Freedom (Delroi Prophecy) (12 page)

Roarr, holding her hand, tugged her out of the transport and towards the shuttle. He held her back after the others boarded. She wished that meant they were turning around and going right back to his bed. She knew better when she got a look at his pained expression. It dimmed her ardor a bit, enough she thought it might be bearable.

“
What you’re feeling is mating lust,” he said softly. “We have to control it. There is no privacy on this shuttle.”

And wasn’t that mortifying? Parker was a telepath, and as far as Kareena knew so were the warriors joining them on this journey. The last thing she wanted was anyone else knowing how horny she was. It was embarrassing to have so little self control, frankly. Even now, knowing better, she wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off and throw herself at him.

He gave her a half smile. “With even the smallest semblance of privacy I’d take you up on that,
der’lan
.”

“
That isn’t helping,” she pointed out, but she was back in control. Sort of. “How long is this flight?”

“
Ninety minutes.”

She groaned.
“And after that?”

He’d said hours. There was no way she would make it that long.

“I’ve been gone several weeks. Things have piled up in my absence.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. He didn’t have to explain that running the clan took priority over an afternoon booty call. She wasn’t sure what to think about that. If she was the mate of his heart as he insisted, didn’t he have obligations to her to? Namely fucking her until her body no longer ached with arousal. But he did have other obligations and he took them seriously. She respected that and wasn’t selfish enough to make demands on his time.

“
Are you ready?” he asked interrupting her thoughts.

“
Yeah. Let’s get this over with.”

She found a seat away from the others in the back corner of the shuttle, and breathed a sigh of relief when Roarr sat next to her and took her hand. The contact helped tame her craving.

“What’s wrong?”
Parker asked her telepathically from the other end of the shuttle. Kareena met her gaze with a subtle head shake.

“
Nothing. I’m just tired, and the whole alien planet thing is a lot to take in.”

“
You’re sure?”

Hell, no. But whatever this thing was growing between her and Roarr, she wasn’t ready to share it yet. Wasn’t ready to voice the reality yet.

“Of course.”

Thankfully Parker let it go, and turned to speak with the warrior sitting next to her. Kareena repressed a grin. She’d felt Parker’s irritation with Kaje, but Kareena doubted he would be as easy for Parker to brush off as she usually did.

“Anything I should know about?” Roarr asked softly.

She turned to look at him, curious about how extensive his abilities were.
“You knew I was talking to her?”

“
Parker?” He nodded an affirmative.

“
I thought you were an empath.”

“
Yes. My…talent seems to be altering.” He shrugged. “I’d heard that was possible when one finds his
der’lan
. Most couples develop the ability to communicate with through the bond. And people who are sensitives often develop full telepathic ability.”

Interesting. She heard honesty in his response, but sensed he was holding something back. Something to do with mates, which she wasn’t prepared to deal with yet. But it looked like hiding her head in the sand was quickly losing out as an option.

“And what aren’t you telling me?”

“
Ours isn’t complete,” he said reluctantly.

“
The prayer.”

She’d heard some of the words in his thoughts, but she didn’t believe in magic. Surely, that invocation wouldn’t have any real power. He chuckled and shook his head.

“You’ll see, baby.”

“
I’d rather not, thanks,” she said, then pressed her lips together.

She felt his disappointment but hardened her heart. Hadn’t she given up enough? Her world, her job, all the people she’d helped escape Tel. All that was left was her freedom, and she only had it because she was on Delroi. On Earth she’d have to spend the rest of her life hiding. It probably wouldn’t have taken long to get caught again. It was ironic that the one place she could be free was likely to land her in another kind of captivity.

Next to her, he sighed and squeezed her hand. “It would be easier if you asked instead of making assumptions,” he chided gently.

“
What do you mean?” she asked despite herself. She so didn’t want to have this conversation right now.

“
You aren’t being starved or tortured. You aren’t locked behind bars. You can hardly claim you are a prisoner.”

She narrowed her eyes. She might not be an inmate, but what he wanted from her would forever strip away her independence. He shook his head.

“Where are you getting this from?” he asked, sounding confused. Hell, he might really not get it.

“
I wasn’t around Janice and Falkor long, but it was enough to know they’re psychically bonded. Same for Britt and Barak. A bond like that can never be severed.”

He went very still next to her.
“What makes you think they want to?”

“
Now? I’m sure they don’t. The sex is probably great,” she said sarcastically. “But in ten years? Twenty? What happens when the bloom wears off? When the desire fades? Even if they went their separate ways their minds will always be connected.”

She shuddered.
“Can you imagine how awful that would be? You’d know when your ex was screwing someone else, because you’d always be tied to them.” She shook her head. “That is the very opposite of freedom, Roarr.”

She could read the protest in his mind, but he didn’t voice it. After a moment he shielded his thoughts.

“Okay,” he finally said. So softly she had to strain to hear. “When we arrive at the Keep, you will be shown to your rooms. If you want to pursue our relationship, you can seek me out.”

What the fuck? He was withholding sex because she didn’t want a serious relationship? It was the craziest thing she’d ever heard. Usually it was the guy running the opposite direction.
This just wouldn’t work. He’d stoked this passion between them. He’d made in unbearable. And now he wanted to back off? Fuck him. She reached for her lap belt, but he stopped her before she could release it and stomp off.

