Forever (Cruiser & Lex, Book 3) (9 page)

Cruiser

Bored as hell.

I throw a ball to the ceiling. Watch as it bounces off it and lands on my stomach. Then I do it again. And again. Like this is the best game in the world.

Maybe I should have gone to school today. My arm was hurting like hell and Dad said I should sit this one out. I figured there was no point in wasting my time there anyway because Rey and I will be moving back in with Mom. ‘Least, I hope so. Rey could chicken out. I hope he doesn’t. Living here sucks.

I pull myself off my bed and get down on my knees in front of the dresser. Might as well start packing. Maybe if Rey has doubts and sees our stuff packed, he won’t back out. Except, it’s not so easy doing this with one arm. All I’m doing is making a mess of everything as I try to lay them in the suitcase.

Screw this.

I get up and leave the apartment. I walk. I don’t know where, but I just continue on. I haven’t explored the area. Rey was right—there isn’t anything here.

My legs stop. Damn. What the hell am I doing here? This is where those assholes attacked me.

I bet the guidance counselor—Carter or whatever—would say my subconscious or some crap brought me here. Because I need closure or something. I can’t lie and say I haven’t been having more nightmares. I don’t want to think about them, though.

I should leave. Am about to. But something makes me stay. I look at the street. I wonder if my blood is there. Did people come and clean it up? Or did they let the rain wash it away?

My eyes move farther down. Yeah, that’s where I got knocked off my bike. I didn’t know back then, but the thing crashed into the wall. Got totaled. Rey told me it’s sitting in the shop. I haven’t gone to look at it. Can’t bear to see the damage. It was given as a gift to me from Gran and Gramps because I made such good progress when I lived with them. Now it’s gone. No, maybe not gone, but I’m too scared to find out.

Though random cars pass, I sit down on the ground. Where my bike crashed. I touch the ground, feel the heat beneath my hand. I wonder how long I was lying here until someone found me. Could I have bled to death?

The image of me sprawled on the street runs across my eyes. Hell, I must have looked pretty screwed up. I don’t want to live in this neighborhood. Don’t want to pass this area every day and get hit with the memories. They’re gone. Over. Done. I don’t want to think about them anymore. Rey better not change his mind. Or else I’m gonna kick his ass. With one arm.

It’s moments like this where I got no choice but to think. About life, the future. Every damn thing. Will Rey finally return to the guy he was? What’s going to happen to my parents? Part of me is in denial that they’re separated. Thinks Dad’ll realize he really does love Mom and will move in. How will Jamie’s procedure affect Rosie? What future do I want with Lex? One where we both can live our dreams and live happily ever after. But I know that’s not possible. I’d give up the Navy in a heartbeat. Let her live her dream because I don’t need any life other than the one where she’s in it. But I know she won’t be cool with that. I know I’ll disappoint Gran and Gramps. And if I choose not to go to the Navy, what the hell will I do with my life? Go to college? Have a career? I can’t see myself having any sort of career other than the Navy.

Damn these thoughts. I don’t want to think about this stuff. Don’t want to stress. I just want to live in the present and be happy. I want to think about my T. Rex, of what she has planned after school. I don’t really care what, as long as we’re together.

I stand up and get on the sidewalk. Keep my eyes on this spot for a few minutes. This area is part of my past. I hope I won’t have to look at it ever again.

When I get back home, I drop down on the couch and turn on the TV. There’s nothing good on. I lie down and stare at the celling.

I guess I must have dozed off, because the next thing I feel is someone shaking me. Smells like Rey. I push him away. “Sleeping.”

“Cruise, get up!”

“Let me sleep.”

“You’ve been sleeping all day! I need to take you somewhere. Lex’s orders.”

My eyes shoot open. “Lex?”

He’s got this jealous-yet-happy-for-me look.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

He tugs my arm. “Let’s go!”

He hauls me off the couch and out the door.

Lex

“Hurry up,” I tell Dani, my heart racing. “Rey told me he just picked Cruiser up.”

She tightens her hands on the steering wheel. “I’m not risking a ticket for you and your boyfriend.” Her tone is light.

I bounce in my seat. “I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

“We’ll get there,” she assures me. “Just relax.”

I can’t. I need this date to go perfect. I want it to be special for both Cruiser and me. Romantic and memorable. The last time we did something like this was at our one-month anniversary. Cruiser gave me such an amazing evening. I know what I have planned won’t top his, but I hope he’ll appreciate it as much as I appreciated what he did for me.

Dani slows down when we reach the beach and parks the car. I scramble out and hurry to the trunk for the picnic basket. As soon as we left school, she and I raced to the grocery store next door to buy the food and drinks. I spoke to Coach Lewis during my lunch break and told her the truth—that I wanted to do something special for my boyfriend. I could have lied and told her I wasn’t feeling well, but I know how much the squad means to her and I didn’t want to lie to her like that. I hoped she’d understand how important this was for me, and I was so shocked when she smiled and told me to have a good time. Maybe she doesn’t feel as stressed because our next meet isn’t for another few weeks. Or maybe she knows what it’s like to be in love. I promised her I’d be committed to every single practice after today. She seemed satisfied with that.

