From The Ashes (The Knights of Mayhem Book 3) (12 page)

I push up into her again, seating myself balls deep, feeling a shudder roll through my body. 
Shit
.  The feel of being in her again is like being a kid at Disney World for the first time.  I could die a happy man right now. 

I start a slow move, in and out. She throws her legs up around my hips and my arms snake around her waist.  Her feet against my ass hold me while she rides me from the bottom. 

“Oh, oh, oh god, Roman.”  I move with her, hoping to make her come.  Her heels dig into my ass for dear life as she’s in the home stretch, so I begin to rub my hips back and forth, creating that last amount of friction she needs to explode.  I feel it the moment she does.  Her legs and arms fly out as she convulses around me.  Her hands grasp my hair as she begins to ride me from the bottom again.. 

I begin to lay a hard foundation for my release.  Every time I pound into her, she moves up the bed. I find myself chasing glory ‘til we reach the headboard.  “Brace your hands.” 

“What?” her voice is barely above a whisper.

I grab her hands and raise them over her head, palms flat against the headboard.  “Brace yourself.”   I look down into her glassy brown eyes and her rosy sated cheeks.

When I take my hands away from hers, I grab her hips to position her just right.  I begin the rhythm by driving into her and with every stroke, I feel my resolve that Cowboy told me to have, fall away.  Being here, fucking her, us together is what I needed—what I’ve searched for. 

I feel my sack tighten.  “Hollis.”  I feel the aggression bleed through and my animal instincts take over.  I pound into her, making her scream with each thrust, driving me by her sound.  “Mine.” 
Thrust
.  “Mine.” 
Thrust
.  “Mine.”  The headboard knocks against the raw wooden wall of the bedroom.  I do this until I explode.  I snake my hands under her shoulders, pulling her down onto me as I empty myself inside of her. 

I lay my body down on hers, settling in where I belong.  The feel of her against me from chest to toe is intoxicating. I lay my forehead on hers, pressing my eyes closed, trying to get my erratic breathing under control.

“Say something, please,”  she pants.

“Why?” I run my nose up the sensitive skin of her neck, taking in the smell of us mixed together on her skin.

“I just need to hear your voice.”  There’s a haunted, pleading sound in her tone.

“I’m just going to say stay with me, but please, I’m going to ask you one more time … don’t lie to me.”

“I won’t, Roman, I promise.”

I lean down and take her sweet lips with mine.  “Get some rest. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”

“I won’t be able to sleep because I don’t want to lose this.”  Her hand glides down my back.

“I’m not going anywhere.”  I try my best to reassure her, but honestly, I don’t know where the events of the next day will take us.  I roll off her to my side, leaving her on her back.

“You will tomorrow.”  She falls silent and I wait to hear her explanation.  “You’ll be back in your world with friends and family who don’t want me in it.”

“And how is that?”  I lean my head so I can look at her face.  We’ve been in a little bubble consisting only of us for the past two days.  I’m not sure that I’m going to be able to balance the love I have for my family and the love that’s starting to resurface for Hollis.

“You know what I’m talking about.  It’ll break my heart, but there’s no other way.”  She rolls so we’re lying side by side.  “You’re loyal to them. The gun to my head is proof of that.”

“And me not pulling the trigger doesn’t mean anything?”  I use my index finger to brush a curl from her forehead.

“It means you’re a good man, capable of having rational thoughts.”  She closes her eyes and sighs heavily.  “You don’t love me. You may not even like me very much.” 

I pinch her cheeks, mussing up her mouth.  “Open your eyes and look at me, Hollis.  Don’t tell me how I feel … you have no idea.”  I lean back over and kiss her one more time.  “Get some sleep. I want you looking like a million dollars tomorrow.”

I roll to my back, pulling her onto my chest.  “Everything will be all right, darlin’, I promise.”  I let my eyes ease shut, trying to tamp down all the little voices, running through every scenario of how the next day will play out.

