Flawed (Blaze of Glory #2) (13 page)

Sitting her on the edge of the bed, I dry her hair as best I can with the towel before laying her down and tucking the blankets up around her chin, not bothering to help her into fresh clothes. Making short work of pulling on a pair of boxers, I go around locking up and turning out all the lights. Returning to the office, I pause when I see her eyes closed in sleep. Something fiercely possessive wraps its fingers around my heart, thawing some of the ice inside. She looks so innocent, so peaceful. How can I begin to understand the turmoil she’s going through, to want to hurt herself the way she does? Slipping beneath the blanket, I think nothing of pulling Natalie close to me, wrapping my arms securely around her. She mumbles incoherently and snuggles up against me, and I bury my face in her still damp hair, inhaling her scent. This woman needs me, and for at least one night I make a silent vow to give her everything I can. Though the storm rages on outside, for the first time in years, all is quiet inside of me.

NATALIE

I wake up with an almost overwhelming pressure on top of me. I panic for a split second, until I realize it’s Keets’s arm draped around my midsection. Relaxing back against him, I take the opportunity to study his face. He looks so different when he’s asleep; younger, much more peaceful. The lines are relaxed, and he looks as though whatever demons haunt him during the day are absent at night. I watch as his eyelids flutter open, and a sleepy smile spreads across his face as he gathers me close. “Good morning beautiful,” he mumbles.

“Good morning yourself.” I smile, running my hands over the muscles on his arms.

“That was a stupid thing you did last night,” he says seriously, and I look up at his face to find him intently watching me. “Why were you outside in the middle of a storm?”

I shake my head and try to explain it to him. “I just needed time on my own. I didn’t know it was going to start raining that badly. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have gone out. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“Just don’t do it again,” he grumbles, and I can’t help but laugh as he buries his face between my neck and my shoulder, kissing it softly. I moan lightly and lean into his touch. “Natalie?” he whispers against my hair. “Why do you hurt yourself?”

“I—”

A loud bang from the bar area has us both jumping up, Keets immediately on alert. “Stay here,” he warns, grabbing a steel bat by the window as he moves silently toward the door. Glancing back at me as I sit terrified on the bed, he motions for me to stay quiet by placing his index finger against his lips. I nod breathlessly as he hoists the bat above his shoulder and reaches for the door handle…

“Keets!” Shannon squeals as she shoves the door open, narrowly missing him. She either doesn’t see the bat in his hands, or refuses to mention it for whatever reason.

“Shannon?” I say, staring at my sister as she bounces into the room and drops a bag on the ground. “Natalie!” She jumps onto the bed and leans over to hug me, but immediately shields her eyes and clears her throat.

Oh. Shit.

“Uhm, Nat? Honey?” she asks delicately through her hands. “Where are your clothes?”

I shriek in surprise and burrow under the blanket, desperately trying to ignore Keets’ amused chuckle. “Fuck. My. Life.”

“I’d say it’s already been fucked,” Stone’s booming laugh echoes around the room.

“Kill me, just kill me,” I fake cry, still hiding under the blanket.

“Nat come on, get dressed,” Shannon coaxes, grabbing the edge of the blanket and inching it down away from my face. I turn beet red when I see Stone standing there. “Get him out of here!” I screech, pulling the blanket back up over my head. “Out,” Shannon orders firmly. I wait until I hear the office door close before I sit up, tucking the blanket around my breasts as I lean over the side of the bed, grabbing my own bag and pulling out some fresh clothes. “I got wet,” I groan.

“I don’t need to know that,” Shannon exclaims with a laugh, slapping her hand back over her eyes to give me some privacy. I’m well aware Keets is still in the room, but he’s seen me naked and vulnerable, there’s no point in hiding from him now.

“Oh, my God. Shut up, bitch, you know what I meant.” I push the blanket back and pull on a pair of black shorts and a pink tank top before whipping my hair up into a high ponytail on the top of my head. “I’m decent now.”

