Friends and Enemies (Gwen Farris Book 5) (14 page)

Heather was better at that kind of thing, being a normal Westmorland, if not a regular person.

"I'm not sure I love the idea of Katherine Vernor being let out, even for an hour a day. She killed you, after all. There are hints of other things too. You get that, right? Poor Beth has been trying to drop what hints she can, but that might not be safe." It meant something, but Gwen let most of it roll off of her. It probably had to do with whatever plot they had going on, in regards to her.

It was a great topic, and one that Gwen would have never thought of bringing up herself. She took a deep breath, then told the truth as she knew it.

"I know.
I
don't trust it either, yet. Really, I may never be able to. We're at kind of an impasse though, she and I." The thoughts came slowly, her mind still filled with fear and pain. Fear
of
pain, too, as well as a sense that the world was about to end. That never went away anymore, so she ignored it.

"What's that then?" Heather seemed not to get it all, even if it was clear to Gwen.

"Uh, well, from the inside she can take over whenever she wants. The only thing that's stopping her is that she knows that you and the other Westmorlands will find and kill her if that happens. I thought, for a while, that
I
was in charge. That I could keep her at arm's reach, stuffed down inside through force of will. But... No. She just takes over when she wants, now."

It was a horrible thing to consider, but also true. Katherine Vernor
was
in charge of herself, and her own being, and nothing Gwen did about it from the inside could stop her. It wasn't about being stronger mentally. If that was the case then she would have won every time, Kate being a little ball of fluff compared to her that way. Gwen was more flexible, magically speaking, and could focus better, as well as take more raw pain and keep on going. In almost every important way, she should have been able to easily slap the other woman down.

It was
her
body though, and in the end that seemed to be the big old trump card. No amount of will could overcome that. Gwen was the possessing spirit, and the good human girl she was trying to boss around actually held all the real power that way.

Her Westmorland friend fiddled with her right hand pocket, touching it almost as if considering something deep. The one where she kept the lethal bit of metal that traveled with her, always. Her PC. It wasn't done in a threatening manner. Just as if she were reassuring herself that it was still there. Gwen let it go, getting more feedback about how the other woman felt on the topic from that one gesture than how she was holding her face or body.

"Then why isn't she in control all the time? Why let you have any control, ever? She could have kept you down from the start, and if she wanted to do it now, well, what can we do? Kill
you
to get at her? I don't think the king will like that. In fact, I know he wouldn't. Don't forget, he actually likes you."

Gwen nodded, making sure to do it so large that even the girl inside would get the idea.

"Yep. That's part of it. Killing me, I mean. Also, as shallow and vain as she is, I think she just feels guilty about killing me. Remember, Erin had told all her people that the Elder Gods would bring back
all
the sacrifices. Maybe. That wasn't ever going to happen, of course, but small groups can believe strange things. Plus, I know that she doesn't really understand it yet, but I'm almost certain there was mind control involved in getting her to do what she did to me. If that's true... Well, can we really blame her for it? Even if she's an awful person inside, it wasn't all her doing. Then, after the events in the cave, the way things felt, she had to know that it wouldn't have taken place. No one that was there could think otherwise. If those things had come through, the very best any of us could hope for would be death."

That part didn't take explaining. Both of them looked over their shoulders then, with Gwen going first, toward where it felt like the rip in space was taking place. Everyone felt like it was behind them, but the placement in the air was the same for each. Slightly over, and behind them, on the right. It didn't matter where they'd been standing in the room at the time. It was palpable, in every single moment.

When the strawberry blonde woman turned back, her ponytail moving a bit, she grimaced. Then she wrinkled her nose, which was devastatingly cute. She tried to remember the movement, since it would look good on Kate too, if she could learn the move.

"So, Katherine still has a sense of guilt? That's a good thing. I wouldn't have thought she could see any of us as being fellow humans, much less feeling bad about
hurting
anyone. I'm not ready to let her off, as far as the responsibility for her actions. I understand what you mean, since Debussey's mesmerism was devastating, but..."

"Yeah. So, the only thing I have to hold her back is that other people will kill me if she takes over all the time. Worse, on a certain level I feel
bad
for her. Okay, she stole my life, but it wasn't that great of one. I keep telling everyone that, but you all act like I was a secret princess stolen from her job as the future queen. I was really taken away from a drudgery of days though. Spent alone, waiting for the next attack. No friends, or even acquaintances to stand by me or help me pass the time. The closest I had to anything approaching that was a neighbor that put fruitcakes on my porch at Christmas. I mean, the only person that had
ever
tried to help me was Billy."

She'd told that story before, so Heather didn't speak about it. There was just a slow nod, and a sad look. One that held pity.

Gwen went on, her voice a bit strained.

"This is
better
. Even with the pain, and work. I can even make a difference here. Help people. Plus the being good looking, and rich, don't hurt either. Even to have it for a little while... For decades I lived a life so secluded and drab that even being
attacked
was an improvement at times." That was part of her fear though. That Kate would come to understand that even a year in this place was worth the rest of her own life. As trades went it was one that was more than fair.

If she did that however, she might want her own life back, and then... Well, Gwen couldn't blame her. She didn't
want
to give it back, but past a certain point the two worlds didn't measure up. They simply couldn't. If the other girl were prevented from being able to live by Gwen, then sooner or later it was going to be a kind of theft, too. It would be her stopping Kate from being alive, well past what the loss of her own life should earn her.

Kate took over then, as Gwen felt a thrill of panic come over her. If she'd heard what had just been thought, then Gwen realized her life might well be over now as anything except a passenger. She hadn't even gotten to tell anyone else goodbye. There were people that she'd miss. The only saving grace to the whole thing was that it was just the mouth that moved. Gwen flapped her hand a little, just to see that she could do it.

