Forever and Almost Always (26 page)

“Yes. What happened?”

I opened my mouth to tell him, but I honestly didn’t know what happened. “Um, I don’t know. The nurse should be in here in a minute. She can tell you.”

His right eye opened and I sucked in a deep breath. His eyes searched my face, for what I wasn’t sure. “I’m so sorry, Charlee.”

I shook my head in disbelief. He was seriously worried about me, when he was the one in the ICU. “I know, Dax. Don’t even worry about it right now. Just worry about getting better.”

“Charlee, we-“

“Look who is finally awake. How are you feeling?” I let out a loud sigh as the nurse came walking in.

“My head hurts.”

“Well that’s normal given your condition.”

“What happened?”

“You were in a car accident with your wife. You weren’t wearing your seat belt, and you were ejected from the car through the windshield.”

“Rachael? Oh my god, is she okay?”

“Your wife is fine. Fortunately, she
was
wearing a seat belt, so she had minimal injuries. As far as I know, she just had a bad headache and a small laceration to her chest from the seat belt catching after the impact.”

“Oh good. Is she here?”

I slowly pulled my hand from his and sat back against the hard chair. I knew how selfish I was being, but it hurt knowing that all he could do was think about Rachael when I was sitting right here. It was understandable, given the fact that she
was
still his wife, but that didn’t lessen the blow it took to my ego. She said he loved me, but in all honestly, I was beginning to get the feeling that he had actually fallen in love with his wife.

The nurse continued to fill him in on what happened and Dax’s current state, but I didn’t hear a single word she said. He didn’t try to reach for me. He didn’t even try to talk to me, or look at me briefly, and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. When you get married, you say for better and worse, but what if I couldn’t handle worse?

About ten minutes later, the doctor came in to speak to Dax and he still hadn’t made any attempt to keep me in the know. So I stood, grabbed my purse and walked out of his room. He didn’t call for me, and I’m not sure I would’ve stopped even if he would have. When I got to the nurse’s station, and went to turn the corner, I felt a small hand grab my elbow. I turned unprepared for who was grabbing me.

“Sometimes it just takes time.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Come with me.”

I looked down at the petite nurse’s name badge, wanting to make our conversation a bit more personalized. “Look Tracy, I’m not sure what you want to say, but-“

“Just follow me, Charlee.”

When we stopped in front of a coffee maker, I was grateful. There were too many things running through my head, and I was in serious need of caffeine. Tracy poured herself a cup and then handed one to me. She led me over to the small table in the corner of the room and took a seat.

“I know it’s hard. Sometimes it just takes a little while for patients to come around.”

“He doesn’t even care that I’m here.”

“He does, I know that much. I was here when he first came in, and the only thing he kept saying was, Charlee. He asked for you every time he was coherent. I watched as his wife held his hand, hoping that he would ask for her, but he never did. When he asked about her just now that was the first time he has even said her name. I don’t know your story, but I know love when I see it. He loves you. As much as you don’t want to admit it, he
does
love you. I talked to Rachael before she left. She told me to let you see him. Usually we only let immediate family and spouses in the ICU, but she insisted that I allow you up here. That’s saying something.”

I shook my head. I heard what she was saying, but Dax’s actions were proving otherwise. “He’s the only man I’ve ever loved. From the first day I saw him, I knew he was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It’s been a rough road, and it’s extremely complicated, but…she let him go. She gave him to me, like he was some prize to be won. Who does that?”

Tracy placed her hand on top of mine. “Someone who knows that they don’t stand a chance. I know that feeling all too well, and it’s not fun. I’m sure she knew the love that you two share. Sometimes it’s easier to walk away than it is to fight, knowing that you’ll lose. Like I said, just give him some time.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“As long as everything goes well overnight, he should be on the road to recovery in no time.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding when she said that. “How do you do it? How do you see people like this, on the cusp of death practically, and still find it in yourself to be positive? Because right now, I’m having a hell of a time being positive.”

