Forever Distraction (Distraction #3) (29 page)

The person who was
videotaping was far away, so you had to strain to hear anything…until the smacking started, and then the level of Doc’s voice rose. He was hitting her with force on the back of the head, and then he slapped her across the face. Katarina didn’t even flinch; she closed her eyes, and her lips moved with no audible words.

His voice
was now yelling, “You never roll your eyes—at me or anyone.” He repeated it as his next blow to her head knocked her off the piano. Her small, defenseless body fell limp to the floor. She blinked, and he walked toward her slowly. His back was to the camera as he bent down and gently helped her up. “You’re a troublemaker. No more rolling your eyes.” He sat her up and glanced over toward the person holding the camera. It was clear from the surprise in his eyes he didn’t know he was being watched beating his daughter.

Doc le
ft, and the next thing we saw was the camera being settled on something and a man appear walking toward her. He talked to her in a hushed tone and she stood head down. He said something else and she stripped her dress and sandals. The camera was so far away I couldn’t see his face clearly, but he was wearing black slacks and a white dress shirt, his hair short and brown. He appeared professional. He stalked around her body, ran a finger around her middle section, and then he removed her underwear.

S
he was naked in front of him. I wanted to look away; anger filled me, and my core was so frazzled I shook. He murmured how pretty she was and talked about what ladies do. He continued with compliments and educated her about her body. It was nauseating, and I had seen enough. I pivoted toward Owen and his fury was visible, even in the darkness of the room. I stormed out of the room, because I needed air. I walked through the kitchen in a haze. My sister, Jessie, called out to me, and I turned my head to catch her eyes, but my legs continued to the front porch. I sat on the swing and tried to erase the pictures in my head. Jessie settled in next to me, and I covered my face with my hands and silently wished she would go away.

“I missed y
ou,” she whined and her body leaned into mine. “I’m glad you found her; she looks happy.” She paused, and then continued, “She told me to be good to you. She defended you, explaining in so many words it was her fault you freaked out and left. She asked me to be mad at her and not you. I love that she protects you, but I’m smarter than that.” Jessie could make a point without beating me up. I knew what I did; I fucked up with my family. Katarina was not responsible for the choices I made, but in true Katarina style, she threw herself under the bus as a sacrifice so my sister wouldn’t be mad at me. I fucking needed to be left alone. Katarina was a living sacrifice, and I didn’t want her to do that for me anymore.

Guilt and sadness brought tears back to my eyes. I put my face in my hands and closed my eyes, but I
still had visions in my head, things I wanted to un-see. She sat with me for a while and then took the hint, disappearing back inside the house. I sat on the swing, wondering if I always knew subconsciously about her abuse from the first moment I saw her. I wondered if I wanted to save her because I couldn’t save Jacy. I wondered if my obsession and fixation was more about being a hero, an avoidance of what my real problem was.

The loss of Jacy rocked my w
orld. The fixation I had on Katarina was something I had never had on anyone. If she was safe, truly safe, would I still feel the same way about her? If all the monsters were gone, would I have this overwhelming need to protect her? Would she still fill that broken hole inside me, or would she just become one of the many women I bagged? I ran my hand through my hair and leaned back. Bo was lying on the porch next to me. I reached down to pet him, telling him how sorry I was for leaving him. I made my way back inside, my confused feelings clouding my vision.

My mom stopped me in the kitchen and hugged me.
“Katie went on a walk with her brother and the boys. I think she’s showing him around the lake. You seem lost without her.”

I felt lost.
“Thanks, Mom.” I moved toward the backyard and overheard my granddad. He was laughing and telling someone about his farm. He was always trying to share the joys of farming, but somehow, his voice would get lost in the sea of voices and nobody really listened. I listened to him for a while, and he was pulling out all his really good material, stories I had listened to when I was young. I stepped out to see who he was talking to, and Katarina was seated right next to him. Her eyes were focused on only him. Bo left my side and moved over to hers. Her giggle was what fueled Granddad. He continued to hog all of her attention, and when Bo set his nose on her lap, she began petting him, never taking her eyes off the old man.

