For Cam (Chicago Syndicate Book 4) (32 page)

If we lose Cam, we lose Adriano too.

Adriano

––––––––

L
ogan comes back within two hours with an update for me, Luca, and Carmine. Fallon’s also still with us since it’s Christmas Eve and Luca doesn’t want to leave her side, which I understand entirely. 

“Talk to us, Logan.” I turn my chair sideways so that my elbow rests on Cam’s bed.

Logan halts at the foot of the bed, unbuttoning his suit jacket. “Wallace was there with my superior, Cooper, to demand Medlov back right away. I lied and told them that within forty-eight hours, you’d return Medlov unless he gave me the tape immediately.”

I play with Cam’s fingers absentmindedly and stop to grin when Logan holds up a black USB device between his thumb and forefinger.

“The recording of Cam?” I ask.

He nods proudly and smirks. “Yes, it’s her voice and Santino’s.”

“And are there copies?” Luca and Carmine inquire in unison.

“Not with Wallace. Either way, he’s being watched now.”

“Still,” I explain, “he’ll be a problem at some point, but for now, we can keep him busy by burying him in a scandal. I have a journalist at the Chicago Times that can get the ball rolling.”

“That’s good,” Logan says. “As extra insurance, it’s smart to be safe rather than sorry, so I asked Henry to get me more info on the Senate, mainly the other senator representing Chicago. I’m not completely up-to-date on what’s been going on, but I believe these two senators are rivals, each wanting to push different legislations through Congress. Anyway, it could be fruitful to contact the other senator, perhaps sponsor her and get her into our corner in case of any trouble.”

“How does this sponsoring work?” Carmine asks before I can.

“You donate money to their campaign, help them to get a second term, and buy their loyalty,” Logan replies in a conspiratorial tone.

Carmine advises, “You certainly have the money. Club 7 has become a hot spot for celebrities as of late because your security is tight. If the club keeps prospering, your income forecast for next year will be ridiculous. You’re going to make a fortune. What better way to use it than to forge new, more powerful national-level alliances?”

“Then set it up.” I’m not one to hesitate in decision-making these days. “Carmine can contact that senator and handle all the finances.”

“Looking forward to it,” Carmine replies and combs his hair back. Right now, he reminds me a lot of myself. 

“By the way,” Logan adds. “Wallace thinks he’s getting Medlov back within twenty-four hours.”

“Medlov is already in FBI custody,” I inform him. “
Capo
John confirmed it just five minutes ago. They have Medlov and Maxim. Those two will live in an American hell for the rest of their lives.”

“Which DA is on it? Ours?” Logan asks me.

“No, but there’s so much evidence that the FBI will take care of that. They’ll get life in prison without the possibility of parole. And in prison, they’ll be tortured and raped every night as penance for harming Cam.”

“Good. Then I guess we’re done for the night.” Logan checks his watch.

“Yes. Go. Celebrate Christmas.” I face all of them. “Carmine, go to our parents’ before our mother starts calling me.”

“Just come with me for an hour?” Carmine suggests.

“I can’t leave Cam.” I don’t want to.

“Okay. I’ll be back with Mary tomorrow.” He doesn’t press the matter. “
Buon Natale, fratello.
” Merry Christmas, brother.

“I’ll be in touch soon,” Logan comments as he takes off with Carmine, and Fallon and Luca get up from their chair.

I notice Fallon swiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “Sorry. It’s just with Christmas, I really miss her a lot.”

Luca hugs Fallon and presses a kiss to her temple. “We understand. I miss her a lot too.” And he grins at me curiously. “Cam, sweetheart, you’re making Fallon cry.”

“Don’t call her
sweetheart
!” I object.

“You called Fallon
dolcezza
all the time when I first met her,” he jokes. “This is payback.”

“Fuck you.”

He merely smirks. 

“You want us to stay? We can stay over too,” Fallon offers, but Luca’s brows pull together and he shakes his head vigorously right before Fallon glances at him sideways.

“I don’t think a sleepover was on Luca’s calendar this Christmas. And I want to be alone with Cam,
dolcezza
.” I wink at Fallon.

