Forever Altered (5 page)

 “You’re
just upset.  You don’t mean that.  We aren’t over, Babe.  You
are going to come home with me next weekend and we’ll go to the party. 
I’ll give you the ring and this will all go away.  Please,
Lyss
.  Please don’t do this.”

 “Good-bye,
Jeff,” she says.  I can hear the pain in her voice that’s been visible on
her face for the last week.  She’s suffering right now and nothing can
keep me in this room anymore.  I walk out, pushing the door against the
wall behind it.  Standing there staring at him with my arms crossed, it’s
obvious he feels defeated.  I almost feel bad for him that he lost
her.  Almost.     

 “Fine. 
I’ll go now.  But we are not over.  I’ll give you time to cool down
and we’ll talk again, okay?” 

 Alyssa
doesn’t answer him.  She just turns away and stares out of the
window.  He turns and walks out of the door.  Within seconds, Julia
is out of her room holding her. “
Lyss
, I am so
sorry.”

 “It’s
not your fault that he is a lying bastard.”  She chokes back tears.

 “Oh
my God!  Leah is going to kill me when she hears that I let him in
here.”  It’s nice to know someone’s got her back.  “I called
Tommy.  He’s on his way.”

 “I’m
here,” I say.  “I wasn’t going to let him do anything to her.”  Just
then someone bangs on the door causing Alyssa to jump.  Julia runs over to
open it.

 “He’s
gone.  He left a few seconds ago.  I didn’t realize Rocco was here.”

 “You
okay,
Lyss
?”  He nods at me quickly and looks
back to her, waiting for her to answer.  She only tilts her head to
acknowledge him.  “Rocco, you want to come with me?  I just want to
make sure he left the building.”     

 “I
just saw him go down the steps outside the window.  He was heading towards
the parking lot.  I’m sure he’s leaving,” Alyssa tells Tommy.

 “Let’s
go make sure,” Tommy says.  I follow him out.

 “Guys,
please.  I don’t want you two to get involved.  He’s not worth
it.  He would never physically hurt me.  Just let him go.”

 “We
are just going to make sure he left.  That’s all.  I promise,” I say
to her.  I touch her forearm lightly, but what I really want to do is
scoop her up and hold her for the rest of the night.  She doesn’t even
flinch when my hand lingers on her arm for a few seconds.  As the door
starts closing behind me, I add, “Don’t open this door without looking through
the peephole first.  We’ll be right back.” 

 Tommy
and I round the corner and sneak out the side door.  “What’s this guy’s
deal?” I ask him.

 “He’s
not all that bad,” Tommy explains.  “We used to all hang out.  He
just fucked up.  It happens.  Alyssa doesn’t deserve to be treated
like that, though.  She walked in as he was bagging some bitch. 
There,” he says pointing in Jeff’s direction and he starts jogging.  “Hey,
Jeff.  Hold on a sec.”

 Jeff
looks up as he paces around his older pick-up truck.  We finally catch up
to him.  “Hey, man.”  Jeff says recognizing Tommy right away.

 “You
alright?” Tommy asks him.

 “I
can’t believe I fucked up so bad.  I really thought if I just gave her
some time, she’d come around.”  This dude is visibly upset.

 “Yeah
you did.  I have to ask, why did you do it?” Jeff looks passed him to
me.  Tommy tells him, “He’s a friend.  It’s cool.”  It’s not
cool.  Right now I want to bash this guy’s fucking head in. 

 “I
don’t know how it happened.  This girl was just there and FUCK!” He
punches the side of his truck bed.  He takes a few minutes to calm himself
down.  “What’s she been up to?  How has she been?”

 “She
hasn’t been great, Jeff.  You messed her up pretty bad.  The girls
have been really worried about her.  She didn’t deserve what you
did.  I’m sorry, but I’m not going to lie about it.”  He actually
winces and I’m happy this news bothers him.

 “No,
I appreciate you telling me.”

 “Look,
man.  I really think it’s best if you just stay away from her. She’s
done.”

 “I
don’t know how to live without her,” he confesses.

 “You’re
just going to have to figure it out.  Come on.  If your sister’s
fiancé bagged some whore, what would you do?”

 He
sighs.  Tommy is being pretty harsh, but he’s got a point.

 “I’ll
give her time, but I’m not letting her go without a fight.”

 “All
I’m going to say is Jules and I haven’t been together nearly as long as you and
Lyss
were.  I’d still never do it.  I’ve
been pretty wrecked and Jules has always been the only one on my mind.”

 “Just
keep an eye on her, please.  Don’t let anything happen to her.”  He
holds out his hand and Tommy shakes it.

