Free Agent (6 page)

CHAPTER 4

After two straight weeks of hanging out every single day, Deja still refused to commit to me. It was cool. I was just happy being around her. I was doing my thing which consisted of staying away from all the other girls that were blowing up my phone. Selena. Selena. Selena. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Deja was going to be my girl. That was a fact but like so many things in my life some bullshit resurfaced to block my flow. I wasn’t going to let that happen. I have to take control of my life. I’m so tired of these girls trying to lock my cock down when I had made it clear I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I didn’t mean Deja. I wanted her to lock me down.

Now that I’m trying to actually have a real girlfriend these young sluts are pouring salt all over me. They pour salt and I pour cement. It was time to call
la mia famgilia
. I had to involve my uncle.

Uncle Mason drove me to Bar Louie. I loved it there. They had the best looking barmaids and waitresses. In my naughty past I had my eyes on this one heavy Puerto-Rican chica that worked the bar. I also had my eye on this cougar, a much older Italian lady. At this time I wasn’t making any romantic moves with anyone but Deja.

I had to move forward and get rid of some of my past dead weight. Plus I was trying hard to take things to the next level with Deja. I couldn’t hide another girl from her. We had been spending so much time together and Deja was too clever. I knew she would probably catch me creeping. I wasn’t going to risk it. 

I wish I could be with her right now. Deja and me time had to be put on hold. I had to ask Uncle something and I knew he was going to be a little pissed. I picked tonight because I knew he was in a good mood. He saw Kari today. He was always in a good mood after they smashed. I noticed that right away.

Uncle was a different man after her visits. He joked around with us. He bought us lunch. He let me bullshit around in the office. The longer he was away from Kari the grumpier he got. I would never let a woman have that kind of control over me. She had him by the pork and beans. Then again she must have some good pussy to affect his mood like that. Uncle was the definition of pussy whipped.

For shame, I whip the pussy. The pussy doesn’t whip me. I should get that tattooed on my back. There’s no way I could pull that off. I couldn’t hide it from my moms. She would surely kill me with that 22 she carries in her purse.

Some new waitress seated us over by the patio. Tonight I was a little nervous but Uncle wasn’t Oscar the Grouch today so all bets were in my favor. I waited until we got our beers. I ordered the fries and calamari.

“Okay kid what’s up. Why am I here?” Uncle asked but he was still in a good mood. His tone was even and steady.

“Uncle Mason, I need to hit you up for some cash.”

“How much?” He asked taking a sip of his beer. He was still being cool.

“Four hundred.” I waited for him to snap. He was quiet. He was waiting for more info. “There’s this Mexican girl named Selena. She’s pregnant. I got two hundred dollars but I need more to terminate this pregnancy.” Wonder if Selena knew she was pregnant when we had the threesome. I guess it doesn’t matter.

Uncle shook his head and glared at me. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah I’m for reals. If I’m lying I’m dying.”

“How old is she?”

“Twenty.”

“You’re going in raw? You’re not using protection with these girls?”

“We started with condoms. But this one time the condom broke and I was already in there so after that, I mean whatever.”

“Christ RJ. This should be your first and last abortion.” Actually it’s the second but who’s counting. Plus I have a four year old. I guess he doesn’t know that. “Do you even know that she’s really pregnant?”

“Yeah I’m not a friggin’ idiot. I bought two of those EPT tests and I watched her pee in the stick.”

“Is this kid even yours?” 

“Unc, don’t even ask me if it’s mine. I can’t be sure. Nowadays these girls are so slutty. It’s hard to keep them on one cock at a time.”

“RJ, RJ, RJ you are the biggest ass-clown this family ever produced.” He rubbed his hand over his face.

“Now that’s a bit harsh. I’m learning from my mistakes. I’m still young and I have time to grow and mature.” I would say anything to get the money. Selena popping up pregnant after she told me she was on the pill. This is some bullshit.

