Forever Altered (2 page)

“Um,
yes.  I do.”  I nervously open my workbook and try to figure out what
page the lab is on instead of why this guy recognizes me.

“I
was the guy who asked you about the Phillies because you were hanging up your
shirt.”  Then after a long pause he adds, “The lab is on page twenty
five.”  Shit! Can he read my mind, too?  Now I vaguely remember this
guy.  It was right after listening to a voicemail from Jeff.  He was
still begging for me to talk to him and I had been upset at the time.  The
only reason I went down to get my clothes when the timer went off was because
if you didn’t get your laundry out in an acceptable amount of time, someone
else would.  I really didn’t feel like being bothered by some stranger
even if he happened to be talking about my favorite baseball team.

“Oh,
right.”  He glances up and looks almost like he is offended that I didn’t
recognize him.  He goes back to what he is doing.  “I’m sorry,”
feeling the need to apologize.  “I was having a bad day.” I pause for a
second.  “Actually, it’s been a really bad month,” I admit reluctantly.

He
stops fussing with the microscope he is trying to set up and looks directly at
me again.  “Anything you want to talk about?”

 “So,
you’re a super hero lab partner and a shrink all rolled into one?” I inquire.

Rocco
lets out a small laugh and jokes, “I’ll just stick with ‘super hero lab
partner.’”  Then he mumbled something that sounded almost like ‘for
now.’  “So, you’re really bad at this, huh?”  I nod afraid he is
about to change his mind and head back to his old seat.  “Is that why your
old partner dropped?”

“Probably,”
I counter making him laugh more. 

“Alright,
then, how about I do this and you just record the stuff I tell you?”  He’s
still smiling, so hopefully he doesn’t think I’m a total idiot.

“Sounds
good,” I’m able to say.

I am
a little skeptical when forty-five minutes later the last empty line is filled
in on the worksheet.  There is still about an hour left in class. 
“That’s it?” I ask. We both begin to clean up the slides Rocco had made and
then explained to me as we viewed them under the microscope.  For the
first time all semester, I understood the experiment. 

“That’s
it,” he declares like it is no big deal.  I look around.  The rest of
the class is still working. 

“You’re
sure?”

“Positive.” 
He smiles that lopsided, make-my-breath-catch grin before continuing. “You
don’t believe me?  I haven’t gotten anything less than a B since the first
day of class,” he says pretending to be insulted. 

I
laugh at him and play punch him in the arm, which is firmer than I thought it
would be.  Damn, this guy is hot.  “Do you want me to copy all of the
data into your book for you?  I promise to make it neat,” I tease.

“No,
we can do it when we get together to write up the report.  No big
deal.”  He shakes his head then he walks away to put the microscope back
in the cabinet.  When he gets back to our table, he starts packing up his
bag. 

“Do
you want me to write it up since you basically did the entire experiment by
yourself?  All I did was write some stuff down.”

Rocco
seems nervous as he finishes packing up and pulls his bag onto his
shoulder.  I guess he didn’t trust his grade with someone who admitted to
having trouble in this class. 
Can't
say that I blame him, but it still feels crappy. All my life school work has
come easy and the one time I have trouble, it gets thrown in my face.

“No,
I don’t mind helping,” he manages to say as he starts walking towards the
door.  I follow without even thinking about it.

“I
could write it up and give it to you ahead of time to check it over, if you
prefer?”

He
instantly turns around with his brows drawn inward and clears up what he means.
 “I didn’t mean for that to sound like I thought you aren’t capable of
doing it.  I just meant you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

“You
should make me do something.  You did the whole lab while I just sat
there.”

He
smiles down at me as he puts his hand out gesturing for me to go first through
the door and down the hallway.  “You helped.  You wrote the stuff
down and you even managed to write it down correctly.  I kept an eye on
you.”

I
actually laugh a little despite the fact that he is making fun of me.  “I
happen to be a very good record keeper.”  That makes him laugh again.

“So,
when are you free to get together?”

“Well,
um, I’m done class tomorrow at five and I’m off on Fridays.  How about
you?”  He means to work on the assignment I keep chanting to myself. 
We make it to the front door of the building and he reaches out to open it for
me.  “Thanks,” I murmur. 

