From the Ashes (Force of Nature Book 1) (28 page)

“You're telling me that you're bonded to the craziest, most deadly vampire enforcer to ever exist?” He did nothing to try and hide his incredulity.

“Yes.”

“Then none of this makes sense because vampires...when they're bonded...they can't act how you're saying he acted.”

“Yeah, I've heard that before. Unfortunately for me, things didn't really play out how they were supposed to. Believe me, if I'd thought that getting beaten within an inch of my life was on the table, I'd have walked away from the offer he made me. But I didn't. So now I'm here, and now you know why. All my dirty laundry has been aired.”

“All of it?” he asked. His dubious expression let me know that my response wasn't fooling him.

“I couldn't possibly sit here and list off every scandalous thing I've done in my time, Knox, nor do I intend to try. You now know my past with the vampires. You already know that the warlocks despise me and want me dead. Beyond that, nothing else is really pertinent at the moment.”

In fairness, I didn't think it was. Laying out every poor decision I'd made regarding Kingston seemed pointless. He wanted me dead. The why was immaterial.

He cocked his head to the left, blocking the fading sun from my eyes.

“Truth again. You're on a roll today.”

“I figured now wasn't really the time to be cagey with information.”

“And I appreciate that.”

“So...you starting to rethink that plan of yours to stick with me?”

“Maybe a little,” he said, bumping me with his hip. Then the smile he'd put on his face to reassure me fell away fast. “Did you love him? Merc, I mean. Did you love him when you were bonded?”

My shoulders slumped as I considered his question. I was embarrassed to say that I did—or at least I thought I had. How stupid or blind did I have to be to miss what was headed my way only days after our bonding?

“Do you love him now?” he pressed, filling the silence I'd created.

“Yes. No. I don't really know how to answer that,” I replied, my voice quiet and shaky. “My life has been a mess of seclusion and survival, Knox. Maybe I loved him. Maybe I just wanted to love him. Or maybe worst of all, I just wanted him to love me. Whichever way you slice it, it hardly matters much now. Regardless of what feelings I do or don't have for him, I'm dead if he finds me. Those feelings are irrelevant. Love is irrelevant. I can't afford to sit around and ponder such things. That's a luxury I don't have.”

“If you still love him at all—even a little bit—that could be dangerous.”

“I'm well aware of how dangerous loving Merc proved to be, Knox,” I snapped.

“I didn't mean it like that. I'm saying that if you're not crystal clear on how you feel about him when he's standing before you—”

“Him wanting me dead has been super helpful in clarifying where I stand with him and where he stands with me.”

Even as I spoke those words, a small part of me buried deep inside cried out against them. I looked to Knox, who eyed me tightly for a moment, assessing what I'd said, and awaited the verdict. Truth or lie.

“Good,” he said plainly. “If he comes here, you can't falter when you see him. You can't interfere.”

“I've seen him in action, Knox,” I whispered, not wanting to anger the alpha. But he needed to know what he was up against. If Kingston posed a problem for the wolves, Merc would prove an even bigger one.

“So have I,” he countered, leaning in close to my ear to speak. “But he doesn't have magic on his side, Piper. Not like the warlocks do. With the vampires, it's all hand-to-hand combat. And that's what I do best.” He lingered by my face for a moment after he'd finished, his warm breath tickling my cheek.

“If the warlocks found me, that means that the enforcers will likely do the same, and soon,” I explained, my breath catching in my throat.

“Say what you want to say, Piper.” His voice was low and husky, and it made every hair on my body stand at attention in the most unexpected way. I tried to ignore the sensation and put together a coherent thought.

“You could avoid a war if you let me go...”

“Maybe I like war. Did you ever think of that? Maybe I like the thought of taking down anyone who has ever tried to hurt you. And maybe I really like the idea of you staying here with us indefinitely.”

“Oh.”

“Exactly.” He pulled away from me just enough so that I could read the conflicted expression on his face. But I couldn't make sense of it. “We should probably go in now. It's getting dark. The boys will be having a shift change soon. Best that you aren't present when they turn back and stagger through the yard naked as the day they were born.”

He took my hand in his and guided me back toward the house.

“Maybe I like naked,” I teased, giving his hand a little squeeze for emphasis.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

“I'll be sure to keep that in mind, Piper,” he said with a smile, then started walking again, laughing to himself as he led me up the porch stairs. The second shift of scouts came out of the lodge just as we reached the door, Brunton and Jagger leading the group. “Be ready for anything at any time,” Knox warned them, his tone serious.

“We will,” Jagger agreed with a nod.

My heart seized a bit as I watched them make their way toward the tree line, the ten of them fanning out like spokes on a bicycle. They each had their section of perimeter to guard, and I had no doubt that they would. Knox ran a tight ship, but it was plain to see the loyalty his wolves had for him. They trusted him completely.

I said a little prayer for them under my breath, asking the Earth, or whatever source I was connected to, to keep them safe. Then I pulled my hand from Knox and bent down to touch the ground.

“Take care of them,” I whispered, running my hand along the blades of grass. A gentle breeze blew my hair into my face, encircling me before it drifted away to die off.

“No powers, my ass,” Knox grumbled from behind me.

“I'm just testing out your theory,” I said with a shrug. “At any rate, it can't hurt to try. We need all the help we can get.”

“I wish that weren't true,” he replied tightly, heading up the steps to the house.

I opened my mouth to offer some meaningless placation, but thought better of it and snapped my lips back together. He always knew when I was lying. Why bother trying?