 “Always
do.  We all look out for each other.  That’s why I’m standing here
talking to you.”  Jeff nods at him.  “Jeff, I’ve never had a problem
with you, but I have to say this.”  He’s trying to figure out how to say
what he’s thinking.  “Don’t do anything stupid.  Push comes to shove,
I’ll pick Alyssa every time, if you know what I mean.”  I now have a new
respect for Tommy.

 “I
do.  Thanks, man.”  He turns and gets in his truck.

  “Take
care, Jeff.”  He doesn’t say anything else.  We watch him as he pulls
away until he is out of the parking lot.

  “Think
he’ll stay away from her?” I ask Tommy as we head back to the apartment
building. 

  “I’m
not sure what he’ll do.  I don’t know him that well.  But if I were
him, I’d put up one hell of a fight for that girl.”

  “You
have something for your girl’s friend, Tommy?” I wonder.

  “I
don’t mean it like that, Rocco.  She’s honestly a great girl who’s had some
shit happen to her.  There’s something with her mom.  The guy she
dated before Jeff was even more of a prick, from what I understand.  She
really knows how to pick ‘
em
.”  He’s shaking his
head.  “I don’t know the whole story.  Julia doesn’t even know, but
whatever happened, he was arrested.  We only know that much because Alyssa
slipped one night when she was drunk.”  My stomach has twisted up in
knots.  “Jeff was there to pick up the pieces after that.  I think
they were friends for a long time before that happened, if I remember
correctly.  She’s been so upset because she really thought if she’d be
safe with anyone, it would be Jeff.  Look, don’t tell her I told you any
of that.  The poor girl doesn’t need any one throwing this shit in her
face.”

  “I
would never,” I assure him.  We head back up the steps to the door we came
out of.  Tommy leans over the railing and knocks on the girls’
window.  I look at him.

  “We
always do this.  Beats walking all the way to the front of the
building.”  I agree with him as Julia opens the door.  “He’s gone,”
he tells her.  “I made sure he left the parking lot.”

  She
wraps her arms around his waist and he looks at her adoringly.  I’m
envious of what they have and it sucks that I will never be able to have that
with anyone.  “Thank you for coming, Babe.  What happened? 
Alyssa is freaking out in there.”

  “Come
on.  Let’s go in and calm her down.”  I say pushing my way in front
of them to get to her. 

Alyssa

It
feels like it’s been hours since the guys ran out after Jeff, but it’s only
been about fifteen minutes.  My heart is racing and I’m wearing out the
living room floor.  Julia closed the blinds blocking my view of the
parking lot and she’s refusing to let me go out after them.

“Jules,
if something happens to any of them, it will be my fault.”  I run my hands
through my hair and then pull it up making sure I don’t do it again.

“Relax.” 
She’s watching the door from our couch.  I can tell she’s nervous, too,
but she’s trying to make me feel better.  “Tommy isn’t a fighter, you know
that.  He just wanted to talk to him.  Nothing is going to
happen.  What you should be worried about is what the hell Leah is going
to do to me for letting the asshole in here.”  I stop pacing and look at
her.  That’s the second time she’s said that and she needs to tell me
why.  She sighs then continues something she obviously wasn’t supposed to
say.  “We all decided we’d do whatever we had to in order to keep Jeff
away from you.  You were a mess.  We were all so worried about you.”

“I’m
not a kid, Julia.  I can deal with this,” I say a little irritated.

“We
know that.  It’s what friends do, Alyssa.  You know you’d go after
Tommy, Mark, or Tyler if they did something like that to one of us.”  I
relax because she’s right.  It would actually be worse if it were one of
them because they all live here on campus.  Jeff doesn’t have to face
their wrath every day.  “It’s our job to look out for each other.” 
We are quiet for a little while before there is a pounding on the window.

I
jump again.  “Damn it!  Why does he always have to knock so loud?”

“I’ll
go open it.  You stay here and don’t open the door.  I have my
card.”  She runs out before I can protest leaving me standing alone in the
living room.  They finally come back in just when I’m ready to run out to
see what’s taking so long. 

Rocco
comes through the door first, handing Julia her keycard over his
shoulder.  He’s staring right at me and he looks upset.  I instantly
think something happened, but when I glance at Tommy, he’s smiling.

“What
happened?  Are you guys okay?”  I’m watching both of them
anxiously.  It doesn’t seem like there was any sign of a struggle. 

“We’re
fine.  I just talked to him,
Lyss
.  I
swear.  I don’t think he’ll bother you anymore.”  Tommy let go of
Julia’s waist and walked around Rocco who was still standing there watching
me.  He put his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.  I was
still tense, but hugged him back.

