Fulfillment (Book 3 in The Temptation Series) (26 page)

“You are not
quitting. You are not a nuisance and you do not suc—” He cut
himself off. “Well you do suck, but in a very,
very
good way.”

I rolled my
eyes at him.

“So, tell me
what’s going on in that head of yours or I will either call
Jessica, or spank it out of you.” He leaned forward and kissed my
neck.
Oh, God that feels good. How long has it been since we’ve
made love? Fuck, I can’t remember.
“Well?” he said, waiting for
me to divulge.

I moaned a
little. “I’m a walking disaster,” I breathed out.

He dragged his
tongue down my neck and kissed my collar bone, my chest rising to
meet his lips.

“No, you’re a
limping miracle,” he said with a husky voice as he made his way
back up my neck to my ear lobe.

I clenched his
hands in mine and moaned again. “I’m hopeless.”

He released
one of my hands and placed it on the outside of his pants so that I
could feel his hard cock. “Clearly you are not, Hunny.”
Mmmm,
clearly you are a God, Bryce.

I had the
sudden urge to have his delicious erection in my mouth. I needed to
feel him, taste him. I needed to feel I was in control of at least
something. I knew I had nothing but control when my lips were
around his cock. I could control his orgasm, his relief, and the
feeling I now had at the thought of what I was about to do filled
me with a sense of value.

“I suck,” I
exclaimed, as I tried to lift my head from the pillow to meet
his.

He leaned
back, refusing my request for his mouth. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I do and
I want to suck right now.”

His eyes
changed within a second from endearing and heavy, to hot, hankering
and alive with expectation.

Dropping his
head to mine, he finally allowed my tongue to find his, kissing me
passionately.

“Are you sure,
my love? We can wait longer if you want.”

I pushed him
off so that he rolled onto his back, lying next to me.

“Yes, I’m
sure. I want you in my mouth. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Positioning
myself onto my side and making sure my ankle was comfortable, I
undid his pants and unleashed his hard cock into my hand. Just the
sight of it so gloriously close made me smile.

I cupped his
balls then dragged my hand from the base to the tip, licking my
finger and swirling it over his crown.

“Fuck!” he
groaned.

I gave him a
salacious grin before I wrapped my mouth around him, taking in as
much as I could and gently clamping my teeth down. I could feel his
soft warm skin beneath them, he felt and tasted so good; I couldn’t
get enough.

He placed his
hand on my head, gently clenching his fingers in my hair. “So good,
Hunny,” he slurred.

My smile at
his enjoyment and praise circled his shaft and I began to escalate
my movement over him, repeating the consumption of his length over
and over.

He moaned and
growled explicit words which made me feel hot and empowered,
helping me take charge even more and forcing the taste of his
enjoyment into my mouth. I dragged my tongue up and down, flicking
the spots I knew were sensitive to him. He bucked his hips and
pushed himself further into my mouth, and I accepted his offering
by sucking him deep.

“Fuck, I love
you,” he hissed as he reached his climax, jerking into me.

I lapped him
up and savoured the moment of being once again in control of a part
of my life that I enjoyed. A part he obviously enjoyed, too.

***

Shortly after
I literally blew Bryce’s mind—and after he also spanked my arse for
quitting—we had a visitor. The joy and sense of self I had felt
after sharing an intimate moment with Bryce had not lasted long, it
ending abruptly when Gareth entered the apartment.

“I just wanted
to personally come by and offer my condolences to you both. I heard
about the fall and subsequent miscarriage and broken foot. I’m
terribly sorry. I also wanted to apologise for skipping out on your
birthday party. I felt very ill quite suddenly and needed to lie
down.”

He had not
long entered the room and sat down on the couch opposite me, before
I felt my chest rise and fall dramatically, the heat in the room
also rising rather quickly.

Bryce had made
his way over to the bar to fetch us all a drink.

“I need
something strong,” I said as I locked eyes with Gareth, desperately
trying to calm myself.

“Do you want a
gin then?” Bryce asked.

I removed my
stare from Gareth, switching it toward Bryce while wiping my sweaty
hands on my pants. “Yes, gin is great,” I replied rather
quickly.

