Friends With Way Too Many Benefits (7 page)

"Holy shit… shit…"

He closed his eyes, took a moment to summon the courage, then pulled his boxers out as he bent his penis toward his body. The puffy blistered skin gave way, leaving him free, but in unbelievable pain. He pushed his boxers down to his knees and struggled to focus on his manhood as his eyes watered.

After wiping his tears, he bent over to assess the damage. The head of his most private and sensitive of areas featured a bulging blister about three quarters of an inch around.

"What the fuck," he growled.

Sitting down carefully onto the toilet, he looked up to the ceiling and sighed before returning his eyes to the problem. He took a finger and slowly inched it toward the wound, cringing. When he was mere millimeters from touching it he paused a second to summon the courage.

Tentatively he moved his finger forward until he was touching the unusual bubble. Pressing down on it slightly, his eyes widened as clear fluid leaked from a slit in the center. "Oh shit!"

Acute pain, shot through his entire body as he pulled his hand away from his groin and leaned back against the toilet tank. The agony intensified with every beat of his racing heart. It felt as if the blood vessels were throbbing in his dick to the point that they might explode, but not in a good way at all— not even close.

Returning his gaze to the blister, he shook his head before slowly rising back onto his feet. He looked around the tiny room for something to dress the wound until he spotted the toilet paper. After unrolling a few sheets, he wet them with cool water before carefully wrapping them around his injured appendage.

Gingerly, he pulled his boxers back up to his hips followed by his shorts and took a deep breath with his eyes closed.

Stepping onto the porch, Brian looked quickly around the neighborhood, found it clear and breathed a sigh of relief. He held the sides of his shorts as he gingerly extended his foot down to the first step. "Oh my God." Grimacing in intense pain, his eyes drifted closed as he held his breath. After standing still a moment to recover, he took the second step with his hands shaking and his eyes watering.

"Ahhh." He exhaled slowly and his gaze traveled up until he was looking right at his car, which was only fifty feet away, but might as well been a mile.

"Okay." He moved cautiously, waddling toward the car, with every step feeling like a knife turning in his manhood.

Suddenly a police car appeared in the street. It was officer Williams pulling into his driveway. Making eye contact with Brian, Williams gave him a smile and mouthed a few indecipherable words, pointing his way.

"Oh, no," Brian mumbled, doubling his efforts to reach the car.

Williams climbed out of his car and yelled, "Hey, Brian?"

"Hey there," Brian half-heartedly called back as he closed his eyes and fought back the agony from his facial expression.

Rushing over, Williams reached Brian as he was just opening the car door. "We've been meaning to ask you guys and the wife is going to kill me if I don't… so here I am."

Brian curled his lip and struggled to stand up straight. "What's that?"

"We want to have you guys over for dinner. How about this weekend?"

With his arm hanging over the open door, Brian closed his eyes and grimaced. "Sorry, what?"

"Dinner. We want to have you guys over…" Williams narrowed his eyes. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'm fine." Brian fought to hide his discomfort. "Dinner would be great, yeah, um—" Suddenly a sharp pain shot through an important area and Brian's face pruned up pointedly. "Ahhh…"

"What's wrong?"

Using the door to support his body, he groaned. "I sorta hurt myself."

"Where?"

"Um, well, you see… We're remodeling the bathroom and Jillian and I were in the other bathroom together and it's really cramped and I kinda… I mean, it was an accident, but she burned me with a curling iron."

"Really? Where?"

Taking a shallow breath, Brian tugged at his shorts and shrugged, motioning with his eyes down to the area in question.

"Seriously?" Williams leaned back, horrified. "I know you guys are into some wild sex stuff, but you've got to be more careful."

"What? No, no, we weren't—"

"Yeah, right?" The officer smirked.

"No, I'm serious it was an accident."

"Brian, it's me. I've seen you guys running around through the window doing some crazy stuff." He scoffed. "Not to mention that time I caught you dressed all in black with the big—"

"I remember!" Brian interrupted, raising his voice. "But this is different."

"Okay, okay, I believe you."

Brian made a face. "How would you even use a curling iron in a sexual way?"

"I don't know." Williams shrugged. "I'm not the sex freak, you tell me."

"I'm not…" Brian exhaled. "Look, dinner sounds great. I'll talk to Jillian and—" His lip curled up and he held his breath as he slumped over the open door.

Williams took his arm. "Where are you going?"

"The hospital," he mumbled, breathlessly.

"Let me call you an ambulance."

"No!" Brian's eyes widened with alarm. "I can make it."

"No, come on."

"I will not explain to a couple paramedics how I burned my penis. I'm trying to tell as few people as possible, understand?"

"Okay."

Brian opened the door wider and slowly slipped into the seat wearing a look of utter agony. "I'm… I'm fine."

Williams shook his head as Brian turned the key in the ignition and reached to pull the door closed. Suddenly a pain ripped through him and he gripped the steering wheel tightly and groaned. "Ahhhhh…"

"That's it. I'll drive you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, wait right here. I'll get my car."

Two minutes later, Brian leaned against the passenger side window of William's squad car moaning like a ninety year old man in a nursing home.

"Can you make it?"

"Why does this embarrassing shit always happen to me?"

"Man, does it hurt that bad?"

