Forever Baby (27 page)

I hug him tightly and feel at peace. For this brief moment, my insecurities are quiet, and I am basking in absolute serenity. Andres lifts me up, and I circle my legs around his waist. Holding me firmly to him, his loving lips find mine, kissing me slowly. My fingers run through his hair, and I pull his face toward mine, needing to feel closer. His tongue runs carefully across my lips and slips inside my mouth, tenderly exploring and twisting in a delicate dance with my own. Pressure radiates from my chest with the love I have for this man. I am wrapped in his strength as his strong hands hold me tight and travel up my back and into my hair, pushing me closer. His lips leave mine to make a path of kisses down my neck, across my collarbone, and over my shoulder.

“I love you so much,” he groans into my ear.

I whimper when his mouth finds my neck again, sucking with abandoned longing. Removing one hand from my hair, he runs it across my ribs and down my side. He stops at the side tie of my bikini bottom. He pulls the string, releasing the bow securing my suit. Reaching his hand around to my other side, he pulls that bow, and the material falls to the sand, leaving me exposed to the cooling night winds dancing across the Atlantic.

I throw my head back, moaning, when his fingers find my center and do what they do so well—exploring, cherishing, loving me. With my legs still wrapped around Andres while one of his strong arms secures me, my senses are on overload. My skin is heated from his arm holding me tight. The sounds of the waves coming into the shore, the feel of the breeze against my sensitized skin, my damp hair swaying against my back in time to the cadence of his fingers entering me, and the adorations of love whispered in his smooth, sexy voice send me reeling. My body explodes with warmth. My heart races, and my nipples harden as the rush of ecstasy resonates from my core. Dropping my arms from around his neck, my hands fall to my breasts. As I pull my nipples, the surges of pleasure roll through me, and I cry out.

I barely feel his fingers leave me before he pushes down his shorts. I secure my arms around his neck once more, and his strong hands grab on to each side of my hips. He lifts me up slightly to bring me down onto his waiting erection. I moan as he fills me to my limit. Andres hisses through his teeth as his arms start a divine rhythm of lifting and dropping me onto him. He controls the movements, and I close my eyes. I relish in the pleasure filling my body and the love filling my soul.

On the beach under the moonlight, we spend hours professing our love through our words and touch. We connect with the gentle fierceness of our passion until our bodies are consumed with sated exhaustion.

To say that my week with Andres at the beach house was heaven on earth would be an understatement. I loved every second I spent with him in and out of bed. He made me feel completely cherished as we walked on the beach, swam in the ocean, and talked for hours while wrapped in each other’s bodies.

Nadia threw Nolan and me a grand good-bye party that started at the house and ended at our favorite club. I tried to enjoy it, but even liquid courage couldn’t take the edge off of my melancholy mood over my impending departure.

Nadia and the guys said good-bye to me at the house, allowing Andres to take me to the airport. Nolan made his way through security without me, leaving Andres and me to say our good-byes alone—well, as alone as one can be in a busy airport.

Tears are streaming down my face, and panic is exploding through my every pore. “I love you. Please wait for me.”

Andres wipes my tears away and places gentle kisses on my tear-stained face. “Of course I will. Don’t cry, baby. This isn’t good-bye. Think of it as, see you later.”

“Please wait for me, please wait for me, please wait for me,” I whisper my mantra over and over, barely keeping my hysteria in check as I rest my forehead against his chest.

Andres holds my face firmly between his strong hands. “Olivia, look at me.”

I stare into his captivating eyes.

“I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere,” he says, emphasizing each word. “You own me. Nothing is going to change that. I will see you over Christmas break. It is less than five months away. It will go quickly, I promise. Please don’t cry.”

I bury my face into his chest, and I sob. Andres wraps his strong arms around me, hugging me to him, as he kisses my hair. I raise my head and find his lips. Our kiss becomes urgent and passionate. I tell him how much I love him and need him through my kiss. I kiss him with all the passion from this summer and with all my hopes for the future. I kiss him as if I will never kiss him again. If I know anything about the future, I know that it is not guaranteed. Nothing is.

Andres pulls away. I can see his lungs expanding through his T-shirt as he struggles to find his breath. My heart is racing, and I, too, am breathing heavily. A choking sob comes to the surface. Andres grasps my hands firmly in his.

Through his raspy breaths, he says, “Baby, you have to go. I don’t want you to miss your plane.”

“I know.” I stare at his face, the face that I have grown to love so much, and I try to commit every tiny detail to my memory. Giving him a feeble smile, I manage to say, “See you soon.”

“See you soon, beautiful. Call me when you land, okay? I love you, Olivia.”

I step back toward the security line, not releasing my grip on his hand. Our arms are outstretched, and my fingers desperately cling to his, wanting to remain in contact. When my final finger slips from his grasp, I feel the sting on my skin from the loss of his touch. My tearful eyes don’t leave his as I walk through the security line. His penetrating stare seers a deeper impression on my soul. The security guard thankfully spares me embarrassment and doesn’t acknowledge my current state of despair. On the other side of the metal detectors, I gaze at Andres, and before I can no longer see him anymore, I blow him a kiss. His hands are in his pockets, and as I round the corner toward my terminal, I see his chin fall to his chest.

My legs feel shaky, and I could fall to the floor and weep, but then Nolan’s arm wraps around me, securing me on my feet.

