Go Big (16 page)

I walked downtown blindly, barely taking note of the traffic signals. I was fuming, literally giving off steam in the drizzle.

She ran out on me
again.

That was twice now.
 

I was beside myself with worry and shock. Nobody walked out on Cade Dupree. No woman had ever left me unless I kicked
them
out of
my
bed.

And I'd kicked a lot of them out over the years.

I was a bachelor. The kind of man who wouldn't settle down. I didn't want to, ever.

Until her.

The woman had me more tied up than a rabbit in a briar patch. I was hooked the moment I saw her. I was toast.

I was
burnt
toast.

Damn it Camille… where are you?

I walked past a fancy looking jeweler and paused. They had diamonds in there. That's what I needed.

Diamonds.

And then I had to figure out how the hell to find her.

Camille

It was a dreary late spring day but I didn't care. We had an indoor pool at the Southhampton house. And the beach was beautiful in the rain.

I headed there now, grabbing a rain slicker.

Our house was in a row of huge old houses, leading down towards the water. There was a sidewalk that I'd grown up riding my bike on. In the Summer the area was crowded to the point where I tried not to go out on the weekends.

My mother had held my hand countless times on that sidewalk too, when she was alive. She'd loved it out here. Now it was just me, walking by myself in old jeans and a pair of beat up old running shoes.

But maybe in a few years… I'd be walking with someone new. Someone who'd need a bike of their own.

And a helmet.

Definitely a helmet.

I knew already I was going to be a strict mom. Especially where safety was involved. I wasn't going to let him or her out of my sight.

I laughed suddenly, my mood taking a sudden swing. I'd read about this happening but it still felt weird. One moment I'd been sad and lonely, missing Cade. The next I was laughing out loud about all the fun things we could do once we were a family.

Just the two of us.

I was imagining myself with a little girl or boy, with no sign of Cade.

And boom, just like that, the sadness was back. This time it overwhelmed me. I stepped out onto the wet sand as tears came pouring down my face. I found a piece of driftwood and sat down on it, sobbing inconsolably.

I sat there for nearly an hour, trying to calm myself. I stared out at the waves. The water normally centered me. But it didn't work this time. Nothing would work.

Nothing could take away the pain of missing Cade.

Even with all his faults and philandering, I missed him.

I didn't just miss him.
 

I fucking loved him.

I laughed again, brushing away my tears. I knew I was an idiot for loving him, but I did. So help me God, I did.

I walked home slowly, feeling strangely lighter. As if admitting that I still loved Cade had eased some of my pain. I wouldn't tolerate cheating though, no matter what he said.

The next move was his, but I was willing to listen.

I knew he still wanted me, his texts made that much obvious. I guess I'd just have to see how far he was willing to go. Maybe he'd prove to me that he would stop seeing other women.

It would be hard, but I could try to learn to trust him again.

I got home and stripped off my damp clothes. The housekeeper was making me some healthy soup from scratch as I got into a hot bath. I slurped some down and was in bed by eight o'clock. I fell asleep a few minutes later.

I was too exhausted to dream.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Cade

I sat in the dugout, waiting for my first at bat of the season. Our first game. Even more meaningfully, it was a home game. The most monumental day of my whole dang career.

I was feeling good today. I'd gotten two texts that morning which made me feel a whole hell of a lot better. I'd sent yet another text when I woke up, asking her where she was and if she was okay.

I'm okay. Have a good game tonight.

Are you ready to talk?

Soon.

That was it. But it was enough.

She was thinking of me. Even if she was God knows where. I had to believe she wasn't in another man's arms.
 

I hoped so anyway. Because I would just about lose my mind if that was the case. I'd track them down and tear the guy limb from limb.

And I'd end up in the slammer because all hell would break lose.

If someone was touching her, he was going to have some serious problems using his hands for a good long time. Because I was going to break them. Then I'd tear his head off.

Nobody touched my woman dammit.

I exhaled, remembering that it was just my imagination. But during my first time at the plate, I knew what to imagine on the ball.
 

Camille's ex. Just in case it was his ass keeping her from me.
 

If it was, I was going to smash more than his face, that was for damn sure.

The game was tight but I was playing well. I'd already hit a homer, a triple and got a base hit, which was a good showing. It felt natural to me, being there with all the big players. The adrenalin, the roar of the crowd, it felt like second nature.

Like I was supposed to be there.

We were tied going into the ninth. Bases were loaded and I was up again. I imagined Cami at home watching. Then I cleared my head, put the bat on my shoulder and flipped the switch.

CRACK

I felt the bat splinter in my hands as the ball connected, sailing up and over the field in a perfect arc. It went over the wall and kept going, flying into the nosebleed section.

Hell, by then I had stopped looking. I was grinning ear to ear as I rounded the bases behind my teamates. I'd just clinched the first game of the season for the team.

This time, even K-Roll gave me a high five as I came into the dugout.

The next hour was a blur as I was surrounded by press, teamates and well-wishers. Coach pulled me aside and said 'good job' and nothing else. I gave a few brief interviews. The locker room was madness, with the guys popping bottles left and right. But I was looking for Mr. Rivers.

He was there, shaking hands and clapping shoulders. He waved me over and said the words I wanted to hear.

"I know where she is son. And it's only a two and a half hour ride."

"Where?"

"Our beach house in South Hampton. I should have predicted that she'd go there. That's where she felt closest to her mother. They had a lot of good Summers out there."

I nodded, already figuring out how to get there. I'd call a car. I had the rings in my jacket already. I was set.

"Take my limo. Just make sure to be back for the game in two days."

"Thanks Mr. Rivers."

"Please, call me Harrison."

I shook his hand firmly and nodded. We understood each other. I looked forward to calling him my father-in-law. I'd even asked his permission.

