Forever in my Heart: Book 3 in My Heart Series (9 page)

“We never get the chance to catch up anymore and I guess Pete and I both need a few cold ones,” I confess honestly as we sit on the sand together.

Even though I work here all day, there is nothing better than chilling here with this beautiful woman, gazing out at the ocean.

“Of course I don’t mind Kade, not one bit. It will be good for both of you. Why don’t you get Pete to pick you up and leave your car at my place?” Roxy suggests and the idea sounds good to me. No point in us both taking our cars, and who wants to be limited to two drinks?

“Great idea, that way I can come home and climb into bed with you my beautiful lady,” I remark to lighten the mood, I don’t want her thinking I need space from her.

“I definitely like the sound of that. Not too many drinks though baby; you know what happened last time you got blind drunk. I won’t be bailing you out of jail this time.” I can’t help but smile a devilish grin, remembering the awesome punch I gave Robert.

Well, he did deserve it, sleeping with his best mate’s Wife, after all.

T
he Bay hotel is crazy busy for a week night, and there are only a couple free tables with endless chatter going on and a juke box playing by the bar. So far, the jukebox has played Jimmy Barnes and Pearl Jam; both easy listening rock.

Both are great choices.

We find a spare table and go to sit at the timber and stainless steel table that’s pretty scratched and beaten up.

“I’ll grab the first round of beers, Pete. You want Tooheys man?” I ask him since that is his usual beverage of choice.

“Yep, sounds good,” he responds looking eager to get started. I guess having a new baby in the house would be tiring.

“Hey Joe, how are you mate?” I chat to the bartender. He’s worked here for quite a few years. When I was single, this was a regular hangout spot of mine.

“Hey Kade, good to see you. I’m okay dude, you?” he responds in his usual friendly demeanour.

“All good here, bro,” I respond lying through my teeth. Well, eighty percent of my life is perfect and the other twenty percent is fucked up.

“What can I get you and Pete to drink?” I’m sure he would like to stand around and talk all night, but the other customers might not be too impressed.

“Two schooners of Tooheys new, please.” He gives me a nod and starts to pour our drinks.

“Seven bucks even,” he remarks as he places both beers on the mat on the edge of the bar.

I hand him the money and head back to Pete. I figure I will be seeing Joe quite a few more times before we leave tonight.

Looking around the pub a group of guys are playing pool and are getting louder; especially the ones losing. Another pair of guys is playing darts, and a few women are seated in the booths chatting away.

We sit and soak up the atmosphere; it’s our little escape for the night.

“So how is that little girl of yours Pete?” I would never let him know but that little baby has a piece of my heart already.

“God Kade, she is amazing. She’s growing so fast, She is laughing now, but so cheeky at bedtime and she is so smart because she will cry when she doesn’t want to be put down,” he gushes over Crystal and I smile. To think we used to talk about cars, boats, and guy stuff and now it’s babies.

“She is smart like her uncle.” He just chuckles and shakes his head.

“Very funny,” he retorts.

“I reckon we should order some food before it gets too busy. What do you want to eat, Kado?” he queries me. It’s perfect timing as my stomach rumbles right then.

“What about a good old meat pie and chips, Pete?” I reply to him, there is nothing better than a crunchy meat pie with sauce and some chunky hot chips, especially when drinking beer.

“Awesome pick, I’ll grab the same. How bout I go order.” I put my ten bucks on the table for him, then he strides over to the already packed bistro.

I hastily drink my ice-cold beer as I notice a pregnant woman walk in holding hands with her boyfriend or husband. They look in love and happy.

Well fuck, that’s the way it should be, not knocking up a random and being stuck with her in your life.

On that note I swiftly down the rest of the contents of my beer and trudge to the bar to order another.

“I’ll grab two Tooheys news and a shot of tequila this time, Joe.” I have every intention of blocking out the vision of a pregnant peroxide skank with as much alcohol as possible.

Joe positions the shot glass of tequila on the bars edge seconds before I eagerly make a grab for it and down it craving the numbness to take away my wayward thoughts.

Just maybe it can make me forget just how fucked up things are right now.

“Make that another shot, Joe,” I tell him instantaneously, the more, the better.

“You got it, Kade. Rough day at work buddy?” he questions me as I’m sure I look a sight ordering numerous shots. He’s probably seen it all and then some and can tell when a person is drinking to forget, escape, and just have fun.

“Well yep, something like that, Joe,” I reply, not letting on about my soap opera life. The last thing I need is everyone finding out. Jesus, maybe I should contemplate telling Ebony and John and of course Dad. I wouldn’t want them to find out another way for fucks sake.

I snatch my beer and take another sip as Joe pours the shot. A man scorned will drink the sorrow away.
What’s the expression drinking like a fish?

“Kate,” I hear Pete call out as I turn to see him sit down at our table, I give him an acknowledging nod as I pay for the drinks and meander back over.

“You look like you have every intention of making it a big one tonight bro,” he states snickering and I’m assuming he saw me drinking shots at the bar.

“Want to talk about it?” he questions since he knows Stacey is preggers, he also knows just how much I love Roxy, so I can see in his eyes that he understands my pain.

“How the fuck do I deal with this Pete?” I question him feeling disheartened.