He pulls me close to his side and kisses my hair. “I’ve got you, baby girl.”

I lean my head into Nolan’s side, and we walk to our gate.

I sit in silence, peering out the window of the plane. I am vaguely aware of Nolan’s thumb stroking the top of my hand. As we ascend into the clouds and I see Seville becoming smaller beneath me, I wonder why I am experiencing such despair. Of course I will miss Andres, but I will see him in five months. I will be busy with work and school during that time. I will have Cara and Nolan, and they will keep me busy and happy.
It’s not good-bye but see you later.

Then, why do I feel so dreadfully empty? I experienced the best moments of my life this summer, and I can’t quiet the sinking fear that I will never feel that level of love again. I believe that Andres loves me, and I believe that we are meant for each other, but I can’t shake this internal doubt I have. I need to silence the nagging voice in my head that keeps reminding me of my flaws, my insecurities, and all the things that could go wrong. I need to push this negativity from my mind. It is not going to help me get through these next five months.

I am going to focus on the amazing memories and stay in the light. Stay positive. I will see Andres again, and we will have our happily ever after. I know it. I just know it.

Cara throws my favorite little black halter dress at me.

“Ow,” I state dryly although I know this is a silly reaction since it didn’t hurt at all. I’m lying on my bed in my yoga pants and a T-shirt amid a mess of gossip magazines and granola bar wrappers.

“Enough moping,” Cara says as she starts our favorite pre-party song mix on my iPod. Flo Rida’s “Club Can’t Handle Me” plays from my speakers. “Get off of your bed. Take a shower. Get cute. We are going out.”

Flicking my dress to the side, I continue to lie facedown on my bed with my head resting on my hands. “I’m not moping. I just don’t feel like going out.”

Cara lets out an exaggerated laugh. “Not moping my ass, Livi. You’ve been home for a week, and you have barely left the house. Despite my begging, you have refused to go out with me. We only have a couple of weeks left before school starts up, so we need to take advantage of the rest of our summer.” She sits down next to me on the bed and moves a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Listen, I know you miss Andres. I get it. I do. But lying around, feeling sorry for yourself, isn’t going to help anything. I actually think you would feel better if you got back into your regular routine—you know, keep yourself busy?”

I know she has a point, but all I want to do is fall into a coma in my bed and wake up in five months when I can see Andres again after Christmas. I haven’t experienced a long-distance relationship or the overwhelming emotions that go along with it before—hell, I haven’t experienced being in love like this before.

I miss him terribly. I miss the way his deep blue eyes would sparkle when they looked at me. I miss how I could peer into those midnight blues and see all the love he feels for me. I miss the way he made me laugh. I miss his soft, strong hands touching me, sending shivers through to my core, setting fire to all my senses. I miss his smooth lips. God, I miss his lips. I miss feeling his warmth around me. When I close my eyes, I can almost imagine the way I felt when he would wrap his strong arms around me and pull me close. My body aches for everything about him, body and soul.

I know I am throwing myself a major pity party here, but it simply isn’t fair that I finally fell in love—real, deep true love—and it has to be with someone who is literally an ocean away. My heart aches, and my sadness is all-encompassing. I feel like going out with Cara and having something resembling fun would be a slap in the face to my sorrow, not giving my misery the time it deserves.

“I don’t know, Cara. I can’t.”

“Please, Livi. Please? I miss you.” She flashes her perfect smile, and her eyes are slanted in warning. “Plus, do you think that Andres really wants you to lie around, feeling sorry for yourself?” She grabs my iPhone and holds it up. “Do I need to FaceTime him and show him that you are refusing to get out of bed while drowning yourself in celebrity gossip and convenience snacks? I think he would side with me on this.”

Exasperated, I sigh, “Ugh, fine! I will go!”

I grab my phone from her hand. Cara always gets her way, and she knows it. She is very persuasive when she wants to be.

“Yay! It is the best night of the week—Greek night at Theo’s Bar! I will text Nolan and let him know you decided to get out of bed!”

“Fine. I am going to hop in the shower.”

After taking a long, hot shower, putting on my favorite going-out dress, and applying my makeup, I do feel marginally better. Nolan arrives as Cara is placing three lemon-drop shots on the counter.

“Sweet. Perfect timing,” Nolan says as he enters the kitchen. “Hey, beautiful.” He walks over and swoops me up into a hug, lifting me off the floor. “I have missed you this week.” He kisses me on the forehead.

I bury my head into Nolan’s chest, comforted by his strong arms around me. “I just needed to feel sorry for myself for a while. I missed you, too,” I say as I hug him tight.

“Okay, shots!” shouts Cara. As we all pick up a shot glass and clink them together, she says, “To best friends and bar nights!”

“Cheers!” we all say in unison.

We lick the sugar off of our shot glasses and tip our heads back. After taking the vodka down our throats, we finally grab our lemons and suck.

“Yum!” exclaims Cara. “Let’s go!”

Greek night at Theo’s is the same as always. A crowd of scantily clad sorority girls and beer-in-hand fraternity guys gather in this hole-in-the-wall bar every week. I see the same faces I did before I went away for the summer, minus some of the seniors who have now gone off into the world. I am greeted with hugs and waves from all the people I have gotten to know over the past three years. Coming back to a life that hasn’t seemed to change at all in my absence feels surreal, especially considering the experiences I lived over the summer have changed me so profoundly.