Not that I was going to take no for an answer, but it was the polite thing to do.

I did my best to navigate around the locker room, showering and changing in record time. I was fairly certain that a few reporters saw my bare backside but I could have cared less.

Besides, I knew I had a nice ass.

Then I was outside and heading northeast towards Southampton.

It was time to get my woman.

Camille

I had cheered out loud during that last hit, almost rising out of my seat. Cade was unstoppable tonight. I wasn't surprised he had made such a big splash. My father had been right to pay up for him, untested or not. He had arms of steel.

By tomorrow, everyone on Earth would know his name.

I rubbed my belly and wondered if our unborn child would have his talent with sports or mine with numbers. If they would be as arrogant as their father. I almost hoped so.

I definitely hoped they had his way with words.

I sighed, leaning back on the window seat I was curled up in. I had a cup of tea beside me. Something called rooibos that was supposed to be good for the baby. I was surrounded by the baby books I'd picked up on the ride out. I had a lot to learn but I was determined to do everything right.

I wasn't scared though. I knew I was going to take good care of this baby no matter what. At the moment I was warm and fed and sleepy.

I wasn't scared anymore.

I was hopeful.

Uzuri was stretched out beside me. I scratched behind her ears and was rewarded with a purr so loud it made the window rattle. That was my girl.
 

She never did anything in half measures.

"He did good tonight didn't he?"

She lazily closed her eyes, blinking at me. Her tail curled around my wrist. I smiled.

"We'll see what he has to say for himself tomorrow, yes?"

I shut my book and let myself doze. It was pitch dark out when I woke up. At first I didn't know where I was. I had a moment of panic, before I remembered.

Cade. The groupies. Flying home. Then the test and driving out here.

The beach. My tears. The game.

Falling asleep in the window seat in my bedroom.

I was about to stand up when I heard it. A furtive rustling in the bushes outside. Too big to be an animal.

I stared out my bedroom window. The staff had gone for the day. It might be a deer…

The rustling came again. Definitely not a deer. And we didn't get bears in this part of the Hamptons.

Someone was outside.

I felt my heart beating as I reached for my phone. I was about to dial 911 when I heard the familiar voice outside, hissing in a loud stage whisper.

"Camille!"

Cade. It was Cade. He'd found me. And driven out here in the middle of the night apparently. I almost laughed. Instead I rolled my eyes.

"For the love of God…"

I gave Uzuri a look while she cleaned herself. She glanced at me in her sleepy eyed way as if to say 'what did you expect from a man?'

I stood up and tightened my bathrobe. Then I opened the window.

"Go to the front door."

I slipped my feet into my fluffy bunny slippers and shuffled downstairs.

I was wide-awake by the time I opened the door. I realized I must look a mess with puffy eyes and messy hair. I doubted he'd ever seen me like this.

But at the moment I didn't care.

I just wanted to hear what he had to say for himself.

"Camille…"

His face was so sweet as he took me in, his eyes eating me up. Almost like he thought pajamas and fuzzy slippers were the sexiest thing in the world.

"Come in Cade."

I stood back to let him in and closed the door behind him, flipping the lock. I led him into the living room and sat down, crossing my arms over my chest. I was still mad at him. And I definitely didn't want him to see how much I'd missed him.

Not yet anyway.

"You know, there are snakes out there. And spiders. You shouldn't be sneaking around like that."

He shrugged, clearly not concerned by the creepy crawlies.

"I was trying to break in."

I choked back a laugh. He was unapologetic, I had to give him that.

"Why?"

"You ran off on me Camille! What the hell was I supposed to do?"

I raised an eyebrow. It was now or never. Time to call his bluff.

"Let me go. You have plenty of other women to fill my shoes."

His jaw literally dropped. I had to admit, that was gratifying.

"No, I don't."

I sighed. This was the hard part. We might as well get it over with. Then I'd decide whether or not to tell him about the baby tonight or make him wait.

Whether he deserved to know or not.

I'd have to tell him eventually of course. But if he wasn't going to be in
my
life, he could wait until the baby was born to be in the its life. I'd have a nanny do the pass off if he wanted to have visits.

I would not put myself through the torment of seeing him week after week, year after year.

"Cade. I heard them talking about you. They were comparing notes."

"You heard- what?"

He looked confused. Maybe he didn't realize that women kissed and told the way men did. Actually, some women were worse.

I'd certainly told my hair stylist some secrets over the years. Phillipe loved hearing dirty little secrets. But this wasn't light gossip. This was my life.

"The groupies outside the field. They said at least one had slept with you just the other night."

He stared at me. He looked shocked. He looked stupefied.

"Wait. You're… jealous?"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Absolutely not. I just do not want to be made a fool of. I don't believe in cheating."

He started to grin.

"You're jealous! Cami, you had me worried. I thought you had run off with that slimy fellow we met at the club."

"Jason?"

He slapped his knee.

"I thought I lost you but you were just jealous! If that don't beat all."

He stopped smiling and leaned forward. He shook his finger at me like I was a bad little girl. It was ridiculous! What was he so happy about?

"If you ever do that to me again woman, you won't be able to sit down for a week."

I stood up and backed away from him.

"Cade, I did not say I was okay with you sleeping around like that. I gave you your freedom. Go- enjoy it!"

I made a waving gesture with my hand. He reached out and grabbed at me but I skipped out of his reach. He growled and kept coming.

"I don't want my damn freedom. I want you."

He advanced on me, until I was backed up to the stairs.

"Cade-"

"You listen to me Cami. I haven't slept with anyone since the moment I laid eyes on you woman!"

He tilted his head to the side, looking at the ceiling.

"Before that actually. It's been awhile. It's hard to get laid on a rig. Even for me. I was pretty pent up to be honest."

He grinned at me wolfishly.

"Or couldn't you tell?"