“No
problem,” he utters like it was no big deal.  “How about I swing by your
apartment around five-thirty, after your class tomorrow?”  Rocco glances
at me briefly before turning forward as we walk down the path toward the
apartment building, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 
Jeans that happen to look really, really good on him.  Thankfully he looks
away because my anxiety started again.  There wasn’t anyone home except me
on Thursdays at that time.  I don’t really know this guy and it would be
uncomfortable being alone with him.  He speaks again before getting an
answer.  “I’d tell you to come to my apartment, but I wouldn’t want you to
go to an apartment with a bunch of guys you don’t know.  And I’m pretty
sure your apartment is cleaner than ours.”

“Okay. 
Come to my apartment tomorrow at five thirty,” I agree.  I’ve seen my ex’s
apartment at his school.  Guys living on their own should not be allowed.

“I’ll
give you my cell number.  I don’t really check my room phone very
often.  This way if something changes, you can let me know.”

I
pull out my cell and punch his number into my contacts.  Then send him a
text so he has mine, too.  No reason to sit around all night if he has
something else to do.  That’s what I tell myself about giving him my number
anyway. 

Rocco’s
face lights up when he realizes what I did.  “Thanks,” is all he says and
he turns away from me again.

As
we come to the spot on the path that either leads to the residential side of
campus or to the main academic building, a bunch of guys are walking toward
us.  They apparently know Rocco.  “Hey, man.  We were just
heading to lunch.  You coming?” one of them calls as two others whisper to
each other staring at me.  I feel extremely uncomfortable knowing they are
talking about me.  Rocco must notice too because his shoulders and jaw
seem to tense and he moves to stand in front of me blocking my view of them, or
their view of me.  I wasn’t sure which. 

“Yeah,
I’ll go.”  He turns back to me and quietly says, “I’ll see you
later.  Let me know if anything changes.”

“Okay
and thanks for your help today.”  I hear the two guys chuckling and the
first guy looks over at them to see what is so funny.  Rocco simply nods
before turning to walk away.

As I
turn toward the steps Rocco says, “She’s just my lab partner.  Knock it
off, asshole.”  I don’t look back.  Hurt is probably all over my
face.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I just met this guy about an
hour ago.  Why would I feel insulted that he called me
just
his lab
partner?  That’s what I am, right?  I concentrate on the long flight
of steps in front of me careful not to fall on my face.  No need to give
those guys more to laugh about. 

Alyssa

I
walk around the front of the new, brick building trying to block out the last
five minutes of my morning.  It had warmed up quite a bit since being
outside a few hours earlier.  Maybe after going to the Dining Hall with
Leah, I could find a place to sit outside and get some homework done or start
the book she has been talking about.  Before heading up to my apartment, I
decide to check my mailbox on the main floor.  I hadn’t done that for a
while, not that anyone sends me anything.  No one really uses regular mail
anymore, so what’s the point?

The
building consists of two large wings, each of which are connected to a central
structure which houses the mailroom, other common areas, and the main
entrance.  I enter the office to the left of the main entryway, on the
side of the huge lounge with a big screen TV.  It takes me a few seconds
to dig my mailbox key out of my bag and get the metal mailbox open.  When
it opens, a bunch of colored envelopes fall all over the ground in front of me.
There are at least ten of them.  There must be a mistake, so I check the
name on all of them.  Nope, no mistake and all of them have the same
return address that makes me want to throw them in the trash.  Right
before tossing them in the can by the door, I reconsider.  With my luck,
someone would dig them out, so I decide to take them back to my room.  As
I’m heading out of the mail office, the girl who works there is coming in.

“You
must be mailbox one twenty-two,” she says as she looks at the pile of envelopes
in my hand.

“Yep. 
That’s me.  Sorry about all of this,” I mumble trying to walk passed her.

“I
was getting ready to look you up and deliver them to you.  You really
should check your mail more often.”

“I’ll
do that,” I say nicely even though she’s starting to annoy me.

“You
have a pretty awesome boyfriend if he’s always sending you cards.  How
romantic!”  She smiles at me and now I have a sudden urge to stab her in
the eye with my key.

“Ex-boyfriend,
actually,” I correct her.

“Oops. 
I’m sorry.  He must really want you back.  No one gets that much mail
in a month here.”  She’s embarrassed and now I feel bad.   Why
did my stupid conscience always pick the worst moment to show itself? 
This girl really needs to mind her own business, though.

“No
biggie.  Have a nice day,” I offer with a small smile, ignoring everything
she said after apologizing.

