Frost Kisses (Bitter Frost #4: Frost Series) (5 page)

Chapter 5

I
could feel my heart pounding, and in my blood I knew that what Delano had said was true. Whatever was in me, changing me, it had come from Kian; his Winter blood had entered my body, my soul, and transformed my magic, making it meld and shape into his. The magic I had felt within myself when Delano kissed me – the same magic that had made me immortal – was different from anything I had known before. This was not the warm magic of Summer, with its scent of orange blossoms and the gold liquid feeling inside me. This was icy cold and strong, primal – this was the very essence of Kian’s being inside of me.
This
was how much he had loved me – loved me enough to give this part of himself to me, to make me immortal through the gift of the Winter snowflake pendant. I could have been his! My heart cried out through the pain and confusion. If I had only said yes, I could have been his Queen – the Winter Queen. The magic couldn’t lie. I belonged to Kian, as utterly and totally as he belonged to me – his magic giving me new life, new strength. I knew now that whatever had happened at the melee at the Summer Court, Kian could not have truly betrayed me. He still loved me. I felt it in the effect of his magic. I felt it in the pounding of my heart. He loved me.

“Kian!” I heard myself whisper, and my love for him was born anew. We would have much to work through – the cloud of my love spell that had overtaken my heart and my brain, and thrust everything into confusion – but we could do it. We had to do it. We would be able to do it, together. We could restore peace once more, hope once again, make everything as it once was: Winter and Summer, together. My body shook with the surety of this vision.

Before Delano could stop me I leaped to my feet and began rushing across the room, thrusting his arm off me as he attempted to bar my path.

“My Queen!” he shouted. “You will remain!” He stepped over to the door. “Or risk facing an army of Pixies alone… Summer Queen.”

I gritted my teeth. I wasn’t interested in fighting pixie hordes, and as long as I could get out eventually, it was probably a better bet to keep calm and carry on. “Fine,” I said.

Delano led me into another room. Delano’s bedchambers. This was far less sparse and cold than the room in which I had been laid out. Here was an opulent space, a bedroom made warm by the blazing fire roaring at the heart, a warmth that comforted my aching joints. I could smell the sizzling food and just-baked bread that stood tantalizingly on the table.

“In the wardrobe,” said Delano, opening it wide, “you see a vast selection of pixie-made fashions.” And so there were – glittering gowns, gold, silver and green, in all manners of silks and satins and lace. I could not deny their beauty, but I refused to be tempted. I looked down.

“Since you left,” Delano whispered close to my ear. “I have thought of nothing but you. I have attempted to make our pixie ways more to your liking. We are a cold people, who like the bare stone and the flaming roast, the snow and empty, barren mountain ranges. But I know you like the warmth and beauty of summer, and this I have supplied to you.”

“How sweet.” I made it clear I wasn’t having any of it. “Do you think I like being taken prisoner?”

“Not a prisoner, but as my betrothed, as you have bargained for, my dear,” Delano winked.

“My heart belongs to another, Delano.”

“For now,” he shrugged.

“For always!” I raised my voice.

“And what about your engagement to the Wolf?” Delano said with a smile. “What was that, eh? Always-love – just a bit confused, a bit muddled up?”

I remembered my queenly manners just in time to avoid slapping him. “There was a spell…” I muttered through clenched teeth.

“Of course there was!” Delano laughed. “There’s
always
a spell. When you’re looking for a convenient excuse to give in to desire…”

That was enough! I raised my hand to slap Delano clear across the face, but he grabbed hold of my wrists, forcing me down onto the bed. Panic spiked through me. What was Delano about to try? I gathered up all my fairy magic, closing my eyes, concentrating, ready to fight, adrenaline leaving me breathless as I prepared for a final battle for my honor.

But nothing happened. I opened my eyes tentatively to find that Delano had left the room. I didn’t know what he was up to, but I didn’t like it. I had to get out of there – quickly – before Delano tried whatever pixie lust spell he’d used on me again. I made a mental note to teach myself how to protect my heart against love spells. In a kingdom where love was outlawed, such techniques could be very dangerous indeed. I concentrated all my energy on establishing a telepathic connection with someone, anyone – Kian, Logan! But it was Kian who called to me, Kian for whom my love was strong enough, had to be strong enough…

I focused on a mental image of his face: beautiful, strong, stormy blue eyes that were almost grey with those sharp cheekbones and that impossibly high jaw, his black hair long and loose across his face.

But there was nothing. No response. No return. Had he forgotten me? My heart doubled over with fear. Had he really stabbed me – and closed his heart to me forever? No, it couldn’t be! I felt my immortality, my Winter immortality, within me. It was the symbol of his love.

Well, I’d have to make my own way out. I sighed. But if I was going to make it out of the pixie castle alive, I’d have to get some strength. I stared at the plate of food and realized how hungry I was. Before stopping to wonder if the food was poisoned, I gobbled it down, deciding mid-bite that Delano was too interested in me to have me killed, wolfing down a loaf of bread and fruits.

