Flowers in the Blood (38 page)

I gave her a kick to silence her. She winced, but took heed.

My father was speaking to him. “Your mother and I have come to an understanding. The only thing you have to do is make your choice.”

Make your choice?
That was an odd way of asking him if he wanted to consider marrying me or not.

“What do you mean?” Edwin replied. His head was lowered as though he were watching his step. I saw a delicate pink tinge at the nape of his neck, then that gesture again: the fingers slicing through the hair, with every strand falling into place like obedient slaves. He was not ten feet away from where I was sitting. He did not look up at the veranda, but had turned three-quarters of the way around to face my father.

My inner tabla again threatened to drown out the voices. I felt as though I was pushing walls of water away from me as I fought to hear my father's muffled words. “In good faith you have come a long way, so your mother and I have agreed to permit you to choose between either of my eligible daughters. Dinah is the elder of the two and Ruby is the younger one. They are very different young women, but either would make you a fine wife.”

Either! Was this his response to the problem about Ruby? Was he going to marry her off to
my
Edwin, to that glorious man, who at first sight seemed as unpretentious and candid as Silas had been refined and impenetrable? The invisible flood rose up and threatened to crash on me as I leaned back away from the railing without a thought for how my recoiling might appear. As if responding to a very different set of phenomena, Ruby leaned forward and waved.

How free and young and pretty she looked! How much smaller and more pliable she would seem! There were no Silas, no Luna, no difficulties in her past. How long would it take before Edwin realized how hopelessly slow she was? Or would he even care? Men liked women who did their bidding without question. What must I have looked like at that moment? Certainly I was pale, frightened, and shaking from the shock of my father's betrayal. Even more discouraging, I was dressed like Ruby's mother instead of her sister. I could not look at him to see how he was reacting to Ruby's insouciant glee. It was all I could do to sit upright and go on breathing through the next hideous minutes.

“Yes, that's my little Ruby on the right.” I imagined that Edwin's eyes had riveted on her moist cleavage. “And Dinah on the left.”

I kept my eyes down at my book until a force from somewhere outside my body seemed to be lifting my head up and shifting it to the side. For one long, impetuous second I met Edwin's upturned gaze. The intensity of his profoundly confused expression caused my left eye to twitch. I turned away abruptly.

When I again pivoted around, Edwin had vanished.

25

 

Z
ilpah was by my side, holding my hand. I was oblivious to anything more than her presence. If she spoke, I did not hear her. The crashing of cymbals, the deeper clatter of the
pakhawaj
drum, joined my insistent tabla.

The music diminished, as though a procession had moved off into the distance. Zilpah spoke close to my ear. “Dinah, he wants only you. Mr. Salem spoke to your father. He said: I choose Dinah.' “

I stared into her coal-black eyes, desperate for them to be clear and true. She could not meet my gaze. “What else?” I dared.

“His mother did have the last word. 'Mr. Sassoon is being most generous,' she said. 'He has told me about the two fine young women. We will return to our lodgings and talk this over together.' “

“Then it is not decided.”

“As a mother, I can understand her reluctance to stand by her son's hasty remark.”

“Why did Papa do it?” I cried in anguish. “Why did he mention Ruby when the man was supposed to be for me?”

Zilpah shook her head. “I don't know what Benu was doing. He never mentioned it to me beforehand. I am afraid he made the decision on the spot. You know how concerned we all have been about Ruby lately. Her own grandmother was encouraging us to marry her off in the next few years, and of course, even if we found a match tomorrow, I would never permit her to leave this house until she was thirteen or fourteen.”

“Why would Mr. Salem want her?”

Our glances met again, but this time I looked away first. “Apparently Edwin's mother voiced concerns over your marriage to Silas. You must admit, Dinah, the story does not tell very well. She was finding it difficult to believe in your . . . your purity, and hinted that she thought it a pity you did not try to work out your difficulties awhile longer.

Because your father thought Edwin looked like a most promising young man and because he did not wish to lose him entirely—and since the mother's interest in you seemed to be waning—I suspect he decided to add Ruby to the bargain.”

“Did Papa inform Mrs. Salem about Ruby's faults?”

“Certainly. Your father and I have seen enough of the pain that deception can inflict. Benu explained that Ruby has not progressed rapidly in school.”

“That is putting her in the most favorable light.”

“He did not prevaricate, Dinah. He went on to explain more about her weaknesses in arithmetic and reading.”

“And what did Mrs. Salem reply?”