“
Oh no, angel. You want to make the rules, you get to live with them.” His voice rose and several of the others turned to look at them.

“
Hush,” she hissed.

His eyes narrowed, glittering in warning. She felt a shiver of excitement and her sex clenched in anticipation.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t make this harder.”

When had it been easy? She’d only known him a week and he’d turned her inside out. She pulled her hand free.

“Then don’t touch me.”

And wow, now that it had sunk in, his rejection stung a lot more than she would have expected.

“I’m not rejecting you, baby. I’m giving you what you want. If you don’t want that connection you see in the others? Then I suggest you stay far away from me.”

God, he was right. She’d known a few telepaths on Earth who were bonded. If she wanted to avoid that fate she’d need physical and psychic distance. The more their minds touched the harder it would be to resist. Again, she reached for the lap belt, but he stopped her.

“Don’t.” There was a rawness in his voice that made her freeze, and she resisted the urge to enter his mind. “Just give me this time. We’ll be separated soon enough.”

She couldn’t say no when he asked like that. When she felt his regret and sorrow and longing. She nodded and was careful to keep her mind shielded as he laced their fingers together again, leaned his head back against the rest, and closed his eyes. Unfortunately, that left her with nothing to do, but face the situation and try to figure out what the hell she was going to do. She could try to return to Earth to continue the work her father had begun, but surprisingly she no longer felt any guilt about giving it up. It had been his hope one day she’d have a normal life, and her life would never be normal there. She could insist on returning to Saber City or seek the protection of another chief. It would be the smart thing to do and she thought Roarr might even go for it right now. Something held her back. It sucked. She couldn’t give him what he wanted, but she couldn’t make herself turn away either.

“It was a fluke,” she said softly. “Getting caught.”

It wasn’t the fear she’d buried so deep even she wouldn’t face it, but it was a fear. A secret. He didn’t open his eyes, didn’t turn to look at her, but he squeezed her hand in silent encouragement to go on. She exhaled a breath she hadn’t been aware of holding.

“There’s a network of people like me in the Alliance. Unregistered psychics. We exchange information and help people escape the country when we can. We’re spies more than soldiers, but we can do that too.”

“
You had a way out but didn’t take it?”

“
No,” she said, almost sad to hear it put so bluntly. Her next words skated too close to a fear, a truth she wasn’t ready to share. “I didn’t have as much to lose if I got caught. We mostly helped families.”

She didn’t have anyone to lose she should have said, but she buried the thought.

“What happened?”

“
We went to meet a woman and her little girl. We arrived in town a couple days early, just checking it out and stopped at the same gas station as a Tel agent.”

She still couldn’t believe they’d been caught because of something so coincidental. So stupid.

“He knew who you were?” he asked curiously.

She laughed.
“Oh yeah. I was the leader of the underground. I’m on their most wanted list.”

What a bitter pill to swallow. Thirty years of living free, of avoiding Tel, and caught so effortlessly.

“And that’s why you think you make such a valuable prisoner,” he murmured. “They want you alive to expose your network.”

“
I couldn’t give them names even if I wanted to. It isn’t set up that way.”

He squeezed her hand again.
“You have honor, baby. You’d never betray people you’ve sworn to protect.”

She smiled, relieved he understood that much about her, but feeling a strange unwelcome sorrow settle over her. In some ways they were alike, she and Roarr, but for the first time in her life she wished she was different. If only for just a moment, she wished she was the kind of woman who could give back what he needed.

Roarr watched Kareena as she leaned towards the window for their descent. He’d told the pilot to swing out over the sea so the newcomers could get the best look at their new home. It was simply called the Keep. At the summit of the mountain, his fortress sprawled, the city seeming to spill from its gates down the sides of the mountain. Whitewashed buildings glared in the bright sun, some few of the city’s hidden green treasures visible from this height. They landed inside the fortress walls in moments and he led the way down the ramp, allowing Kareena to pull free and hang back, though it damned near killed him.

She’d finally opened up some with her story of how she’d been caught and what she used to do. She was strong and capable, used to going her own way, used to having a noble purpose. He couldn’t give her that. It’s not like he was going to let her go out and fight. Especially with rebels after her and the seer’s warning. The very idea made him shudder. He turned back to look at her, thinking over their conversations. She hadn’t hinted even once she wanted to replace her old work. She hadn’t indicated any new plan for her life. Letting his mind expand, he took in her emotions and was surprised at the stark loneliness that washed over him. He wanted nothing more than to go to her, wrap her in warmth and companionship. She yearned for just that, yet still she held herself apart. He ignored the twisting in his gut and thought he’d succeeded in keeping his feelings from his face until his mother stepped forward ahead of the welcoming party.

“
Hello, mother,” he murmured, embracing her.

She kept her hands on his arms as she leaned back and gave him a searching look.
“And who is the woman who dared put that look on my son’s face?” she responded just as softly. Teasing. He hoped. “Should I send my assassins for her?”

“
You would be condemning me to a lifetime of misery. Hopefully this will only last a few days,” he replied dryly.

She cocked an eyebrow. Roarr didn’t need to use empathy to know his mother was intrigued.
“Most women on Delroi would kill to mate into our clan.”

“
And therein lies the problem.” He sighed, turning to watch Kareena with her friends. “She’s from Earth.”

He felt more than her heard her gasp.
“She’s one of the newcomers the rebels were after at the temple.”