Flirting With Chaos (4 page)

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You shouldn’t.” I shoved past him. “I’m fine, Kaden.”

“Are you sure?”

“Dad killed himself five years ago. I’ve moved on.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“I’m at peace.”

“Sure.” He dug his hands into his jeans.

“I barely even go to his grave.”

“Interesting.”

“What?”

“When was the last time you went to his grave?” he asked.

“It’s been years.”

He gave me another skeptical look. “Then who leaves the slices of birthday cake?”

“Beats me.” I averted my eyes.

“And the ‘Happy Birthday, Daddy’ card?”

I tapped my foot. “I may have done that once or twice.”

“You never miss a birthday.”

I left him there in the hallway. “Okay. You’ve got me. I visit his grave several times during the year. It’s no big deal.”

“He hates chocolate, by the way,” Kaden called back.

“Liar. He loves chocolate.”

“He hated it and only ate it because it’s your favorite. Your only saving grace for subjecting his grave to chocolate is that the cake always tastes so goddamn good.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you eating his slices?”

“Just a few bites.”

“Disgusting and wrong in so many ways.”

What type of person eats food off of a grave?

“You have good taste in desserts, and I’m sitting there on the ground for a while talking to him. I tend to get a little hungry with it sitting there and taunting me.” He followed me back into the kitchen and poured me another glass of wine.

“On Sunday, I’ll leave two slices.”

“So, then you’ll be there?”

“Of course. It’s our birthday. I always celebrate with him, as you’ve rudely pointed out.”

“And does your grandma know?”

I leaned my head to the side. “Does it matter? She lives out of the country.”

“Just a question. I’m wondering if she’s finally forgiven your dad.”

“No, she doesn’t know, and I doubt she’ll ever forgive him.” I seized my second glass of much-needed wine and drank it until it was half gone. Grandma never said I couldn’t go to Dad’s grave, but she never motivated me to do it either. I couldn’t speak his name around her. She hadn’t even buried his body anywhere near the rest of the family.

You don’t like that, do you, Mom.

“Why do you think Jack did it?” Kaden interrupted my thoughts.

Only Kaden would ask me that. No one else would dare. Others had too much tact and discretion.

“I don’t know why.” My voice sounded low.

“That week we’d been hanging out, and I never got the impression he would go crazy like that. I just never…It just blows my mind, man.”

I clamped up inside and gulped more wine. I barely drank alcohol and hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast this morning. Already, I felt a little light-headed.

“You don’t want to talk about this?” he asked.

“No. It’s still fresh in my mind after all these years.” I finished the glass. “I’d rather not.”

“I’m sorry, then.” He slapped his forehead. “Of course you wouldn’t. Forget I even brought it all up.”

“I will.”

He watched me set the empty glass on the table. “You’re drinking that Pinot pretty fast.”

“I like wine, Uncle Kaden.” I gave him an air kiss and hopped back on the stool. My breasts jiggled in my top. The bottom of my dress rose on my thighs. I yanked it back down.

“Hmm.” He let his gaze travel over me. “You’re right. I’m not your uncle.”

“Oh, you just realized that?” I stuck my tongue out. “And what made you decide?”

“Uncles don’t have the thoughts I just had.” He put his back to me. Some mumbled words left his mouth as he stirred the mushrooms and lowered the heat. “Are those your girly things in the guest room next to Jude’s bedroom?”

“Girly things?” I asked.

“Fruity lotion, brushes, buckets of gel.”

Buckets? He’s such an exaggerator.

“Yes. That stuff is mine.”

“You keep some extra clothes in there?”

Where’s this going?

“Yes.”

“Please, for God’s sake, put something else on.”

“Change my clothes? Seriously?” I placed my hand on my hips.

“Yes. It would make things easier for me. I am a dirty old man, after all.”

I laughed and jumped off of the stool. “I did read your biography, so I won’t argue with the dirty part, but I definitely don’t think you’re an old man. I don’t think forty-one is old.”

“Compliments like that are only going to get you everywhere.”

“I’m serious. You’re still hot.”

He peeked at me as I walked by him. “Me being hot is an off limits topic for you, Rainbow.”

“Okay, Old Uncle Kaden.” I saluted him.

He swatted my behind. It stung and delivered pleasurable shivers all at the same time.
Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.
I rubbed the area. He watched my hand as it moved up and down and around the curve of my behind.

He licked his lips.

Warmth rose within me.

Our eyes met. An uncomfortable silence bridged between us as his face transformed from lust to shock within seconds.

He went back to the stove. “Go change.”

I knew I should have fled right there and hurried upstairs. Maybe it was the wine or the horniness that had been bubbling in me all day as I’d considered Jude taking my virginity. Perhaps it was the instances of what I had imagined Kaden doing to me as I’d masturbated. Possibly it was all those things mixed with the fire in his eyes when he stared at me with such desire. Or in the end, maybe I just liked to do bad things sometimes.

Either way, I stayed right there. “Any requests?”

“What?” He averted his eyes when he faced me.

“What do you want me to wear?”

“Clothes.”

“Do bikinis count?” I flirted.

He shook his head and disappeared to the fridge. “Jeans and a shirt, Rainbow.”

“Bra or no bra?”

He groaned and stuck his head into the freezer as if to cool him off. “You come down here without a bra, and you won’t be a virgin any longer. Meanwhile, Jack will turn in his grave and return to the world to haunt me. You know, when Jack married your mom, he got real involved in Jamaican culture. He used to call ghosts duppies. Said it was what Jamaicans called it. Would you like your dad to come back as a duppy?”

