“I can help you with that.” Apparently he was no longer in control of his brain around Maggie when he'd just volunteered to spend time in a dusty garage searching through someone else's boxes.
“I have no right to ask you.” Maggie's lips formed a half smile despite her unshed tears.
“You didn't ask me, and I don't mind. How about this Friday?” He had the day off and planned to spend it hiking since the weather had turned into spring overnight, but he couldn't do that all day.
“You're very kind. I was right about you. I honestly wouldn't blame you if you wanted nothing to do with either one of us again.”
And if it were anyone else but Maggie, he might have to agree.
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So he hadn't pitied her and told her how sorry he was, like everyone else did when they heard the horrible news about Matt. Maggie wondered about that. Then, again, he was a police officer and had probably heard much worse. And maybe he realized that offering sad platitudes about the injustice of the world did nothing to ease a person's pain. In fact, if anything, it brought it all back up again, front and center.
At least today maybe the boxes would be found, and they'd move forward to the next chapter in their lives. But even though the items in the missing boxes were Lexi's current fixation, Maggie couldn't help but think that there would be another issue around the corner. Mementos would only be a temporary solution. Lexi needed to turn to God to heal the hurt, but Maggie couldn't force her. She'd have to get there on her own.
Still, it had to get done even if Maggie hadn't been able to face the garage in months. Fear of spiders kept her away, and regret. One of these boxes might just send her back into the darkness again, and she couldn't afford another few months of fading away into the comfort of sleep.
On Friday, Jack arrived in the late morning wearing jeans and a faded U.S. Marshal t-shirt. Maggie tried not to notice how to shirt strained against the hard planes of his chest, and she briefly imagined what he might look like with his shirt off.
Stop it.
Why couldn't her neighbor be homely?
He frowned as he surveyed the mess of boxes. “Hey, you weren't kidding.”
“I meant it when I said we brought everything.”
He got to work immediately, pulling the ladder near the row of boxes that were stacked seven-feet high and three-boxes deep.
“We need a plan. How do you want to do this?” he asked.
For the next few hours they worked together, Jack bringing down boxes that had been out of her reach for months. She'd look in them, make a judgment call, and he'd return them back to their original place.
The plastic boxes were easy to work with but when it came to the cardboard boxes Maggie held her breath. Spiders loved cardboard, and for that reason, she'd worn gloves in addition to a long sleeved cotton shirt.
Inside a cardboard box marked “Lexi,” Maggie found a treasure of early art work.
A drawing Lexi made in first grade of her dad fishing, her childish scrawl “Mah dadi luv to fsh” a reminder of the precious little girl who was still in there somewhere.
Maggie set the drawing aside. Lexi would want this, and it might bring some comfort. Stiffly, she brushed aside a cobweb with her gloved hand.
And there around the lid of the box, the maker of the webs crawled out. Maggie dropped the drawing and jumped back almost as fast as the spider did. It made no sense, but suddenly she could feel the spider, or maybe its twin, crawling around in her hair.
“Yeow.” She danced around and swatted at her hair until she remembered she wasn't alone in the garage, and probably looked like a lunatic. But still she couldn't help it as she continued to whip her hair around in hopes the spider would release its hold on her. “Is it in my hair? Because I feel like it's in my hair.” Why hadn't she thought to wear a hat as well?
In between jiggles and head whips, Jack climbed down the ladder and moved toward her. She forced herself to still as he approached. He searched through her hair, one hand touching it lightly and the other holding her chin still.
“Sorry. No spider.” He took his hands out of her hair, stood back, and stared in her eyes.
“Good.” She relaxed for a moment and then her stomach did a flip while her heart raced for no apparent reason other than the fact that Jack continued to gaze in her eyes.
She fixated on the blue irises. They probably only seemed intense because they contrasted against his brown hair. Neither one of them said a word.
“Hey, I'm home. What are you doing?” Lexi dropped her backpack with a thud in the driveway of the open garage.
“We're looking for the missing boxes.” Maggie's face flushed as though she'd been caught doing something wrong, though last time she checked, staring at a good-looking man was not a sin.
“I want to help,” Lexi said, moving toward an open box.
“Look what I found,” Maggie handed the drawing to Lexi. “Thought you might want this.”
Lexi's gaze lingered, and Maggie's heart ached at the darkness that passed over her daughter's face. The past would only hurt her more, and Maggie wondered what they were doing in here, trying to unearth it.
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Another few seconds and Jack would have had to apologize to Lexi, and not the other way around. For kissing her mother.
First, Maggie had dressed like a beekeeper, wearing gloves and a long sleeved shirt to sort through boxes. Seemed like overkill. But she'd really had his attention with the spider dance. The woman appeared to be deathly afraid of spiders, and she'd tossed that wavy mane of hair around like a white flag.
He'd tried to help but didn't expect her hair to feel like spun silk in his hands. Or to enter a staring contest, but he'd been taken in by those eyes. His hand had touched that porcelain skin, and unable to break away, he'd stood and stared like a fool until Lexi's voice broke the trance.
The hours continued to pass with only occasional breaks for the iced tea Maggie offered, and before either of them realized it, dusk had arrived. And according to every box that he offered to Maggie for perusal, they hadn't found any of the missing items.
“I owe you dinner for all this work you've done,” Maggie said.
He remembered the lasagna, and hungry though he was, he couldn't handle more of Maggie's cooking. “You don't need to go to any trouble for me.”
Behind Maggie, Lexi eyed him, a smirk on her face. Did she really think he would criticize her mother's cooking and hurt Maggie's feelings?
“It's no trouble.” Maggie smiled.
“I can grill,” Jack offered. Today had been a warm spring day, and summer grilling seemed just around the bend. And even though his mind told him he should get home and prepare to fight sleep again, his body kept him tethered there.