Chapter Eleven

Hollis

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to push back the sun that’s flooding the room from the window to my left.  I don’t want it to be here. I could’ve lived in the night for the rest of my life. 

I lay in comfort, only because the warmth at my side is still here.  Roman is in a deep sleep—his loud snoring alerts me to this.  He sleeps as if he’s not worried at all about the outcome of the day.  I guess there’s no reason for him to be, it’s my ass in the sling.  I’m the one who has to pay for my sins, and I’m sure Piper will be the first in line, collecting her pound of flesh.

I snuggle down deeper into him, our naked bodies coiled around each other perfectly—his hard edges to my soft curves.  We fit like a puzzle.  I’m afraid this isn’t real, that I’m still on some sort of drug trip I used to be a frequent flyer of.  It never failed when I was high, my mind would always drift back to where I am right now, and how I had threw it away with both hands.

Then I let them drift open to the bright orange sun and the new day, feeling a bit of a renewal of hope.  I extract myself from under his heavy arm the best I can without waking him and head to the shower.  The feel of the hottest water I can stand flowing over me should be illegal. 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”  A naked Roman says as he steps in the shower, filling the space behind me.  Pulling me into him, I can feel his morning wood against my ass.  “This is my favorite time of day to fuck you.”  A shiver runs down my body, even under the hot spray of water at his words.

~~~~~~

I take one last long look at the cabin before I climb into the passenger side of Roman’s truck.  “Ready?” he asks.

“No, not really, but we don’t have a choice, do we?”  I feel the dread wash over me.  The lightness I’d been enjoying is slowly slipping away.  I don’t know how I’m going to fix this mess I’ve made.  It’s not Roman’s responsibility to fix everything for me and I’m not going to let him. He might think it’s all on him, but it’s not. 

We ride back in silence and for the first time in my life, I don’t have the need to fill the stale air in the cab of the truck with idle chatter.  In some ways it’s the calm before the storm and I have a sinking feeling it’s the last ounce of peace I’ll have in my life for a while.

Roman seems strangely at ease.  His face isn’t pinched and his shoulders aren’t rigid.  I wish I could say the same about my own body.  My neck aches from the tension, holding my body captive.  And with each mile we travel, it gets worse.  The nausea hits as we pass the signs of the small town.  I hold my hand to my lips, trying to stave off the tide of saliva flooding my mouth.

“Pull over, I’m gonna be sick,”  I shout at him.  He whips the truck to the side of the road, barely giving me time to throw open the door before what little breakfast I had reemerges from my stomach onto the grass beside the road. 

“Hollis, are you okay?”  Roman asks as he comes around the front of the truck.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.  “I am now, I think.”   He pulls my hair back, just in case I need to puke again.  “No need for that, I’m done.”

He smooths his hand down the length of my hair.  “It’s all gonna be okay, Hollis, I promise.  Just calm down and stop overthinking everything.  We’ll get through this.”  He bends to look me in the eyes.  “Okay?”

“Yeah, sure.  You can say that because they like you.”  I turn, climbing back into the seat. He closes the door behind me.  I take a deep cleansing breath, watching him round the truck back to his side. 

“I’m gonna drop you at the house and go test the waters at the clubhouse.  It’s our Sunday cookout, so I need to go alone today.”

“Sounds good. No need to rub me in their faces first thing, right?”  I feel a little crushed, but I know it’s for the best.  The Sunday cookout is a family ritual and everyone, even Imma and Hugh, show up.  I’m guessing this one will be a big deal with Caden being back and all, so there’s no need to rile them all up by going and acting like nothing ever happened.  Nevertheless, I swallow the hurt feelings at his decision, biting my tongue and looking away from him so he can’t see it plastered on my face.