“No.” I gritted my teeth at the mention of Dad and duppies. My legs wobbled a little as if I was going to pass out.

“Are you a duppy, Rainbow?” Dad woke me up with a gun pointed to my head.

“No, Daddy.”

“Rainbow, are you okay?” Kaden appeared in front of me and tapped my shoulder. “You look scared.”

I backed away from his touch. My stomach tightened into painful knots. “I’m fine.”

“Go put on something big, baggy, and preferably unattractive looking.”

I twisted around and did my best to get ahold of myself. “Yes, Uncle Kaden.”

“You’re killing me, Rainbow.”

Chapter 3

Friendly Touching

“M
UCH
B
ETTER
O
UTFIT
.” Kaden set the plate full of food in front of me as I sat down, wearing blue jeans and an Oscar the Grouch T-shirt. “Now I’m not forced to not stare at all of the things I should not be staring at.”

“Awkward.”

“Exactly.” He sat down in front of me with his own plate. “So, back to your virginity.”

“Are you insane?” I sliced a piece of steak off. “I thought we agreed my virginity existed in the realm of things we shouldn’t discuss.”

“I just want to stress that my son may not be the person you should choose to lose your virginity to.”

“Oh.” I chewed on the steak and savored the sauce Kaden must have slathered on while he’d cooked it. “Do you have someone else in mind?”

“What? No. I’m just thinking that your first time should be with someone you love.”

“I love Jude.”

“Not the way you should when you’re giving away something so precious. Jude loves you, but not the way a man loves a woman, or am I wrong about this?”

“You’re not.”

“So, why would you give it to him?”

Heat flushed on my cheeks. I was sure my face held a red tint. This was not the topic I wanted to talk to anyone about, but especially not Kaden, my dad’s best friend and my virginity-taker-to-be’s father. Plus, the whole talking of sex thing filled the air with that odd energy between us. He still wore no shirt and continued to drip with gorgeousness. Each time I took a tiny peek at his smooth skin, caught a bit of that exotic tattoo art on his arms, or spied the lush curve of his full lips, I experienced a thrill between my thighs and disgust within my mind.

What’s wrong with me?

“Just wait for the right guy,” Kaden said.

“Okay.”

“You’re not going to wait, are you?”

“No.”

“Rainbow, you’re sweet and innocent.”

Laughter burst from my mouth. “Kaden, there is nothing sweet or innocent about me. I hang with Jude, for God’s sake. I’m not Snow Fucking White. Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I’m some prissy little innocent girl.”

Before Dad had died, I’d done other things with many guys—kissing, touching, sucking, fingering, blow jobs—everything but actual penetration. Once Dad died, things changed. When I kissed or made out with a guy, sometimes I vomited afterward and sometimes I didn’t. I never figured out why certain guys triggered my body into sickness, while others only made my stomach rumble. Either way, it hadn’t taken long for news to spread around school that weirdo Rain tended to barf on guys’ shoes after making out. My list of suitors had transformed from full to nonexistent in one week. The only reason people continued to say hi to me was because Jude hung around me, and everyone hoped to be in his favor.

“Well, you must’ve had a reason to save your virginity,” Kaden offered. “Why give it up now? You might as well wait for the right guy.”

I stuck my fork into another piece of steak and swirled it around the plate, making circles and zigzag lines. “I just don’t feel like waiting anymore. I understand what you’re saying, but I’m freaking almost twenty-one and curious.”

“Of course you’re curious.”

And horny.

He cut into his own steak. “I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t rush into it.”

“Again, I’m twenty-one in two days. Clearly, I don’t rush into things.”

“Yet you’re acting desperate. You came here with lube and condoms.”

“Ouch. You’re saying I’m desperate.” I accidentally dropped my fork on the table. It hit the wood with a bang. “Thanks a lot. Wouldn’t desperate be standing on the corner with a huge sign, yelling out to anybody that walks by, ‘I’ll give you a hundred dollars if you destroy my hymen’?”

Kaden hadn’t seen me in five years and already thought he understood me in an hour or so of actions and conversation.
Ridiculous.
I huffed, got my fork, and punctured the meat in front of me hard.

He raised his hands in surrender. “Okay. You don’t rush.”

Stomping sounded from outside. I figured it was Jude running down the stairs. He never could stroll or tiptoe. Every step he made pounded or slammed against a surface, as if he craved to imprint himself into the earth for people thousands of years in the future to see.

“Dad, we should probably call the venue and make sure everything is going good for tonight.” Jude skipped in there without looking our way and headed straight to the stove to dip his finger in the pan, putting his back to us. A massive tattoo decorated his entire back. A huge red and orange dragon hissed fire at a knight wielding a long sword. The tip of the weapon was barely an inch from the dragon’s neck, telling the viewer that the dragon would be slain in no time.

“This is delicious,” Jude said. “The steaks are done already? Where’s mine?”

“I gave it to Rainbow.”

Jude turned our way. “Rain? You’re still here.”

“Your dad forced me to stay.”

“I wouldn’t say forced.” Kaden took a sip of wine.

I waved him away. “He ran around the house and guarded the front door so when I walked outside to leave, he was right there to shove me back in.”

“Really?” Jude licked his fingers as he journeyed over to me. His jeans hung low, revealing chiseled cuts of muscle. He didn’t possess the thick muscular body his father boasted, but women swooned around him just the same. He tapped my shoulder. “Up, please. I never gave you a proper homecoming welcome.”