“How long you going to use that I’m young card?”

“Til I’m twenty-eight.”

“That shit expires at twenty-five.” He joked with a serious expression.

“I couldn’t go to my moms. She was going to bust my balls, call me a man-whore and probably tell my pops. I’m coming to you ‘cause you my favorite uncle. It’s hard for me to control my junk. It’s like my cock has a mind of its own. You gotta understand?”

“I understand.” He agreed and shocked me with his sincerity. “Once I give you the money, how do I know this girl is going to get an abortion with it?”

“I’m not a total idiot.”

“That’s up for debate.” He lowered his eyes at me and guzzled his beer down.

“That’s cold. I’m going to take her to the clinic. I’m not going to put the money in her hand. I’m going to drive her there and pay the doctor myself.”

“What if she changes her mind?”

“Uncle, I told her if she doesn’t get rid of it, I’ll stop giving her my Italian sausage. She wants my cock more than she wants to change poop diapers.”

“I sure hope so. I should punch you in the balls then maybe you would stop fucking everything in a thirty mile radius.”

“I don’t fuck everything in the general vicinity.”

“Everything but the blondes and redheads.” Uncle knew my type, I had an identifiable type. I only liked dark tan girls with dark hair. That excluded a lot of women but it included Italians, Mexican’s, Puerto-Ricans, Dominicans, Cubans, and Blacks. He was one to talk. Kari and Tess were polar opposites. One was from the North Pole and the other was from Africa.

“Once you’ve had sex with this girl without condoms, you can’t go back to condoms. She’s not going to stand for it. What happens if she gets pregnant again?”

“After the abortion I’m done with Selena. Pregnancy is the best way to get rid of me. Besides I’m seeing someone else now, this hot, black, high school virgin.”

“RJ, you’re an adult you can’t fuck high school girls and you can’t let them suck your cock. You will go to jail.” Uncle Mason shook his head. He was always trying to school me but I wasn’t a total idiot.

“This black girl, Deja is ei
ghteen. I’m no statutory rapist.”

“She better be. I swear if you fuck an underage girl I’m not bailing you out of jail.”

“I’m not. I swear I saw Deja’s driver’s license. She’s legal. So what’s up with the money?”

“I will write you a check. This is the first and last abortion I’m funding.”

“I swear I will wrap it up from now on but not with the virgin. That would just be a waste of a Magnum.” I smirked. I was cocky and I had the big cock to back it up. Can’t wait to use it on Deja.

“RJ, use protection with these girls.”

“Do you use protection?” Shit! Did I just say that? Wrong move. My mouth got away from my brain.

Uncle was glaring at me. “Listen smart ass, if I make any babies I have the means to take care of them. I’m not asking for your money. You are asking for mine. So take the money and shut the fuck up. You get my advice for free you spoiled dick.”

Chill old dude. “Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I’m going to be cool. I’m gonna wrap it up.”

After Uncle Mason gave me his golden look of disappointment he decided to lecture me. Uncle was giving me a nice sermon on responsibility but he was still in that good mood his side piece had put him in. I could have told him that zombies were attacking and he would have still maintained a good mood. Kari was a ray of sunshine to Uncle and she was a valuable asset to me even though she didn’t know it.

I had a strange feeling that I was being watched. It didn’t take long for me to notice a blonde dude looking over at me and Uncle’s table. It was an old dude so he couldn’t have been watching me. He had to know Uncle Mason.

“That guy over there is looking at you. You know him?” I asked while stuffing cold fries in my mouth.

“Who?” Mason asked as he looked over his shoulder in the wrong direction.

“Over by the bar, near the entrance.” Mason and I were looking and that’s when I saw Kari. Shit that’s Uncle’s lady. Uncle Mason turned back to me and took a long gulp from his second beer.

“I know that prick. That’s Kari’s boyfriend.”

“Dude is eye fucking you so hard you should wear a condom.”

