Forgetting Tabitha: An Orphan Train Rider (25 page)

“Are you alright? Pauli said you fainted, do you need anything, water, food, what?” I was rambling.

“I was a bit dehydrated and tired from so much walking I suppose. But nothing could keep me from you.”

The tears kept spilling from her eyelids in torrents, she grasped at me fearful I would disappear again.

“It’s ok, I am here now, we’re going to be fine.” I pulled out my winnings to show her and that did get a grin.

“It’s Edna and Pap, I left them a note before getting on a train, and I have no idea if they have disowned me or not, I am just so sad if they feel disappointed in me for getting pregnant.”

“God knows they will hate me even more now. First things first, let me hug you for a while, I have missed you.”

She fussed over my stitches, traced the wounds on my cheek and knuckles, but all the caressing and hugging led to kissing and exploring, before I put my hand on her woman parts, I wondered at the safety for the baby.

“Perhaps this isn’t the time.” I said.

“I don’t know if it’s safe, but I will ask Candy, I have missed you too.” They kissed more and took pleasure in one another’s embrace.

“Where did you learn to kiss like that, Mary?” He teased before pulling her to her feet and assessing her from head to toe.

“I just can’t believe I’m going to be a father!” Together they laughed and soon after dressed fully so they could properly reunite with Pauli and Candy.

The sight in the den was bewitching, Candy had the child Sonya on her lap, reading her a story, and Pauli sat next to them smoking his pipe.

This is what a family looked like.

“Congratulations, son.” Pauli clapped me on the back and shook my hand. I noticed the tattoo beneath the rolls of his shirt sleeves, but didn’t comment on it, it was part of his past now.

I looked at the people before me and held tight to Mary’s hand, I dropped to one knee, and proposed to her at once.

“Mary, I will love you forever, please marry me, be my wife, Mary, please?” I looked directly into her eyes as I spoke, ruffling my hair with my knuckles, nerves getting the better of me in this precise moment.

“Yes! Of course I will be your wife! I love you too!” She stood to hug me and I felt her protruding baby bump press itself against my stomach.

Champagne for all was poured, Sonya took a glass of apple juice instead, somehow in a short time she had become part of our family as well.

“We would like for you to stay here with us.” Pauli announced.

“Yes, we can clean out my sewing room and set you up nicely in there, it would be wonderful!” Candy said as she clapped her hands together and stood to congratulate us.

“That is a rather generous offer, but first I need to speak with Edna about our news. I am afraid I left rather suddenly.” It was evident that Mary was worried sick about Edna, her eyes pleaded with mine for an answer.

“Let’s make sure you are well first, and then perhaps we can travel together, would that be easier dear?” Candy suggested we all travel to Binghamton, that way they could help give Mary courage in discussing her news and also meet her family. The atmosphere was sure to be strained and they would help.

“You mean you would come with me? Golly, that is kind and generous, but I think I need to face my folks alone, maybe Scotty, you could come though?”

“Of course, I will be right by your side.” I had so much to consider, so much to do and plan. I felt overwhelmed.

The clock on the mantle told the family it was dinnertime, so they sat to the table and supped together on roasted chicken and potatoes. Candy had even made homemade rolls, and brownies for dessert.

I watched Mary pick at her food and grew nervous at the thought of losing the baby. It didn’t seem she was eating enough and her ankles and calves were swollen.

Later that evening, after Sonya had fallen asleep on the couch and Candy and Pauli were in the Shoppe organizing and straightening the wares for tomorrow, I approached them with my concerns.

“Candy, is she okay? She is hardly eating and her ankles, did you see them?” Fear crept out of my mouth exposing my deepest concerns.

“Sit, Scotty,” she faced me.

“She needs rest, she hasn’t been to a doctor yet and I intend to see that she goes tomorrow. She is young and healthy otherwise so I feel certain she is okay. Edema can be more of a nuisance than anything in a pregnancy; she just may have to be off her feet more than some. We can help with that.”

I felt a little better, “but why isn’t she eating, shouldn’t she be eating even more now?”

“She is in the second trimester and her nausea is subsiding, things taste different during pregnancy, what she once loved she may cringe at now. Some pregnant women get by on milk and cookies alone, whatever she can stomach is fine. We just need to find what that is and make it available to her.”

“Well she did like your brownies.” We laughed.

“Can I ask you a personal question, it’s rather embarrassing?”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Scotty, what is it?”

“Well, I don’t want to hurt the baby if we….you know.” I couldn’t get out the words but Candy knew what I meant.

“No it won’t hurt the baby, and it might even be good for Mary. I will speak to her about it too if you like.”

“It’s just so good to be here with you, to have found you after all these years.”

“You too, Scotty, we have missed you.”

“I just don’t know how I’ll face Edna, they hate me.”

“Who could ever hate you?” Candy stroked my hair and Pauli pulled up a chair.

“Pap for one, and possibly Edna, for that matter the whole town if they think I caused harm to the Wright animals. Pap says if I loved Mary I would stay away, let her go, I will be unable to provide for her the way she is accustomed to living, and on that note he is right. She has grown up in a home full of furnishings and art, she has become far more cultured than I ever will and she is well educated. Do you know she wants to become a teacher? How can she be happy living as a farmer’s wife? I just don’t know what to do.” I explained to Pauli and Candy the situation with the Wright farm, the down payment necessary to buy in and become a farmer. Then I reiterated Pap’s concerns.

“But she loves you, Scotty, she doesn’t love a banker or lawyer, she loves you as much for your history together as for the man you are today. Money doesn’t make a person happy, she would be miserable without you and now you have the child to think about.”

“I realize that, that’s why I have to do something to make money and quickly. I can fight Vladimir. It pays just to get in the ring with him.”