“It’s my job. I’ve seen some of the worst things and some of the best. When someone survives something horrible, it makes you look at life a little bit differently. Dax isn’t dying, Charlee. I’m not going to lie, he had some major trauma, but the surgeon feels confident that the swelling in his brain will go down and he will be just fine.”

My eyes shot up to hers. “He has swelling in his brain?”

“I’m sorry, I thought you heard the doctor talking to him?”

“No, I was preoccupied.”

“Do you want me to tell you all of his injuries?” I nodded and closed my eyes as Tracy broke it all down for me. “Basically his brain started to swell, and they had to drill a small hole to give it room to breathe. His left eye was swollen as well, and when they finally were able to open it, there were tiny shards of glass that had scraped the cornea. Those are the worst of his injuries. All the other ones are superficial and just need time to heal. His left arm was sprained but not broken, and his shoulder was dislocated, but we got it back in place. Other than that, he will be fine. His body just needs time to heal.”

“Can I go back and see him now?”

“Let’s go.”

As we neared his room, I tried to slow down, but Tracy pushed me forward. I knew I was only prolonging the inevitable, but I just felt like I needed more time. Dax was wide-awake as I entered the room. I stood at the end of his bed, wanting more than anything to go to him, but I needed him to want me there.

“Charlee. Come here.”

I tried to smile as I made my way over to the chair next to him, but it was a half-hearted attempt, and he noticed immediately.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” I hesitantly took his hand and pressed my lips to the back of it. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. How are
you?”

“I’ve been better.”

“How did you get here so fast? How did you even know?”

“Rachael called me, and I moved back.”

“What? How long ago? Why didn’t you call me?”

“Calm down, Dax. I moved back about a week ago. I got a promotion at work, and that meant moving back here. And, I didn’t call because you’re married.”

I tried to pull my hand out of his grasp, but he only squeezed it tighter. He reached for my chin to raise my head up and look at him. It pained me to see the hurt behind his eyes, but the pain was nothing compared to how I felt knowing that he had been with her every minute since he left me. He didn’t know what Rachael did, or that she walked away from him, but I also didn’t want to be the one to hurt him any further.

Chapter Forty-One

Dax

I was having the damnedest time trying to fathom what she was saying. She moved back? How did I not know this? She was pulling away from me. She was pulling back physically and emotionally, but there was no way I was about to let her run away from me. Not this time.

“I know I’m still married, Charlee. I know that, but we were headed to the courthouse to finalize our divorce. I’m sorry I didn’t call you after I left. I had to do this on my own. I couldn’t ask you to wait, or leave her because of you. It wouldn’t have been fair to any of us. I had to do this on my own terms, and if you can’t understand that, then I don’t know where we go from here.” The pain meds were starting to kick in and my eyes were getting heavy. I tried to keep my focus on her, but I could barely stay awake.

“I get it, Dax and respect you for making this decision on your own. How did we even get here? What we have, or had, is amazing. I just don’t know how we’re supposed to get past this. I love you, Dax, with all of my heart. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I didn’t wish for you to show up on my doorstep, or call me begging for me to come back, but eventually I had to realize that it may never happen.”

“Are you saying you’ve moved on?”

She leaned forward resting her head on my stomach as she held my hand. “No Dax, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, how do we start over?”

I brought my other hand up to her face and stroked her hair. “We both decide if it’s what we really want, and if it is, then we make the decision to let the past go, together.” Her face lit up at the idea, and I smiled in return. “There has never been anybody else for me, Charlee. You’ve always been my forever. I hate to bring this up, but did you happen to see Rachael when you got here?”

She closed her eyes as she sighed. I could see the tears forming and I wanted more than anything to be able to be the one to comfort her.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Did she say anything?”