“He doesn’t like me. I kicked his ass once, busted him up, blacked his eye.”

“And you’re fucking his girl.” Let’s not forget about that DeNiro. Uncle looked across the table at me and I thought he was going to knock my teeth in.

“Let’s get the check and get out of here.”

“You paying?”

“When have you ever paid for anything? I got it.” Uncle pulled his credit card out his wallet and started tapping it on the table. I could sense he wanted to blow this joint. His eyes were looking around for the waitress. He wanted to leave pronto. I guess he didn’t want to see Kari out on a date with her boyfriend. He was being weird. I don’t know why, he had just banged her a few hours ago. Whatever he feels for Kari, she must feel the same way about him.

Before Tess’ surprise visit, Kari came to the office so often that she was like family.

The black guys that worked for Uncle started calling him DeNiro. Everybody at the job knew Uncle was fucking her.

There was an unspoken hands-off policy that all the employees were privy too. Uncle was clueless, but his little chick on the side made the other workers like and respect him more. He was such a perfectionist. He was this hard ass boss that was constantly barking orders. When they saw him fucking up or having an affair, it made them see him as a human instead of this uptight robo-boss.

I talked to Uncle’s head guy Marcus about Mason and Kari once. Marcus told me black pussy was like weed. He said weed could make the biggest asshole turn into a cool mofo and black pussy had the same effect. I wanted to tell Marcus he was right and I had my fair share but I had fucked his daughter before she want away to Howard University and it was a secret. Marcus would fuck me up if he knew I fucked his daughter and pounded that virginity right out of her dark chocolate ass. It took me two months to convince her to not go away to college a virgin.

Uncle waved our busty waitress over. “Check please. He wants to wrap this up.” Uncle Mason pointed to what was left of my calamari and fries.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” The waitress smiled. I think she was checking my uncle’s arms out. His arms were huge. I was built pretty good but I was a little scrawny pup compared to him. Uncle was a buff ass Italian with blue eyes and dark blonde hair. He never noticed any of the ladies checking him out or maybe he didn’t care. After all he is pussy whipped.

I was too lazy for weight training. I did it a little here and there. I hoped I could look as good as him when I’m thirty-nine.

The waitress was back soon with the check and with my stofoam container. It didn’t take long to pay and head out. We were going to have to walk pass Kari to exit the building. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go down.

What I did know was that Uncle was feeling Kari on some of that grown up love shit. I also knew he had an actual fight with her old man. So maybe it was about to go down. Maybe it wasn’t. Uncle stood up first. I was going to follow, watch his back. We made our way toward them and Uncle was looking straight ahead. I see how he’s going to play it. I could see the guy Kari was with better now that we were closer. He was a blonde guy with a spruce beard. He looked like an old California surf dude. He didn’t look anything like Uncle Mason. The only thing they had in common was they were both Caucasian. She likes white cock, surprise surprise.

“Mason!” The blonde dude called out to Uncle.

Uncle
Mason stopped walking and I almost bumped into him. The sound of the guy’s voice over the music brought me to a halt at the same time as Uncle. What the fuck did he want? From Uncle Mason’s side of the story they weren’t even Facebook friends. I’m sure they weren’t following each other on Twitter. Do old people even know what Twitter is?

“Jack.”
Uncle Mason said in an even tone. “How you been?” He asked the guy called Jack.

The guy was caught off guard by my uncle’s demeanor. Uncle had taken a polite pill, a chill pill and slipped on a latex calm-dom.

“I’ve been great. How’s Tess?” Oh snap this douche asked Uncle about his wife right here in front of Kari. Everybody was staring at Uncle, waiting for his time bomb’s clock to tick out.

The explosion never happened. Uncle Mason was cool
. He had a weird smirk on his face like he had a secret. For reals, three out of the four of us had a secret. Jack was out of the mix.

“Tess is great. My entire family is great. I see you and Kari are still going strong.
” Uncle boastfully replied.