I am
heading toward the stairs to get to the second floor when my iPhone
buzzes.  Leah, Julia, and Erin are my only friends here at school who have
my cell number and they think I’m still in class, so it’s not them.  My
dad is at work and usually only calls or texts me at night.  I haven’t
really spoken to my friends from home since deactivating my Facebook account
right after breaking up with Jeff.  He’s the only one who it could possibly
be.  I may as well check it before the reminder beep goes off.  I
swing my backpack around and pull my phone out of the front pocket.  What
is displayed on the screen makes me almost miss the last step and I
stumble.        

That
was the most fun I’ve ever had in lab.  Thx.

Oh
my God!  Did Rocco seriously just text me?  Remembering his friends
were giving him a hard time about me, the thought it could be one of them
crosses my mind.  Did they see him give me his number?  I’m not sure
because I didn’t notice they were there until they started calling his
name.  There is no way I could text back if it were them, but what if it
was Rocco?  Would I want him to be texting me?  Before swiping my key
card in the door, I only send back a smiley face and then switch my phone to
silent.  If it wasn’t him, what comes back would probably be
humiliating.  A smiley face? How stupid!   

I go
inside of my apartment and Leah is sitting at our table finishing up her makeup
and watching a game show.  She looks up to me, then at the clock on the
DVD player underneath our small TV, then back to me.

“Alyssa,
what is that on your face?”  Oh no!  My hand not carrying the
envelopes goes right to my face trying to feel for something.  Was there
something on my face the whole time I was with Rocco?  She’s laughing at
me.

“What?”
I ask impatiently.

“You’re
smiling.  What’s got you in such a good mood, today?”  Feeling
relieved that is all she was referring to, I frown at her for causing about the
hundredth mini panic attack of the day.  She has seen my looks
before.  She ignores me and goes back to putting on her lipstick. 
Then she notices what’s in my hand.  “If what’s in your hand is what I
think it is and that’s the reason you’re smiling, I’m going to…”

After
what she just did, I should let her stay angry for a bit, but I don’t feel like
dealing with this.  I drop the envelopes on the table so she can see
them.  “Nope.  He is still a prick and I’m never speaking to him
again.”

“When
is this stupid son of a bitch going to get it?” she asks shuffling through the
envelopes.  “Seriously.  He hasn’t sent you this many cards since you
guys started school.  Are you going to open them?”

“No.
 There is nothing he could possibly have to say that I care to hear.”

“What
if there is something important?”

After
grabbing a cold bottle of Coke, I slide into the chair across from her. 
“What happened to you not wanting me to be happy with Jeff sending me stuff?”

“I
don’t.  Aren’t you just a little curious?”

“No. 
Go ahead and open them if you want.  Just don’t tell me anything that’s in
there.”  I drink half the bottle of Coke and try to distract myself from
looking at my phone. 

“I’m
impressed by your self-control.”  She laughs a little.  “Okay, now
back to why you were smiling when you walked through the door.”
               

Damn. 
Of course she wouldn’t forget.  “My Cell Bio lab partner dropped today.”

“And…” 
Sometimes I wish she’d mind her own business.  Not something best friends
do.  “I know how much you
love
that class so you aren’t fooling me. 
Keep going.”  She has finished up her makeup and is heading to our room
when she stops.  “Wait.  Why are you back so early?  Please tell
me you didn’t drop, too.”  I smile at her.  “
Lyss
,
you need that class.  You cannot just drop it!”

“I
didn’t drop the class.”  She sighs and continues on into our room.

“I’m
listening,” she calls from our bedroom.

“Dr.
Willis was telling me in front of the class that my partner dropped.  Some
guy, who apparently prefers to work alone, felt bad for me and volunteered to be
my new lab partner.  The reason why I was smiling, Miss Nosy Pants, was
because he’s actually pretty smart and helped me understand the lab.  It
feels great to have an idea what the hell is going on.  Anyway, he had the
lab done in no time and we were allowed to leave as soon as we were done.”

“He? 
Is that why you’re smiling?” she teases.

“Definitely
not.  I’ve completely sworn off men, remember?” I follow her into our room
and pull out a t-shirt to replace my sweatshirt.  Yes, that is how limited
my wardrobe is.  I start to head into the bathroom to change. 

“So,
who is he?”  She is seriously going to make me tell her.  Hopefully
she doesn’t know him.

“Um,
I don’t really know him.  Rocco, something or other.”  I try to
disappear into the bathroom, but she stops right in front of me. 

“Rocco
Matthews?”

“That
sounds familiar.” I’m trying to play it off.  Lucky me!  Of course
she knows who he is.  She is going to make something out of this and it is
most definitely not anything.