“So Alexis,
how are you feeling?” Gareth asked.

“Fucking
awful,” I honestly replied. “How do you expect to me feel?” My tone
was defensive and angry, I couldn’t help it.

Bryce sat down
next to me and handed me my drink, a worried and curious look on
his face. “Here.” He placed his arm around my neck and rested his
hand on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,
Alexis. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive.”

Gareth leaned
forward and placed his drink on the coffee table when I caught a
hint of his aftershave. It washed over my senses and triggered my
visions and flashbacks to return. I saw myself hopping along the
walkway like I’d seen in my head time and time again, only this
time I smelled Gareth’s aftershave as I took my first step. It was
a deep woody, earth-like aroma. I didn’t like it. In fact, I hated
it; it made me nauseated.

“Alexis!
Alexis, hey are you alright?” Bryce was lightly shaking my shoulder
with his hand in an attempt to get my attention.

I looked at
him, then to Gareth. My breathing spiked and I could feel my body
temperature rising. I turned back to Bryce and shook my head at
him.

The last thing
I remember is Bryce leaning forward to put his drink down and
saying, “Shit! Not again.”

***

This time when
I came round, I noticed that Bryce had swivelled me to a lying
position and propped my legs high on the edge of the sofa. The
second thing I noticed is that my blouse was drenched and smelled
of gin, and the third thing I noticed was Gareth standing next to
Bryce—rather close—and that Bryce was on the phone.

“Yes, Janette,
she’s coming round now, her eyes just opened.” He smiled warmly at
me. “No, I’ll call Jessica. You stay where you are and sort out
your incident. Thanks for your help. I’m thinking I will have to
give you a raise in salary very soon.” He chuckled back at her
response and then hung up the phone, dialling Jessica
instantly.

“Hi, Jessica.
Alexis has had another panic attack and again she passed out.” He
walked over to the sofa and knelt down beside me. “No. No, she’s
been fine other than that.” He picked up my hand and kissed the top
of it quickly. “Yes, please. I’d appreciate it. Thanks, I’ll see
you soon.”

I noticed
Gareth fidget from the corner of my eye.

“Jessica is on
her way, Hunny. How do you feel now?”

“Okay, I
guess. I’m a bit soggy, but I’m okay.”

“I’ll get you
another top.” He went to get up.

I grabbed his
arm. “No, don’t leave me,” I begged, while glancing at Gareth.

“Okay, I won’t
leav—”

Gareth butted
in. “I gotta go, got a lot of work to do. I’m glad you’re alright,
Alexis.” He nodded at Bryce then hastily left the room.

***

I had moved
out to the balcony to get some air when Jessica arrived. She
followed Bryce out and stood next to me at the balustrade. I had
rugged myself up in a thick coat and Jessica—thank goodness—had
done the same.

“So, what
happened?” she enquired.

“I’m not quite
sure,” I answered dishonestly while glancing quickly toward
Bryce.

Jessica
noticed my subtle eye movement and proceeded to remedy the
situation.

“Bryce, I
would like to speak to Alexis alone if you wouldn’t mind.”

He let out a
breath in a stoic manner. “Sure. I need to go and check the
progress of the Metropol renovations anyway.” He kissed my
forehead. “Call me when you’re done, okay?”

I nodded.

He turned and
walked inside.

“Thank fuck,”
I blurted out while looking around my vicinity, desperate for
something to poke into my cast. “Where are all the long pointy
things? I swear he has removed everything and anything that could
be used to scratch my leg, damn controlling arse that he is.”

I was just
about to hop over to the Yucca plant and tear of a leaf when
Jessica smirked at me and handed me her pen.

“Oh, you are
my saviour.” I gripped the railing, balancing myself and shoved it
directly into my cast. “I hate this thing. I hate it with a
passion. I hate all orthopaedic surgeons and I want to wage a war
against plaster and fibreglass.”

“That would be
an interesting war,” she murmured. “People have fought and died for
much less.” She continued, “So, would you like to tell me what
happened now that Bryce has gone?”

I nodded and
grabbed hold of my crutches. “Let’s go inside first, I think it’s
about to rain.”

