Forever Alexa (Book Four In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series) (9 page)

“I know this is hard, Alex. I can’t even imagine. They’re doing everything they can.”

She relaxed a fraction and returned his embrace, absorbing his warmth and strength. “I let her down. I’ve failed her in so many ways. She’s so young. She has her whole life ahead of her. I left her, Jack. I got on a plane and left her when she needed me most.”

He tilted her chin up. “You left to protect Olivia. She wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Olivia’s safe here. So are you. Abby loves you as much as you love her. She would understand.”

Her eyes filled, and she struggled to blink away her tears, but not before one escaped. “I need her back, Jack. I need her home.”

“I know.” He ran his fingers through her hair, and her eyes fluttered closed. Here was comfort. Here was everything she’d been without. “Jack,” she whispered as she clutched at his hips, absorbing all that he offered. “I’m so afraid.”

The pads of his fingers skimmed her jaw, her temple, leaving her skin hot wherever he touched. “You don’t have to be. I’m right here.”

“I thought you might like—” Evelyn froze in the doorway.

Alexa’s eyes flew open, and Jack yanked himself away.

“I’m sorry.” Evelyn walked off with her tray of lemonade and finger sandwiches.

“Ev.” Jack hurried after her. “Ev, wait.”

Evelyn shut herself in the master bedroom just as the doorbell rang. Alexa could hear Jack swear as he went to answer the door.

Alexa sat on the porch swing, staring into the dark. Crickets sang as she rocked the glossy wooden bench back and forth, her nerves stretching ever tighter. It had been
hours
since her deadline passed, so why hadn’t the kidnappers called? She’d dreaded the creepy mechanical voice over the last two days, but now she prayed she would hear it again.

She picked up the flip phone Agent Marway had fitted with a portable monitoring device and stared at the blue bars, relieved that the battery had been given a full charge. Agent Marway reassured her—several times—that the FBI would be able to trace any incoming calls at the Bureau and would follow up on new leads immediately. She just had to remember to do her part—wait for the cell to ring three times before she answered and keep the kidnapper on the line for as long as possible.

She was ready—more than ready—to do what she could; they just had to
call
. Sighing, she set the phone back in her lap and tried to find comfort in the warmth of the night and the stars shining bright and beautiful above. Jack’s neighborhood was quiet, and the mountains lit up by the city in the distance soothing. She glanced to the window, looking into the room where Olivia slept. She could see her daughter’s tiny form cast in shadows from the bathroom light she’d left on. Alexa stopped swinging when Jack, clad in black gym shorts and a white t-shirt, stepped in the room. His tough, athletic frame hovered over their daughter. He sat on the edge of the bed.

She studied Jack as he picked up Livy’s hand and held it in his. He was in love with his little girl. The adoration had been unmistakable after he’d moved past the shock. He wanted to know his daughter; he deserved to. And Olivia deserved to know him. If she could take the time back and tell him from the beginning... She shook away the regret. They could only start now, but ‘now’ had its own complications.

Leaning against the swing, she played back the scene from earlier this afternoon. She’d been foolish to let Jack touch her again; she’d been stupid to forget that being in his arms could only bring pain. One moment of weakness had caused so many problems. Evelyn had stayed in the master suite since she dashed away with her tray of refreshments. Jack shut himself in the bedroom seconds after Agent Marway left. As Alexa made her escape to the fresh air, she could hear Evelyn’s quiet crying echoing through the door.

Sighing, Alexa closed her eyes in a moment of surrender and drifted as she tried to figure out what to do next. A hotel room would probably be better—something close… The phone rang in her lap, startling her. Alexa jumped and scooped it up, staring at the
unknown name, unknown number
that popped up every time the kidnappers called. She struggled to keep her breathing steady as she hovered her finger over the talk button, waiting for the next ring, then the next. That was three. “Hello?”

“Sister Alexa, where’s the money?”

She stood and began pacing back and forth frantically as the nerves she’d struggled to keep at bay flooded her instantly. “I’m still working on securing the funds. You can have what’s in my account now.”

Mechanical laughter filled her ear. “Do you think I’m playing games?”

“No, no, I—”

“Say goodbye to your sister.”

“Lex?”

Alexa froze as her sister’s voice trembled with fear. “Abby.”

“Oh, God, Lex. I love you. I love you.”

Before she could respond, Abby’s terrified screams echoed through the phone, and then there was silence. “Abby? Abby?”

“We’re coming for your daughter next.” The line went dead.

“Abby!” Alexa no longer held the phone to her ear as she shouted her piercing wails into the receiver. “Abby!”

Jack rushed out the door. “Alex, what is it?”

Fighting for her breath over her helpless terror, she ran toward the latch on the gate. The wild, overwhelming horror consuming her body forced her to flee.

“Alex.” Jack grabbed her arm and yanked her around. “Alex.”

She clawed to get away. “They killed her. They killed her while I listened.”

He gripped her close as she collapsed to the ground in hysterical tears.

“Come here. Come here,” he murmured against her hair as he held her, rocking her in his lap.

“She’s dead, Jack. Abby’s dead.” She pressed her face to his chest, letting her torrid emotions run free.

“Hold on to me. Hold on to me, Alex.”