“Rocco
Matthews is your new lab partner?”  She’s looking at me like I have five
heads.  “So, what you are trying to tell me is not only is Rocco Matthews
your new lab partner, Rocco Matthews
volunteered
to be your lab
partner?”

“Yeah. 
I told you.  He must have felt bad for me.”  Now she has a huge
smile.  Yes, one of those annoying ear to ear grins like she just found a
cure for cancer.  “What?” I ask stepping around her to hide in the
bathroom.

“I
would be smiling, too, if Rocco Matthews was my lab partner.”  I chance a
small glance at her and she is still wearing the grin.  My face must turn
bright red because she starts to laugh, so I slam the door on her.  “Oh,
come on, Alyssa.  You can try to swear off men all you want, but Rocco
Matthews is
friggin
hot.”

“Yeah,
he is.”  Julia chimes in through the door just as I’m pulling my t-shirt
over my head. 

I
throw my head back and sigh.  I do not need them tag teaming me right
now.  After taking my time changing my shirt and stalling for what feels
like an hour, I know hiding in the bathroom all day isn’t an option.  I
open the door and hope they will have pity on me and let this pass.  Julia
is now perched on my bed and Leah is leaning against our dressers, which are
pressed together under the only window in the room, opposite of where the
bathroom is.   

“What?”
I ask a little irritated that they are both staring at me with stupid grins on
their faces.

“Leah,
here, tells me that Mr. Rocco Matthews ‘volunteered’ to be your lab
partner.”  She actually made air quotes with her fingers.  I feel
myself sigh again.  “And that you came home smiling.” 

“Seriously,
you two?  If you’d like me to go back to moping around, I’ll gladly
accommodate you.”  I occupy myself with emptying my backpack of my lab
workbooks, putting them away in the bottom drawer of my desk, and putting the
books for tonight’s class inside.  “I was very excited that I finally
understood what the hell was going on in lab today.  You know how hard
this class has been for me.  Yes, I get it.  Rocco Matthews is good
looking, but really?”

“Really,
what?” Leah asks before Julia interrupts.

“
Lyss
, I’ve seen Rocco around.  He doesn’t do anything
for anyone that doesn’t benefit him in some way.  From what I’ve heard, he
is a total player.  He’s never had a girlfriend as far as anyone knows…”

“Okay. 
Why are we talking about this?”  I have to interrupt before this goes any
further.  Why we are discussing what Rocco Matthews does or doesn’t do
with girls?  “What does this have to do with me being his lab partner?”

Julia
continues, “I just want you to be careful.  Rocco is a heartbreaker and
you’ve had more than enough of that to last a lifetime.  I hate seeing you
so upset over Jeff.  None of us want that to happen to you, again. 
We love you.”  She comes over giving me a hug and a kiss on the top of my
head.  I smile and hug her back because it’s nice to be loved and cared
about even if what she is worried about is not necessary.

“Thanks,
Jules.  I love you guys, too.  But, seriously, you have nothing to
worry about.  I am not interested in anyone.  I want absolutely
nothing to do with any guy right now.  I am just really happy that I may
actually get an A on a lab.”  That will get through to them.  They
know how much my grades mean to me.

“Okay,
but if you were going to rebound with anyone and not expect anything out of it,
Rocco Matthews is definitely the way to go.  Just saying.”  I can
only laugh at Julia because she has a one track mind.  With or without a
boyfriend. 

“I’ll
keep that in mind,” I say shaking my head and she heads out of my room.

“I’m
going to go eat with you girls, if you don’t mind,” she calls from her
room.  “I’m starving after drinking all night.  I’ll be ready in
five.”

“
Lyss
, what did you mean when you said, ‘Rocco Matthews is
good looking, but really?’” Leah seriously never forgets anything.

“Oh
come on, Leah,” I’m not going to get out of this easily.  “I’m not his
type.”

“Why
not?”

“Really? 
What is it with you?  I’m not going to date anyone.  It really
doesn’t matter.”  She’s just staring at me and her arms are crossed
against her chest for a few seconds before she sighs. 

“I
really hate what that asshole has done to you.  Jeff better hope I never
see him anywhere, EVER!”  I smile at her.  “Come on.  Let’s go
eat our allotment of crappy school food for the week.  Julia, we’re
leaving, let’s go,” Leah grumbles.  I hope that is the last conversation
we ever have about Rocco Matthews.