Forever in my Heart: Book 3 in My Heart Series (12 page)

A
fter countless drinks and cocktails, I take my angel to bed. Her in that dress is stunning, but her stripped naked, is even more beautiful.

“Now that I’ve finally got you to myself, I want to talk to you about a couple things before I make love to you,” I say to her sweetly, not to alarm her about the topic of conversation.

Anything along the lines of we need to talk, is a scary way to start these days.

“Okay, this kind of sounds serious,” she replies frowning a little.

“So I kind of have a bit of cash in the bank from my winnings, and I want to buy something for you and me to have together,” I announce openly to her.

“Jemma is hardly ever at your place and her and Dan will be living together soon. What would you say about you and I moving into a place of our own Roxy?” I ask her feeling excited about this huge step in our relationship.

“Somewhere to call our home is the next logical step,” I add finding myself rambling, a little nervous about the possibility she could say no.

“So what do you think?” I query her eager to get her response.

“I think it sounds perfect. I’d love to move in with you Mr. Thomas!” Roxy squeals and it makes me giddy. We can start our new lives together in our own home full of happiness.

“Woo-hoo this is unreal, baby. Do you know how long I’ve waited to ask you that question? I’ve known for months that I was ready,” I confess another part to her.

“Well, shit baby, that’s so sweet. It’s definitely the most logical step. I am so excited it will be our home Kade!”

Roxy’s intoxicating eyes are boring into me; they make me weak at the knees, and take a deep look into my soul.

Right now, it’s my gorgeous girl and I all safe and snug, listening to the harmony of each other’s heartbeats.

Roxy’s arms are the only place I want to be in the world, everything else can wait.

Everything else is obsolete and minimal to me in comparison. Roxy is my diamond I’ve been searching for the last twenty-five years for.

Mine and all mine, well maybe the daddy to Stacey’s baby, too, but mostly mine.

I will not freak out, I will not freak out.

I squeeze Roxy tighter and try to ignore my crazy arsed brain.

I
can’t help but take a good look at my life today. So much has changed for the better, so many new opportunities.

The past was spiralling out of control, with my drinking, the drugs, and then the gambling.

There was nothing in my life that I was happy with, except, of course, the band.

The Electric Beat, my band members, now family are what kept me grounded and gave me something to wake up for in the mornings.

If I didn’t have rehearsals, gigs, and concerts, I would have been much worse. Life on the road is not as glamorous as it seems, with the women and groupies throwing themselves at you it is insane. The phone calls from Roxy were something else I looked forward too. My sister, who for as long as I can remember had so much faith in me and my music.

“You are so talented Jeremy. You are amazing” these are the quotes that got me through the dark times.
Everyone needs someone like Roxy in their lives.

I was stoked when she was with Kade, he seemed different than the others.

So here I am today in a committed relationship with Seline, a stunning and wonderful woman; another kindred spirit in my life.

Seline literally opened my eyes and dragged me out of the gutter. She showed me that I didn’t need to drink or take sleeping pills, and she built my confidence back up.

I will be eternally grateful for her being my guardian angel, my saviour, who brought me back from the darkness.

Now I’m at Kade’s lake house, and it was sensational to perform with the band, in a small get together with their close friends.

This is what life is all about, family and friends, fun and laughter; even as the band’s popularity grows I know my priorities and these simple pleasures are what will keep me grounded.

Chapter 10

All work and No play

Roxy

––––––––

I
n the words of Bill Murray, “It’s Groundhog’s Day again.”

My alarm clock buzzes and the excitement of heading to work has faded more and more these last few months.

My dream of running my own studio is running frequently through my mind, to have more control, more clients and be my own boss is such an appealing thought.

I half-heartedly find myself at work, feeling like a space cadet as I send an email.

When I think of Kade, I slip into a trance and find myself daydreaming back to our Hawaii trip. It was truly mesmerising.

We were on top of the world, without the dark cloud hanging over us, I am falling more in love with him every day, but with love comes responsibility.
Life was simple without all of the dramas of a possible baby with another woman.

I feel my posture go limp at the thought of Stacey. I really wish I could turn back time. I should have fought harder for Kade and followed him wherever he went, no matter what he fucking said.

But I can’t erase the past; just learn from it. I just wonder what God is trying to teach us, when it comes to Stacey’s pregnancy? Practice safe sex?

That was an epic fail on Kade’s behalf and I feel a little angry about his lack of responsibility in that area, but I won’t nag him about it, he feels bad enough as it is.

The email to change Rosemary’s design yet again is sent, so now I can work on my only project assigned for the week. It is so quiet for me, the other designers are busy but Neeta gives me the least clients since I am the youngest and have the least experience.

But we both know that skill wise I am better than most of the others here. But that is how the industry works, word of mouth and the regulars ask for the well-known designers.

If only I had more freedom to be out viewing designs and meeting with clients.

I gloomily find myself doodling on the notepad, playing around with possible headings if I was lucky enough to run my own company one day.

Roxy’s Graphic Design

Roxy’s studio of design

Rox Design Studio

Oh, the possibilities are endless and super exciting.

My mood has lifted so I decide to send Kade a message. He always knows what to say, and I’m sure it will make the time speed by a little.

Roxy:

Hey baby, work is so slow; you don’t know how lucky you are running your own business.

I love you to the moon and back xx

Kade:

Hey, sexy lady, be patient, you will have your own business one day too and it will be the best in the business. Just you wait.

I love you to infinity and beyond (Buzz Light-Year to the rescue!)

My smile beams, getting broader the more I think of Kade’s words. I giggle at his dorky comment about Buzz Light-Year, no wonder he is good with Crystal since he’s still child-like sometimes.

