Forever Is Over (141 page)

“
Thanks Mavis! I
’
ll knock you off my lottery list!
”

Richie pretended to scrub me off his list! He then picked up his
phoned and dialled,

“
Hello,  could  I  speak  to  Ray  Walker  please?  My  name?  It
’
s
Mr. Billingham from Red Rose Building Society
…
No, he won
’
t know
what its regarding
…
.tell him I
’
m running a course on bigotry and would
like to know if he wants to attend. He
’
s been recommended!
”

             
Whilst he waited for Ray Walker to come to the phone, he took a sip
of his coffee. I stood up, ready to get back to my work. Richie covered
the mouthpiece.

“
Mavis, please don
’
t mention this to the girls yet. I will speak to
them all after we close and let everyone know exactly what is going
on.
”

I nodded, then as he was connected to Ray Walker, I slipped out leaving Richie to it.
At ten past five that evening, Richie called us all into his office,
asked us all to take a seat and broke the news to the five of us that he had had testicular cancer as a teenager, had a testicle removed and recently it
had returned in the other testicle but had spread this time and he now
had secondary lung cancer. He said he had spoken to Human Resources
and would now officially be taking a break but unofficially, he would not
be coming back. It was testament to Richie
that the only dry eyes in the
office belonged to him. As the Branch Super
visor, I felt it was right for
me to take the lead, so I stood up, wa
lked over to Richie and hugged
him tightly, not saying anything just holding on. It felt to me like my
son had cancer. The other four ladies followed suit, h
ugging Richie and
kissing him tenderly on the cheek. Onc
e we had all managed to regain
our composure, I made a brief speech on
behalf of the girls, thanking
him for everything he had done to make ou
r office the best place in the
world to work and wishing him well in his fight against cancer.

At six o
’
clock, Richie locked up,
handed me his keys and walked
away. We all visited him at home, at a p
arty held in his honour and at
hospital during his illness, but it was
heartbreaking watching the old
Richie fade away. He never returned to the office, but still every time I
’
m
there, I feel his presence. He left us all
with a million happy memories
and all the people that made it on to his lottery list need to have a good look in the mirror , because if you were hated by Richie Billingham, one
of the loveliest men that ever lived, you should be thoroughly ashamed
of yourself.

My Daddy is sick. He has lost his hair. Mummy said Daddy was
losing his hair anyway, before he was sick, so it didn
’
t really matter.
Daddy is still happy sometimes but he is too tired for work, so stays at
home.
He lays on the settee a lot and watches television which is good
because I can give him a kiss as soon as I get back from school. Mummy
says Jamie does not understand that Daddy is sick, so he is still being
naughty. He runs around the house a lot and still shouts lots too and
cries when Mummy or Granny Dot says
its time for bed. I go to bed
when Mummy or Daddy or Granny Dot tell me. Mummy says I am a
very good girl. Daddy says Jamie is a little bit naughty. He is not, he is
very naughty.

Daddy has to go to the hospital sometimes now for his special
injections. When he comes back from the hospital, Mummy says he
is not our normal Daddy as he feels ver
y tired and very sick and very
grumpy. Mummy says when Daddy has been to the hospital, the best
way we can help Daddy, is by playing nicely away from him. Sometimes
Jamie does not listen to what Mummy says and jumps on Daddy when
he is in bed. This makes Mummy and Daddy cross. Mummy slapped
Jamie
’
s legs once, very hard, after Jamie did this, but afterwards she said
she was very sorry and she should not have done it.

On some days, Daddy does not
lie down. He walks around like
normal Daddys and plays with us and tells us he loves us. Mummy
says Daddy tells us he loves us so much, so we never forget how lucky
we are to have a Daddy like him. Daddy should just say it to Jamie, as
I think Jamie would forget, as he always forgets where he has hidden
my dolls.

Sometimes Mummy cries when Daddy is in bed. She says she is just
being silly, but I heard Mummy tell Granny Dot that she is scared. I think Daddy might look scary in bed with no hair.

One day soon, I hope Daddy is better and not sick any more, then
he might not be tired and his hair on his head might grow again. If it
grows, Mummy might not be sad any more either. When Daddy gets
better, I want to take my Daddy to watch Everton. I do not like football,
it is boring, but Daddy likes football and if Everton won he would be
very happy. I just want Mummy and Daddy to be happy all the time.