“I swear to god, when Cam wakes, I’m going to call her
sweetheart
every day,” Luca teases.

I laze back in my chair. “Try. She won’t let you.”

“And why do you
let
him, Fallon?” He aims a scowl at her.

“Oh my god!” She throws up her hands in defeat. “I’m not getting in the middle of this idiotic discussion. Cam, sweetheart – she’ll let
me
call her
sweetheart
– I’ll be back tomorrow with presents.” And she kisses my cheek before Luca tugs her out.

Just like that, I’m once again surrounded by silence, except for the beat of Cam’s heart monitor.

Deftly, I unbutton my shirt and shrug it off. Then I push the button on the bed to move the mattress into a sitting position so that I can take off that hospital gown they have Cam wearing. And I carefully place my shirt around her shoulders, not tucking in her arms and making sure not to disturb her IV, so that she’s dressed in her favorite attire, one of my white shirts, which is what she would always wear while lounging around the loft.

By now, I know exactly how to hold her without twisting any wires. I slip in behind her and hug her to me tightly. It’s been a long, trying day, and my thoughts swallow me up.

Have you ever hoped for something so badly that it consumes your entire being? Where every thought, every action, and every reaction is a result of that one thing you desperately want? It’s not a good place to be, and it’s the exact type of hell I keep living in. Rage is one of the strongest emotions, but grief destroys you.

I end this Christmas Eve the same way that I have every night for the last eight weeks. By imploring my love to wake up. “It’s time to open those beautiful brown eyes, sweetheart.”

To no avail – once again.

Camilla

––––––––

I
never wanted to be weak again, but I’m defenseless like this. The longer I’m trapped in this limbo, the more I worry. The same words resonate in my head. Clear sentences are random. Still, I hear Adriano most often. When I don’t feel him, I’m afraid that he’s left me. Deep in my soul, I sense the fire that Adriano and I started to build almost three years ago. And in the darkness that surrounds me at all times nowadays, I swear I feel the sizzling heat of its flames.

But I still don’t know how much time is passing, because for me, it’s at a full stop. I
do
realize that life must be continuing, and I’m afraid that Adriano is moving on, especially when I figure out what’s happening. When the voices break through my fog. 

“...shut it off...marriage...dead body...wedding bands.”

No! Am I dead?

What the hell is this talk about
marriage
and
wedding bands
? 

Out of nowhere, I hear music. Lyrics and notes that I remember vividly.

People fall in love in mysterious ways.

Maybe just a touch of the hand.

For me, I fall in love with you every single day.

And I just wanna tell you where I am.

So honey, now.

Take me into your loving arms.

Our song: Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking Out Loud’.

In my mind’s eye, tears fall down my cheeks. I feel as If I’m in our bed in my favorite position, with Adriano spooning me. I smell him. Yet I can’t touch him. And I can’t see him. That sensation deepens the fractures in my heart.

Adriano’s voice is close to my ear, and it’s ever so clear. “Come home to me, because that’s where I’ll be all the days of my life, waiting for you. I watch you. I exist for you. I belong to you. The time has come for you to open your eyes, Camilla Montesi.”

I’m drawn to the enthralling timbre that fills my being with love. How? I don’t know, but with everything I am, I feel him bleeding through my veins. My wild and untamed man.

How I miss you.

Then he kisses me in a way that I sense deep in my bones. It’s the kind of kiss that bursts with equal parts longing and love. The kind of kiss a man can only give when his soul has found its matching part. And when his soul is despairing about losing its other half.

Wait a minute! Did he say Camilla
Montesi
? He’s marrying me! He’s trying to get me to wake up...by marrying me? That’s odd.

Yet now, willpower burns deep inside, and I scream at myself to wake the fuck up. I trust the voice within, telling me to fight my way back to him.

Adriano

––––––––

I
work out but don’t eat as much as I used to, and according to my family, I’ve lost weight. But I can’t afford to appear weak, so I keep going, determined that Cam will wake and our baby will be born healthy. I have my blood family to take care of. I have an expanding Mafia family that relies on this entire empire I’ve built with Luca. And that empire is no longer in danger, because Medlov has been sentenced and is having a miserable life in prison.