“That did not change her mind. Even I must admit that Ruby did look like a luscious fruit ripe for plucking. Did you see her smiling and waving? From that distance she looked like a merry little addition to any household, as well as much older than she truly is. When Mrs. Salem saw Ruby, she said, 'I can teach her to be a proper wife and—' “

“What else?” I demanded.

“—and she said something about it being a man's job to train a wife to his tastes in other matters.”

“Edwin doesn't want her!” My voice rose to a squeaky pitch. “That's what he said, isn't it?”

“As I explained, Dinah, his mother tried to dissuade him, at least from committing himself today. Even so, the boy might have his way. He replied to his mother forcefully, as though nobody else had been standing beside them, and said: 'If I take the younger sister, I will hurt the elder sister's feelings.' “

I could imagine Edwin's hand raking his hair back from his brow to the nape of his neck and his deep-set eyes narrowing as he stood up to his mother. I would have preferred his declaration for me to have included something about how much more intelligent and beautiful I was, but at least he was a man who could make an honorable choice. “What did she say to that?”

“Nothing.”

“And Papa?”

“If you could have seen the sour expression on the mother's face, you would understand that at that moment Benu could not consider the boy's word alone. What your father said was that he would look forward to hearing from them both when they returned for dinner tomorrow.”

“So, as I said before, nothing is decided.”

“I believe the boy has made up his mind.”

“His mother might influence him.”

Zilpah was shaking her head. “No, not that man. He's a stubborn one. Actually, in many ways he seems to be very much like you.” She laughed without hostility.

“Maybe Mrs. Salem will not want either of the Sassoon girls. What then?”

“Now, Dinah, don't let your emotions transport you from reality. I agree with you, Mr. Salem is charming, and I can see from your response you liked him very much—at least at first sight. Remember, that is all it was. You have not exchanged a single word with the boy. As I recall, you were infuriated because you and Silas barely knew each other. Now it seems you are ready to rush into this stranger's arms.”

I bowed my head. Zilpah was right, but for some crazed reason I did not care if we ever spoke. If they had ordered me to stand under the huppah and pledge my life to Edwin Salem that very evening, I would have rushed down the aisle without a second thought. Never in my life had I ever wanted anything more ardently.

Zilpah patted my shoulder. “I can understand why you feel desperate to have him. Everyone wants you married off happily, and you have not had many opportunities. This one seems to meet your standards—your physical standards, anyway. Nevertheless, if the Salems change their minds about you so early in the discussions, it will be for the best.”

“No, please, Zilpah, please don't let that happen!” I clutched at her sari so roughly the draping fell away from her body.

“Dinah, I have never seen you like this! What has come over you?”

I scanned the ceiling as though the filigree decorations would provide an answer. “Didn't you ever feel this way? When you met your first husband . . . or Benu?”

Her face took on a soft glow. “Yes, Dinah, I know the sensation. Perhaps I felt it when I first saw Benu having dinner at our boarding-house. It can be frightening, overpowering, and wonderful if everything works out. Or, if it doesn't—and this is what frightens me for you, because so often in life our hearts' desires are thwarted—the pain can be dreadful.” Suddenly she was sobbing. I watched, amazed, for I had never seen her cry. The twists of her serene face, the puffiness around the mouth that pursed but did not smile, the utter disruption of her tranquil demeanor astonished me. “I don't know what came over me. Your father must have shocked me as much as he shocked you.” She refolded and tucked in her sari, and as she did so, she looked at me in bewilderment.

“Please, Zilpah, just do what you can for me.”

“I might have some influence over your father, but I doubt that Mrs. Salem would listen to me. In any case, I will speak with him tonight and with her tomorrow.”

“I promise that Papa and you—and Edwin—will never regret this.”

The next morning I heard that Ruby was moping in her room. Selima was running back and forth trying to encourage her to eat. Zilpah paid a brief call and left in disgust. I managed to dress and be downstairs for breakfast because I did not want my father to think I was behaving childishly.

“I won't be joining you today,” Papa said in a rush. “I am already late for an appointment. I am looking forward to our dinner this evening.” He gave Zilpah a pat on the shoulders, indicating that she should not stand to see him out. “Now you ladies can spend the entire day making preparations without worrying about me.”

After a second cup of tea, Zilpah cleared her throat. “I have decided we should not overwhelm the Salems tonight. It might be preferable if only Pinhas and Jonah ate with us and then Asher and Simon joined us later in the hall.”

“What about the girls?”

“Considering the events of yesterday, I think it would be more diplomatic to keep Ruby in the background.” As she studied my reaction, I tried not to show my satisfaction at my sister's exclusion. “Besides, Ruby is not on her best behavior. I will personally supervise what they both wear and allow them to come down for a brief hello for, say, a half-hour toward the end of the evening.”

