Funhouse (22 page)

He wasn’t quite sure how to get to the warehouse, and thought it best to check with one of the locals that he was on the right track before Gloria woke up and gave him another ear bashing for ruining their night.  He pulled over to the sidewalk, and rolled down the window. There was on older man heading towards him, walking a scruffy looking Jack Russell terrier with a pink bow tied behind its ears.

Johnson verified that he was indeed on the right track, and the local told him that he needed to go through the village, past the forest and he would see the signs for the warehouse. He thanked the man and was on his way again, when Gloria stirred and woke.

“
What time is it?” She asked as she rubbed sleep out of her eyes.

“
Just after eight. You have been out for a while.”

He looked at her, and although she wasn’t what would be deemed conventionally beautiful, she had a certain something that appealed to him. He thought it might be what he referred to as her ‘natural’ beauty. She wasn’t the type to go overboard with make-up, and even so she was looked upon enviously by her fellow females, as her skin was clean and smooth, enhanced by the scatter of freckles across her nose. At twenty-three, she was thirteen years younger than Johnson, but intellectually they were similar, sharing a love for fine dining and opera, which was a world away from his home life where the weekly topic of conversation was the comings and goings on the latest reality TV show. She looked at him, her eyes a stunning blue-green.

“How long is this going to take?” She said as she lit a cigarette.

He could tell that although she was still pissed at him, she seemed to have calmed down a little.

“Not long. Crockett is on my ass to fix this tonight.”

“
You should tell that sack of shit to do it himself if it’s so important.”

“
It’s my job Gloria, I had no choice.”

“
Yeah, well your job has screwed up our night.  You should just quit, you are way too good for that place.”

“
You know I can’t quit.”

“
Oh yeah, wifey wouldn’t approve.” She sneered.

“
Hey come on, we agreed that we wouldn’t talk about my other life when we are together.”

She didn’t say anything, and turned away to look out of the window.  They drove on in silence. There was little traffic, and apart from a cherry red convertible full of rowdy teens that overtook them way too fast, and too close for comfort, the road was empty. The green spires of Oakwell Forest rolled past on his right, and eventually, he saw the slip road leading towards the industrial area. He maneuvered the car down the rutted, dirt road.

“Jesus, haven’t they heard of blacktop here?” Gloria muttered.

“
I doubt there would be much call for it here.”

He passed a hulking industrial laundry on his right, and then a little further down, the sweet smell of sawdust heralded the lumber mill, a huge concrete structure which looked eerie in its deserted state. Gloria had noticed it too.

“The place is a ghost town.” She said as she watched the building roll past.

“
They will all be closed up. I guess by mid-afternoon the workers down tools and whole area is empty.”

“
Will anyone be at this warehouse to meet us?”

“
No, it’s used for storage, and even then it’s only ever staffed at Christmas. The rest of the year, it sits empty.” He saw the roof of the building appear in the distance. “There it is.”

They pulled up at the warehouse, a rectangular slab of concrete with steel roller shutter doors. When it was operational, it housed a hundred and fifty dedicated staff who were responsible for local distribution. Johnson had visited once before, but that was in December and the place was a hive of activity, which couldn’t be further from the heavy silence as he shut off the car’s engine.

“Is nobody even here to meet us?” Gloria asked as she leaned forwards in her seat to peer out of the window.

“
No, there is nobody here on a weekend. It’s just us.”

“
You
aren’t supposed to work weekends.” She said, glaring at him.

“
Look, Gloria, I know you aren’t happy about this and neither am I, but I didn’t have a choice. Let’s just get this over and done with and be on our way. Okay?”

“
Yeah, well it looks like I don’t have a choice.”

She didn’t give him a chance to answer, exiting the car and making sure to slam the door to emphasise her annoyance. Johnson sighed, tried to push his headache away. He took a moment to compose himself, then grabbed the warehouse keys from the glove compartment, and exited the car.

The air was cool, and the breeze pulled at Johnsons coat as he walked towards the door. He leafed through the tangle of keys he had been given, selected the correct one and unlocked the door, remembering to punch in the alarm key combination as he entered and switched on the lights.

They were in a short reception hallway with another locked door at the end. Johnson walked towards it, pushed through into the main workspace, and immediately drew breath.

The cavernous space was filled with Tilly dolls. The ones that had been returned in the original packaging were stacked on several wooden pallets. The loose returns were in dozens of cloth bins, which were filled almost to overflowing with the toys.

Before he had seen it for himself, Johnson had half an idea that Crockett had been overdramatising, but as he stood there, he understood why his boss had perhaps been a little short tempered with him.

“That’s a lot of dolls.” Gloria mumbled as she checked her Twitter account on her phone.

“
Yeah, you got that right. Must be something fundamental that’s wrong with them for so many to come back.”

Gloria nodded, and walked over to one of the bins, picking up a doll and looking it over.

“So what’s the gimmick with these?” She asked as she turned the lifelike doll over in her hands.

He crossed the room to join her, and took the doll.

“Well, these are different to other dolls on the market. For starters, they aren’t made of plastic, and they have a steel skeleton with a latex composite body over the top. We designed the frame to mimic the human body, so it can articulate in the same way we can. Here, I’ll show you.”

