Getting a Life (12 page)

'Anyone fancy the pub?' she asked in the staffroom.

'Wow, you're actually asking us to go out?' one of the blokes said.

'Why so surprised?'

'Usually we have to cajole you into coming. Okay, I'm up for it. Anyone else?' One or two of the others agreed and so a small group left the college and went across to the pub. Trisha was amongst them and walked with her friend.

'How's Mike' she asked.

'No idea. I haven't seen him for a while.'

'Really? I thought you were a firm thing. You know, going strong.'

'Obviously not. Right you lot, I'm buying. What do you want?' She was determined not to waste her time talking to Trisha about Mike. Thinking about him was painful enough and she didn't even want to go there.

She bought a couple of bottle of wine and several glasses across to their table.

'I decided we're all drinking the same.' She poured it out and drank hers quickly. 'Someone else can get the next lot,' she told them.

'I say, steady on Joanne. You're drinking much too fast for safety.'

'Rubbish,' she remarked as she poured a second glass for herself. 'I'm not a virgin bride any more.' She gave a loud hiccup and sat back in her seat. The others smiled but said nothing.

The evening went on, ending up at their favourite curry place. Joanne was fairly drunk but quickly sobered after eating a plate of hot curry. She was funny, flirty and they all seemed to enjoy her company.

'Where have you really been, up till now?' one of the men asked her.

'I've just been too shy. Now it's time I escaped from shyness and came out.'

'Well good on ya. Maybe you might fancy a night out with me? Just the two of us?'

'I might just do that,' she told him, pouring herself another glass from the bottle on the table.

'When?' he asked.

'I'm not exactly sure.' She suddenly felt terribly drunk and was happily leading him on.

'How about tomorrow? We could go out on the town. Enjoy ourselves.'

She hiccuped again. 'I don't think I feel too well. I'm sorry.'

Trisha came over and told the others she would look after her. The man who had been chatting her looked a little crestfallen.

'I'll drive her home and see she's okay. No worries.'

'Okay. If you're sure. See you on Monday.'

They all left and Trisha took Joanne's arm and led her back to college, where their cars were parked.

'Come on love. You sit in the passenger seat and I'll drive you home.'

'It's all right. I'll manage just fine.'

'No way. You're not driving anywhere after drinking.'

'You're very kind. Thank you Trisha.'

'So, no Mike around to take care of you?'

'Not at all. He wanted to take a break and after he went out with you, I s'pose he just isn't interested in little ole me any more.'

'Is that what you really think?' her friend asked. 'You're wrong. Quite wrong. I did go out with him once. He was very cool with me, though.'

'Really?'

'Yes, really.'

'So what did you do?'

'Went for very nice meal. He was hesitant about coming back for coffee but I persuaded him to. Then he went home again. That was it.'

'You didn't snog him?' she asked, still feeling rather drunk.

'No. I asked him to but he turned me down. Flat.'

'I'm going to be sick. Can you stop the car please?' Trisha screeched to a halt and leaned over to open the passenger door.

'You okay, love?' she asked.

'Remind me never to drink like that again. In fact I'm going to give up drinking altogether.'

'Don't worry about it. We all say that. Not a good first time out on your own, was it?'

'I miss him. He told me not to be so serious but I miss him.' She began to cry. 'I know I'm stupid but I really miss him.'

'Nearly home. I'll make some strong coffee and then you should go to bed. I'll come round tomorrow and drive you to college to collect your car.'

'You're a very, very good friend. Thanks Trisha. But I'm so glad you didn't snog him. So very glad.'

Trisha smiled. If Joanne knew half the story ... She had invited him into her flat and tried very hard to entice him into her bed. She'd even tried getting him drunk and had done a sort of striptease in front of him. But nothing would move him. She had really wanted him on that occasion, wanted to prove that Dave wasn't the only man in her life. He'd turned her down and had finally left. She had thought of complaining to the agency but had decided it would be mean and spiteful. It had taught her a lesson though. She and Dave had finally made up their own row and were well and truly back together again. As for Mike, he was best forgotten. For both of them.