I just hope everything goes well. I want it to be perfect. Cruiser took me on a picnic on our first date, and I thought it would be perfect to take him on one. Because this is a new beginning for us, just like it was the last time. Putting our pasts behind us and starting fresh.

Dani and I walk around the beach, searching for the best location. Away from the kids building sandcastles or chasing each other, away from the surfers, away from the people who are sunbathing. I dig into the basket and pull out the blanket we bought at a cheap store a few blocks away from the grocery store. We bought the basket there, too, and it looks pretty cheap, but I couldn’t find anything better. I place it in the center of the blanket.

“Looks all set,” Dani says. “I need to get to karate. Let me know if you need a ride back.”

I hug her. “Thanks for all of this.”

“No problem. Have a great time.”

Once she leaves the beach, I sit down and cross my legs. Rey texted me fifteen minutes ago. They should be here any minute. I yank off my ponytail holder and comb my fingers through my hair, hoping to make it look somewhat good. I didn’t have a chance to style it this morning because of what happened with Rosie. I texted Mom earlier and asked her if she’d pick up Rosie. She told me she would. I have a feeling she wasn’t so thrilled about it because she wants Rosie to get used to taking the bus, but I’m glad she agreed.

My whole body perks up when I see two guys walking in the distance. The same height and hair color, though one is cut short and the other sweeps his shoulders. And one has an arm in a sling. Cruiser and Rey. My heart thumps in anticipation.

As soon as Cruiser sees me, he sprints toward me. I get up and run toward him. When we’re only a few feet away from each other, he stops and holds out his good arm. I throw myself at him and hug him tight. He buries his nose in my hair. I can’t help but laugh. We’re acting as though we haven’t seen each other in months.

“Missed you,” he says.

“Missed you more.”

“Never in a million years.”

We pull apart and kiss. Then I look at Rey, who is standing behind us. “Thanks for bringing him here, Rey.” I walk over and hug him. He’s stiff at first, like he’s not used to my touch. Then his arms slowly come around me.

“No problem,” he says. “You two lovebirds have fun.”

“I started packing,” Cruiser tells Rey. “Might want to continue.”

He nods before walking off.

“Packing?” I ask Cruiser.

He takes my hand. “I’ll tell you about it soon.” He looks around. “Why are we meeting here?”

“Because I have a surprise for you.”

His eyes fill with curiosity and delight. “A surprise for me?”

I nod and lead him to the basket. Cruiser stops dead in his tracks and stares at it. “A picnic?”

“To symbolize our new relationship,” I tell him. “Our first date was the beginning of our relationship. I want this to be a new beginning, too.”

Cruiser wraps his arm around me and hugs me tight. “I love it. I love you.”

“Thanks. I wanted to do something special for you.”

“You don’t have to, darlin’. You’re special enough.”

My knees grow weak. “Watch it or I might melt into a puddle at your feet.”

His chest vibrates as he laughs.

“Come.” I pull him to the blanket, and we sit down. I open the basket and start taking out the food. I wish I had time to cook it myself, but the whole plan was last minute. I hope everything tastes good.

“Mmm, cold cut sandwiches,” Cruiser says.

“And yummy salads.”

“And awesome-looking dessert.”

“And don’t forget the drinks,” I say.

“Of course.”

I hand him a plate, a cup, and utensils. We bite into our sandwiches. Not the greatest out there, but decent enough. “Sorry about the quality,” I say.

“Are you kidding? I’m so starving I can eat a horse.”

“Are they not feeding you at your new school?” I tease.

“Didn’t go to school.”

“Oh.”

He gestures to his arm that’s in the sling. “Been acting up. Dad advised me not to go. I was bored out of my mind.”

“Sorry about the pain. Should I kiss it?”

“Hell yeah. Your lips are magic.”

We both laugh.

“Lame,” Cruiser says. “Let’s blame it on the pain.”

I hold my hair back behind my neck as I lean forward so it doesn’t get in the food. I take my time as I move closer to his sling, wanting to build up the anticipation, and to drive Cruiser a little crazy. I hear him intake a sharp breath. When I’m only a few inches away, I position my lips a little higher, to the area above his sling. To his exposed skin, the part not in the cast. I kiss it. Then I sit up and smile to him. “Not exactly on the wound, but I wanted some skin.”

“My skin gives you a very big thank you.” He lowers his sandwich, then raises his index finger, motioning for me to move closer to him. He taps his lips. We both get on our knees and bend over the food, our lips reaching for one another. I give Cruiser a quick peck because I’m worried he’ll lose his balance. He frowns, then pouts.

“You’ll fall,” I tell him.

“Will not.”

“You might.”

“Will not.”

I laugh.

“Come sit next to me,” he says.

I shuffle over until I’m at his side. Cruiser shifts so he’s even closer to me, our bodies touching. He puts some salad into his plate and lifts a forkful toward his mouth. But he doesn’t eat it. He holds it out before my lips. I close my mouth over the spoon. The dressing drips down my chin, and I quickly grab a napkin to wipe it away. “Pretty crappy,” I say. “Sorry.” So much for the perfect picnic.