My strength restored, I set about to look in the closet for something more practical to wear. I’d never be able to fight in this golden train. Nothing as practical as the knight’s uniform I’d worn to rescue Kian appeared, but I did spy some male Pixies’ clothes: one of Delano’s, no doubt. I made a face, but it was better than the alternative. As I hurriedly began changing into male gear a sudden sound stopped me, a voice in my ear that filled my soul with desire and relief.

Breena!

At first I thought he was contacting me, speaking directly, but then a vision appeared before my eyes. Kian was kneeling, knee-deep in silver blood on the battlefield, his boots caked with old mud, the body of a summer knight splayed out at his feet. I recognized the red hair and my heart stopped. Rodney? Shasta’s lover? No, it couldn’t be! I looked closer – it wasn’t Rodney – but my heart remained pained. Some Summer Knight, one of my men, had died at Kian’s hand.

Kian!
I called out.

Breena
! But he didn’t hear me, didn’t see me. His cries were directed to the great, cloud-covered sky, cries of pain and despair. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. He closed the lids of the eyes of the fallen body, his own frame racked with pain. “I never wanted this, my friend. I never wanted this!” No, Kian had always dreamed of peace – a peace that he and I would share. “I’m sorry you had to die. I knew you. You were a good soldier.” He began to sing, softly – a song he had sung for me in the old days, when Kian was first teaching me about Feyland at his cabin where he had taught me how to fight, and where we had first kiss – the icy Snow Prince and the mortal girl. It was a song in the ancient tongue, to be sung for a fallen warrior. Its beauty made me double over in pain.

Kian finished his song, and then cast his eyes down to the corpse. “I have sung for you,” he said, his voice cracking with pain. “But who will sing for me? The woman I love…she is where you are now. If you meet her on the road to Heaven, tell her that I love her. Tell her that I’m waiting for her, and that I want nothing more than to cross that gorge across which I have sent you, and to see her shade for myself! If she will forgive me for having failed her – having failed our peace!”

The pain was too great to bear! Tears began welling in my eyes, and my gasp caught in my throat. Delano was wrong – he had been wrong! My love for Kian was as strong as ever, and his for me!

Kian!
I called out in desperation, one final time.
I’m here!

At last he looked up, his eyes flitting around to the emptiness.
Where are you
?

Here. With you.

This is not real!
Kian rounded about the empty air.
My mind is playing tricks on me again, trying to deceive me, to drive me mad! Where are you?

It’s me!

His face contorted with pain.
The dead do not speak with the living.

I’m not dead!
I cried, and the look of joy on his face filled me with ecstasy.
I’ve been captured by Delano – I’m alive! Your snowflake saved me…even after what happened. Even after you stabbed me! It was a mistake, all a mistake! I never betrayed you…Wort organized the siege…

I know it now!
Kian cried to the heavens.
I know it in my heart – but I always knew it. I never doubted you.

But in the Great Hall! At the siege! I tried to explain, to help you…

I was never there!
Kian’s voice thundered in my ears.
I had left. Breena, after you refused me – refused to accept my proposal…
His voice broke off in pain.
I was beyond distraught. My mind was on fire. I could not remain a moment longer in that castle. I had to get some air, to breathe. The very walls of the corridor felt as if they were tightening around me, waiting to choke me, to bury me alive within their depths. My heart was beating so hard that it shook my very chest. Had I remained a moment longer, I would have given into my primal desire: I would have challenged your wolf Logan to a duel, and killed him. I knew I could not let myself succumb to this rage I felt, a rage that I could not control. And so I left. I ran into the forest and cried out my pain to the trees of pine and fir. I told myself that you loved Logan after all, that you had made your choice. But I could not allow myself to believe it. For when I kissed you last, my kiss broke the spell that was on you – so powerful, so overwhelming, was our passion for each other. I knew then you loved me…but it was too late. I heard of your death – a death supposedly by my hand…

Kian paused, and I can see his entire body shake.
I would die before I hurt you, Breena. You know that. My love for you is absolute. You’re the only woman I love…have ever loved, Breena. And I certainly would not and did not stab you
.

Kian’s eyes grew wide with alarm.
Where can I find you, my love? I need to see you. I need to see you with my own eyes in order to believe, lest I succumb to this pain, this fear that this is but another vision, another method of torment that my mind had conjured up…
He grasped the air with his hands, as if making to hold me instead. My body longed to run into those waiting arms, to wrap my arms tightly around his broad shoulders and give myself over to the love I felt.
Please don’t be a dream, Breena. Please don’t be another one of those haunted visions that have kept me screaming and awake for so many nights. Please don’t be a phantasm, a shade – please be real…
Tears had appeared in his eyes, making them even more iridescent as they shone and sparkled at the corners of his gaze.

I am real!
I wanted to take him in my hands, to touch his face, to touch his silky hair, to let him feel me, to convince him.
I’m real – I’m alive.
My heart broke for his suffering; I wanted to bear it myself, to take it away from him, to spare him the agony that I could feel even from so many miles away.
I knew it wasn’t you who stabbed me – knew it couldn’t have been – any more than I could have loved another! We’ve both been fooled and enchanted.