Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three) (5 page)

“Don’t be nervous,” he murmured.

Letting out a long shaky exhale, her eyes closed. Then she began playing and singing a version of Oasis’ “Wonderwall” that was tortured and full of despair. Her voice was full-on grit. Not fake or forced, but natural. For the few minutes she performed, Nick was mesmerized.

When she finished the tune, Josie lifted her head and Nick was staring at her with an intensity she had never felt before. His mouth opened and closed several times, like he was trying to get his mouth and brain to work together. She swallowed hard, awaiting the criticism.

After a shake of his head, he said, “
That
was absolutely amazing.” Josie blushed. “Seriously, I’m blown away. Did you take lessons?”

“No,” she said shyly. “I taught myself.”

“Get the fuck out. And no vocal coaching, either?” He was astounded when she shook her head. “Well…shit. I feel like an amateur around you.”

“Oh, god. You are
so
not right,” she laughed.

“Play another,” Nick urged. She shook her head again and held the guitar out to him. “Come on. Don’t make me beg. I will, too.” He started to stand.

“All right, all right,” she said with a smile.

When Gunther saw Elaina walk into the cafeteria, he made his way to her, weaving around the tables and chairs. Pulling her aside, he said in a hushed tone, “I dumped everything but the vodka. We could use that for sterilizing wounds, if we need to.”

“Okay. Thanks.” She rubbed her exhausted eyes.

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s passed out again. I thought I would get myself something to eat while he sleeps some of it off.” She looked at Nick, who was chatting with Josie. “Looks like he’s doing somewhat better,” she huffed.

Gunther put himself in her field of vision. “If you need help with Henry, you let me know. Anytime, come find me.”

“I will. Thanks.” Tugging on her sleeves, she walked past everyone.

“Gunther…,” Thomas called. He was looking out the window, so Gunther followed suit. Elaina approached and saw about a half-dozen undeads staggering toward the town center.

“Shit,” he grumbled. “I’ll be right back. Elaina, close the blinds so the kids don’t see anything.”

After doing so, she tried to follow behind him, but was unable to keep up with his long strides. “Wait for me! I’ll go with you.”

“No, you stay in. I can handle this.”

With the anger of a two-year-old, she stomped her foot. “I’m not a shrinking violet!”

“I understand that, but with Henry out of commission at the moment, I’m taking over. So you are to stay in.” Gunther jogged down the hall, heading outside.

She yelled to his back, “I can fight!” Defeated, she turned back around and stalked back to the window. She felt like she really could have used something to get her aggression out. Making a few undeads true dead would probably do it.

Quinn was already there, peeking through the blinds, anxiously chewing on her thumbnail. Gunther made it to the herd and pulled out his hunting knife, making killing undeads look like child’s play.

“He trained Henry,” Elaina said to Quinn.

“He hurt him a lot, didn’t he? Like, worse than he has told me?” It was a question that should have never left her lips, but it was too late.

“Yes.” Her voice cracked. “On more than one occasion.”

When Quinn reached over and took her hand, a bond formed between them. They didn’t look at one another to acknowledge it. Instead, they watched Gunther drag the true dead bodies into the woods and out of sight.

Even though it was unnecessary, Quinn felt compelled to defend Gunther. “I’m sorry. However, I assure you he’s a changed man.”

“I know he is, but it’s still hard and I hate what he did. He has showed some compassion for Henry recently.” Quinn smiled. “I really appreciate his efforts and I’m sure Henry does…or will, at some point…as well. Hopefully,” Elaina worried.

“I hope so. You know, Gunther is learning quickly. It wasn’t long ago hugging him was like wrapping my arms around a marble statue.” Elaina laughed. “Everything he did was like he was programmed to do it and if it was something that wasn’t already in there, he was clueless. He’s becoming a little more natural in the affection department. Although, at times, he goes a little too far in public.”

“It has been a little different with Henry. He was already in the mindset he wanted out and worked through it all before we dated. Not that I want to think about him snuggling with someone else.”

“Yeah, I hear you. This is still new to Gunther, but I think he’s progressing nicely. Sometimes I wish he didn’t get so bitchy, though. He’s hard to deal with when he’s like that.”