“Thank God,” Shannon says, removing her hand from her eyes with a grin. “I love you, sis, but I really don’t need to know about your sex life. Yours, either,” she adds, looking over her shoulder at Keets.

“Hey, what’d I do?” he complains.

She shakes her head with amusement and turns back to me, the smile dropping from her face. “Where is he?” she asks, referring, I assume, to her stepson.

“At his friend’s,” I tell her, taking her hand comfortingly.

“No, not Zeke,” she corrects impatiently. “Troy.”

“Oh,” I reply a little uncomfortably. “I don’t know,” I finish honestly.

Her eyes narrow into tiny slits, and her voice takes on an almost demonic tone. “He won’t get away with this.”

“Shan, babe,” Stone says as he walks back into the office.

She rounds on him, her claws out and ready to attack. “Don’t you ‘Shan, babe’ me!” she yells. “It’s your damn fault he got out in the first place. If you’d just been able to control your fucking temper…”

“Shannon,” Keets cuts in, raising his hands in surrender when she turns her venomous gaze his way.  “None of us could have known this would happen,” he says, and I watch my older sister’s shoulders slump.

“I know,” she replies quietly. “But I hate it.”

“I’m so sorry, babe,” Stone comforts, going to his wife and holding her. “I had no idea that any of this would happen. You have to believe I would have done things differently had I known.”

I almost feel like a voyeur as I sit on the bed, watching my sister and her husband. The love they share is evident, almost palpable. It makes me yearn for a love of my own. My eyes drift over to Keets, widening when I see him starting unabashedly at me. The expression on his face sets me on edge and I look away, unable to maintain the eye contact with him.

“Are you okay?” Shannon asks me as she pulls away from her husband. “Did he hurt you in any way?”

I shake my head.
No, he didn’t hurt me. I just fucked him willingly in a moment of drunken lust.  Now, I’m pregnant with his kid.
Surprise!
“No, he didn’t hurt me,” I say out loud.

She nods slowly, seemingly satisfied with my answer. “Good,” she replies, gesturing to her husband to join us. “Nat, I’d like you to meet my husband, Staff Sergeant Ethan Stone. Stone? This is my baby sister, Natalie.”

“Pleased to meet you,” he says in a low voice, engulfing my hand with his own. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Ditto.” I smile weakly, removing my hand from his and wrapping my arms around my waist. I feel so out of place right now. These are my sister’s people, her friends and family. The only person I’ve really connected with in the room besides Shannon is Keets, and things there are rocky to say the least. “Where’s Zeke?” Shannon asks, looking around the office as though she expects him to pop out at any moment, clearly forgetting I’ve already answered her question.

“He’s staying with a friend,” Keets says, looking at me a little strangely. I immediately check for a large pimple on my face, or a clothing tag hanging out.
Why is he looking at me like that?

Clearing my throat, I indicate toward the door. “I’m just going to go and put those glasses in the dishwasher,” I mumble, hurrying out of the office.

After I finish loading the dishwasher, I step out the back and tilt my face up to the sky. It’s still pouring, and it takes just a second for my hair to become plastered to my head. I feel as though I’m stuck in limbo; part of me wants to stay, but the other part wants to run for the hills and never look back. I thought I could handle this, but I really can’t. How the hell am I going to tell my sister that I’m pregnant with her abusive ex’s child? Would it really matter that I didn’t know who he was? Would it really matter if I was so drunk I could barely even remember my own name?

Somehow, I don’t think any of that would make a difference. A betrayal is a betrayal and, sister or not, I doubt even the good-hearted Shannon could see fit to forgive me for what I have done to our family. There’s no way I’m going to be able to keep it a secret from her, especially now that Troy is out of prison and knows exactly who I am. What does he even want? My hands clasp protectively over my stomach as a horrible thought occurs to me.
What if he’s after my child? Our child?
The thought makes me sick to my stomach, and is enough to make me double over in physical pain. I groan out loud, hot tears brimming in my eyes.
I can’t do this…

A warm, gentle hand on my back startles me, and I jump backward, my eyes wide. “Whoa, slow down there beautiful.” Keets chuckles. “I just wanted to come out here and check to see if you were okay.”

