Flawed (Blaze of Glory #2) (15 page)

His hand closes over hers warmly, and I hear Stone’s low growl from my seat. I know from experience that Stone doesn’t like anyone touching his wife, platonic or not, but Bullet either doesn’t notice, or ignores the daggers that Stone is shooting him from his eyes. “Shannon,” he says warmly, “I’ve heard so much about you. I must say, you’re absolutely beautiful, nice going, man,” he says over her shoulder toward Stone, giving him an exaggerated wink. Stone stands up straight, his hands curling into fists at his side. I jump up before Stone can launch himself across the bar to throttle Bullet. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s destroyed Saddles over woman shit; that’s how he met his wife. “Stone,” I say, indicating with my head to the back of the bar. “Could you please give me a hand in the stock room for a minute?”

“I’m not leaving him alone with my wife,” he roars, pointing at Bullet who’s standing there looking mighty amused. I don’t know if the man is stupid, or intentionally goading Stone into a fight, but I don’t fancy finding out right now. Enough shit has gone down in this bar today; I can’t process it all as long as it keeps happening. “It’ll be fine,” I promise him, laying a comforting hand on his arm. “Shannon knows how to look after herself, don’t you, Shannon?”

“Of course,” she says, looking a little bit offended.

“You guys are making it sound like I’m going to rape her the second your backs are turned,” Bullet clips out, the smile no longer on his face as he sizes us both up. “Forget this shit man, I’m fucking out of here.” Grabbing his jacket, he marches out the door. A moment later I hear the roar of a bike engine as it springs to life, before it roars away. Stone continues to stand stock still in the middle of the bar, his arms tensed up as though ready to punch someone. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not an idiot. Something’s going on that neither of them is telling me. Leaving Shannon cleaning glasses in the bar, I drag Stone into the office and question him about it.

“Dude, what the hell is going on with the two of you?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Stone replies, unable to look me in the eye.
Liar.

“Don't give me that crap,” I snap. “I’ve already put up with enough today. What the fuck is going on?”

Stone sighs and finally looks at me. “You remember that night when the enemy found us in Afghanistan?” he asks, and I nod. It’s a night that will be etched into my memory for the rest of my life.  “Well, I think Bullet was the one who told them where to find us.”

“Bullet?” I exclaim, my mouth hanging wide open in shock. “Why the hell would Bullet betray us?”

Stone shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he admits. “But it looks bad. Why is he back in town?”

“He said he has business to take care of,” I reply. “I have no idea what business it is, he wouldn’t say.”

Stone gives me a funny look, but clearly decides to drop the matter for the moment. “Did Nat get off okay?” he asks, looking around for her.

“Yeah,” I say quietly, not really wanting to talk about what happened. I still haven’t decided if I’ll tell Stone and Shannon about Natalie’s baby and Troy. A part of me says to do exactly that and fuck the consequences, but the other side of me is telling me to just hang on, that somehow things will work out. But I don’t really see that happening any time soon.

“Hey,” Shannon calls as she practically bounces into the office with a grin and punches me lightly on the shoulder. “So, what’s the deal with you and my sister?”

I groan inwardly and turn to face her. Shannon has become like a sister to me, it’s nice to have this bond, since I have no real siblings. My mother died right after I met Liz, and I’ve never known my father. The deadbeat bastard has never bothered to even send his son a fucking card on his birthday. But then I joined the army, and I found myself with a whole new family: Stone, Bullet, and Hero have been like the brothers I never had. It’s not always been easy, but we’ve always been there to pull each other through. When Stone was given medical leave from the Army, I was sent home as well. I suspect they thought my mind wasn’t strong enough, given everything we’ve been through. If only they knew just how dark my mind is. When I moved to this small Texan town, I never suspected that I would meet someone like Shannon. She’s beautiful, and once upon a time, I believe I had feelings for her. But they were misconstrued feelings of a deep bond we share as friends. Shannon and I are close, always have been, and I’m glad she chose my other best friend, Stone. She came along right when he needed her. She doesn’t need me, not when I only have a week left to live. “Nothing,” I say out loud, but I can’t quite work up a convincing smile to go along with it. I can tell from the look on her face that she doesn’t believe me—shit,
I
don’t believe me, but what happened with Natalie was a mistake. A beautiful, fucked-up mistake. One that can never happen again. She was a distraction from what’s coming. I still have so much to do.

“Shan?” I look at her with a weak smile. “I need to take some time off, okay?”

“Time off?” she exclaims, her eyes wide. “Now? But we just got back.”

I nod. “I’m so sorry. If there was any other time I could do this, I would, but there’s not.”

“What are you talking about?” Stone asks. “What do you need to do?”

“It’s personal,” I apologize, making my way back into the office and grabbing my suitcase, tossing it onto the bed. Stone follows and stands there, leaning against the door with his arms folded, watching me as I throw things in to the suitcase. “So, where are you going?” he asks.

“New York,” I answer, not looking at him.

“New York,” he repeats hollowly. “Is this about Liz?”

My hands still for a fraction of a second.
Can he read my mind?
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say out loud.

“What are you hoping to find?”

“Nothing,” I snap, tired of his questions. “I’m not hoping to find anything, okay, Stone?”

“Then why are you going back?”

“Because I just am,” I explode, whirling around to face him. “Are you happy now?” I drop down to the bed and put my head in my hands. “I just need to be near her, you know?”

“I get it,” Stone nods, taking a seat on the mattress next to me. “I do. You lost someone really close to you, no one can be expected to just get over that.”

If only you knew.
“I just think that if I take some time out, re-visit those old memories, then maybe I’ll start to heal. I need this, Stone.”

“Okay,” he nods his head slowly as though deep in thought. “Okay,” he repeats, patting me comfortingly on the shoulder as he stands up. “You know we’re all here for you, right?”

