Authors: Dez Burke
Gents 4 Ladies
Copyright 2013 Dez Burke
Tiana knew she was crazy for even thinking about it.
If her white bitch of a boss hadn’t been so smug when Tianna told her she would be attending her upcoming wedding solo, she wouldn’t even be considering such a crazy idea.
“It’s so hard for a black woman to find a good man these days, isn’t it dear?” her boss had said with a condescending pat on her shoulder. “Maybe one day you’ll find a man like my dear Jonathan.”
Tiana wanted to smack her. Instead, a seed of an idea formed in her head. What if she brought the most handsome, sexy, drop-dead gorgeous man she could find as her date to the wedding? That would shut her boss up. And after all, how hard could it be to find somebody?
Turned out-pretty damn hard.
She’d quickly run through her short list of possible dates without any success. Going to a wedding would be torture for any man and they all had good excuses why they couldn’t escort her. Now here it was, three days before the big wedding on Saturday, and she didn’t have a date.
Oh my God my life is crap, Tiana decided, fingers pressed to her temples. How was it possible that a woman in her mid-twenties, successful with loads of friends, could feel so lonely? All she needed was a man to accompany her for a few hours. To show her boss she could indeed find a good man if she wanted to.
Just like that, she’d made up her mind the next move to make.
It took a few minutes on the search engine to get her to where she wanted to be. She’d seen the website featured on “The Wendy Williams Show” and it sounded completely legit.
She typed in the name “Gents4Ladies” and there it was.
It looked like some kind of a male escort directory, with hordes of gorgeous guys promising an evening of conversation, companionship or dancing. The website explicitly stated that no sexual favors would be granted in exchange for money. The males were simply offering their companionship and nothing more.
Well, Tiana thought, companionship for a few hours is exactly what I’m looking for…
Only last week, her close friend and colleague, Alyssa, had recommended the website as both girls had hung out at their favorite bar and discussed Tiana’s dilemma. “You’ve always threatened to go the ‘gigolo’ route if you ever ran out of options,” Alyssa teased, her blue eyes twinkling beneath her thick blonde fringe.
Tiana had looked doubtfully into her tequila. “I was only joking! Do you really think I could pay someone to go with me?”
Alyssa nodded firmly. “Just check out that website and look for “Jordan”. He comes highly recommended from a friend of mine. She needed an escort for a trade show function. From what I hear, he’s gorgeous.” An impish grin crossed the petite blonde’s face, and she added, “If you ever make up your mind to go for it, Jordan sounds like your best bet.”
Tiana hadn’t taken Alyssa seriously, not then. But now, a week later, curiosity and a sense of adventure suddenly struck her. Truth was, she
this; a bit of excitement, something out of her comfort zone to make her feel like she had red blood in her veins still and wasn’t turning into a burned out prune at barely twenty-seven.
Suddenly, her fingers were flying over the keys as she found her way to the website Alyssa had suggested. Soon she was going through the guys’ photo gallery, keeping in mind the name ‘Jordan’ as she decided she would stick with Alyssa’s commendation in that regard as well. All this was new to Tiana and she definitely wasn’t taking chances.
In no time, she’d picked him out from the numerous escorts on offer, and couldn’t hold back a gasp.
Alyssa had been right. He was a total hunk; and unlike the others his own shot didn’t look posed but seemed just like he was taking a casual stroll along the beach when the image was taken. He was smiling into the camera, a warm, teasing smile that made her wonder who had been behind the lens. A loving girlfriend?
His name was simply Jordan, with a single cryptic line:
Good at dancing and conversation.
Hmm, Tiana mused, now curious enough to go ahead and click on his picture to view his profile. His "page" was more descriptive and full of details.
Jordan. I know how to please... Whether it's for a classy night out with dinner and drinks or a serious business function, I'm your man. I promise to give you top value - or your money back. Guaranteed.
Now that really struck Tiana as funny. What escort gave a money-back guarantee? She chuckled to herself; obviously he was a joker. And yet he'd made enough of an impression to make her want to pick up the phone and call the number provided on the screen. She didn't even want to check out the profiles of any other guys; she was afraid she'd lose her nerve and change her mind about the whole thing if she did. After all, this was way beyond anything she’d ever tried in the past. At least this guy came with a referral from a friend.
Truth be told, the guy named Jordan was certainly nothing like the men Tiana normally dated. For one thing, he was white. Hot as sin, but
So far Tiana had never had an opportunity to get physically involved interracially. That didn’t mean she didn’t have an eye for an attractive looking man no matter his skin-color or ethnicity.
And Jordan looked like a flipping sex god. And hey, if she was going to do something as outrageous as hiring a male escort, she might as well go all the way and pick someone to blow her boss’s socks off – right?
So she was picking Jordan as her first and only choice, decided Tiana. And if there was anything she felt uneasy with after the phone call, then she'd forget about the whole idea.
She couldn’t wait to see her boss’s face when she walked through the receiving line at the reception with Jordan. Smiling wickedly to herself in new-found anticipation, she reached for the phone.
"I'm sorry, I think you've got the wrong number," Jordan said, frowning slightly as he listened to the smooth, flowing feminine voice on the phone. The caller had just told him she was interested in booking a male escort for a few hours to attend a wedding.
"Really? Aren't you Jordan?"
He paused, shocked. How did she know his name? "Ah...yes, I am, but…"
"Look, Jordan, I've never done this before, and it's kind of nerve-racking for me. So I'd appreciate it if you just let me know what I need to do here. Once again, are you Jordan, good with conversation and dancing? With a money-back guarantee?"
