For Better or For Worse (15 page)

“
Alexia, I’m sorry for
what I said to you earlier. I care about you and this baby but I
have put my marriage in a difficult point right now. But that
doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a part of this child’s life…If you
will let me.” She nodded and her face softened at my sincerity. “Of
course I want you to be a part of the baby’s life, but I don’t want
it to be some type of burden for you, something you have to do.
This child is innocent of any wrong doing it shouldn’t be treated
like a nuisance.” “And it won’t be…I’ll never do that. Do you
believe me?” She looked into my eyes for conformation and
nodded.
Finally some
understanding
, I thought. “Now I am going
to be honest with you, I do want a paternity test just to be sure.”
Alexia scowled. “Of course you do, because I’m sleeping around with
everybody right?” I sighed. “Alexia, I just don’t want any doubts.”
Alexia studied me for a second and smirked. “Ok, and when you find
out that this baby is yours what then?” “I am going to do
everything in my power to take care of it and you.” She smiled
faintly and I could tell her guard had been let down. I breathed a
sigh of relief. “Let me take you home now.” I said guiding her to
the exit of the hospital. I still held the sonogram picture of the
baby in my hands. I glanced down at it not knowing how to break the
news to my wife…but I knew it had to be done.

Lucy

Grant and I were actually
talking again, spending more and more time together, and being a
real family. We haven’t felt this good or stable in our
relationship in years…and the more time we spent together the
better we seemed to get. I had been praying for this moment for a
while now, the moment where I could look into my man’s eyes and
know that we were truly happy…and we were. Everything was finally
going great for me and I guess it showed. “Well don’t you look
happy today.” Megan came into my office grinning. “Why yes I am.” I
gave her a hug with a big Kool-Aid grin plastered on my face.
“Happy to hear that girl, at one point I thought I was going to
have to help you pack boxes.” She joked…but not really. I laughed
knowing she spoke the truth. “Well thank God it didn’t turn out
like that.” I placed my coffee on my desk and stretched out in the
back of my chair.

This feeling that was over
me felt like ecstasy…I most definitely was on cloud nine and
feeling so damn good. “I’ll tell you Meg…Things have gotten so much
better between Grant and I …I can’t believe I could feel this way
again.” Megan took a seat opposite me nodded. “Ummm Hmmm …good sex
does heal all wounds.” We both looked at each other and almost fell
on the floor laughing… because she had a point there. “Not just
that Ms. Freak a leak… Grant and I have emotionally reconnected,
not just physically. This reminds me of when we first met and I
couldn’t wait to see him every second of the day. Oooh.” Meg smiled
at me while I floated on thin air. “Lucy I got to say I am so happy
to see you like this…its incredible.” “Girl tell me about it.”
Knock, knock. “Hello…Mrs. Smith.”

Luis the office mail man
appeared in my doorway, he was also the community mail man who ran
in my neighborhood, and such a sweet old man who would stop by my
office and speak from time to time. “Hey there Luis…How are you?”
Megan and I tried to recollect ourselves from our girlish talk
knowing a man at entered the room. “Hi there dear, I was supposed
to deliver the mail along the offices and came across some of your
house mail” He came in breathing a little heavy with his hand
across his round stomach. “I usually wouldn’t give it to you here
but I have to head home as soon as possible…my son is coming in to
town.” I reached for the mail he had in his hands. “Oh that’s
alright…Saves me the trouble of stopping at the mailbox huh?” He
smiled and leaned over to hand me the mail. I waved Luis off before
he made his exit. “What a day what a day” Meg tilted back in chair
appearing in a daze. “Girl no wonder you passed off the office
annual ball to me…with all this damn work I’m doing…I can’t decide
whether it’s a blessing or a curse.” I chuckled her way as I
flipped through the mail. “Well now it’s your cross to bear because
I am d-o-n…what.” Shockingly, I came across a letter from a medical
office addressed to Grant.
Mothers care
facility
, I read.
Isn’t that the maternity part of Shand’s hospital. Why the
hell would they be sending him this?
“Everything ok Luce?” Meg said popping her head back up and
looking at the concern on my face. “Huh, yeah girl I’m cool.
Probably just some junk mail.” I continued to hold onto the letter
in my hand; from this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach I
knew something wasn’t right. And I would be damned if I didn’t find
out what in the hell the hell was going on.