Charlee squeezed her eyes tight before she opened them and sat up. She took my hand and brought it up to her lips, pressing them lightly against my skin. I let my eyes flutter shut with the mixture of medication and desire flowing through my veins. The smell of her vanilla lotion assaulted my senses, but this time I didn’t despise the smell. The smell was actually soothing and it instantly became one of my favorites. She was beautiful. When I opened my eyes and she was still sitting there, looking at me with that adoring look, I found her to be the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on. Her face went from adoring to fearful, and I really started to worry about what she was about to tell me.

“She told me she was walking away. She told me that we belong together and that she wouldn’t stand in our way. She left, Dax. I’m so sorry I have to be the one tell you.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Jesus, Charlee. By the look on your face, I thought it was going to be something terrible.”

“Dax, I just told you that your wife basically gave you to me.”

“She didn’t give me to you. I was never hers to give away. I told you, we were headed to the courthouse to finalize our divorce. Now could you please shut up and give me a kiss? I’ve been waiting since the minute you walked through that door. I’m a patient man, but, oh who are we kidding? We both now that when it comes to you, I’m anything
but
patient.” She was hesitating, and I was growing impatient. “Woman, if you don’t get over here, I swear I will try and get out of this bed. Do you really want to play around with my life?”

She slowly stood from her chair and leaned over. I could feel her warm breath caress my skin and I found myself pulling her head closer to mine. When our lips touched, electricity shot through me. Desire overwhelmed me, and I took advantage of her while I could. I felt her melt into me as my tongue slid across her lower lip. She granted me access to her mouth and our tongues moved in unison. God how I had missed her. She tasted sweet and every other care in the world faded away as she consumed me.

“I hate to interrupt, but we need to take you for one more scan to make sure everything is still looking good. Hopefully we can get you out of the ICU and into your own room downstairs.”

Charlee pulled back, flushed because of what we were caught doing. “Thank you, Tracy.”

“No problem. Glad you two made up.”

“There was never a question.” Charlee chimed in. She bent over and gave me a sweet kiss. “Okay, I’ll see you in just a few. I’m going to go grab something to eat in the cafeteria, but I’ll be back.”

She started to walk out the door, but I couldn’t let her leave without saying how I felt. “Hey Charlee?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Dax.”

We had just gotten to the room where they do the CAT scan, when Tracy was suddenly in front of me. “She’s a keeper. You better take care of that one.”

“I will. I promise.”

When we got back up to my room, Charlee was nowhere to be found. My heart began to race, thinking that she smartened up and finally left my ass, but then she suddenly appeared. Her long blonde hair swung over her shoulder as she came to a stop in the doorway, her electric blue eyes meeting my gaze. This was the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with. This was the girl I was going to have babies with, and this was the girl who made my life worth living.

Chapter Forty-Two

Charlee

“Can you two please be careful with that? And stop screwing around.” I swear Trevor and Dax were like infants when they were together.

“Calm down baby. We’re not going to break anything.”

I slapped Dax on his shoulder, as I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. “If you break any of my stuff while moving your shit in here, I swear I’ll hurt you.” I joked.

“You love me too much to hurt me.”

“True. Please just be careful.”

“We will.” They both shouted as they continued moving my curio cabinet to the other room.

“I swear those two were dropped on their heads as kids.” Taylor and I both broke out in laughter. “So, everything you ever wanted?”

I grabbed a few books from the bookshelf to move to the other room. “Yeah, everything I ever wanted.”

“Hey Charlee, did you ever tell Dax about the baby?”

I dropped the books I was holding, barely missing my toe. “Taylor, shut up. No, he hasn’t asked and it just hasn’t come up yet.”

“Charlee. Don’t you think you should tell him?”

“Taylor, I really don’t want to talk about it anymore. And, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything.”

Taylor walked over and wrapped her arms around me. “You know I would never tell. I was just asking.”

I hugged her back and finished putting the rest of the books in a box. I knew the question would eventually come up, but it had only been a month since Dax had been out of the hospital, and I wasn’t ready to make our blissful life complicated again. Dax had to be in the hospital for a few weeks to fully recover and then he was required to do physical therapy for six months.