'Now, drink this. Plus a glass of water.' She handed a strong black coffee to her friend.

'Thanks. I feel better now. I really made a fool of myself, didn't I?'

'You did rather. But I think it may have done you some good with the others.'

'But I hate drunken women. I bet everyone does.'

'I don't think they realised you were quite as drunk as you were. Don't worry about it. As for Mike, maybe you should give him a call? You've proved something by not seeing him. Why not ask if he's given up on his course? Makes it a good reason to call him.'

'I'll think about it. Maybe if he doesn't come on Tuesday?'

'Sounds like a plan. Now, would you like me to put you to bed?'

'I'll be fine now, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again.'

'No worries.' On that note, she left her friend, hoping she never had to find out about her own evening with Mike.

Joanne felt nervous about meeting up with her colleagues again but they were all friendly and one of them asked her if she'd go for a drink with him. She was about to say no but something stopped her and she agreed to go out with him. She didn't even fancy him one little bit but she felt it would be foolish to turn him down. The date was set for the next day. She was very nervous about the whole thing but was determined to make herself go.

When Mike failed to show again at her lecture, Trisha came to ask if she was going to phone him.

'Maybe tomorrow,' she said. 'I'm going out this evening.'

'Good for you. Show the world you're in the market again.'

'We'll have to see about that.'

They went to a pub outside the town. It was a quiet place, mostly for eating rather than drinking.

'I thought you might like to have a meal?' Roy offered.

'Thanks. That would be lovely.'

'I took the liberty of booking a table actually. Hoping you'd agree to eat.'

It was a slightly difficult evening. They had little in common, except they both worked at the college. Conversation was slow and somewhat stilted. A group of people came into the dining room and sat across the other side from them. She glanced across and almost fell apart. Mike was there, accompanying a slightly dull looking lady. He was being his usual self, charming and chatty. He looked up and saw her. He hesitated for a moment and smiled and then continued to talk to his companion. Joanne was totally shattered. She asked to be excused for a moment and went to the loo. As she was coming out, Mike was there, waiting for her.

'Hallo Jo. I'm glad to see you took my advice. Came out for an evening with someone else.'

'Yes, of course. Nice to see you,' she mumbled. 'And you? Working as always?'

'Yes. Incredibly boring. So who's the chap you're with?'

'Colleague. From college.'

'Enjoy your evening. I'd better get back.' He turned to leave but stopped and came back to her. 'I'm so sorry, Jo. I never meant to hurt you.'

'Really? Well you did. Very deeply.'

'What can I do to make things right?'

'Nothing at all. I'd better get back to Roy.'

'I'm sorry. I'll call you soon.'

She listened to his words and her heart leapt again. She knew she would give in right away to him if he did call her. She needed him to explain to her why he'd said he could never have anyone in his life permanently ... or words to that effect. Thinking about it, he must have something that had upset him in the past. Whatever it was, it had nothing to do with her. She went back to her companion for the evening. She could hardly wait for it to be over. She wanted to think of Mike again ... to wallow in remembering him. But she knew that could be fatal and tried to concentrate on Roy and whatever nonsense he was talking about.

He took her home when they had finished their meal and came in for coffee. She didn't know how to refuse him when he asked if he could. She then had the problem of getting him to leave. He seemed to sit there for ages until she finally said,

'You'll have to excuse me now. I have an early start tomorrow.'

'Oh. Sorry. Of course you have. It's been a terrific evening. Thank you so much for coming with me.'

'Thank you for asking me.'

'Can we do it again sometime?'

'I er ... I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing.'

'Okay. Well, any time you feel like eating out, I'm your man.' He leaned forward and planted a kiss on her cheek. She couldn't really avoid it and smiled once more.