Chapter 14

Lie to
me

Grant

“
Oh my …my…Just my.” Frank
was completely in panic mode. His frazzled face had grown ten
shades paler than usual. He leaned his elbows on his knees and
looked at me in utter disappointment sitting in the chair across
from my desk. I finally confessed to somebody this horrifying
secret. I told him everything, from start to finish hoping and
praying he could come up with a solution to help. He looked at me
with such a shocked face like I had just told him I was Osama Bin
Laden and I needed help with my diabolical plan. After taking some
time to decipher the foul information I had just told him, Frank
finally spoke. “You have no idea how deep of a grave you have dug
yourself in huh?” I shook my head in frustration, the last thing I
needed from him now was a berating. “Frank help me.” He stood up in
outrage. “Grant you have...”

“
Don’t lecture me.” I cut
him off. “Help me...” Frank took a deep breath before speaking.
“That’s what I have been trying to explain to you Grant…There is no
help.” I looked at him in disbelief refusing to believe what he
just said. But Frank was not backing down in his stance. “I’m sorry
man this is too much… I can’t promise you everything’s going to be
ok.” I dropped my head into my hands knowing he spoke the truth…I
was screwed, either way this was a no win situation. Frank reached
out his hand to me and placed it on my back. “Grant the best I can
do is tell you to come clean about the whole situation.” I shook my
head and looked at him like he was joking. “How can I do that…how
can I possibly do that…tell my wife I have been having an affair
for over three months and oh yeah to top it off she’s pregnant. I
might as well be signing my death warrant.” I paced the room back
and forth trying to find a positive solution that wouldn’t cost me
my family
. Not now God, not when we have
finally gotten so better, don’t take them away from me
please
. I silently prayed. Frank sighed
and his anger turned into pity for me and my situation. “Grant any
way you spin this it is going to be bad ok…but I assure if she
finds out on her own it will be worst. There will be no coming
back.” I fell back on to the chair near my desk; “It’s going to
hurt her…Its going to hurt us.” Frank reached out and touched my
shoulder again. “The longer you wait the worse it’s going to be.” I
dropped my head down low and accepted my fate. Knowing what I had
to do and the pain I was going to cause.

As I pulled into the drive
way I was ready to face the music, it was time to come clean to
Lucy about everything. I walked through the front door and pre
pared myself for the worst. I knew I was going to hurt the woman I
loved more than anything in the world but it had to be done; I was
no longer able to lie to neither her nor myself anymore. Strangely
as I made my way inside all the lights were off in the house;
except for the dining room lights. I felt a strange vibe brewing in
my home and wanted to know where everyone was. I loosened my tie,
took a few steps into the dining area and spotted Lucy at the
table. She must have heard my footsteps behind her because she
straightened her position in the chair. “Lucy…Baby...what’s wrong?”
She looked up at me, her face appeared so dazed almost as if she
wasn’t even there and it frightened me to see her like that…so
gone. By the look on her face I could tell she wanted to say
something but had a hard time getting it out. “The….” She cleared
her throat and breathed so she could speak clearer. “The mail came
early t…today. …from the….the medical center.”

She was clutching a letter
in her hand. My heart was aching and my body grew cold because I
knew what she had in her hand and how much it was hurting her. Lucy
looked back down at the paper and started laughing; she stood up
and pulled me into a tight embrace. “Please.” She said so low it
sounded like a whisper. “Please tell me it’s not true. Please…” She
was holding on to me for dear life refusing to let go. I grabbed
her arms trying to get her to release me but to no avail. “It’s not
true…you couldn’t… you wouldn’t do this to me….You wouldn’t baby.”
Her voice cracked, the tears were pouring down; I could feel the
wetness around my neck. Lucy pulled my face to hers and kissed my
lips desperately. “This is a joke right? It is, you’re not…You’re
not the father of this girls baby…No.”

