Forever Yours (2 page)

But she did think about Charles, despite all the pep talks. She missed him and the fun she’d had listening to his anecdotes. It had been a pleasure just being with him, and she didn't need or desire anything more. Or so she thought—or wanted to believe.

A week later, he called. “I won my case, Jade. Please help me celebrate by having dinner with me.”

“That’s terrific!” Jade didn't have to check her appointment book to know it was empty, so she gladly accepted.

“Great. I’ll meet you in the lobby at five forty-five.”

Jade had never mentioned to Shawna that she’d met Charles at the party, so she didn't tell her about this dinner date, either. The last thing she wanted or needed was gossip circulating through the office.

Charles took Jade to another great restaurant. This one was a steakhouse a lawyer friend of his had recommended. It was located a few blocks away from work. In warmer weather, they would have walked, but with the temperature hovering around freezing and a gusty wind, they drove there.

She shivered as they emerged from the underground parking lot near the restaurant. Charles noticed immediately and placed his arm around her shoulders. “Cold?”

“A little. Glad we didn’t walk here. I would have turned into a human popsicle.”

“It’s only a half block. Can you make it?”

“I’m not that much of a wuss,” she reassured him.

He smiled and nodded. They hurried toward the restaurant.

The warmth of the place enveloped them as they entered. There were people waiting to be seated on both sides of the vestibule and at the bar. Waiters were walking with trays of dishes and every table she could see was occupied. Charles had made a reservation earlier and they were informed by the maitre d’ that their table was being set up.

Jade looked at the framed pictures of personalities on the walls. Lena Horne’s popped out at her. How her mother had loved that woman! She’d often told Jade the singer would have had it easier had she not been black. That made her fame twice as sweet. Jade’s mom, however, had a habit of blaming others for her failures. But nobody had told her mother to have a baby at fifteen. She couldn’t blame that on her race.

“The place certainly is busy, isn’t it?” Charles said, interrupting Jade’s memories.

“Yes. I’m glad we have a reservation.”

“That was the one thing Jared insisted on when he told me about the place. It’s supposed to be one of those places to be seen at,” Charles said.

“Are you trying to impress me, Counselor?”

“Maybe I just want to be seen with a beautiful woman.”

Jade rolled her eyes, but Charles said, “Lady, you are beautiful.”

She looked away a moment. With no snappy comeback, she replied, “Thank you.”

Charles changed the subject. “Winning such a tough case, I just wanted to celebrate with you. Where didn’t really matter.”

“Congratulations again. I’m happy for you,” she said automatically and squeezed his arm.

Their table was ready and they were taken to it. Charles ordered champagne and they toasted to future wins and happiness. Knowing all the intensive preparation that went into litigation, Jade was genuinely impressed with him.

Charles gave her the highlights over the delicious meal of steak and lobster. The mood was light and the time passed quickly. They both chose to skip dessert and left the restaurant. The wind had died down and the evening turned out to be beautiful, with a brilliant, star-studded sky, and so they strolled to the parking lot.

“Thank you for sharing my happiness with me,” he said. “It would have been wasted on Caroline.”

“Oh, you don't have to thank me. I had a wonderful time. But may I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Do you like fat women?”

“What?”

“I was wondering if you did because if you keep taking me to these great restaurants, I’ll be a genuine blimp.”

That unleashed a laughing fit. When he finally caught his breath, he drew Jade close and kissed her. She returned the kiss with an intensity that surprised her. Charles crushed her to him and nearly devoured her mouth. The air around them sizzled. When Jade realized what was happening, she pulled away. She dared not let this continue.

“What's wrong, Jade?”

“I just can't.”

“Is it me—because I’m white?”

“Absolutely not.”
That had never entered her mind
.

Then he said, “I know. You don’t date married men.”

She felt flustered. “Look, I'm sorry, but I just want to be friends. I thought you understood that.”

“I did, but—”

“I had a wonderful evening, but I'd like to go home now, Charles.”

“Okay. I understand,” he said as he led her to his car.

