp rap on one of the window frames made her nearly drop the two eggs in her hand before they reached the basket.

Joe peered in one of the open windows on the side of the building away from the house. “Hi.”

Her legs turned to jelly as she set down her basket and hurried over to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting beside the barn. I knew you’d have to come out eventually. Told you I’d come by and see if you wanted to go to that movie.” He grinned and his eyes twinkled at her. “I’ll park down the road a ways and meet you behind the grain silo at about nine-thirty.”

“I share a room with my sister. I don’t see how I can get away.” Rachael stared at him through the open window, his flushed face and the damp T-shirt molded to his chest which sent a wave of desire rolling through her. She didn’t even consider the question of whether she
should
go. It was only the
how
that concerned her.