Once inside, we were soon joined by the returning wolves from the first watch. We ate, watched TV, and did everything we possibly could to act as though we weren't waiting for trouble to find us. Nobody spoke of the attack in Anchorage. Nobody mentioned the warlocks. Everyone, without exception, acted as though nothing had ever happened—that they hadn't buried two of their own earlier that day. I couldn't figure out if they were doing so for my benefit or their own.

Maybe they did it for both.

Knox and Foust sat beside me on the couch, both totally engrossed in the romantic comedy playing on the massive flat screen.

“You guys have the most unusual taste in movies,” I said, grabbing a handful of chips from the bag on Foust's lap.

“SHHH! This is the best part,” he growled in an effort to shut me up. Unfortunately for him, it had the opposite effect. I don't know if his reaction had really been that funny, but I started giggling at first. Then it grew to a chuckle. Then a full-blown, body-shaking, uncontrollable laugh. One that garnered me the stank eye from Foust.

“I'm sorry,” I said, barely able to spit out the words coherently.

Maybe it was the stress of everything finally getting to me. Maybe I was long overdue for a good laugh. But whatever the reason, I literally could not stop.

“Jesus, Piper,” Foust groused, pausing the movie to wait out my outburst.

“I'm stopping...I'm stopping,” I protested between breaths as I tried to regain my composure. Once I thought I finally had myself under control, I turned to find Foust frowning at me. That was all it took.

My hysterics kicked in yet again.

“I'll go,” I squeaked, nearly out of air from laughing so hard. I got up from the couch, clutching my stomach, and made my way toward the guest room. I really did need to get my shit together. I looked like a total nutcase.

Once I escaped the room, I tried my best to control my breathing as I walked toward my room at the end of the hall. By the time I reached it, the laughter had died off, leaving me with a cramped stomach, watery eyes, and cheeks that hurt from smiling so hard. I lay down on the bed, stretching out on my back to try and get my abs to calm down. With arms outstretched above my head, I continued to take deep breaths, holding them until I couldn't any longer, then letting them out in one aggressive exhale.

“Are you getting ready to have a baby?” Knox asked, a curious expression on his face. In fairness, I probably looked ridiculous. I instinctively brought my arms down and pulled the raised hem of my shirt down to cover my scars. He frowned instantly. “I wish you wouldn't do that. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Old habits,” I said with a shrug. It was the best I could offer him in explanation. “Anyway, can I do something for you?”

His eyes glowed amber for the briefest moment then faded back to green.

“I was just checking in on you,” he explained, still hovering in the doorway. “You've been through a lot, Piper. You've been on the run...alone...and then with everything that happened this morning, I just—”

“I'm fine, Knox. Really. I am.”

“I know, Piper. I just think that outburst of yours held an edge of instability to it. We all react to things differently—handle stress in our own way. I wanted to make sure that you weren't silently suffering. That's all.”

“I'm not. I promise.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Half truth...”

“Jesus, Knox. Enough with the lie detector shit. Please. It gets old sometimes,” I groaned, flopping back on the bed to cover my face with a pillow.

“You can't get mad at me for caring,” he argued.

“Try me.”

“Piper—”

“Knox, I'm not melting down, okay? I'm tired. And yes, a lot has happened to me, but I've dealt with most of it and I'm processing the rest. That's the best I can do,” I told him. The muffled sound of my voice was annoying so I pulled the pillow away from my face. I found Knox looming over me. “What? Did I fail the polygraph again?”

“No. You didn't.”

“Sweet. Then is the interrogation over?”

“For now,” he replied tightly. There was doubt in his eyes. Something deep inside him was unsettled by what I'd said, and regardless of what his instinctual lie detector told him, he didn't seem to quite believe me.

“I'm going to go to bed for the night,” I said, scooting across the bed to stand up on the other side. “I'll see you in the morning.”

“I'm going to have guards surrounding the lodge tonight,” he informed me as he walked toward the bedroom door. “Just to be safe. You'll find a familiar face camping out below your window, so don't be surprised if you look outside.”

With that, he left me alone, closing the door behind him. I couldn't quite figure out what was eating at Knox, but there were too many possibilities to really narrow down the list. He had a lot on his plate thanks to me.

I changed out of my clothes, throwing on some sweatpants and a tank top that one of the boys had brought over for me on Knox's orders. After a quick bathroom stop to brush my teeth and pee, I made my way back to my room. As I walked past the large mirror above the dresser, I stopped and looked at myself. To me, I was plain—nothing special. Perhaps I'd bought into the opinions of others for too long. My whole life I'd been told I was nothing, at least until I’d met Jase and Dean. Could it have all been a lie?

Lifting up the hem of my shirt, I exposed my scars in the scant light of the room. The mottled, mangled skin greeted me, but somehow it looked different. I used to cringe at the sight, but now I willingly explored the way the skin pinched and puckered, tracing the various lines that swirled along my abdomen with my finger. Maybe Merc had been right that night. Maybe my scars were my story. A road map of my life.

And that road had led me to Knox and his pack.

I was wrong to snap at him, and the guilt I felt about it grew as I lay in my bed, waiting for sleep to find me. But it never did. Instead, I tossed and turned, until I finally threw back the covers and walked over to the window. The bright light of the full moon was there to greet me. I stared, marveling at it. And as I did, I saw the similarities between its texture and that of my scars. There truly was beauty to be found in imperfection.

With that realization in mind, I soon found myself standing outside Knox's bedroom.

19

Staring at the thick, unfinished wood of his door, I wondered why exactly I was there. I owed him an apology, that much was clear, but why I felt the need to give it at that hour of the morning escaped me, making me question if there was another reason I'd gone to him. Was it comfort I sought? Forgiveness? Without knowing the answer, I knocked lightly, knowing that I would soon find out.

When it came to Knox, the truth always had a way of coming to light.