Brian walked up beside me and handed me a beer.
“I don’t want her to ever know I saw the video.” His voice was soft. “If you feel like you need to tell her you saw it, that’s fine, but look at her. She would be crushed if she thought we felt sorry for her. The girl thinks she’s strong, and she’s convinced she can save herself. I think our best call is to treat her without sympathy, give her a little tough love.” He winked. “She hates pity, so I am not going to give her any. Fuck, Jason, I know I should have known, but I didn’t. I was an asshole of a brother. My parents built it into me to take care of her, to protect her, and I failed. Fuck, I failed more than once, and look at her.”

I couldn’t take my eyes
off her. She was a thing of beauty; her black hair slid in front of her face as she bent down to kiss Bo. Brian continued, “She’s happy. I couldn’t talk to her after the rape, because I hated myself for not knowing, not predicting, not seeing Jared’s lust for her. I can’t go back to not talking with her.
Shit, man
, I love my sister, and I don’t want to lose her all over again.”

Her face lifted like her
spidey senses were kicking in, and her blue, smiling eyes met mine. I tried to picture Doc and his wife as her parents, but I couldn’t. Although Katarina and her mother had similar features, Katarina had so much life in her face. She stood from the patio table and padded toward me. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes holding mine, and I saw the little girl in the video. I couldn’t speak; I had nothing to say, or nothing I
wanted
to say.

My dad saved me when he stepped in and interrupted. Kat
arina walked away with her brother, and I stared at her as my family laughed with her. And that was it—it hit me; I never appreciated my family. I made a promise to myself: today, I’d start the sappy-love family thing…no regrets.

I caught Owen
’s gaze; even though he wore his sunglasses, his face was hard. My dad lectured me about dropping the ball and about responsibilities, and I knew I fucked him royally, but my mind was not in the right place for this conversation.

“Sorry
, Dad, I…” I paused and tried to find something better to say. “I’m just sorry.” My dad stopped mid-sentence and looked at me, and I realized I hadn’t said those words to him before. “I need to be with her right now.” I ran a hand over my face.

“Let me
know if I can help.” He reached out, grabbed my upper arm, and pulled me toward him. “I am here for you anytime.” His embrace was short and tight, and I felt emotional thinking about what a fucking great father I had, always consistent.

I gave him a short but heartfelt hug back to show him how much I loved him.
“Thanks, Dad.”

Janie came out and announced lunch was ready. The table was set inside
, and dishes of salads filled the table, enough for a feast. The women in my family cooked when they were nervous; they came, cooked, and it was overwhelming the amount of food that was set in front of us.

Kat
arina took her seat, Brian sat directly across from her, and Owen sat next to my dad. I took my seat next to Katarina. Her eyes blazed into me and I remained silent. She bumped her shoulder into me as I settled into my chair. The food was passed and conversation buzzed around the table, but I was lost, deep in thought. My mind wrapped around Katarina and her troubled youth. My dad’s voice ripped me from my dark thinking. “Brian, was Katie a tyrant growing up?”

Brian choked on a laugh
; his eyes met mine first, and then he gazed at his sister and smirked. “She was.” Katarina gasped and I watched Brian’s face turn joyous. “She was and is a complete snob.”

Kat
arina set her fork down and smoothed her napkin. I cleared my throat and her head snapped to me. “He’s right, Katarina; you are a snob,” I said and almost broke into laughter as her eyes bugged out and she swallowed.

Owen’s loud laughter silenced the table.
“Yep…snob.”

I turned to catch a flicker of mischief in Kat
arina’s eyes. She moved the fruit salad in front of her and lifted her head to the other side of the table in her brother’s direction. “Well, Bri,” she paused, sticking her hand in the salad, grabbing a handful of fruit, “if I am a snob, then you are a first class, arrogant, over-confident jerk,” and then the fruit flew and nailed him in the face.