“Thanks,
Tommy.  I appreciate you coming,” I say.  He lets me go and sits with
Julia who has curled up on the couch behind me.

“That’s
what friends are for,” he says making Julia giggle.

“Told
you.” 

I
turn back to Rocco.  I wasn’t sure what to say to him because he was
probably wishing that he never offered to be my lab partner.  “I’m so
sorry that you had to see all of that.  Actually, I’m completely mortified
that you were here,” I admit with a sigh.  Then I turn away from him so he
cannot see my face and walk into my room.  I pick up the chair I knocked
over earlier.  He’s standing just inside my doorway when I put the chair
in place.

“You
have nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about, Alyssa.”  It’s the first
time I’ve heard him use my name in conversation.  Oddly, it has a calming
effect on me.  “That guy is a jerk and, truthfully, you deserve better
than that.”

“That’s
nice of you to say, but you really don’t know me,” I mumble sitting back down
in front of the computer.  I print two copies of the lab that we were
working on as he comes all the way in the room.  He turns his chair around
so he’s sitting on it backwards and leans his elbows over the back of it. 
I hand one copy to him then put the other inside the workbook before putting it
away.

“I
know enough about you to know that you deserve better than walking in on your
boyfriend with another girl and then him barging in here like he deserves your
forgiveness.”  I know he is being nice because he feels bad for me. 
Great.  More pity.

I
give him a small smile.  “Thanks”

“Are
you really alright?”  There’s something about the way he asks that makes
me want to answer him honestly.

“No,
but I will be.”

“I’m
really sorry he was such an ass and you are going through this.  I wish I
could do something.”  He pauses for a second and then the mischievous,
sexy as hell smile I noticed yesterday is back on his perfectly handsome
face.  “How about beer and pizza?”

I
laugh at him through the tears.  “I don’t think that’s part of the super
hero lab partner’s job description.”

“You’re
right.  It’s not.  However, it is part of the friend’s job
description,” he winks at me and stands up.  Just then, I hear Leah coming
through the front door.

“
Lyss
!” she’s yelling.  I know she’s pissed. 
“Where is she?”

“Just
be glad you don’t have to deal with what’s entailed in the roommate’s job
description,” I whisper and stand up to meet Leah in the living room.  I
hear him chuckling behind me.    

She
throws her arms around me pulling me tightly.  “Are you okay?  I’m
going to kill him,” she yells again.

“I’m
fine.”  I try to reassure her.  If she was here when Jeff was, this
night would have been a whole lot worse.

“Are
you sure?”  She pulls away without letting me go so she can look at my
face.  “If I need to, I’ll track him down and…”

“Really
Leah.  I promise.”  I cut her off before a visual of how vicious my
roommate can be fills my head.  She squeezes me again before letting me
go.  I know what she’s going to say next so I talk first.  “It’s not
Julia’s fault.”  She glares at me.

“We
discussed it.  She should have never let him in.”

“I’m
sorry, Leah.  He told me he talked to her and they made plans.” 
She’s sitting with her head in her hands.  It’s clear she feels bad
enough.  “I haven’t seen either of you today, so I didn’t know if…”

“
It’s
fine, Jules,” I tell her.  I squeeze Leah’s arm
and glare back at her so she knows what I’m thinking. 

“I’m
sorry, Julia.  I know it’s not your fault.  I’m just so pissed he had
the balls to show up here.  Especially since Alyssa’s been so much better
the last couple of days.”  Leah looks over to her. 

Erin,
who must have come in with Leah, comes over and puts her arm around my
shoulders.  “You sure you’re alright?” she whispers.  I nod
once.  “Come talk to me later if you need me.”  She’s still talking
low.  She knows I’m pretending since there are so many people in our tiny
apartment.  She goes over to her room where Mark is standing just inside
the doorway.  Even though they’ve only been dating a few months, they look
like they’ve been together forever.  She leans up against him and he
instinctively wraps his arm around her waist.

Someone
in the kitchen catches my attention.  I forgot Leah’s boyfriend was coming
back here tonight.  “Alright. Alright.  No more of this
bullshit.  It’s dinnertime and I’m starving.  What are we getting to
eat?”  Tyler is always hungry so we all laugh.  Leah goes over and
smacks his arm.  “Sorry, Babe, but a boy’s
gotta
eat!”

“Pizza,”
Rocco answers from my room.  They must not have realized he was here because
they all turn to him surprised.  Leah and Erin send me a quick look. 
“I’m ordering.  You guys in?”

“Yeah.”

“Definitely.”

Everyone
agrees.

“You
sure you want to hang around here?  I cannot guarantee the rest of the
night will be drama free,” I whisper to him ensuring no one else can hear.