“I mean things are amazing with Rox, it is more than I ever wished and thought possible, so why the fuck does something bad always have to happen?” I ask him getting enraged the more I talk about it.

“God only knows Kade, but whatever happens you guys are in it together. Roxy looks at you the exact same way you look at her, bro; she is not going anywhere in a hurry that’s for sure,” he exclaims with honesty. It makes me grin, I guess knowing I will have Roxy’s support is what is getting me through each day.

“I just hate myself for doing this to her. Goddammit, one fucking night is all it was, I’m so bloody unlucky.”

“Yep, just how drunk were you?” he interrogates me and shakes his head at my irresponsibility no doubt.

“You sound like my old man,” I point out at his comment.

“Put it this way, I remember bits and pieces and flashes before and after the sex, then creeping out of her room but that is it, nothing more. I was never that type of guy Pete, but I remember just how badly I was hurting back then.” I recount those miserable months without Roxy.

“We all do fucked up shit. It’s about taking responsibility now, Kade. And when you become a father, even if it’s with Stacey, the baby will be the only thing that matters, trust me,” Pete declares and shit that hits home. I needed to hear it; the baby is all that matters.

“Yep,” I reply thinking about having a cute little surfer boy or daddy’s girl following me around at the beach is a nice vision, just not with Stacey in the picture.

At that thought I down my next shot, then chase it down with my beer.

W
e spend the next hour playing two games of pool and I’m not noticing how much I drink.

I don’t get legless very often but what is it about drinking that makes me not able to stop?
The refreshing taste to start and then of course the feeling mixed together is my guess. The pub has definitely helped with my mood and made me feel more relaxed.

Well, that and the shots. I’m feeling a little numb now, but my stupid brain makes me think of Roxy home alone, then it reminds me that she is probably thinking about Stacey’s having my baby.

Does she secretly hate me for making her life so complicated?

Will she leave me when it all gets to be too much?

“Fuck, Pete, now I’m feeling drunk. Why the hell did I have to sleep with that chick?” I question my best mate since we were nine.

“Who knows Kado, shit happens. Don’t beat yourself up about it,” he replies being supportive now after the last lecture. I have to realise what’s done is done, even if I would give anything to erase it so that it never fucking happened in the first place.

“I have to beat myself up about it. I don’t want to be a father to her baby. I had finally stopped freaking out about having a baby with Roxy sometime down the track, sooner rather than later actually, and now this fucking happens.”

“Roxy will treat the child like her own anyway, Kade, so don’t worry about that,” he assures me. I know without a doubt, Roxy is a selfless woman; she would go above and beyond for me.

“There are no guarantees Roxy is really going to stick around, Pete. I mean if Stacey gets her back up, you should see the bitchy side of her; life will get way more complicated,” I announce to him feeling infuriated and melancholy all at once.

I feebly stand and feel myself sway slightly as I make my way back to the bar. “Jim Beam and coke and another tequila shot. Thanks, Joe,” I say trying to sound less drunk than I feel.

I’m fucking wishing I didn’t have to work tomorrow. Good thing I changed my early classes, thinking I might be having a late one.

Ten am is a much more reasonable time to be there instead of seven-thirty. If my swaying and demeanour are anything to go by I will be paying for it tomorrow.

Roxy

I happily spend the night in my comfy pyjamas, as Kade and Pete go like the Aussie men they are to the local pub.

I decide to catch up on all the fun things I haven’t done for a while, like excitedly surf the net for clothes, shoes and jewellery.

The important things in a woman’s life right?

I must admit internet shopping is still just as fun. I am thrilled when a few of my favourite stores have some amazing sales right now.

Working full time in the studio I don’t get to the shops as much as I would like and I need my shopping fix.
Doesn’t every woman.

I am delighted when I find a gorgeous black leather Mimco wallet, it has shiny gold plating and a signature Mimco turn lock, and it’s on sale.
Yay!

I am in shopper’s heaven when I find sparkling glass crystal drop earrings with black, white and silver crystals. I have been looking with no luck for earrings to go with my little black dress.

But my absolute favourite buy of the night are new animal print, leather heels. They are so damn sexy in cobalt blue with black print. Absolutely fucking perfect.

I am beaming from my fantastic find and purchase so I send Jem a pic. I am in love with my finds.

Bargain really at $195 for the three items.

Sales are the best thing since sliced bread!

Oh that’s right it’s Jemma’s birthday next month, I think to myself.

What to get the fussiest woman on the planet, who has every little thing her heart desires?

Hmm...

I put my faith in Google, as I type in stage shows, concerts, and gifts for friends.

This is it, it’s perfect!

Concert tickets to see Nelly, rapper extraordinaire for Jemma and I at the entertainment centre, with Lupe Fiasco and Bob as the supporting acts.
Just sensational.

We should make a night of it. I start humming to Nelly’s “It’s Getting Hot in Here” as I purchase the tickets.

Thank God for my credit card, I shouldn’t be spending anymore after the tickets but I find a few more items from The Iconic.
Best online store ever!

Mostly work clothes, including a sheer, cream coloured silk blouse with a high waisted chocolate coloured skirt, and strappy brown heels to match. What, I needed them.

After my shop-till-I-drop for a couple of hours, I raid the pantry for salt and vinegar chips and then the fridge where I grab a new guava flavoured spritz; just the thing for unwinding and relaxing.