“You don't have to do that.” Maggie shook her head.
“I really don't mind,” he insisted.
“Well, I think I have some steaks,” Maggie said.
“I want hotdogs,” Lexi said.
He followed them inside through the house to the outside patio filled with green potted plants hanging from hooks. A placard read: “One is nearer to God's heart in the garden than anywhere else on earth.” Maybe Maggie couldn't cook a lick, but she did have a green thumb.
“I'll go get the steaks and hotdogs,” Maggie said, walking back into the house.
The grill sat in the corner, a dusty and forgotten beast. Maggie probably didn't know how to light the charcoal, either.
His chest constricted as he thought of Kimberly and wondered if she'd ever learned to start the lawn mower or light the grill. He should find out. If he'd had the guts to stick around he would have been the one to take care of those things in Robert's place.
Lexi handed him some matches and directed him to the lighter fluid. She continued to glare as though he might steal the family silver. “What are you doing?”
“I'm preparing the grill, kid. What does it look like?” He poured some coals out of the bag.
“Why don't you just tell my mother that you hate her cooking? We both know it's true.” Lexi folded her arms across her chest.
“I didn't say that.”
“You didn't have to. Why are you really here?”
“I'm helping your mother look for the missing boxes of your dad's things.”
“She told you about my dad?” Her eyes widened.
“That's what this is all aboutâyour mother, trying to make it better for you.”
Lexi was about to say much more, of that he was certain, but Maggie walked outside carrying a plate of meat and wearing a floral sundress that showed off the best pair of legs he'd ever seen. He averted his eyes before the kid could notice. Too late.
“What are you wearing?” Lexi asked, her voice dripping with hostility.
“I found this in one of the boxes. I can't believe it still fits me.”
“I can't believe you're wearing it.”
“Lexi, you're being rude,” Maggie warned.
Jack tightened his jaw harder with each of Lexi's words, but he kept quiet. Not his problem, but he wondered if Maggie's husband had allowed the kid to talk to her that way. He assembled the coals and poured on the lighter fluid.
“Fine. I'm sorry, but it's just that⦔ Lexi glanced from him to Maggie and then back again. She groaned, threw up her hands in the air and stomped back inside the house.
Jack tossed a match on the charcoals and stepped back from the growing heat of the flames. He couldn't help it when his gaze followed Maggie as she sighed and walked to the edge of the deck where she stared into the forest of trees behind them.
“These teenage years are going to be one big carnival ride. I can tell.”
“Hopefully, you like roller coasters.” He tried to keep his tone light, teasing. The effort exhausted him.
Maggie turned to him. “I don't. They make me sick.”
The pain in those green eyes nearly undid him. “This might be my fault. She knows you told me about her father and the boxes.”
“If anyone misspoke, it would be me. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but I'm grateful you helped me look.”
“We didn't get through everything yet.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I should bother. Finding those boxes won't bring Matt back, and Lexi will realize that when we find them. Then what?”
“The next step. Facing reality. But the truth is having tangible memories does help.” He spoke of himself. Now he finally understood his ridiculous attachment to Robert's cigar. The surly teen had inadvertently taught him something about himself.
“You're probably right. I apologize again for my daughter's rudeness.”
“If it helps, she's wrong. That dress looks great on you.”
Maggie folded her arms across her chest. Great. He'd made her uncomfortable. “From Lexi's reaction, you would have thought I'd come out here in a swimsuit.” She shook her head.
Jack swallowed at the image that formed in his mind and tried to think about bunnies and puppies. “She doesn't care for anyone paying you attention. That sounds pretty normal right now.”
“I won't be able to date until Lexi is eighteen and out of the house. The funny thing is my boss, Vera, has been bugging me to get a life and start dating.”
“Sounds like she wants you to be happy.” He covered the grill and stepped away from it.
“I don't think I remember
how
to date.”
“Would you like a refresher course?”
What are you doing, Jack?
“I think I remember this part. Are you flirting with me?” She smiled.
“If you have to ask, I must be doing it wrong.” He smirked.
She covered her face with her hands and laughed. “I'm such a prize.”
Yes, you are.
Jack managed to keep his thoughts to himself and only laughed along with Maggie.
“I'm sorry, too, Jack.”
“For what?”
“Are you kidding me? For the way I behaved when you told me about the cigar. I jumped to conclusions and accused you of being unfair.”
“But you brought me back the cigar. It took a lot of courage to admit that you were wrong.”
She could have kept the cigar, and no one would have been the wiser.
“As a Christian, I'm compelled to do the right thing. Now to convince my daughter to feel the same way.”
“All teens rebel.”
“You haven't met my Bible study partner's daughter. She's sixteen and collects food for the homeless and leads a youth Bible study. Not all teens rebel.”
“The ones I've seen do.” He didn't want to go there right now. In this quiet twilight air, with Maggie's soft voice and only the sound of a light wind brushing through the trees, he could fool himself into thinking that he might avoid the nightmares tonight.
“I blame myself. Lexi wasn't raised in the church from the time she was a small child like some of the other kids. Matt and I used to argue about whether we should take her to Sunday school. Matt was a believer, but thought his parents had pushed religion down his throat, and he rebelled because of that.”
“My grandfather used to take me to church, but he was the only one who ever did.” James Butler had been the only member of his family to tell Jack he'd never give up on him. Even when he'd been a hellion of the first caliber. Talk about rebellion. He could have outmatched Lexi's antics with his hands tied behind his back.
“What about your parents?”
“They're both dead now,” Jack said, staring into the distance.
“I'm sorry. I don't remember my dad, and my mother died right before Lexi was born. My brother lives in New Jersey, but he has his own family. He tried to help as much as he could after Matt died, but he lives too far away.”