They didn't talk much on the way home. Jade found herself hating the way she’d acted, but wasn't entirely certain why. Instead, her emotions were running amuck. Not a good sign. How was she going to go on with her life if she couldn't control her own emotions? Men were complications. How naïve had she been to think she could be friends with one? She’d have to stay away from Charles. He threatened to break down her walls.

As they walked into her apartment building Charles turned to her and said, “I'm sorry, Jade. I didn't mean to upset you by overstepping the bounds of our friendship.”

Did he have to say that? Tears welled in her eyes and threatened to fall. She didn't have the words to express how she felt because she wasn't exactly certain how she felt. So she took the coward's way out. She thanked him for the dinner and fled into the elevator.

As soon as Jade was safely inside her apartment, she fell apart. With her back resting against the door, she covered her face with her hands and slowly slid down to the floor like a droplet of rain. Why was she so upset? She’d stopped whatever was going to happen right away, which was what she desired. It was best not to get involved with another man. Then why was she crying as if she’d just thrown away something special?

It all had been so clear. Now nothing made any sense. Charles was a man. Men said nice things to get you into bed. After that it was a crapshoot on how long it took for a man to twist your heart into a pretzel of pain. Then she recalled Charles’s mention of the race aspect. Maybe he only wanted a taste of brown sugar. Had that been his game?

Suddenly an image of Charles appeared in her mind and that last thought seemed not to fit. Somehow, she didn’t think that was his intention. But then again, she’d thought John was the love of her life.

Charles drove away from Jade’s apartment with mixed feelings about her reaction to their kiss. Though he was attracted to her, did he really need another self-centered, demanding woman? He knew the answer to that. However, had she not told him she only wanted to be friends? Grabbing her and kissing her was definitely crossing the line. Then again, her reaction to his kiss had encouraged him to continue—until she applied the brakes.

He knew he wanted her. He’d envisioned them eventually becoming “friends with benefits,” but that was obviously more than she had in mind. The possibility of falling in love with her hadn’t escaped him. Whether that was such a hot idea didn’t matter. Right now, he just wanted to keep her near. There was something about her that drew him to her, and he only hoped he hadn’t already scared her away. Even though he’d apologized, it might not be enough. If all he could have right now was a platonic friendship, he’d take it. Who knew? Being around her enough, he might grow on her. Anything was possible.

The next day was Saturday. Jade had gotten out of bed after a sleepless night, half of which was spent deciding what to do about Charles. He was a nice person and she did enjoy his company. If they could keep their relationship on a platonic basis, their friendship might work. Since he said he understood, the ball was now in his court. Despite that, she began to fear that she couldn’t be his friend without any entanglements.

But a friend didn’t keep replaying the memory of another friend’s kiss over and over again in her mind. She sighed. The only way to solve her problem was to tell Charles to stay away. That way, nothing could ever happen. And she wouldn’t end up hurt. The risk of having a replay of John scared her more than anything imaginable. She’d rather jump out of a plane without a parachute.

It was decided then. The next time she saw or heard from him she would tell him that continuing their friendship wasn’t a good idea, after all. Then the basket of flowers arrived with a note attached that read: “May our friendship blossom like these flowers. Forgive me. Charles.”

Jade fell apart—a reaction that was totally unacceptable. Worse was how her mind kept replaying how his lips felt on hers, how his kiss kindled the very desire she wanted to keep repressed. Why was she allowing any of this to get to her? She had been strong once. She would be strong again. When she saw Charles she would tell him it was best if they didn’t see each other anymore. End of story.

By the time Monday morning rolled around Jade felt strong enough to deal with her emotions and Charles. She had lunch with Shawna at a small deli down the block. Returning to their building, she thought she saw Charles. Her heart started to hammer foolishly and she suddenly felt giddy. It wasn't Charles, however, and Jade was disappointed. What was wrong with her? With such emotional behavior, she feared she might already be lost.

Jade didn't see or speak to Charles for a few days. Whether she liked it or not, she was undergoing withdrawal. He was in her blood and she craved him as she would a drug.