Pauli stood up. “Absolutely not, I won’t allow it. The man is a hulk and one punch to the head could leave you brain damaged and your child fatherless. That is out of the question.”

On that note, Candy stood to take her leave. She wanted to check on Sonya before getting to bed herself.

Pauli and I were left alone to talk.

“There is another way.”

“What’s that, Scotty?”

“I hear a lot of talk about the gold rush in San Francisco. I could take my winnings and buy gear and a passage out west. It may be my big break; I could become a rich man and never be in anyone’s debt. Pap would have nothing to say then maybe that would be easier for Mary, she wouldn’t have to feel so torn then.”

“Son, the gold rush is over, yes men are still heading west in hopes of finding a new stream to pan but practically speaking, it’s unreasonable.”

“Maybe so, but I could get lucky, what do I have to lose? If I leave now, before the baby came and gave myself a year at most, I could be back to raise the child with Mary, hopefully a rich man. If not I would be no worse off than I am now. “

“It’s a stretch, but you know nothing of gold mining, it’s not like you just stick your hand in a river and pull up nuggets of gold. Nothing in life is that easy. And you have a lot to lose, Mary and your child for starters, or your life, thousands of men have died trying to strike it rich.”

“A few fellas at the tavern are going, they are taking rolls to sleep on, a few pots and pans to cook with and use for sifting and the rest they plan to purchase along the way. It’ll be easier to travel light. They talked of needing shovels, picks, axes, saws, rope, maybe even wheelbarrows and knives, of course a gun would be necessary too. They are gonna pan at first and save up for a cradle or sieve.”

“Hmmm, sounds like they know a little bit about it, but, son, everyone is dropping everything and hoping for a quick fix, easy money, and, Scotty, that’s just not the way it works for most people. You know that.”

“Maybe, Pauli, just maybe now is my chance for a little luck, especially with the baby coming.”

“Are you going to talk to Mary about it? You already know what she’s going to say.”

“That’s why I am not telling her, and neither are you. Not a word to Candy either. They’d tie me to a chair to make sure I stayed put.”

“I wouldn’t blame them. I just don’t think it’s the right thing to do, not now; Mary needs you. If you leave now it gives Pap more ammunition against you, can’t you see that?”

“All I know is that man equates worthiness with money. He will never give me his blessing to marry his daughter as I am now. He will challenge me for the rest of my life and that’s not fair to Mary.”

“I suppose that’s true, but what if you stay here in New York with us, raise your family here, be a part of our business. It does very well, we have a place to live and money left over for a few niceties every now and then.”

“Pauli, while that is generous and kind, Mary and I talked about this, she wants to raise her family in the country. She has grown to love it, and so have I.”

“Sleep on it, ok? Don’t do anything rash, give me a chance to think a little and see if I can’t come up with another idea.” Pauli scratched his thinning hair, deep in thought over my situation.

I hugged my surrogate father before heading upstairs to my fiancé, who was positively glowing. She lay naked waiting for me, “What took you so long?” Mary asked, before I crawled under the covers with her one last time before taking my leave and heading west. I would leave a note, explaining myself to Mary, begging her for forgiveness at my sudden departure.

Chapter 22 Gert

The atmosphere in the house was strained. Agitation emanated from Sarah’s unsteady fingers as she dressed my wounds and ministered to me. Before entering my room she spoke in hushed tones to Edna outside my doorway, attempting to soothe her sister’s distress, this much I was able to ascertain. I worried their conversation had something to do with me; perhaps they had finally tired of caring for me. I was becoming a burden, I needed to get well and out from under foot. My mind was a hindrance; unable to cite any previous occupations or skills I had, I was born again. But I had no idea what I liked, what I enjoyed, what I would or should fill my days and time with. It was apparent I had little to no family, or I suspect they would have come to call by now, claiming me with their love and nursing me back to health in my own homestead. No, that didn’t occur and the ladies were tight lipped about my past.

I studied my reflection in the looking glass the ladies lent me as if seeing myself for the first time. I noted my upturned nose and wide almond shaped eyes. I had larger than average ear lobes with several holes for adornments, a pointy chin and set of dimples. I had all my teeth, albeit they were yellowing. Feature by feature I was not much to look at but all together I would say I had an exotic look, which made me wonder about my heritage. The only thing with any familiarity was the brevity of my name, Gert. It was crisp like the first bite into a tart apple. I recognized ‘Gert’ the same way an adult retrieves a memory from childhood, it is there, but clouded over and hard to reach. My past evaded me, and my future eluded me, it was a terrifying predicament. A tingling in my toes and shins set in, working its way up my torso, down my arms, causing a numbing in my limbs. My breath became rapid, as true fear took over my physical being. I wiped at the sweat beads on my forehead and tried to settle myself. Panic was taking over and I felt the need to run. But to where?

I must gather my things and get out of this house. The women were generous and kind but I didn’t belong here. They discussed bringing a psychotherapist from out of state to see me; perhaps he could help me through my bout of amnesia with hypnotherapy. This frightened me to no end, I objected, exclaiming I just needed more time. I needed to be up and around and surely then things would jog my memory. My wounds were healing nicely, the tender area around my privates was the most difficult to heal, but I sat long enough on ice packs that the swelling was no longer a problem and the stitches were finally able to stay in place and do their job. The salve helped as well, it was cooling and always soothing. The ladies did their best to be discreet when tending to my private areas, always keeping me covered, careful not to expose me any more than necessary. I grew used to their soft touches and caresses, as they washed my body, then patted me dry, all the while speaking encouraging words to me.

I had never seen the women rattled, and swore Edna had been crying before she entered my room to care for me this day. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she had a look of concern and utter sadness.