Cruiser takes a bite out of the salad. “Not bad. But then again, I can eat a horse.”

“Hey.” I take his fork, gather some salad, and bring it to his mouth. This reminds me of our one-month anniversary, when we fed each other in the same manner. And just like the last time, Cruiser manages to sneak in kisses on my fingers as he eats the food. “Cruiser.”

He kisses the bridge of my nose. “You taste much better than the salad.”

I giggle as I slap his shoulder.

We continue eating. The dessert is devil’s food cake, which actually tastes pretty good. When we’re done, we stash the garbage in the basket to throw out later.

“So I have news,” Cruiser says. “Looks like Rey and I are moving back in with my Mom.”

It takes every ounce of me to hold myself back from shrieking in excitement.

He chuckles. “Don’t look so glum.”

“I’m so excited!”

“Me, too.”

Now I won’t feel like there’s a huge wall between us.

“So, T. Rex. Whatup?”

“What do you mean?”

He shrugs. “Anything happening in your life? How’s Rosie?”

The memory of what happened this morning flits through my mind. I feel myself frown.

“What’s wrong?” Cruiser asks.

I tell him how Rosie threw a fit this morning because she didn’t want to take the school bus without Jamie. “It’s stressing my mom out,” I say. “I wish…I wish I wasn’t such a baby and learned to drive.”

Cruiser tucks his hand under my chin and lifts my face. “Don’t feel that way. You’ll learn to drive when you’re ready. Ain’t no use in rushing. If I were able to drive, I’d take her every morning. Though, I guess I’d need to get a car…”

“Thanks, Cruiser. Rosie learned to depend on Jamie, and it’s hard for her now that he’s not here.” I puff out some air. “I don’t know what to do. I tried talking to her, but I don’t think I got through.”

“We’ve got to be there for her. Spend more time with her.”

I nod as tears choke my throat.

Cruiser kisses my temple. “She’ll be okay. She’s strong.”

“My mom thinks she needs to get thicker skin, that’s why she wants to force Rosie to take the bus. I could never do that.”

“Me, either.”

“I want to make her life as easy as possible.” A tear slips out of my eye. “I wish I could switch places with her. Whenever I think I’m okay with everything, something happens that undoes all the progress I made.” I wipe my eyes, but tears continue to fall. “Maybe this is just something I’ll live with for the rest of my life.”

Cruiser puts his arm around me and holds me close. “I feel the same. But we gotta get over it. It’s not healthy for us or for Rosie.”

“I just wish things would be a little easier for her.”

Cruiser wipes my tears away with his thumb, then presses a lingering kiss on my forehead. “You’re a great sister, Lex. Just continue doing what you’re doing.”

I don’t know how long he holds me. It might be only a few minutes or half an hour. When my tears are dried up and I feel a little better, I untangle myself from Cruiser’s hold and open my purse. “I have something for you.”

His eyebrows rise. “Another surprise? Lex, I don’t need—”

I place my finger over his lips. “Shut up, Cruiser.” Once my fingers close over the envelope, I pull it out and quickly hide it behind my back. I gaze into his face. “You’re one of the most important people in my life. I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but I’m positive deep in my heart that you’re the right guy for me. I don’t want anyone else, just you.”

“I feel the same—”

I shake my head. “Please let me finish.”

He nods.

“I know I apologized for what happened between us a few times and you told me that it’s in the past and that we should forget about it. But I don’t want to forget about it. I don’t want to ever hurt you the way I did. You told me it’s okay if I hurt you because it shows I care, but I don’t want to ever cause you any pain. I’m sure we’ll get into arguments and will say things we don’t mean, but I hope we’ll be able to forgive one another and have a healthy and happy relationship.”

Cruiser nods again. His eyes are bursting with emotion.

“So.” I pull out the envelope from behind my back. “I want you to have this.”

Cruiser eyes it suspiciously.

“Take it,” I urge.

He reaches for it and carefully opens it. He plucks out a card and reads the front of it. “I love you just because.” When he opens it, a small piece of paper lands on his lap. He sweeps it off, and his eyes widen to the size of the largest sandcastle on the beach. He gaze flits to mine. “What is this?”

“Money to pay for the repairs on your bike.”

“Lex—”

“Read the inside of the card.”

“Lex—”

“Read it.”

He reluctantly looks down at the card. I bought one that has no message inside so I could write my own. “There doesn’t always have to be an occasion for me to tell you how much I love you. You mean the world to me, Cruiser Dalton, and even though I’m too young to say this, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So I love you just because you’re you. Never change anything about yourself because you are awesome just the way you are and I love everything about you. Forever.”

When Cruiser raises his head, his eyes brim with tears. He yanks me to his chest and hugs me so tight it’s as though are bodies are fused into one. He kisses me all over my face, and I feel his tears splatter over my cheeks. “I love you,” he says, over and over as he continues to shower me with kisses.

“I love you, too.”

“But I can’t accept the gift.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Lex—”

“I want to do this for you.”