His
sexy grin is back again.  “I should probably get popcorn, too,
then.”  I cannot help but laugh.  “I’ll be back.  I just have to
run by my apartment real quick.” 

He
asks what everyone likes on their pizza.  They all yell out their order
and put money in.  Rocco waves them away and heads out.

“Spill
it,” Erin says as soon as the door closes behind him.

“Leave
her alone, Erin.  The girl has had enough shit for one night,” Mark
hollers from behind her. 

“Don’t
any of you start,” Tommy warns looking directly at Leah.

“I
was just going to suggest we look to see if the hockey game is on TV.”
 Leah is holding up her hands mocking innocence.  No one believes
that is what she was going to say.   

Escaping
to my room is too tempting once my friends are distracted with something other
than me to talk about.  I am not going to make it much longer without
crying over tonight’s events and an audience isn’t necessary for that. 
Before climbing into bed, I pull out the extra blanket from my drawer since
it’s not quite cold enough to sleep with yet.  I wrap it around me, not
even trying to stop the tears that are filling my eyes. 

How
could Jeff show up here and act like everything could possibly go back to the
way it was?  What hurts the most is that he had been planning on
proposing.  He slept with some slut knowing that he was going to ask me to
marry him?  Jeff had been my savior from the asshole who tried to break me
and from the moment we started dating, I assumed marriage would be in our
future.  We talked about it too many times to remember.  The only
thing I’m left with is the harsh reality that because of the two of them, I’ll
probably never be able to let anyone get close to me again. 

There’s
a small knock at my door.  I’m hoping if I ignore it, whoever it is will
go away.  The click of the door opening and then closing again reminds me
how shitty my luck really is.  My head stays firmly planted on the pillow
where it fell.  Whoever it is will just have to deal with it.  That’s
what they get for coming in when they weren’t invited.  I feel the
mattress compress next to me as someone sits down.

“I
brought you something,” Rocco says.  That wasn’t expected.  The sound
of his voice makes me stop crying.  I look at him through the tears still
building despite me trying to resist them.  I still cannot get over how
attractive this guy is and wonder why seeing
him
next
to me makes me feel better.  He’s holding out a bottle of beer to me.

“Thanks,”
I say pulling myself up and grabbing a tissue from my dresser next to me. 
I wipe my face as best as I can. 

“Figured
you could use one.  Besides, you cannot eat pizza without beer.  It’s
illegal,” he offers an encouraging smile.

I
reach out to take it from him, but he pulls it back to open it before handing
it over.  I take a sip even though I’m not crazy about beer.

“I
usually have a Coke with pizza.”

He’s
quiet for a moment while he’s contemplating what to say next.  “I’m going
to help you get over this.  I’m going to help you learn how to let it go,”
he says.

“Look,
Rocco.  It’s really nice that you want to help, but I’ll be fine. 
Really.  I’m actually doing better than I was a couple weeks ago. 
Jeff showing up here tonight just caught me off guard.  I’m so grateful
that you went with Tommy tonight, that I now have the best lab partner ever,
that you ordered
pizza, that
you are here, but…”

“There’s
no way in hell I’m going to let a pretty girl be miserable over some jerk
because he was stupid enough to lose her.  Not for one more day,” he
interrupts shaking his head.  He stands up, holding out his hand. 
When I don’t take it, he raises his eyebrows and motions for me to take his
hand again.  I’m still processing him referring to me as pretty, but I
shake my head once and reach out to grab his hand.  “First thing to learn
about letting go is never refuse the help of a friend.  Now let’s go get
some pizza before they eat it all.” 

“I
just need to wash my face.  I’ll be right there.”

“Nice
try.  I’ll come with you.  If I let you go alone, you’ll lock
yourself in there and I’ll be forced to knock the door down.  You don’t
want to have to pay for that, do you?” 

“You
can be awfully irritating when you want to be, you know that?”  I look up
at him and wonder why he’s still holding my hand.  We walk over to the
bathroom door when he lets go to reach for my beer. 

“I’ve
been called a lot worse,” he smiles.  “Now give me that and hurry
up.  I’m going to be pissed if Tyler eats my piece.” 

I flip
on the light and grab a washcloth from one of the shelves next to the shower
stall.  I wet it with cold water and wipe my face easily, careful not to
screw up my mascara any more than I already have.  It’s the best it’s
going to get, so I leave the bathroom grabbing my beer from my babysitter and
head out to the living room to join my group of friends.  Shane, Troy, and
Logan have joined the crowd already in our small apartment.

“They
saw me grab the case of beer and heard me order pizza.”  He shrugged his
shoulder.  “They cannot help themselves.”  I just shake my
head.