She continued to kiss me
not passionately but in an attempt to silence me refusing to let me
say anything at all let along the truth. Lucy was helplessly
frantic and scaring me by her actions. I pulled her away from me so
that I could look her in the face. “Say it…Say it’s not true tell
me...” She was practically begging me to give her a false report,
to tell her a bold face lie…I couldn’t do it. “I want you.” She
took a breath to calm herself down. “I want you to tell me.” Lucy
clutched my shoulders and begged and pleaded me. “Say it….SAY IT!”
She screamed. I couldn’t do anything but look at her with sorrowful
eyes saying and begging that I’m sorry. “Oh God…..Oh God…Oh my
God.” She fell to the floor crying and sobbing. Her tears were
failing waterfalls from devastating pain. . All I could do was
watch at the damage I had done, to my wife, and to my
family.

Lucy

I laid there and cradled
myself on the floor for about an hour unable to move, tears
helplessly streamed down my face as my heart broke into a million
pieces. Grant sat there near the wall and watched me cry knowing
that he was the cause of all my suffering. I looked at him looking
at me. “How could you do this to me?” My voice was drained it came
out as a dry whisper as I spoke to him. He sat and rubbed his hand
over his head trying to find words that would clear his name but
there were none so he went with the typical male thing to say in
situations like these. “I’m sorry I…” I scoffed cutting him off. “I
am so tired of hearing you say that shit.” I slowly got up off of
the dining room floor and went to the kitchen sink to wash my face,
he followed me.

“
I didn’t want any of this
to happen baby you got to believe me…things just got out of
control” I just stood there shaking my head. I couldn’t believe the
bullshit he was saying to me. “ Grant I don’t understand… help me
understand how you could have sex with this woman repeatedly and
not think once, even once what your stupid ass was doing was
wrong.” Grant came towards me and pulled me to face him. “I was
tormented by what I did, every time I stepped in this house…It
disgusted me that I was sleeping with someone else and that I was
ruining our marriage…Baby please….I was wrong completely. I know
this now just…” I snatched away from him. “Now …you realize this
now. Sure you do after your ass had been caught.” I walked into the
nearby hall, I had to get away from him or so help me God. “No
that’s not what I meant I…”He said chasing after me.

“
Well were you satisfied?
Did she give you what you needed?” I stopped abruptly with my
questions and didn’t even let him respond. “I mean obviously I
wasn’t getting the job done. Forget the fact that I was willing to
give up my damn career for you…for us… you still needed a little
piece on the side.” Grant shook his head and made his eyes plead to
me…but I wasn’t falling for that shit now. “It wasn’t like that.”
He tried to respond. I chuckled a little and leaned against the
wall. “No? Well what was it like? I was home, cooking, cleaning,
watching our child and oh my goodness I don’t know trying to save
our marriage. I did everything you asked me to do and barely got
five minutes of your time. You just couldn’t wait to run the
streets and start fucking any and every nasty ass hoe willing to
spread her legs for you.” Grant tried to pull me into his arms but
I shoved him off. Trying to calm me down was impossible, not after
this.

“
I mean forget that you
have a wife and child at home who you took vows with. Who you
promised to love, honor, cherish all that shit…none of that
mattered to you did it?” Those tears were welling up again; I felt
like dying, I couldn’t believe he could do this. “So what is this?
You love her? You two want to be together with your new baby and
live happily ever...” He grabbed me abruptly. “No…I want you. I
want to be with you.” I slapped his hands away from and started
crying all over again. Grant didn’t say anything, there was nothing
to say. I wiped tears from my face and stared at him coldly. “You
son of a bitch…How long did you think you could hide this...A
month…A year...Forever.” He finally looked back up at me. “I was
going to tell you. I just needed the right time.” I stepped back.
“Whoa the right time…Well let’s see before she got pregnant would
have really made the cut…Oh and after realized you were married
would have eased right on in…and oh yeah before you started
sleeping with her ass would have been great!” He took a step
towards me. “Don’t...” I warned. “Don’t you ever touch me again…You
know what I don’t even blame you”