For Better or For Worse (11 page)

I couldn’t believe at her
willingness to go the extra mile. She wanted to do everything and
do it everywhere now days. It seemed not so long ago that I
couldn’t get her to sleep with me if I begged; now I can’t seem to
keep her off. She started placing kisses on my neck and chest ready
for round three. “Oh no, not again I don’t have any more fluid
left. Damn, I need some Gatorade.” I eased her off playfully. “Oh
c’mon… toughen up.” She pouted and slammed her hands down on my
chest. I shook my head. “A navy seal isn’t tough enough for you.”
She laughed at the fact that she was getting the best of me. I
pulled a sheet off of her bed to cover us Lucy snatched it away
from me. “If you were going to cover up then you shouldn’t have
come here.” She leaned over me and placed kisses on my
neck.

“
So is that all you
want from me is sex. I’m starting to feel so
used. What have I done to you?” She placed me on the floor. “You my
friend have created a monster now just sit back and enjoy the
tutelage of your work.” Lucy began to kiss me again as she plopped
on top of my chest. I held her closely as my tongue messaged hers.
We were so wrapped up into each other mentally and physically we
didn’t even hear when her room door opened.

“
Hey Luce, I thought you
guys might like to watch a movie I…”Alayah, Lucy’s roommate came in
and her eyes widened at what she saw, she was looking at us and we
were looking at her dumbfounded. She calmly but quickly gathered
her things and left the room. Lucy got off me and covered herself
with the sheets; I sat up and stared at the wall while the silence
was defined in the room. I heard a slight giggle then a burst of
all out laughter, I watched Lucy collapse back onto the floor in
hysterics. “This is not funny. Your roommate just walked in us
having sex.” I yelled trying to get her to see the seriousness of
it all. Lucy’s laughter increased the more she thought about it,
hell the more I thought about I let out a chuckle. The more I
thought about the look on Alayah’s face when she saw us made it
worse. We both rolled on the floor laughing until we
cried.

***

Chapter
10

Can’t stay away

Grant

On the drive home I thought
about having slept with Alexia, I knew I was wrong for what I did
but for some reason I just didn’t feel guilty…at all. I even
thought about doing it again. I knew things between me and Lucy had
to be straight awful for me to be feeling like this. This was the
most important night of my life and she wasn’t there and probably
didn’t even care. At this point I figured my marriage was a lost
cause. I walked in the house a little after twelve; I was hoping
Lucy would be asleep by now so I could avoid a confrontation. I
made my way into the house, placed my keys on the hook an attempted
to go upstairs. “Your home?” To my surprise Lucy was up waiting for
me in the living area, my heart dropped at the sound of her voice
and I tensed up trying not to come off suspicious. I walked slowly
to where she was. “What’s wrong?”

I could tell she had been
crying. She straightened up her face. “Oh I’m fine…but we are not.
Are we?” I walked towards her on the couch still confused. Lucy
cleared her throat and struggled to talk. “What I mean is you
haven’t been happy with me lately…that’s why you did what you did.”
She clarified.
Oh no she
knows
, I thought.
How did she find out? Was it one of those women’s intuition
things?
Immediately my heart stopped and
my eyes started to plead with her. “Look let’s just talk about it…”
“There is nothing to say but …I’m sorry.” Now I was completely
puzzled as I sat on the couch next to her. “Grant I know I haven’t
been the best wife …Ok let’s be honest I have been the worst
wife…I’ve been so focused on my career that I’ve lost sight of the
two most important people in my life…..” She took my hands into
hers.