He pulls up outside his garage, cutting the engine.  “You’ll be fine here for a while. I won’t be long.”   He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly.   “I’ll get the bags.”  He opens his door and I do the same, but go for the front door.  I wait on him there as he unlocks it to let me in.  Once we’re inside, he drops the bags and fishes out his wallet, handing me his credit card.  “The computer’s upstairs, first room on you left, but you know that already.  Buy yourself some decent clothes and burn the ones you have.” 

“No, Roman. I’m not going to let you do that.”

“You’re not letting me do anything, I’m making you.”  He shoves the card at me.  “But be sensible, please?”

I reluctantly take the card, shoving it in my back pocket.  We stand there, not sure of what to do next.  “I think I’ll take a nap while you’re gone too.”  It’s amazing how being so stressed out can wear you down so quickly.

“Sounds good.”  He leans in to kiss me.  “Be back in a little while.  I’ll bring you some food back.”  He smiles at me but it’s not the smile he had yesterday or this morning—it’s a weaker version.  My doubt has infected him. 

He takes his bike keys and gives me one last look before closing the door behind him.  I turn on my heels, looking at his home.  The only sound is the annoying tick of the clock over the sink in the kitchen.  I huff and head for my room, resisting the urge to go and bust the damn thing.

Roman

The ride to the clubhouse is nowhere near long enough.   I’m pulling off my helmet before I even have time to think of what I’m going to say.  The parking lot is loaded with cars, signaling a full house. 

I pull open the door, successfully silencing the room.  At the sight of me, Piper gives me an eat shit look before she turns on her heel and heads in the direction of the kitchen.  To say the air is tense is an understatement.  I push forward to the bar where all the boys are gathered.

I’ve never felt this uncomfortable around my family.  “How was your little tryst?”  Eno sneers at me.

“Shut it, Eno.”  Leo growls from his bar stool.  “Anyone follow you in?”

“No.”  I take the beer the Eno slams down on the bar for me.  “Thanks, man.”

Avery comes up beside me and reaches to give me a kiss on the cheek.  “Hey, honey.” 

I kiss her back.  “Hey, babe.”  Her small hand is rubbing circles on my back, trying to comfort me. She has no idea how much that small thing means to me right now. She’s going to make a wonderful mom, always looking out for everyone but herself.  She winks at me then mouths, “It’s all good.” 

Caden bursts through the door, followed by Cowboy and Emily.  She makes a bee line for Imma and Hugh who are sitting on the couch, slinging herself into their waiting arms.  

The uncomfortable silence is killing me.  “Okay, listen everybody.”  They all turn their venomous eyes to me.   “I know you’re not all pleased with her or me right now,  I know Cowboy has filled you in on the details.  Obviously, you don’t believe her but I do. She’s changed, so since you won’t believe her, believe me, someone you’ve all known all your lives.” 

The door to the kitchen slings open and a seething Piper comes out.  “I can’t fucking believe you,” she shrieks.  “You’re asking us to believe a lying, thieving junkie?”

“No, I’m asking you to believe me.  She took the alarm codes and delivered the envelope with the pictures in it.  Hell, she didn’t know what was even in the envelope, and that was her only involvement. She knew nothing about what they were going to do beyond rummaging through Cowboy and Emily’s house.”

“Believe you and your story about how she’s changed?”  No one else says anything. They just sit and watch our little family drama play out.  “And your second hand story about how she’s innocent in all this?”

“I didn’t say she was innocent, I’m saying she didn’t play as big of a role in the whole thing as we thought.”

“Jesus Christ, Roman. She’s the reason Emily lost the baby and can’t have kids.”

She closes the distance between us.  “And don’t forget, brother, that she’s the reason our parents are dead.”

“She’s not the fucking reason our parents are dead and you know it,” I yell in her face.

Leo stands, holding his hands up.  “Wait a minute, what the hell is she talking about, Roman?”

Piper bites her lip, knowing she’s gone too far by bringing that up.  I take a deep breath and look around the room.  It was the one thing my brothers didn’t know about me and Piper. I had fought with everything in my being to keep it out of the rumor mills; wanting to keep the memory of my mother and father untarnished. 

“Roman?”  Leo asks again.

“The night of our parents’ accident, it wasn’t black ice that caused it.  They were fighting and mom grabbed the wheel, jerking the car into oncoming traffic.”  