“When they are in need, they can be intense.”

“How is Henry doing, by the way?” Quinn asked.

“He’s passed out.”

She squeezed Elaina’s hand tighter. “You will get through this.”

“I hope so. We have been through some pretty bad shit.”

“How much did he drink?”

“A lot,” she mumbled, a quick flush to her cheeks. It became very apparent to Quinn that Elaina was embarrassed about Henry’s behavior. “Sometimes he would go on scavenging trips just to look for booze. I don’t even want to get into it.”

“My father was an alcoholic.” Quinn cleared her throat, pushing back her memories. “The first few detox days will be bad. He’ll be sick a lot. It will take a couple days for it to fully kick in, then it will go on for a while. His body will be screaming for alcohol, and it will be difficult to watch. So, the best is yet to come. He’ll become much moodier than when he gets too, ahh…thirsty. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pull me aside. I will be glad to help if I can.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, full of shame. “I appreciate that.”

Gunther strolled back into the cafeteria and saw Quinn and Elaina huddled together by the window, chatting. “Enjoy the show?” he asked as he approached.

They nearly jumped out of their skins. “God!” Quinn put her hand to her chest.

He laughed. “I knew I was good, but I’m not sure I would go
that
far.” After wrapping his arms around Quinn’s waist, he groaned into her ear. Then, of course, he gave her backside a bit of a squeeze.

To break up the lovers’ moment, Elaina cleared her throat and Gunther spun around to look at her. “Well, I probably should go back and check on Henry.” She made a mad dash down the hall before either one could say anything.

After seeing Gunther and Quinn practically making out, jealousy took over. Elaina needed Henry to hold her like he used to. Missing that kind of affection, she needed him to hold her like Gunther did Quinn. She opened the door to their room and he was lying face up on the bed, his ball cap over his face.

The light… Jesus Christ, there was too much light. Kind of ironic since we lived in a world lit with candles. A beam of dimming sunlight, streaming through a separation on the papered window, was hitting my face just right, taunting me. Someone needed to blow out that giant fucking ball of flame in the sky.

With only one eyelid functioning, due to a mind-bending headache, I cranked it open and there it was. My trusty ball cap was laying on the desk next to the bed. I maneuvered my wretched body toward it and was finally able to snake an arm out and snatch the bloody thing. I laid it over my face with a sigh of relief, falling back into my familiar dark world.

Brilliant.

But then the door opened again. I lifted the cap just enough to peek out from under it.
My love
. Even with one squinted eye, she was stunning.

“Hey.”

“Shh…,” I shushed her. “My head’s pounding,” I groaned.

“I can’t imagine why.” Crossing her arms and leaning into one hip, there was that anger that she wore oh so
fucking
well.

“Please, don’t be angry with me,” I muttered.

With a loud sigh and heavy footsteps, she came to the side of the bed. I swear she purposely was stomping around the room. “How are your other issues? Are you in need?”

“Yeah.”

Making enough noise to wake the dead, she grabbed my pack and pulled out what we needed to perform the draw. Claire always used to hook her up when I was too pissed-up to find a vein. She became really good at it. Most of the time, Elaina didn’t feel the needle go in. “Not sure if I can do this on my own,” she said as she settled into a desk/chair combo.

“I’ll do it.” I tried sitting. “Fuck me,” I groaned and grabbed my head.

Elaina laughed. “Nope, don’t think so.” Her laughter rolled through my bones, causing an ache worse than my need. It was rather cheeky of her, but she couldn’t always control her impulse to kick me in the bollocks when I was down. I suppose I deserved it.

“Can it, Elaina,” I growled at her.

“I’m going to get Gunther to hook me up.”

I lifted my arm in the air, quite certain it weighed a metric ton. “I’ll be right here.”

“I figured as much,” she muttered.

Heading back to the cafeteria, Gunther and Quinn were nowhere to be found. Elaina wasn’t confident Josie or Nick could hook her up, so she jogged back down the hallway. She tried Gunther’s room, but they weren’t there, either.

“Fuck,” she snapped.