“
If it works.” She said, flashing him a seductive smile that told him that he might well be approaching forgiveness.

Johnson turned the doll over, and flicked the on off switch located on the back of its neck. It sprang to life, opening and closing its tiny hands and wrinkling its nose with freakishly lifelike accuracy. Johnson set it down on the floor and it began to walk in jerky, ponderous movements.

“It looks so real, but the walk is off.” Gloria said, as she stared at the doll as it walked in its Frankenstein lumber.

“
Yeah, the walk cycle needs work. The initial selling point was the expression engine that made them behave realistically, and the eye cameras that made them remember their owner.”

Gloria touched her finger to the dolls hand, and it gently grasped her fingertip.

“That’s pretty amazing.” Gloria said with a smile. “It almost feels real.”

“
That’s the point, although I would move your finger just in case.”

“
Of what?”

“
Well, until I find out what the fault is, I don’t want to risk that gentle grasp turning into one that could break your finger.”

She flipped him
her
middle finger, and pulled her other hand free as Johnson grinned and took the doll over to the supervisor’s office and set it on the desk.

“
So what now?” Gloria asked as she sat on the couch at the rear of the room.

“
Now.” He said as he slid the toolbox out from under the table. “I find out what’s wrong with these things.”

“
All of them?”

“
No, don’t worry, not them all.” He said with a grin. “One should suffice to find the issue, I can verify my findings on a second model, and then we can get out of here.”

“
They seem to be working fine to me.”

“
Yeah, I can’t see anything wrong yet either.”

The Tilly doll turned its head slightly, and looked past Johnson.

“Hi, Gloria.” It said with its robotic voice.

“
What the hell was that?” She said to Johnson, as she stared at the doll.

Johnson couldn’t hide his smile.

“It’s normal; it has a microphone inside the hairline that picks up sounds whilst the doll is activated. It’s designed to listen for names and remember them.”

“
Well it’s creepy, and I don’t like it.”

“
Kids love it; it makes the entire experience more real. Check this out.”

He held the doll up in front of him and looked into its eyes as he spoke.

“Hi, I’m Tom, what’s your name?”

The doll turned back to him, its rubberised mouth moving as it replied.

“Hi, I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we play together?”

Johnson glanced over his shoulder and grinned at Gloria, who didn’t seem impressed. Undeterred, he continued.

“Do you know my name?”

The doll blinked and turned its head as the canned response came from its lips.

“You are Tom, and I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can I play with Gloria now?”

Johnson turned towards Gloria, who was watching with vague interest.

“It seems Tilly here wants to play.” He said, holding the doll out towards her.

“
Yeah, well Tilly can wait, and if Tom Johnson wants to play later, he better hurry his ass up and get to work.”

She smiled at him and raised her eyebrows, and he grinned in return.

“Sorry, Tilly.” He said as he turned the doll face down on the desk. “But that’s an offer I just can’t refuse.”

“
Hi, I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we play together?”

Tom selected a screwdriver and began to unscrew the panel in the Tilly back, as it continued to speak into the table.

“Hi, I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we play together?”

“
Hi, I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we play together?”

“
Hi, I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we play together?”

“
Should it be doing that?” Gloria asked as Johnson worked on unscrewing the panel.

“
No. Although the dolls only have a set number of responses, it should wait until it is interacted with.”

“
Hi, I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we play together?”

“
Hi, I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we play together?”

“
Well, I can see why people would send the damn things back, it’s annoying.” Gloria said as she sat back on the sofa.

“
Yeah, I’ll shut it up in a second.” He muttered as he pulled the casing open.

“
Hi I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Can we...”

Johnson pulled the battery, and the doll was silenced.

“At last.” Gloria grumbled. “That thing was driving me insane.”

“
Well, the good thing is it gives me an idea of what I’m looking for fault wise. This might not take too long after all.”

“
Good, the sooner the better. I’m getting hungry.”

There’s a cafeteria upstairs. It will be closed but there are a couple of vending machines if you want to get a bite to eat.”

“What a romantic night this is turning into.” She grumbled under her breath.

He glanced at her and frowned, then saw that she was only half-serious.

“Do you want anything?” She asked as she stood and stretched.

“
Maybe a can of something cold.”

“
I’ll take a look. You and old Greeneyes here behave.”

“
One affair is enough for me.” He said as she passed him. He watched her go, and then turned his attention back to the dolls innards. Everything looked to be as it should, and after giving everything a quick once over, he slipped the battery back into the doll and switched it on. Immediately, it spoke.

“
Hi I’m Tilly Greeneyes. Where is Gloria?”

He smiled, and could understand why kids could get so involved, it really was lifelike. He supposed it was as good a chance as any to test the memory engine, and so placed the doll in a seated position on the desk in front of him.

“Gloria isn’t here, Tilly.” He said, marvelling at the way the doll’s eyes seemed to be looking right at him. “You will have to make do with me.”

“
I want to play with Gloria. She is my best friend.”

“
Can you remember my name?” Johnson asked the doll.