Floods 8 (13 page)

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Don't try this at home. Lightning is NOT your friend. I once knew a lady who had been hit twice by lighting. Once, when she was inside her kitchen washing up, the lightning came through the window and hit the stainless steel sink she was leaning against. She got really bad burns across her tummy. What do we learn from this? Buy a dishwasher. This is a true story. The second time she was hit, she was sheltering from the rain under the only tree in the middle of a huge empty field. What do we learn from this? The famous statement, ‘Lightning never strikes in the same place twice', is rubbish.

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See
The Floods 7: Top Gear.

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Except for a very, very old chicken called Ethel, who had tripped over a leaf and broken the only egg she had managed to produce in the past month, and the three exiles on Rockall, who sat and watched the sunset as they sucked a pebble because they had no glasses to drink out of and nothing to put in a glass anyway except their own dribble. They only had one pebble too, so each night there was an argument over who got to suck it first.