Once again Jordan was thunderstruck. He was getting really freaked out here. But he decided there had to be a good explanation for all this.
"Look um, lady, could you tell me where you got my phone number and all this information?"
"Its right there on this website called Gents4Ladies. And it has your number on it and now I'm talking to you so obviously I'm not the one who's mixed up here. So are you a male escort or not?"
Apparently I am, Jordan thought in amazement as he stared at the computer screen in front of him. He'd typed in the address she'd mentioned, and right there was his name and photo listed on the home page with a host of other guys.
What the hell? He clicked on his photo, scanned the "details", and decided that someone out there, someone very close to him and very crazy, was playing a prank on him.
"Jordan, are you there?"
He shook out of his daze to find the woman was still on the line. He realized he was curious about her. Was she in on the joke? Was this all part of the set-up? And how on earth could he get to the bottom of this, discover who was behind this? It had to be for a television show like “Punked.” There couldn’t be any other explanation. But who would do something this crazy?
Only one way to find out, he mused. He decided to play along.
"Yes, ma’am, I'm still here."
Tiana sighed deeply. For a second she'd been about to say screw it and just hang up. But there was something about the way he sounded; he had a distinct, very stirring voice. Sexy. A man with a voice like that couldn't be a bad lover, she surmised. She forced herself to focus.
"So, Jordan. Down to business. I looked carefully over your portfolio and the services you provide. I'm interested in the full package."
Jordan hoped she couldn't hear the slight croak in his voice. His eyes ranged over the web page in front of him but he was too muddled up by the whole fiasco to even understand what was happening. The words on the screen suddenly seemed jumbled up, gibberish.
"Ah...lady, what's your name if I may ask?"
She seemed to hesitate, and then said, "Tiana."
"OK, Tiana. Great. So...if you could just spell things out for me so I'll know exactly what you ah...you desire." Sheesh! That sounded so lame even to his own ears. If he ever got his hands on whoever was responsible for this...
"Fine. Um...well, I'm looking at your page now, and it seems you've ticked certain...items regarding what you're able to offer."
"Well, I'm thinking of trying the whole deal: dining, then dancing and whatever else comes with it. I assume since it’s a wedding I would need to purchase the whole package?"
Jordan's brain had flipped since the word "whole package".
Whoa whoa whoa
. Oh my God! What the hell did that mean? Was sex involved? Surely so. Wasn’t that illegal though? But the site was for male escorts. It felt like his hormones had flashed forward ahead of him and his brain just couldn’t catch up.
Well, he had to give it to this Tiana lady; any woman who could be so business-like about such an issue had to be something. He couldn't help wondering what she looked like; was she a stunner? Why was she booking a male escort anyway? Was she a lonely, neglected housewife, or some adventurous modern chick who liked to live on the wild side? Or was she just a desperate female looking for any kind of fun available on the internet? Not that he’d ever tried it, but Jordan knew a few things about internet dating and seeking companionship online especially in this hectic day and age where meeting like minds was harder than ever. Did Tiana fit this category?
Why was he even wondering
? He should be hanging up and then freaking out about having his picture on the internet with his real name and real phone number out there for random women to just ring him up and order...dinner and the “whole package”! He wondered whatever else it said in his profile that he'd be willing to do!
But he didn't hang up. Oh no, he kept listening, as honey-voiced Tiana with the professional tone kept talking about her boss and a wedding.
"Wait...what?" He suddenly blurted out, as her last sentence finally broke through the haze. "Did you say you wanted to book for this Saturday?"
"Why, yes...I know it's very short notice. But I was really hoping you'd be available. I'll understand if you aren't."
Oh, sure I'm not; I've got a whole line of clients waiting for me to please and tease them, he thought wildly, but managed to rein himself in to say, "No, I'm free, actually."
"That's great. Like I said, this will be my very first experience and I don't mind paying some extra for you agreeing on such a quick booking. So, is there an agency or some kind of administrative angle I need to deal with, I mean regarding the payment process?"
Jordan felt like he'd been rocked off a boat when he realized that, hey, here was a woman, about to pay for his companionship. Even though she hadn’t mentioned sex, he was certain she had that in mind as well. There was something so kinky about the idea.
"Thanks, Tiana, but cash is fine,” he said, not really knowing what the hell he was talking about. “And it’s really generous of you - about offering to pay extra. However since this is your very first time, I will even be willing to give you a discount."
Are you crazy
? The sensible voice in his head yelled. You aren't supposed to be offering a discount; you're supposed to be telling her that this was all a crazy prank. You're supposed to be calling the police and reporting how your privacy, your decency has been violated, dammit!
In fact, Jordan was opening his mouth in readiness to tell her exactly that. That hey, this was all just a bad mistake, and advise her to maybe try some other male escort. A real male escort.
But then suddenly, he realized that was the last thing he wanted her to do...
Tiana was surprised how easy it all turned out to be. She'd been dreading some long-drawn out process and going through one agent and another. And yet all it had taken was one phone call.
She was almost jittery with anticipation. This Jordan guy had seemed really different from what she'd imagined. He'd sounded quite cultured, and she couldn't help thinking that some of these male escorts were actually men of standing who liked to indulge in some alternative past-time just for the fun of it. Was her Jordan that kind of guy?
She laughed out loud at the thought that she'd called him ‘her’ Jordan. Obviously she was
looking forward to her night. She felt nervous, and filled with an excitement and interest in life she hadn't felt in a long time.