“Why would she do that?”  Dalton comes up beside a now sobbing Piper, encircling her with his arms.

“Tell them,”  Piper sniffs, gathering herself.

I take a few deep breaths, horrified at the story I’m about to tell of the Mayor and his county club wife.  Two pillars of the community, they’d been known for their extensive charitable work and generosity, working hard for their squeaky clean images. 

“They’d been out to dinner at Lloyd’s that night and Mother noticed something between Dad and one of the waitresses.  To save a public altercation, Mother waited ‘til they were in the car and confronted him.  Dad, not being one to back down from a fight, told her the whole story.” 

“And what kind of story was it?”  Eno’s lost his animosity towards me for the moment, enthralled in my story like everyone else in the room.

“He had an affair with the waitress, Hollis’ mother.”  The gasps around the room let me know I had covered my father’s tracks well.   “Neeta left a note on the table for him when Mother had excused herself for the restroom, on a napkin that my mother used.” 

“But that still doesn’t explain why Roma would jerk the steering wheel, son.”  Hugh’s removed himself from a weeping Imma to come and stand with the rest of us.  My mother and Imma were best friends, and Hugh played cards with my dad. 

“She told me she couldn’t live with the fact of how people would’ve looked at her in town if it got out.”

“She told you that … when?”  Leo’s confused face is a carbon copy of everyone else’s.

“Right before she died.  She pleaded with me to fix it and so I did.  She died before the cops could question her, so I came up with the story and filed the report.”  I walk around the bar, leaving them all in stunned silence.  “So you see, Piper, Hollis had nothing to do with what happened to our parents.”  I twist off the lid to another beer and kill it.

“She would’ve rather died than have the town know Clark fucked around on her?”  Leo’s still trying to understand the story.

“Yes, and having to see Neeta around town too.  But it wasn’t long after that Neeta killed herself, leaving us all orphans.  Hollis was all alone. She didn’t have an older brother to take care of her.”  I level my eyes at Piper.  “So cut her some slack. She’s lived with it, just as we’ve had to, Piper, she just had it a lot rougher than we did.”

“Wow.”  Avery lowers herself onto a stool with Eno’s help.

Hugh shakes his head in disbelief, collecting Imma from the couch. “I believe we’ll sit this one out, boys.”  He kisses Caden, then Emily as he helps Imma out to their car.  I feel little bit of regret, forgetting that Imma was here.

I stand behind the bar, looking out at all the occupants of the clubhouse.  “And there are worse things than Hollis not knowing what she was helping to orchestrate, like covering up the fact your mother killed your father and herself in the process.” 

“Does Hollis know this?  That her mother killed herself out of grief?”  Avery, as always, is concerned about everyone else.

“Yes, she does. I told her, thinking it might help in her grieving process, but it didn’t. In fact, it had the opposite effect.  Hollis couldn’t believe her mother would kill herself for the love of a man … that her mother had chosen a man over her.”  I pull from my beer again, rolling the liquid around in mouth, waiting for the wrath of Leo.  The shocked silence lasts longer than I thought it would.

Leo looks around at all the stunned faces.  “It stays here.”  He points to the ground.  “Not a word is ever spoken of it again, is everybody clear?”  They all nod.  “No need for Roman to be getting in a heap of shit for filing a false report.  And no need to drag out twenty-year-old news on good people.  Are we clear?”

They grumble their acceptance of his demands.  “And from here on out, as much as I know this is going to hurt you, Emily …”  He turns to where Cowboy and Emily are, standing by the door.  “Emily?  Where’d she go?”  Cowboy turns to the empty space behind him that had held his wife not five minutes ago.

“I don’t know.”  He takes out his phone.  “Hey, baby, where are you?”  He nods his head, listening to whatever it is she’s saying, then disconnects the call with a smile on his face.  “She’s going to talk to Hollis.”

Hollis

I furiously clean the jet tub in Roman’s bathroom. When he had left, I couldn’t resist trying it, but I’d started to read a book I’d found in my room and lost track of time.