“
I have made a lot of
mistakes and I ….I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me but baby I’m
sorry.” I watched her sob, pleading for my forgiveness, and shook
my head. “No…I can’t do this…I can’t do this.” I pulled my hand
away from hers and stood up. She looked at me with sad eyes. “Grant
please…” I walked to the window and leaned on it.
What the hell was wrong with her?
I thought.
After all
these years and after all this time now she finally gets a damn
clue. Now after not being there for me when I needed her…Now after
what I did
. She stood up and slowly walked
toward me. “Grant I’m sorry, I know I should have been there for
you tonight but you have to understand I was trying to…”

I cut her off. “I don’t
care.” I roared scaring her. “I have been begging you to be there
for me, spend time with me, and your son.” She stood their shaking
as tears rained down her eyes. I continued to lash out her. “Now
the one time I needed you…I needed you to be there you weren’t.” I
watched her sob in the middle of the room, she looked so helpless.
I wasn’t even mad at her, I was mad at myself because I made love
to another woman and now thinking back on it I hated myself for it.
I walked toward Lucy and slowly brought her closer to me. She
buried her face into my chest. “Grant I’m so sorry…I am.” I
continued to hold her and kiss her head. “It’s ok baby. It’s ok.”
She continued to cry. “God, you must hate me right now huh?” I
grabbed her face sternly. “I love you ok…There is nothing you can
do or say that is going to change that.” She leaped back into my
arms grateful for the mercy I was showing her. “I’m so sorry baby…I
swear I’m going to make it up to you I promise…You hear me….I
promise.”

I felt so guilty; I hated
myself for stepping out on my marriage.
Damn
, I thought. “It’s alright
baby…Were going to be fine.” I promised her. Lucy attempted to kiss
me but I quickly dodged her. She looked hurt and confused. “What’s
wrong?” I stepped back.
What do I do? I
can’t kiss her like this?
I
thought.
Not after…
“Nothing’s wrong baby, I just uh threw up…Too much to drink
tonight.” She nodded not sure on whether to believe me or not. I
walked toward her and placed my hand on her shoulders. “Let me just
go get cleaned up and wait for me in the bed ok?” Lucy wiped her
face and nodded as I went upstairs. I made it to the bathroom and
cursed myself.
Damn,
I thought. I ran the shower and removed my clothing trying to
find any marks left on my body after being with Alexia. I couldn’t
believe the shit I had got myself into.

After washing up I walked
into the bedroom, Lucy was still up waiting for me and I climbed
into bed with her. She smiled faintly. “I thought you would never
get in here.” She placed her hands on my shoulders and kissed my
lips. I reluctantly kissed her allowing my tongue to mingle with
hers before pulling away. I couldn’t do it. It was bad enough I
slept with someone else; I wouldn’t dare be so disrespectful enough
to sleep with Lucy too in the same night. She looked sad that I
didn’t want to have sex. She felt like I didn’t want her. “Baby I’m
just tired…let me hold you.” With tearful eyes she agreed and laid
down with me. She stayed in my embrace that entire night not
wanting to let go. I couldn’t help the shame I felt. The neglect
from my wife was nothing compared to the betrayal I had
committed.

I walked into the office
anticipating on seeing Alexia for the first time since our sexual
encounter. With all the drama from last night my mind felt like a
rollercoaster and I didn’t know where the next stop was going to
be. I may have had a lot of confusion going on but one thing was
going to be understood, me and Alexia would never happen again and
I was going to make that very clear. I walked past the breakfast
stand where I would usually pick up something before work, I moved
past the front office where I would say good morning to the staff,
I walked right into my office and contemplated the next move. I
couldn’t believe how stupid I was last night. Having sex with this
girl like I wasn’t even married, I felt so damn foolish. I started
to rub my temples, I noticed a note on the desk saying I had a
meeting in thirty minutes to discuss layouts for project Reach
out.
Oh great
, I
thought,
more stress
. I suddenly felt a smooth hand caress my back.

I jumped back to see
Alexia. “Is something wrong?” She asked in confusion. I tried to
regain my composure, but that black skirt that was showing off her
long legs was not helping, it took a moment for me to realize she
said something. “Yeah um…I’m fine.” I finally was able to look up
at her face. Her hair was pulled back and her pretty lips were
painted with red lipstick. “Actually no...I’m not fine...” I walked
closer to her more sternly this time. “Look Alexia I like you. I
like you a lot, but I love my wife. What happened between us can
never happen again.”
Strong and firm
Grant,
I kept telling myself,
strong and firm.
She
stood there taking in everything I said and nodded. “Its ok…I
completely understand.” I looked at her puzzled. “You do?” “Yes
Grant.” She said as she walked closer to me.