“Oh.” I laugh breathlessly. “Sure, I’m okay. What’s going on?”

“Shannon and Stone went home to see Zeke. They’re going to take over Saddles again tonight, so you’re officially off duty and free to leave.” He smiles.

The smile fades from my own face as his words register in my mind. Leave? “I-is that what you want?” I stammer, watching him carefully.

“It’s what you want, isn’t it?” he asks, and I nod.

“Of course.” I smile again, patting his shoulder in a friendly gesture. “I guess I’ll start packing then.” I turn and start walking inside.

“Natalie, wait,” he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me back toward and against his chest. I try to look up at him, but the pouring rain makes it almost impossible.

Then he kisses me.

This kiss is different from any he’s given me before. It’s almost… desperate. His tongue pushes past my lips and invades my mouth, and I love it. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I strain toward him, trying to get closer with every movement from our tongues. I recognize this kiss for what it is. This is goodbye.

A few seconds later, I gently push myself away, cupping his cheek in my hand. “Take care of yourself, Keets,” I tell him with a smile.

Turning, I walk back inside and quickly pack my bags, fighting back my tears the whole time. What was I expecting, for him to race in and stop me? Tell me he loves me?
Get it together, Nat,
I scold myself.
This is for the best.
How could I expect my sister’s best friend to want someone like me? I cut myself, I slept with my father’s murderer and sister’s abusive ex and I’m pregnant as a result.

I’m flawed. Unwanted by everyone. No, the best thing for me is to just leave now, before I start to show too much, and never look back.

Taking my bags out to the main bar area, I’m kind of surprised that Keets still hasn’t come back inside. Maybe he’s so happy to be rid of me that he no longer needs to put on the pretense. Now that I’m leaving, he doesn’t need to see or speak to me again.

Maybe I can put the baby up for adoption when it’s born,
I think to myself as I grab the bar phone to call a cab.
Maybe no one ever has to know. Maybe…

Suddenly, the bar door opens. I spin around, still clutching the phone, and freeze. “Well, well,” Troy drawls, stepping inside and crossing his arms over his chest as he stares at my bags. “Going somewhere, Natalie?”

“Stay back,” I warn, holding the phone out like a weapon. “I’m warning you.”

“You’re warning me?” Troy repeats with a laugh. “With what, a phone? You can’t really be that dense.” He shakes his head in mock amusement as he steps forward, a menacing smile fixed on his handsome face. “I just stopped by to give you this.” He pulls a white envelope out of his blazer pocket and places it on the bar, backing away with his hands raised in surrender. “I’ll see you in court.” He laughs, exiting the bar and slamming the door closed behind him.

I give a loud sigh and slump against the bar, dropping the phone. “What the hell was that about?” an icy voice behind me demands. I turn slowly, my heart sinking when I see Keets standing there, still drenched from the rain. He’s never looked so sexy… or so angry.

“Keets,” I plaster on a fake smile, trying to play it cool.
How much did he hear?
“I was just about to call a cab.”

“I’ll bet,” he sneers, walking slowly toward me. All trace of the passion he shared with me earlier is gone, replaced by a mask of pure hatred. “Tell me, Natalie,” he says, stopping right in front of me. “How do you know Troy?”

“Wh-what are you talking about?” I stammer, still desperately trying to play dumb.

He scoffs and raises his eyebrows at me. “Really, Nat?” he asks, reaching out and stroking my cheek lightly with a lone finger. I shiver involuntarily and he smiles. “You want to play this game? Shall we call your sister and ask her how you know Troy?” He turns and picks up the phone.

“No!” I shriek as I lunge for it, but he holds it up high, easily out of my reach.

“Right,” he says, his smile gone. “You’re going to sit down and start at the beginning. And if I think you’re leaving anything out, I will call Shannon.”