I nod, unable to speak. He gives me a small smile that looks to be rather sad. “I’ll see you when you get back.”

Oh, Stone, if only you knew. I’m never coming back.
Swallowing hard, I rapidly blink back the tears threatening to fall from the corners of my eyes. I just said goodbye to my best friend, and he has no idea. Not for the first time since all of this began, I question whether or not I’m actually doing the right thing. Is suicide my only way out? I owe a debt, one that has to be paid, but at the expense of my own life? Is that really what Liz would want? I used to think so, but lately I haven’t been too sure about anything.

I quickly finish packing my suitcase and zip it up, leaving it by the office door before moving to take my seat at the desk. Opening the top drawer, I locate the letter I wrote two weeks ago and tuck it into the stack of employee contracts so that it will be found.

It’s time for me to be selfish and leave for the last time.

NATALIE

One week later . . .

As I climb out of the cab, I pull my sunglasses down on my head. After paying the driver, I clutch my ultrasound photos under my arm as I head up the steps and enter my apartment. It looks so bare now, with all of Luke’s things having been picked up while I was away. Leaning down, I collect the mail that was dropped through the slot in the front door while I was out, then walk through to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, kicking off my flip flops and putting the keys on the kitchen bench. My phone rings and I grab drop the letters on the bench, grabbing my phone out of my bag. “Hello?”

“What’s up, bitch? I heard you were back in town.”

I grin and lean against the bench as I hear Mel’s voice. Trust my best friend in the whole world to know just how to make me smile again. “Hey Mel, yeah I’m back.”

“So what happened?”

“Ugh, I don’t really want to talk about it,” I groan.

Mel laughs. “As if that’s going to stop me from prying. Come on girl, spill the details, I need some sexy gossip.”

My mind turns back to Keets and I shake my head. I can’t go into that right now. “No sexy gossip,” I tell her.  s

“You’re a fucking terrible lair, Natalie Harper,” she laughs, but thankfully drops the subject. “Well, while you were gone I had some pretty exciting news of my own.”

“Really? What is it?”

“You know that new club I tried to take you to before you ditched me to run back to your little hick ass town?”

“Right, eXtasy?”

“That’s the one. Well, it turns out that the owner needed a manager to help run it. So…”

“You’re kidding me?” I laugh. “You’ll drink the entire store room on your first night at work.”

“Shut up, cow,” she laughs. “But actually, I did get to hook up with a hottie while you were gone.”

“Really? Who was he? Someone I know?”

“I don’t think so babe,” she says casually. “He was just visiting from out of town for one night, so I doubt I’ll see him again. I didn’t even get his name.”

I laugh as I can practically hear her pout through the phone. “You’re such a hussy,” I tease.

“Oh girl you should’ve seen him, talk about
fi-ne.
Except for these ridiculous white glasses he never took off…” I tune her out as I move away from the bench and turn on the pot. Flicking through the mail tiredly, I stand up straight when one particular letter catches my eye. It’s the letter from Troy. My sister must have found it and forwarded it to me, not knowing what it was. I debate tossing it straight into the trash, but curiosity gets the better of me. “Listen, Mel? I have to go,” I cut off her incessant babble abruptly. “I’ll give you a call later.”

Hanging up, I finish making a cup of tea and walk to the living room. I put the cup on a coaster on the coffee table and sit on the oversized white couch, kicking my feet up. Picking up the envelope, I see it’s from a local lawyer.
“I’ll see you in court,” he’d said.
Turning it over, I rip it open and pull out the single sheet of white paper. Unfolding it, I quickly scan through the contents, my tea forgotten as I sit up straight, my eyes widening as I continue to read.

. . . Furthermore, Miss Harper shall be restricted to the county town in which she currently resides in Texas. Miss Harper is not to leave this area for any reason, without prior written approval from a judge.

Miss Harper is instructed to appear before the family magistrates court on the 11th day of September, for the custody hearing of the unborn child. Failure to appear may result in a decision made by the judge being granted in your absence…

The letter flutters to the ground and a wave of nausea sweeps over me. “Not my baby,” I whisper, clutching my rounding stomach. “God, please, no.” I just make it to the bathroom before I lose the contents of my lunch. After washing my face, I take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. I was wrong to keep this pregnancy a secret for so long. Now, karma has decided to bite me on the ass like the fucking bitch she is. Troy wants my baby, well it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I ever let him lay a hand on my child. It’s time to come clean to everyone, about everything…

It’s time for me to tell Shannon I’m having her ex’s child.

***

“You’re fucking
what
?” Shannon screeches at me, her mouth dropping open in shock. I sit numbly, forcing myself now to react to her anger. I knew she wouldn’t take the news well; I should have told her a long time ago.

“Shannon, you need to calm down,” Stone says, but I can see a dark fury simmering just below the surface in his eyes. 

“Calm down? Calm
down?
Are you fucking shitting me? She’s pregnant to my ex, Stone. The same ex that made my life a living hell for years.” She shakes his arm off when he tries to comfort her and crosses them over her chest.

“I’m sure your sister had a perfectly good reason for keeping this secret for so long.”

“She fucking better,” Shannon snaps, glaring at me, as though waiting for me to speak.

I clear my throat and open my mouth. “Look,” I begin gently, trying to calm everyone down. “I’m sorry, Shan, okay? I really am. I had no idea who Troy was when I met him.”

“How could you not know who he was? Are you fucking stupid?”

I flinch visibly at Shannon’s hate-filled words. She’s right, of course. I should have known who Troy was. I never should have let him touch me, let alone get me pregnant. “It was a mistake,” I whisper, tears slipping down my cheeks. “I was drinking, and-”