“
Are you sure, because I
never meant to hurt you or lead you on, I just…?” She put up a hand
to silence me. “I understand…. we both got carried away…let’s just
forget about it.” I took a sigh of relief until she placed her
hands on my shoulders. “Should I transfer to another office…give us
some distance?” Imagine the irony because there was absolutely no
distance between us. Alexia kept looking at me the same way she
looked at me last night…that’s how we got into all this trouble in
the first place. Her finger traced my lips causing me to harden.
She placed her knee against my groined and gently massaged it.
Alexia bit her lip enjoying the reaction she was getting out of me.
“I just don’t know if I can stay away from you.” “Alexia” Her name
escaped out of my weak mouth. I was completely captivated by her
once again.

We started kissing, and
instantly I felt that heat building up again. I felt under skirt
and placed her right on my desk. She laid down and spread her legs
revealing her lack of panties. Her eyes stared at me waiting to
feel that orgasm she had felt last night again, right on top of my
desk. I undid my pants and entered into her slowly. Alexia wrapped
her legs around me as continued to push harder. As much as we did
it last night, Alexia’s body was now naturally stretched to fit me
now. She even was able to grind with me as I stroked her. “Oh damn,
Grant.” She moaned. I kept one hand on her shoulder and the other
on her hip perfectly balancing us as I pushed. We were deeply into
it, damn near to the climax when I heard a knock on my office door.
We both stopped and looked, Alexia fell back against the desk
moaning and dissatisfied by the interruption. “Damn.” I mumbled.
Knock, knock. “Come in.” Marshall made his way into my
office.

He was and older white man
with thinning hair, bold eyes and the best Italian suits in the
country. He was a riot when at dinner parties and office jams but
when it was time to get serious he was serious. “Hey there, I was
hoping you had the paper work ready for me, that way we could get
started with Project Reach Out.” He walked in and peered at me for
a moment. “You ok Grant?” I nodded. “Yes why?” He shrugged. “You’re
just sweating a little.” I touched my forehead, it was wet. “Oh, I
just took a slight jog this morning…you know got to stay in shape.”
He looked at me like I was joking. “If you were any more in shape
you could be a body builder.” He chuckled and I joined in trying to
hide my nervousness. “Anyway, the files?” “Oh yes.” I got the files
out of my cabinet. “Here you go.”

He quickly scooped them up.
“Grant you’re doing such a great job, before you know it, you will
be running things.” I smiled. “Thank you sir, that means a lot
coming from you.” He nodded and with that he was out the door.
“Whew. Talk about close.”Alexia emerged from the closet laughing at
the whole situation, I noticed her clothes were back on properly
like they had never been touched. I shook my head. “This shit is
not funny.” I looked at her sternly. How could she find this
amusing, my boss almost walked in on me screwing his partner’s
assistant? She pouted when she saw my angry expression. “Oh c’mon,
don’t look like that he didn’t even notice anything.” She walked
over and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. “Besides even if he saw us
it would have been well worth it.” Alexia glanced at herself in the
mirror to make sure nothing was out of order and when everything
met her requirements she headed for the door.

“
I’ll see you later ok.”
As she walked out she turned around and winked at me. I buried my
face in my hands, wondering what the hell I had just done. I
straightened up my light grey tie trying to get my head cleared to
no avail. Once again I had put my marriage in jeopardy; once again
I had broken my vows and…
Wait a damn
minute
, I thought while sitting back in my
chair.
How many times has Lucy put our
marriage in jeopardy? How times had she broken our marriage vows?
So what the hell am I feeling sorry for?
I
shook my head. As far as I was concerned she brought this on
herself. I was no longer going to feel guilty being with Alexia, I
had finally found a woman who didn’t mind giving me some attention,
and damn it…it is what is. I leaned back into my chair as much as I
was trying to convince myself that I was right in what I was doing,
I couldn’t help but feel a gnawing at my heart.