She did, clutching, trembling, sobbing, listening to Jack’s comforting murmurs close to her ear. His hand ran up and down her back in soothing strokes until eventually he picked her up. She had no idea how long they sat in the grass while she cried as she never had before. Minutes? Hours? At some point, her tears dried, and she found herself resting her cheek against Jack’s solid shoulder and staring at the tall wood planks of the fence. Somewhere along the way, disbelief had replaced her horror. Nothing seemed real as she drifted in and out of the present.

Abby couldn’t be dead. She was only twenty-two. She had job interviews to get to, a life to build. This was all some sort of horrid mistake. Was Jack really holding her? Had she finally cracked? Her mind whirled between Jack, Abby, and Olivia.

“Olivia,” she said listlessly as he carried her down the hall to her room. “They’re coming for Olivia.”

“She’s safe, Alex. They can’t touch her here. I won’t let them. We won’t let them.” He set her on the bed and crouched next to her. “Where are your pajamas?”

What did he say? Why couldn’t she keep up?

“Where are your pajamas, Alex?”

“My pajamas? I—I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

He walked to a drawer, opened it, and came back with one of his t-shirts. “Put this on.”

She stared at the white cotton, paralyzed.

“Come on, Alex.” He tugged her to standing. “You need to close your eyes and get some rest.”

“Is Abby dead? Is she really gone? She kept screaming and screaming. Then she stopped.” Grief threatened to come back and swallow her as tears rushed down her cheeks, unstoppable. “I told Gran I would take care of her. I promised her I would.” She shuddered, her breath ragged.

“This isn’t your fault.” He wiped tears away with his thumbs. “None of this is your fault.”

“I didn’t save her. I didn’t save, Abby.”

“Let’s get you into bed.” He unbuttoned the top button of her fitted blouse as she stared at him. “Come on, Alex. Help me out here.”

“I can’t sleep. I don’t want to sleep. She screamed. She was terrified.”

He undid the next button, then the next, his warm skin skimming hers as he tugged her shirt away. He yanked up the white t-shirt and pulled it over her head. “Take off your pants.”

She glanced down and fiddled with the snap in the dark shadows of the room, her fingers shaking. “I—I can’t get it.”

He heaved out a sigh, then pushed her hands away, unfastened the snap, and tugged on the zipper. Her slacks pooled on the floor, and he stared into her eyes. “Get into bed.”

“Okay.” She took a step, looked at Livy, then stopped as she heard her sister’s screams again. “I’m so afraid for Livy, Jack. I’m so afraid. I don’t know what I’ll do if they take her away.”

Jack stepped up behind her and pulled her side of the covers back. “Look at me.”

She turned.

“No one’s taking our daughter, Alex.” He skimmed his hands down her arms. “No one’s taking her away. Trust me. Let me handle this. Let me take care of you both for awhile.”

She’d taken care of Livy, of herself, of Abby and Gran for so long. “I don’t know how.”

“Take the first step. Get into bed and rest.”

She nodded and lay down on her side, pulling Olivia close. “Don’t turn off the bathroom light, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” He stretched out next to her, leaning his back against the pillows, and crossed his ankles. “I’ll sit with you for awhile.”

“Thank you.” The warmth of his body seeped through her borrowed cotton shirt as she snuggled her little girl, listening to her steady breathing. There was no comfort in holding her baby close, only the stark terror that she was next. How would they take her? Would they pull her into the back of a van like they did Abby? Were they watching Jack’s house right now? “Are the doors locked?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe I should go check.” The thought of walking through the dark was more than she could stand, but losing Livy was worse. “What about the windows?”

“I have a security system and a gun.” He took her hand and she clutched it “My house is safe. You and Olivia are exactly where you’re supposed to be. Try to get some rest.”

She closed her eyes, still holding on to Jack, certain she would never sleep again.

If he could go back and change it, he would. God knows he’d paid for his mistake every day he’d had to live without her. He’d gone back for Alex, but it had been too late.

“What the hell are you doing, Jackson? What are you thinking? She won’t want to see you.” The worrisome thoughts plagued him as he raced down the interstate to the college. Despite the tension clenching his belly, he drove on.

He had to do this. He needed to apologize and tell her he’d been a fool. If only he’d taken the time to think before he messed everything up. Hours before he ended their relationship, he’d pulled his gun on a robbery suspect for the first time. It had freaked him the hell out. Life right now freaked him the hell out. Everything was so hectic and crazy; the responsibilities were overwhelming. Why did he think pushing Alex away was the answer?

Now she was gone, and he was miserable. The last two months had been hell. He wanted her, needed her—was lost without her.

He pulled into a parking space across the street from her dorm. The calendar announced early spring’s arrival, but the piles of snow told a different story. “Alex, I’m sorry. I love you,” he muttered, practicing what he planned to say. “I didn’t—”

The words froze on his tongue, and he gripped the steering wheel tight when she pushed through the glass door of her building and stepped on the sidewalk. God, he missed her. She was so beautiful bundled in her navy blue coat with her white scarf tied at her neck.

He grabbed the handle on the Jeep and opened the door. Heart pounding, he cupped his hands around his mouth to yell her name, but stopped when a guy came up behind her and said something next to her ear. Alex threw her head back and laughed. Jackson stared, shocked, as the full-throated sound carried across the air and the man took her hand. Blinking his disbelief, he watched them walk away.