But that is what makes him unique and special. I even love the silly and inane bonehead comments.

I see that I have missed a text from Jeremy. Shoot.

Hey Sis, can I call you if you aren’t too busy at work?

Work is so quiet lately. I would love you forever if you called me.

A few minutes later my phone rings.

“Roxy you won’t bloody believe it Sis, The Electric Beat has just been booked for an Australia tour, six states, and roughly four shows in each state! How awesome is that?” he screams excitedly into the phone.

“Oh, Jeremy that’s fantastic! Well done, bro, to you and the guys, you will be touring your very own home turf, it’s phenomenal!” I know just how much it means to him, it’s been a dream of his to travel around Australia and show off his group.

“I am stoked Rox, more than anything it’s about showcasing our songs in our home country.”

“I know Jez, you always dreamed big. You reached for the stars, brother, and you will be holding them in your hands very soon,” I state feeling ecstatic for him.

“Words can’t express just how proud of you I am, seriously,” I add as the tears well up in my eyes and I feel a lump in my throat, they are happy tears of course.

“Oh Rox, I couldn’t have done any of it without your support all of these years Sis. You were always in the front row, singing along and cheering at my concerts. That was the boost my confidence needed,” he declares making me feel like I have succeeded as a sister.

“I always believed in you, Jez. You had the talent, you just needed to get it noticed and for the world to see it. Now look at how far you have come.”

“Travelling around the U.S. was amazing, but this Australian tour is what life is all about. This right here is the reason I started singing, playing guitar and trying to sing like Jimmy Barnes. He is an idol that I always strived to be like.”

“I’m so happy for you bro, tell the guys congrats!” I proclaim enthusiastically.

“If only we all had the same awesome news,” I confess to him, as today was a really crappy day.
The whole fucking Stacey possibly being pregnant with Kade’s baby is ripping at me.

“What’s up Rox, you know you can talk to me,” my sweet, caring bro questions.

“Oh you know, today there was the client from Hell, then of course the fact that Kade might be the Father of Stacey’s unborn child,” I blurt out all the dramas of my life.

“Just keep swimming Rox, it will all work out Sis. Kade loves you and only you and tell your client to get laid, that might lighten her up a little.” I can’t help but laugh. Yuck, Rosemary is possibly a nun from her outfits and prim and proper emails.

“Thanks, Jeremy; I am becoming a stronger swimmer, that’s for sure.” I know he’s right, I can never give up, and I’ve just got to keep swimming.

I knew I shouldn’t have replied back to Rosemary’s email request today, if I had have left it until tomorrow it would have been better for my sombre and low mood.

She wants to change colours again!

Honestly if this was my company, I wouldn’t put up with it. Rosemary has asked me to change her design eight fucking times. Five is usually our limit, but Neeta extended it, God knows why...

So the red, grey, and white have now been changed to crimson, charcoal and cream. She is the fussiest client I’ve had in four years! Red is red, grey is grey!

Understandably I find myself feeling flat the rest of the afternoon. I mean everyone’s dreams are becoming a reality; Kade has his surf school and not to mention winning the world cup of surfing.

Jeremy has made it big worldwide and now has an Australian tour, plus he turned his life around. Jemma is getting married, who would have thought she would be the first one to the aisle? Emma and Pete have Crystal; it’s all falling into place for everyone but me...

Things like this have never bothered me before; I am so ecstatic for my family and friends, I just kind of feel like maybe it’s my turn to go after my dream. The first step is believing in yourself. I am a determined, strong, and dedicated woman.
Look out world here I come.

I take the initiative and spend the next thirty minutes looking at how to start up a business, what is involved, the fees, etc. Then I find myself looking real estates for office spaces to rent. There are four places I would be interested in a few different suburbs.

Then after I realise finish time is only in one hour, I actually do my job, finish my design, file some paperwork and chat with Neeta about next week’s workload.

Once I get my head wrapped around running my own studio, I will talk to her and fill her in. She has to know that I am feeling weighted down and need to spread my wings.

When I get home, I grab a bottle of water and chill on the lounge, making a few notes on my notepad, about colour schemes and clientele.

“Oh, here she is, my beautiful Foxy, hello angel,” I say sweetly to my kitty.

She jumps up and lies on my chest, digging her nails in gently and purring loudly.

Foxy really is a sweet kitty, she loves to snuggle but is not overbearing; much like me.

Her soft grey-blue fur doesn’t shed too much, it’s soft and relaxing to pat her, and she comforts me when I’ve had a crappy day or Kade is surfing.

Speak of the sexy devil, the front door opens and Kade enters looking devilishly handsome with freshly wet hair. I find myself licking my bottom lip at his smoking hot appearance.

“Hi baby,” he remarks as he walks in placing his sports bag on the floor, then heads over to the lounge.

“Hey you,” I respond feeling suddenly twenty degrees hotter. He leans in to kiss my lips. His taste is salty and crisp and as his hand embraces my neck I feel goose bumps on my skin and I shudder, feeling slightly turned on.

“Mmm,” I moan from the heated kiss and his roaming hands.

“Well, shit Rox, you want me bad don’t you baby?” He pulls back and looks into my eyes, his own amber coloured irises burning with the want that I feel.

A small smile escapes my lips and my breathing hitches as I nod at the sexy man in front of me. I place Foxy on the floor and wrap my arms around Kade’s neck showing him just how badly I want him. I pull his lips desperately to mine, where I kiss him deeply and entwine my tongue with his, tugging on his hair and digging my nails into his scalp.