The intercom in Jade’s apartment went off Sunday morning. It was Charles. He had bagels and wanted to come up. She pounced on that door buzzer, telling herself it was because she was hungry and he’d come such a long way. Then she realized she was wearing sweats and had no makeup on. Perhaps that would be the solution. Seeing her this way would scare him and he'd never be back. She totally forgot about telling him their friendship had to end.

She opened the door to that handsome, smiling face, reddened by the chill, his hair ruffled by the wind, and she felt her heart swell.

“Hi. I was in the area with all this food, so I decided to come by and share.”

“Sure. And if I believe that, next you’ll be offering to sell me a nice bridge, right?”

Laughing, he said, “Are you going to take something out of my hands or am I going to drop everything?”

“Oh, I'm so sorry,” Jade said, taking a bag, nearly upsetting the fragile balancing act that Charles had been performing.

“I should have called first, but this was an impulse. I had an urge for a bagel and the rest is history.”

“Do you want it toasted? I have coffee already made.”

He took off his leather jacket and hung it on her coat rack in the hall. Walking back into the kitchen, he said, “I hope you aren't angry that I did this without giving you any warning. Some women would have gone ballistic. I didn't think you would somehow.”

“It definitely was a surprise…but a nice one,” she added, suddenly meaning it.

Charles smiled and said, “Toasted.”

“Huh?”

“You asked how I wanted the bagel.”

“Funny guy.”

“I know…but looks aren’t everything.”

Despite the fact Jade knew she should end things with Charles, it felt comfortable having breakfast with him. Worse, she could see making a habit of it. After they finished he insisted on helping her clean up. Standing next to him at the sink washing the dishes as he dried, she felt the heat rising from his body. His after-shave was intoxicating and going straight to her head. She wanted him to kiss her, but knew he wouldn't. Not after the last time. So she did the unthinkable and kissed him.

“This is for breakfast and two more pounds,” she said. “Thanks a lot.”

He smacked his forehead and said, “I did it again, didn't I? I'm going to become a Pavlovian response. You’re going to equate me with food.”

“It's a distinct possibility,” Jade replied as she playfully punched his arm.

Charles gently took her face and held it between his large hands. She looked into his eyes as they sought hers. She had to be blind not to see the hope and longing there. “Are you going to run away this time?” he asked.

Jade shook her head. She knew she should, but couldn’t. Charles brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face as her own lips betrayed her and parted with anticipation. He slowly lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was feathery soft, but strong enough to send shock waves throughout her entire body. Jade knew right then and there, she'd never run from him again. That kiss ignited the simmering passion she’d felt for him and tried so hard to ignore. Nothing short of death could extinguish it now. She was lost.

“Oh, Jade, what you do to me,” he mumbled as he slid his lips down her neck.

She threaded her fingers through his hair and sought his lips again. Their kisses became so deep they nearly drowned in them. He slipped his hand under her sweatshirt and captured a breast. The nipple was already hard. Tears filled Jade’s eyes and slipped from the corners as heat rippled under her skin and she felt a flush of desire, something she hadn’t felt for so long.

“What’s wrong, Jade?”

How could she explain? Everything was wrong, but felt so utterly right. Were they tears of joy or tears of foreboding?

Jade merely shook her head and whispered, “Nothing. Love me, Charles.”

He scooped her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. Putting her head on his shoulder, Jade buried her face in his neck and breathed kisses there, as she ran her hand through his golden hair. No longer shocked at her response to his kisses, she wanted more—much more.

Charles set her down on the bed and lay down beside her. Drawing her close, he reclaimed her lips and slipped his tongue into her mouth, hungrily exploring the new territory. Jade welcomed his kisses and returned their fervor. Her heart beat so hard and fast in her chest she thought he could feel it. She ran her restless hands up and across the muscles in his back. Already wet with desire, Jade hungered for him to fill her. However, his lips lingered longer on hers until his kisses left her mouth burning with fire.