It was early evening in Autumn. The clocks had just gone back and
it was a damp, drizzly night. Dead brown leaves were swirling around
our path and reminding us winter was on its way. October is the worst
month of the year because it progressively reveals more of the six months
of misery ahead. This time though, we had more than the winter to
worry us.

Richie and I walked into the house in silence. Richie
’
s Mum and
Dad, Charlie and Dot, were sat on the edge of the settee in the lounge
and as we walked through, they looked up at us expectantly.

“
The kids are asleep,
”
Dot said in a tone that re-assured and also
permitted us to disclose our news,
“
what did the consultant say?
”

             
I wasn
’
t ready to get into the whole saga the second we walked
through the door, so I looked for a distraction.

“
Let me make a cup of tea, Dot and then we
’
ll have a chat about it.
Do you both want one?
”

“
Yes please love!
”
said Dot answering for both her and Charlie,
“
make a pot though, love, it never quite tastes the same when you make
it in the cup.
”

“
Richie?
”

“
Yes, please.
”

I suppose I was being too optimistic to hope a pot of tea would be
enough to stem the flow of Dot
’
s questioning. She was not prepared to
wait.

“
Is it good news though?
”

Dot asked this in such a desperate tone, that I felt so sorry for both
her and Richie, when he answered,

“
No, Mum, it is not good news.
”

As Dot digested this information, I made my way out to the kitchen,
turned the kettle on and popped three teabags into the pot. Whilst the
kettle was boiling, I nipped back into the lounge. We had two, two
seater settees in the lounge, Charlie and Dot were on one and Richie
had parked his bum on the other. I sat down next to him, ready to deal
with the diagnosis.

“
What did he tell you, love?
”
Dot asked.

I turned to Richie, he looked pale, I think this was more as a result
of shock than as a result of the cancer taking hold.

“
It
’
s spread Mum, they can
’
t treat it to get rid of it now, they can
only treat it to slow its progression.
”

“
Are you telling me it
’
s terminal?
”

“
I wish I wasn
’
t Mum, but I am. Jemma and I were referring to the
‘
BEP
’
as
“
Beating Every Problem
”
, but it turns out,
“
Ball Exceptionally
Poorly
”
would have reflected things better.

Dot closed her eyes and rubbed her face with an intensity that made
it look like she was going to take the skin off.

“
Oh no, son! Oh no!
”

If this routine was meant to stop the tears from flowing it failed. Charlie put his arm around her and with his other arm reached into
Dot
’
s handbag and took out some tissues. He passed them to her and
she snorted noisily. With Dot in no fit state to speak, Charlie took up
the parental questioning baton.

“
Did they give you any indication how long they think they can
keep it at bay, Richie?
”

“
Six to twelve months, Dad.
”

Richie
’
s response led to Dot sobbing more heartily. I allowed her
this outpouring of emotion his time, but knew if it continued, I would
have to have strong words. Going forward, for Richie
’
s sake, she would
need to be stronger than this.

“
We
’
re hoping, Charlie, that Richie may be able to trial new drugs
or treatments that may buy him some more time,
”
I said, letting him
know that we weren
’
t abandoning all hope,
“
we aren
’
t giving this one
up as a lost cause, are we Richie?
”

“
No. This is my life, it isn
’
t like chasing after a bus. If I miss this
chance, there isn
’
t going to be another opportunity five minutes later.
This is my only chance. We
’
ll keep fighting until the bitter end.
”

I squeezed Richie
’
s hand.

“
I
’
ll go and make the tea.
”

As I stood up and went to the kitchen, Dot moved settees to give her
son a hug. A tiny part of me was jealous of Richie as he had a proper,
compassionate family. If Vomit Breath had lived and I had developed
cancer, she would have just sneered and muttered something about what
comes around, goes around.. It would not
have destroyed her life, I am
pretty sure it wouldn
’
t hav
e even destroyed her evening.

Whilst sharing a hug with is mother, I heard Charlie ask him a
question,

“
Have you given any thought to anything you would like to do? I
mean, is there anywhere in the world you
’
d like to go? Your mother and
I don
’
t have a great deal of money, but we have an overdraft facility and
credit cards. If there was somewhere, anywhere, you
’
d like to go for a
family holiday whilst you are still in good enough health to enjoy it, just
let me and your mother know and we
’
ll book it that day.
”

“
Thanks Dad, but we couldn
’
t do that.
”