However, as New Year’s Day comes and goes and the dreaded four-month deadline comes closer and closer, my heartbreak reaches a new low. 

I’m resting my head on Cam’s pillow and caressing her stomach. Her middle is growing, and she has a small bump now that the baby is seventeen weeks old. I slide my palm over it and abruptly sit up when I feel a kick against it. Such a soft little kick. 

“Cam, the baby kicked.” A frisson of elation lifts my spirits, but it’s fleeting. “My baby, are you moving around in there? You’re taking such good care of mommy for me.” I rub my eyes and return to my previous position, securing my arms around Cam’s middle. 

Today, the last day of February, marks a dark day in my life. It marks the fourth month Cam has been a comatose patient. The doctor has assured me that the baby is growing fine. She’s just a little tiny, but that’s not abnormal. Or
he
, since I didn’t want to know the sex. I want to find that out with Cam. Making that choice made me realize how lonely I currently am. I’ve walked alone through this Mafia world before – we all enter this world alone. But if we’re lucky, we might find that one person who makes the journey worthwhile. Someone whom we can sustain a love with through a lifetime of murder and anarchy. Cam is my
someone
, and I will not give her up.

When Luca enters the room, I slide off the bed and into the chair as he hands me a cup of steaming coffee.

“Thanks.”

“Has Marc come in yet to talk to you?” He takes a sip of his own drink.

I shake my head.

“What are you thinking?” he asks and stretches his legs out in front of him.

Every once in a while, either Fallon or Luca forces me to talk, to let it out. I place the cup on the nightstand. “I think about my regrets constantly. In this Mafia life, everyone loses someone important at some point. It’s the inevitable ways of the criminal life we’ve chosen. Loss is unavoidable. I pray she won’t be that someone for me. You know what the worst thing of all is? That I wanted this life with her so badly, and the few months we had together, we didn’t even get to enjoy one another because I was busy with work to secure our life. And now, I’m left with nothing.”

“No, you have us. A baby. You still have her.”

“It’s all shells and shadows. Life was much easier before love became involved. Before feelings became involved,” I state bitterly.

“But it wasn’t better.” The words are spoken softly by Luca.

“That’s true. I honestly just screwed around with so many women because no one could hold my attention, until her.” I rummage my hands through my hair and link my fingers behind my head. “Fuck! I miss the sound of her excited laugh echoing in my ear.” My gaze redirects to the door when Marc steps inside. I’m not looking forward to our conversation about Cam’s condition.

Marc’s expression is even more disheartening than usual as he’s trailed by James and Fallon. James and Marc drag two chairs opposite me, and Fallon stands behind Luca.

“Adriano, Luca,” Marc greets us, and then he addresses James and me, “First, I’m going to give you my opinion from a purely medical point of view. Cam’s chances of partial recovery are now less than fifteen percent. The longer she stays in a coma, the lesser her chances are, and we’re at a pivotal point where you need to ask yourself if you think it’s wise to prolong this situation?”

My barriers go up immediately. “What are you saying?”

“That keeping someone alive in this condition is also difficult for the family.”

“She’s pregnant! Don’t even mention what you’re about to say.” I clench my jaw. 

James is rubbing his chin thoughtfully while staring at Cam’s closed eyes.

Marc’s tone remains composed. “Even the pregnancy can become a risk, Adriano. Her blood pressure is fluctuating, and that’s a concern for the baby. If she stays like this, we’ll have to operate when the due date comes; and that’s not without risks either. I just want my brother and you to be well informed. Sometimes, when the family knows the patient wouldn’t want this kind of life or when it’s impossible to move on, the family decides it’s best to terminate their treatment.”

First, I hug Cam’s hand to my chest. Then, I calmly release her to leap up and whisper-shout with my finger pointed at Marc. “No one is turning anything off!”

“Adriano, hear Marc out first.” Luca places his hand on my shoulder.

But I shrug off Luca’s hand forcefully “No. There’s no discussion! Don’t defy me on this.” My nostrils flare from anger. 

“Then what do you suggest?” James looks me straight in the eye so that I can witness his torment as a father. “She wouldn’t want this kind of life.”

“I don’t want a life without
her
.” My voice rises in rage.