We both made
our way inside and sat opposite each other on the lounge.

“Would you
like a drink?” I offered.

“No thank you,
dear.”

“Are you
comfortable?”

“Yes, I’m just
fine.”

“Can I get you
anything at all?” I offered again.

“Alexis? Are
you being overly polite or are you trying to delay the inevitable?”
Grrr, you smart, smarty-pants doctor of smarts.

“Okay, Gareth
is what happened,” I admitted with defeat, while continuing to
scratch my leg with the pen.

The mention of
Bryce’s cousin, her patient, got her full attention.

She snapped
her eyes to mine. “How so?” she asked probingly.

I shrugged my
shoulders as I nonchalantly rattled off my reasons. “He came by to
visit. Scott and I have a history. I don’t really know how to act
around him. He makes me feel uneasy. And, his aftershave triggered
a flashback.”

She raised her
eyebrow then frowned at me. “Tell me all about it. I want to know
what happened from the moment he walked in to the moment you passed
out.” She patted her pockets, looking for a pen. I reluctantly
offered hers back.

“Never mind,
I’ve got another one.” She reached into her briefcase and pulled
out another pen.
Brilliant, I probably would not have
relinquished this one anyway.

I repeated
everything that had transpired like she asked me to, while she sat
there and took her notes.

“Alexis, we’ve
been through the possibility of your flashbacks being a result of
your inner guilt—”

I cut in. “But
I don’t feel guilty anymore. I’ve honestly accepted that the fall
was not my fault. So why would my mind persist on trying to
convince me of something I am already convinced of?”

“Well, that’s
a good question. And my answer to that is that this recent attack
may just be a result of your anxious feelings toward Gareth. It may
be completely separate from your fall altogether.”

I shrugged my
shoulders. Maybe she was right, although I wasn’t quite sure.

“I can
prescribe a mild antidepressant drug for you, if you’d like. But,
honestly, I don’t think you’ll need it. I think we should continue
our talks, I also think you need to get back to your normal
everyday life. You’ve been working again, which is good. How about
your friends? Have you seen any of them?”

“No, not yet,”
I answered, quickly.

“Why’s
that?”

“I’ve just
wanted time with Bryce, alone. It’s too soon to see them.”

She nodded.
“That’s okay, Alexis. You can see people when you are ready to see
them. I’m glad you’re consciously making that choice.” Her voice
sounded soft and reassuring. “Think of it as a process, a routine,
a cycle as such. As time moves on and you go back to doing the
things you have always done, you will find that you are moving on
out of habit. Now, if that doesn’t happen for some reason, we will
look at other methods to help that eventuate.”

She put her
notepad down and picked up her phone. “Now, if Gareth triggers
another attack I want to know right away. That, in itself, is
perplexing, but as I said it may just be a result of your dislike
for him—”

“It’s not that
I don’t like him. I just get the feeling he doesn’t like me and
that makes me feel uneasy.”

“Well, that’s
fair enough. It might be best to just avoid him initially though,
or practice the breathing techniques I taught you for when you do
come across him again.” She started typing into her phone. “When
are you planning on seeing your children next?”

“Tomorrow,” I
answered with a smile.

“Good. After
you explain to Nate and Charlotte what has happened, you may find
you feel less anxious and that a weight of relief has been lifted
from you, a weight you did not know you carried.”

“I’m fully
aware that I am carrying that particular weight, Jessica.”

“Of course you
know you are carrying
that
weight, Alexis. But
that weight could also be linked to you being anxious and fearful
in general, not just over telling your children. Do you understand
what I’m saying?” She rested her hands on her lap.

“Oh, yes,
maybe.” I deliberated that notion for a second.

“Getting back
to being intimate with Bryce may also help relieve your anxiety. Do
you have any concerns about that?”

“We have been
intimate.” I quickly correct myself, slightly stuttering. “We have
obviously not made love yet...but we have had intimate moments.”
Oh my God! I’m talking to Jessica about having sex with Bryce.
Once upon a time I would have considered this an adynaton, maybe I
need to look out the window and see if a pig flies past.