"She's simply the better woman, Miss Westmorland." That was all she said, though the tone of voice and accent gave away what had just taken place.

"Sorry?" Heather slowly started to take out her PC, which got a chuckle in response.

"Miss Farris. She's a better person than I am. Not that I love admitting it, but
that's
why I won't take my life back from her, even if I could get away with it. I wronged her, no matter why that took place, but it goes beyond that. In the one year that she's been in this world, she'd done so much more than I ever would have. I
can't
take my body away from her, not because of guilt, but due to the idea that doing so will make
me
less important. So we share. I'll help her as I can, and grouse about her poor makeup skills, and
woeful
fashion sense, as I sit back and marvel over
everything
else she does. So, no, you don't have to worry about me doing that. I know that she can't trust it, not yet, but it's the truth."

That didn't fit totally however, did it? Gwen was, in the end, just
her
. A broken and small woman that wasn't worth enough for anyone to spend time with, much less to be given all she had. Right now, as she sat there, she was no more than an evil and ugly demon, stealing the girl's world from her.

Kate kept talking, but changed up, to speak to her. It made her sound well and truly crazy.

"That's not true though, Gwen! You
feel
like you aren't important, but every movement you've taken through this world is better than what I would have done. I helped a madwoman nearly destroy everything, and
you
helped fix it. If someone had called to tell
me
that three children had been taken in a distant city, I would have yawned and asked if they wanted to come to my next party. You...
You
brought the might of the Kingdom to bear, and saved two of them.
I
can barely sit here with Miss Westmorland and not sneer, thinking her beneath me. Even as I know that she's as good a person as I've ever met. Gwen Farris however has worked, at great personal cost, to free her kind. Because it's the correct thing to do. Even here, in this world, we don't keep slaves. Except we did, for decades, and only one person has spoken out against it." It was shocking, but the girl stood up, then almost dropped them back into place on the soft sofa, giving control of the body back instantly.

"Think about it Gwen. I
know
that you're right. That you're good and doing what should be done. I could do it too, but the fact is, I won't. If I have my body all the time, then I'd go back to what I was, almost instantly. I..." There was a low and frustrated growl. "I can't explain it better than that. Not that it matters. If I take over, your friends will execute me. Even if I ran off, they'd find me. Unless I could figure out passage to a different land and some way to purchase protection. If you think of a way to do that, please enlighten me, by the way. I just want you both to know that I'm not even trying to do that. Yes, I want to be allowed to do things at times. I get bored. Sorry Miss Farris, but you
aren't
the most interesting of people all the time. All that running for instance. Your conversational skills are lacking as well, and the humor value in you has faded over time. What you are, however, is
good
. That's all. I have no more to say on the matter."

Then the other woman in her head went silent, letting her have control again.

Gwen slapped her own face, just a bit, trying to make sure she was in control again. She was.

"Well. I can't buy
any
of that, can you? Saint Gwen, come to save us all?" At the end she added a little sound effect, a
mwaaa
, sound, that she was trying to use to show how good and holy she was.

The Westmorland smiled at it.

"What's a saint?"

"Um... A good and holy person. It's a Christian thing... Never mind."

"Ah. Well, I
can
purchase it, in that case. The hard part isn't in believing that you're a worthy person, just that Katherine Vernor would think that's a good enough reason to leave you in control. Then again, she wasn't wrong, about
any
of it. If she tries to take over, we'll know, and end her life. She can't run, or hide, inside the Western Kingdom, and even if we would allow it, she
still
isn't wrong. It would be hard to live up to your example. Removing you from the picture would harm the whole world, removing a resource that we simply wouldn't have, otherwise." There was no sense that she meant herself in that one however. Heather didn't worry about living up to any ideal, except what she was trained to.

Which was because all the Westmorlands were freaking humble. Gwen kind of was, too, but
that
was down to her low self-esteem, so wasn't as good as what they did. Everything about her played through that part of her in the end. It was a constant thing that never truly lifted. Heather had been efficiently trained to be that way, since she was a tiny child. For the Westmorlands it was about leaving them open to do the best job possible. She was just that crummy.

"Um, yeah. Well, keep an eye out anyway? Kate, right or wrong, can always just change her mind. I don't think I can stop her either. On the other hand, that may end up being a good thing. Or could, if she can be taught to be a good person."

There was a face then, the pretty visage of her buddy twisting as she tried to work it all out.

"Um, what? I don't see your meaning."

"Think about it. If
I
go off the rails, and try to destroy the world, she can stop me. She can't rift, thank god, or kill at a distance, but
I
can. I figured it out in this last bit of training, even though it wasn't the full protocols yet. If I lose it, it might be that she'll have to protect the planet." Not that she was planning on it, but Gwen was far from perfect. Pretending she might not mess up could cost a lot of people now.

They both just sat for a few minutes, in silence. Heather didn't tell her she was
wrong
, since the idea that Gwen was walking around able to take out the world would have been considered back at Central. That they didn't have a full time contingent of guards on her...

Well, she could see that one. It was probably why there was a plot involved now. If a certain person were able to destroy whole lands with a few thoughts,
and
could teletransport, as well as fly, letting her feel trapped wouldn't help anything. She would just leave. Putting her in a cell wasn't a real option anymore, either. Killing her
might
be, but what she was doing was part of a plan, which while risky, was also potentially a good thing for a lot of people.

So here she was, basically unstoppable, except by Kat Vernor.

'I
do
like being called Kat better than Kate. If I get a choice. Just so you know that, Gwenie.'