'Thanks again Roy.' At last, she thought, shutting the door behind him. Never again, she decided. There was something about going out with anyone for the sake of going out. It simply did not work. She allowed herself to think about Mike once more. Why was he so different? It must be the thing they wrote about called
magic
. The umph that people had when they were together ... only this time, it was all one sided. It was only her who felt it. Obviously Mike was happy enough to have sex with her but if it turned into anything else, he didn't want it. Could she accept that? Could she make do with what he offered and no more? It needed careful consideration. She went to bed and lay awake for ages, thinking. How stupid she had been to fall for him. He was clearly in it for whatever he could get., she kept telling herself.

Trisha came into the office to pester her the following day.

'Well? How was yesterday evening?'

'All right.'

'Don't blow me away with enthusiasm. I know you went out with Roy. He was telling everyone he was taking you out. So, how was it?'

'Okay. Like I said, all right.'

'And are you going out with him again?'

'I really don't think so.'

'Why on earth not? Don't tell me, it's still Mike, isn't it?'

'Maybe. He was at the same restaurant last night.'

'And?'

'He came to speak to me. Said he'd give me a call soon.'

'Oh dear. Don't bank on him. Please don't. He isn't worth the making such an effort.'

'I won't get caught up anything again. Don't worry about it. Just because we have ... had... something special, well for just a little space of time. I won't go there again.'

'Good. Make sure you don't. He's got too many hang ups. Too much baggage to cart around with him. You need a nice uncomplicated person to go out with.'

'Like Roy for example?'

'Well yes. Not necessarily Roy but someone straight forward like Roy.'

'Well, thank you very much for the advice session. Now I've got a class to go to.'

'See you later. I'm not done yet.'

'I can't wait.' She did her best to avoid her friend and her chatting for a while.

After two more days of waiting, Mike finally called her at home during the evening.

'Hallo Joanne.' She recognised his voice immediately, loving his soft tones.

'Mike. How are you?'

'I was wondering if I could come round?'

'What now?'

'Well, yes. Or later if you prefer.'

'What do you want?'

'We need to talk. I need to talk. Please.'

'Can't we talk on the phone?'

'I'd like to come round.' She thought about it. Once he came into her house, she knew she wouldn't be able to resist him. It wouldn't do her any good to re-kindle it all again.

'I'm really not sure it's a good idea.'

'Think about it, please. I'll call you again tomorrow. There are so many things I need to say to you.'

'I will think about it. Call me tomorrow and I'll let you know my answer.'

'Okay.' He sounded hesitant, she realised. 'Same time tomorrow. Bye.'

'Good bye.' She put the phone down. She was shaking. She tried to stop but she shivered and continued to shake and shiver for the next half an hour. Why did he have this effect on her?

She thought about him the whole evening. She picked up the phone on several occasions to call him back but made herself resist the temptation. She must not see him. She must see him. Her self arguments continued for most of the evening. By the following evening, she had firmly decided that it could do no harm. Whatever he wanted, she would not get too close to him. She would not let him touch her, kiss her or anything else. If he was coming round, it would be to talk.

The evening arrived. She ate a small supper and sat waiting for the phone to ring. The appointed time came and went. No call. He must have decided to forget about her after all. Ironic after all the thought she'd given to him. She put on her television and sat watching some rubbish that appeared. By ten o'clock she had given up on him. He was now officially "out of her life".

It was a Friday. The start of the weekend. All she now needed was something to do with herself. She could always go home to see her parents. No, she would leave that till later. She would go shopping tomorrow. That would be good, she tried hard to tell herself. She might even enjoy it a little. If she was capable of enjoying anything any more. She simply had to get out of this mood she was in.

Chapter Eleven

It was early the next morning when her phone rang. It was Mike, who was now officially out of her life.

'I waited in last night but you didn't call.'

'I'm so sorry. I got a call out and had to go and do my duty. It was too early to call you when I got the message and had to be there for six o'clock. I am so sorry.'

'Don't mention it. I'm off to the shops now.'

'Can I come round this evening?'

'I ... well, okay. If you want to.'

'Thank you. Do you want to go out somewhere? To eat or just for a drink?'