"It feels like someone is stabbing an ice pick into the head of my dick."

Cringing, Williams sat up straighter in his seat and punched the gas to speed through a yellow light. "Look, I'll go in with you and stay and make sure you—"

"No, just drop me off." The car hit a pot hole, bounced wildly and Brian's eyes shot wide open. "Ahhhh."

"Sorry." The officer cringed. "Why don't you want me going in with you?"

"I'm not walking in there with a uniformed cop. I'm trying to keep a low profile."

"Low profile?" Williams made a face.

"Yeah." Brian glanced over to him, took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his knees in an attempt to calm his nerves.

"Good luck with that."

"It doesn't hurt that bad anymore. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Where's Jillian? How will you get home?"

"She had an appointment and I'll just take a taxi." He winced pausing a moment to let a painful contraction subside then added, "I, I, really appreciate the ride, but I'll be fine."

Williams pulled up to the emergency drop off zone and rushed out of the car. Opening the door, he helped Brian to his feet. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." Brian put on a brave face and carefully stepped through the automatic doors. He turned back to Williams. "Please don't tell anyone about this?"

Williams shrugged. "Who am I going to tell?"

Sighing, the unlucky one headed toward the registration area. Spotting an attractive young woman sitting behind the desk, he rolled his eyes.
Shit, I couldn't get some old guy. It has to be a super model. Fuck me…

Glancing around the crowded waiting room, he shook his head. When he reached the counter, he said, "Hi, um, is there much of a wait?"

She put on a fake smile. "It depends how serious your problem is."

"It's serious."

She widened her eyes waiting.

"Oh, I need to tell you."

"That would help speed this along."

He took a deep breath. "Well, I burned myself."

"With?"

"A curling iron."

She shrugged. "Where?"

He looked around to be sure no one else was within ear shot then whispered, "My, uh…" A sharp pain shot through him and he leaned against the counter, closing his eyes.

"Your what?"

Motioning with his eyes downward, he pointed quickly twice in the same general direction with his index finger.

She narrowed her eyes, confused.

"My, um, you know…" He made a face.

"Oh…" She widened her eyes and held back a smile. "How'd you do that?"

"Well, my wife and I were in the bathroom and she was getting ready and… it was an accident."

"You're not bleeding or anything are you?"

"No."

"Do you think you can fill out some forms?"

"I think."

"Your name?"

"Brian Nash."

Placing a clipboard on the counter, she said, "Fill these out and we'll be with you as soon as we can."

"Thanks," he struggled to say.

He grabbed the clipboard and scanned the room looking for the nearest open chair. It took everything he had to make his way over and sit down. When he looked up he spotted the woman from reception pointing his way and whispering to another woman. Closing his eyes, he mumbled an obscenity.

Fifty minutes later, Brian was being pushed down the hall in a wheel chair by a nurse when Victoria Wilde spotted him out of the corner of her eye just before he disappeared into a room. "Is that… is that Brian?"

"What?" Jim was carrying one year old Kaylie in his arms.

"I think I just saw Brian."

Jim shrugged.

"Wait for me right here." Victoria took off toward the room and once she reached the door, she stopped and glanced around, thinking.

Suddenly a female doctor rushed toward her carrying a clipboard. Upon seeing Victoria, she smiled. "Victoria."

"Becky, hi."

"I haven't seen you since… what…"

"Ginger's bachelorette party." Victoria smiled.

"Really, has it been that long?"

"I think it has."

"Wow, that was a crazy night."

"It sure was."

"What are you doing here?"

"Kaylie had her one year check-up."

"How's she doing?"

"Just great. Everything's fine."

"Good." Becky smiled. "Well, I've got a patient."

"I know, um, I think I saw my friend go in there and could you tell me if that's Brian?"

Becky frowned. "You know I can't tell you that. There are laws and—"

"Oh come on. I'm not asking for his medical history, just tell me if that's Brian Nash in there."

"I can't."

Victoria sighed. "How about this… blink twice if that's him and it will just be our little secret."

Sighing, Becky glanced around the room before checking the chart. She looked Victoria in the eye and blinked twice.

"I knew it. I wonder what's wrong. He looked like he might be in a lot of pain."

"I've really got to go, so…"

"Just tell me if it's serious?"

"Look, no…" Something apparently caught Becky's interest on the chart and it was written all over her face. "Huh. That's, uh… wow!"

"What is it?" Victoria's eyes widened in alarm.

"Victoria." She shot her a tired look. "It was nice to see you again."

"Wait."

"Good bye." Becky grumbled before slipping through the door. Victoria moved quickly to the right to get a look inside but only got a glimpse of a pair of bare men's legs. Folding her arms, she sighed.

Brian sat on the examination table wearing nothing but a gown as the female doctor entered.

"Mr. Nash."

"Yes," he replied softly, grimacing.

"I'm Doctor Conners." Glancing at the chart, she sat down on a rolling chair. "So you have a burn injury."

"That's right."

She rolled over to him and pulled on a pair of latex gloves.

"A curling iron." He shrugged.

"Let's have a look. Could you please stand and drop your shorts and underwear."

After rising to his feet, he did as she asked. She took hold his penis and studied it closely with her eyes widened. "That's quite a blister you've got there."

"I know, it hurts like you wouldn’t believe."