Before deciding to try outside, she checked her waistband to make sure her gun was in place. She was so used to the feel of it being jammed back there, it was a rare occasion when she actually felt the gun against her skin.

Elaina left the safety of the interior walls and stopped to listen for any sounds. There was chatting coming from behind the building. She turned the corner and stopped dead in her tracks.

Gunther was shirtless, hanging upside down on the bars at the playground, doing crunches. His physique was absolute perfection. At one time, Henry had a great body, but he had gone soft since starting his heavy drinking. She couldn’t even begin to describe Gunther. He wasn’t a musclehead, but he was large, trim, and very well-defined. He pulled himself up and, somehow, managed to get into a pull-up position in one slick move.

Elaina headed over to the playground. “You know, Captain Show Off, there’s a small workout room inside.”

Gunther looked up, jumped off the bar and shook his arms out. “Really? Hadn’t noticed,” he said with a laugh as Quinn tossed him his shirt.

“I can show you, if you want. I’m surprised you haven’t found it yet.”

“I know where it is. I just enjoy working out outdoors. I was actually going to go for a run after I warmed up a bit.” Planting his hands on his hips, he gazed around the half-demolished town.

“Well, I could use your help before you go. He’s in need, and Claire used to hook me up. He’s in no shape to do it.” Her embarrassment of Henry’s situation spread further.

“Lead the way,” Gunther said and waved her toward the door.

Quinn followed Elaina and Gunther in, retreating to their room instead of going with them to Elaina and Henry’s.

Elaina opened the door and Henry was lying on his back with his hat over his eyes…again.

When the door opened, I groaned, but didn’t look.
Fuck that.
I wasn’t going to allow any more light in my eyes until my head quit the spinning, sledge hammer to the temples routine.

“Gunther’s here,” Elaina muttered, an air of annoyance in her voice.

I raised my hand, briefly acknowledging his presence.

“How you feeling, mate?” Gunther asked with mild amusement.

His smirk was evident from his voice. “Fucking fantastic,” I mumbled.

I heard shuffling around, a couple chuckles, then a zipping sound. The hushed murmur of his flirtatious voice and her innocent tone infuriated me.

“Have a seat. Ready, sweetheart?” The chair creaked, telling me Elaina squirmed around in it.

Oh hellll, no. This is not happening. There is no way she can be taken in by that sexaholic twat.

A small panic attack set in, but it was easily hid under my hat. My love couldn’t possibly be falling for another, and the thought of it being
him
made it feel like a thousand centipedes were crawling around the surface of my skin.

His voice broke through my thoughts. “Elaina?”

“Huh? Oh, yes. Sorry. I get nervous doing this.”

No, she doesn’t. She hasn’t in a while.

“That’s all right. I will try to be as gentle as possible.” The sound of her breath catching in her throat made me want to gut the son of a bitch. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, just do it,” she snipped.

“How much?”

I was ready to flip. Then she cleared her throat as if she was trying to control herself. I wish she would because it was the last thing I needed. “Three vials are fine,” she said in haste.

The distinct sounds of a vials being switched leveled out the tension. I heard the sound of the elastic tube releasing off her arm, then the unhooking.

“You all right?” he asked her.

If I had the energy, I would have answered for her. I faded out, but I wasn’t completely out of it. Their voices echoed in my head.

“What the hell?” Gunther grumbled.

“What?” Elaina’s voice drifted through.

“He’s sleeping again.” Then he yelled in my ear, “Henry!”

I sat straight up. “What the fuck?!” I grabbed my head and groaned as he laughed. “Totally not funny, you fucking prat. I was just catnapping for a moment,” I growled.

“Yeah, it was funny.” He laughed again, waving the vials in front of my face. “Here. Your bird has a present for you.”

I snatched them and dumped them back with much appreciation. “Thanks, love.” My head listed back and a moan pushed out of my throat. I lay back down, reveling in the static buzz running through my entire body.

“Got everything handled here?” Gunther asked Elaina.

“Yes, umm… Thank you. It was very kind of you to help me.”

“Never a problem. Anytime you need me. I’m going to be in our room.”

“I’m sorry?”