She turned
toward me next, and I got turned on by the adolescent, spunky look in her eye. She was humored by the three of us. “And you,” she grabbed another handful of fruit, making my cock twitch, “you are a moody control freak.” Her hand released a fruity blow to my chest; a deep chuckle left my throat and it felt great.

She faced Owen next and winked at my dad. “I have good aim, Jackson. Smith
,” she repeated grabbing a fistful of food and then continued, “you, old man, are bossy, and overbearing, and old…really, really old.” She threw the food and he blocked it, but she must have calculated that, because more fruit followed and pelted him. His laughter was contagious, and we joined in.

****

Katarina

The foods flew across the long dining room table and the laughter enveloped me like a blanket. It was the best day and it kept getting better. Jake and Josh threw fistfuls of food at Jason, yelling toward me, “We got him!” Jason’s laugh made my heart thunder in my chest. I loved his laugh. He picked me up to shield him from the flying buffet and I screamed as food landed in my hair and tumbled down my shirt.

“I love you
,” Jason whispered in my ear, and I pulled back far enough to look in his eyes and he was different.

There wa
s something softer about him, and I didn’t have to look so deep for his heart in his eyes anymore, because he wore it proudly on his sleeve. I smiled as I cradled his face in my hands. “I know, baby, and I love you.” He leaned in and kissed me, taking his sweet time. It was tender and full of love, and there were promises in the kiss, promises of forever, promises of happiness, and promises of passion. I attempted to return those promises, but he held my face, not accepting them yet.

Jell-O
and pasta broke up our public make out session followed by kids yelling, “Eww!” I laughed as Jason placed me on my feet while hopping to his, and then in true Jason style, he tossed me over his shoulder and took off in a sprint up the stairs. He placed me on the counter when we reached the bathroom, and he wore the biggest grin.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” He lifted
my shirt over my head. “Do you get sick of me telling you that?” I shook my head and returned his smile. “I like that you let me compliment you.”

I was
puzzled by his choice of words. “I like
your
compliments.” I licked some chocolate pudding off of his chin. “What’s going on? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’, because something’s off.” I traced my tongue down his neck, tasting barbeque sauce and ambrosia.

“I’m infatuated with you
; that’s all. Seeing you with my family makes me want to start my own with you.” He smiled, and I would buy any line of bullshit associated with it. His green eyes gleamed and I was close enough to see the gold flecks that surrounded his black pupils.

“Where’s my phone? I want to play the ‘did you know’ game.”

He busied himself with taking off his clothes, but the gorgeous, goofy grin never faltered. “What the heck?” I continued, “Did you know…you have gold rings inside your eyes?” He flicked on the shower and turned toward me, laughing. His goofy grin was so large it was going to swallow me whole. “What?” I questioned at his smirk.

“Did you just ask me to marry you?”
he asked teasingly.

“No
.” The tables had turned and I was in the spotlight. “No…I…” My words caught, stuck in my throat; my face was hot and I knew because of the intensity of my embarrassment it was bright red.

His laughter picked up
, and then he took on a girl’s voice, imitating me, “Oh Riggs…I see a gold ring in your eyes.” He paused for more laughter, and suddenly, it was his voice again asking, “What’s next; you gonna pull a ring from my ear?” He was really laughing, and even though I was the source of his joke, I giggled along with him. He helped me off the counter, stripping my skirt and panties in the process. He led me into the hot shower, shaking his head like he couldn’t control how funny he thought that was.

“Just so we’re clear, Riggs
, I would never ask you to marry me. It’s desperate for a woman to ask a man, and I am not desperate.”

He twisted me so I was under the nozzle.
“Not yet,” his freaking idiotic smile was adorable, “but I bet you’d beg me.” He switched his voice to mimic mine again as he teased, “Oh, Jason, make an honest woman out of me. Please, my hand keeps drifting away and I need something to wear that’ll weigh it down.” He was on a roll. Someone took a funny-man pill.