I grinned with relief. “Which do you think I should wear: the pearly silk or the pleated mauve?”

“They are both lovely, but—” Just then an agitated Abdul came into the room carrying a silver tray and handed Zilpah a note. “What's this?” she cried, puzzled that the post had been delivered so early.

“From the lady who was here yesterday, memsahib.”

My heart plummeted. The Salems were canceling their plans to return tonight. They had rejected us both.

“Who brought this?” Zilpah said with alarm as she read the words that I could not see.

“The memsahib and her son.”

“Are they waiting in their gharry now?” Zilpah added excitedly.

“Yes, memsahib.”

“Dinah, this is most extraordinary. Mr. Salem requests a meeting with you this morning. I presume he means immediately, since he is sitting in front of the house this very instant.” She looked me over. My skirt was ordinary white linen with no decoration save a few piped gores and my chemise was a practical one with simple tucks down the front.

I looked behind me and realized I had forgotten the jacket that had tight wrists with rosettes on the sleeves and on the closures. “My jacket is upstairs,” I said nervously, and patted my hair.

“You look fine, my dear. It is wise for a man to see a woman as she might appear at breakfast instead of wrapped and packaged as a gift.” She clapped her hands. “Have Yali bring Miss Dinah's jacket from her room,” she said to the ayah, who was passing. “And, Abdul, we will require pastries and tea for four. Set the table for Miss Dinah and her guest on the terrace and for me and Mrs. Salem in the small parlor.”

“Won't we be together?”

“No. Yali will sit on the far end of the terrace and work on some mending or whatever, and I will take this opportunity to speak with Mrs. Salem alone.”

I felt trapped in a crosscurrent of conflicting emotions. “What if he has come to give me the unhappy news himself?”

“Dinah, he probably wants a chance to meet you. If they were rejecting you, his mother would convey her regrets to your parents. Or if he wanted to be a perfect gentleman, he would speak directly—”

I cut her off. “What if you are wrong?”

Yali came rushing in. She handed me my jacket and went to work pinning my hair more tidily. Annoyed by her fluttering, I pushed her aside and primped in front of the sideboard mirror.

Zilpah started for the door. “We can't leave them in the carriage any longer. Yali, go sit on the terrace with Dinah. Dinah, you may take him for a walk in the gardens if you like, but do not come inside the house until we come out or send Abdul to fetch you.”

 

Zilpah was alone when she brought Edwin to me. She must have asked Mrs. Salem to wait in the parlor. I stood on trembling legs.

“Mr. Salem, I would like you to meet my stepdaughter, Dinah Sassoon. Dinah, this is Mr. Edwin Salem of Cochin. I believe you two would prefer to talk in private.” As she backed away swiftly, I focused on the silk fringe of her sari as she closed the glass door and left us to ourselves.

“Miss Sassoon, you are so kind to have agreed to see me. My mother tried to deter me, but I could not wait until this evening. I had to see you again immediately. If this offends you, please understand that I meant the opposite, to honor you.”

His voice! I had heard it from a distance yesterday, but here under the wooden eaves of the terrace it took on a resonance that vibrated my bones. In the beats before I could respond, I saw his hand reach up and brush back his hair, not as forcefully as the day before, but more gently, only moving the fringe that drooped near his exquisitely tangled eyebrows. My knees felt so weak I had to sit down. I prayed that my momentary silence, my gesture for him to be seated, and the few seconds I took to rearrange my skirt looked like the graceful movements of a self-assured woman in command instead of a girl clutched by a desire to throw herself into his arms.

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Salem. In doing so you have saved me the terrors of an endless day.” I gulped at my forthright words, but did not regret them.

“My thoughts exactly,” Edwin boomed. “Why do parents want to draw everything out?”

“Because they have nothing else to do. It fills up the time they are yearning to waste.”

“You do not like to waste time, do you?”

“No, Mr. Salem, I abhor it . . . and most other frivolous endeavors,” I went on effortlessly.

“Could you call me Edwin—perhaps not if Mother is around, but now that we are alone?”

“Oh, yes, Edwin, I would like that. If you will call me Dinah.”

“I hoped you would say that, Dinah. I do so love doing what I am told I must not do.” He winked conspiratorially and shifted until his back was entirely turned from Yali. I swiveled about as well so we were more side by side than face-to-face.

“This whole procedure is primitive, don't you think?” he asked.

“Well, one cannot expect to find a wife in a bazaar, so what other choice is there?”

“I almost had that feeling yesterday.”

“What is that?” I wondered, not following him for the first time since we had begun to converse.