“My and Quinn’s room. I’m going there…if you need anything.” He paused and I heard him take a few steps. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting a bit like a nutter here. You just seem a little out of it.”

“Yes, sorry. Just a lot on my mind, I suppose. I’m exhausted.”

“Right. Well, maybe you should get some rest. You’re looking ill. You’re missing that Elaina glow.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.”

Finally, the bloody door opened and closed. Relief swept over me. Elaina blew out a breath and cleared her throat. Her behavior with him made me want to put my fist through a wall. Never once have I even looked at another woman since we’ve been together.

Never.

Even when women threw themselves at me, I pushed them away without a second thought or a single glance. There was only one reason she was slipping from my grip. Me. I did this to us.

“Glad he’s gone?” I moaned as I spoke. I prayed she was.

“Yeah,” she yawned.

“Overbearing prick,” I said with a grumble.

Elaina went silent, making me wonder what she was thinking about.

“I’m sorry. What?”

“Gunther. He’s an overbearing prick.”

“Henry, don’t be ungrateful,” she said. “He just helped you.”

“Yeah, and he lingered. Damn sex addict,” I mumbled. “He’d fuck a tree if there was a hole in the right spot.”

“Henry! What is wrong with you?!” Elaina’s fists clenched at her sides, and I wasn’t sure as to why she was offended.

Or maybe I was.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “You know nothing about him, Elaina! Don’t think I didn’t hear all of your off breathing and nervous behavior.”

Her face reddened. I couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. “What the hell are you talking about?” she growled.

Incensed she was caught? How will she explain herself out of this one? Good fucking luck.
“I get it, Elaina. He’s got a little up on me. He’s easy on the eyes, great body, and he could make an entire room of women drop their panties and orgasm just from a wink. I look sullen, soft in the belly, and I’m certain you aren’t swooning for me anymore.” Then I paused. “But mostly, he’s not an alcoholic like me.” I actually said the words again. I rubbed my chest as the pain settled in. Truth really
did
hurt.

“Add paranoid to that list,” she mumbled.

“That’s not helping me.”

“Henry, listen… I think you’re pretty damn sexy.”

I laughed. My confidence had dwindled to nothing. I sighed. “I’m sorry, Elaina. I know I’ve been a chore lately, especially since you have been trying to keep my issues under wraps.”

She kneeled next to me. Her fingers fumbled through my hair. “You’re sick.”

The guilt was overwhelming. “In more ways than one,” I grumbled. I couldn’t tell her all the ways. I was humiliated enough. If I told her about the voices, it would push me over the edge.

“Well, we can get you through one at a time.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered.

“I love you so much.”

How could she love me? I’m a joke.
“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I haven’t been lovable lately.” I wouldn’t even look at her.

She grabbed my face and turned it toward her. “Yes. I’m sure.”

A gradual smile graced her beautiful face as she continued to play with my hair. My total insecurity was new to her and I didn’t know if she knew how to handle it. Frankly, neither did I. It was getting more disturbing by the second. I had a feeling she was just appeasing me, but I was willing to play along to spare myself from the devastation.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be with Captain Big Cock?”

“Oh, my god…” She put her head in her hands, then looked back at me.

“Sorry. I’ve heard stories.”

“Well, just so you know, I’m
extremely
pleased with what you have.”

“I hope so. Can’t change that,” I mumbled.

“Don’t worry. You are quite…perfect.” I smirked. “You keep me satisfied…when you aren’t shitfaced.” And there it was. Kick in the bollocks round two. “You’ve passed out a few times on top of me,” she muttered.

“I know. No need to remind me of that.” I pulled my hat back over my face, muffling my voice. “I’m sorry.”

Pulling it away, Elaina leaned over and kissed my sweaty forehead. “You feel up to eating yet?”

Just the thought of food made my belly churn and knot back up. “Oh, god…no.”

“Sorry. Well, I should let you rest.” She kissed my cheek.

Rolling over onto my side, another groan escaped me. She covered me with a blanket and left the room. I moaned as my stomach churned and rumbled, then my trembling turned into full-blown shakes again.

Fucking ridiculous. What the hell did I do to myself?