Goddess Revenge: Goddess Series Book 4 (Young Adult / New Adult) (21 page)

River pulled away and looked at her intently. “Like what?”

She shrugged. “A lot has happened, and we need to clear the air.”

River nodded slowly while he searched her eyes. She wasn’t giving anything away. She didn’t want to lead him on anymore, but she didn’t want to hurt him either.

“Should I be worried?” he whispered.

She felt her eyes water. “I am.” Again, she felt surprised at how uttering the truth made her feel.

“Er.” River shook his head. “Let’s not worry right now. We’ll worry together when I get back.”

She smiled halfheartedly. “Okay.”

He stared at her for a long moment, reading her expression, probably feeling her energy. Then he leaned his head toward hers. “Can I kiss you goodbye?” he asked softly.

Why did he ask? He was already preparing himself for the worst. He was her best friend, so he knew her better than most people. He knew the coming conversation would be the end of their romantic endeavor—he just didn’t understand why. She smiled and nodded.

He leaned down and gently kissed her, but she started to cry. From guilt? From some other emotion she didn’t want to embrace? She wasn’t sure, but he pulled away and kissed her forehead. “Shhh. I can’t leave if you’re upset. It’s all right. We’ll talk when I get back.”

She nodded, wiping her tears. “Stay safe.”

“You too,” he whispered as he kissed her forehead again.

After watching River leave, she stood on the porch in the cold. All she could do was cry softly and shake her head at the mess she’d made. When she went back inside, she heard Lissa say something, but she shrugged her off. She wasn’t in any mood to talk. She went into her bedroom and stared out her window, looking at the winter clouds in the sky, thinking about the men she loved. She’d pushed Adin away physically to keep him alive and pushed River away emotionally to punish him. Neither effort worked. As she continued to think about the mess that was her life, she heard a knock on her door. She figured Lissa was determined to talk about whatever she’d tried to discuss with her downstairs, which she was pretty sure it was about this silly scheme she had devised to punish River.

“Come in,” Legacy said, still looking out the window, wiping her eyes.

Her door opened and shut, and she heard footsteps coming toward her.

Without turning around, she sighed. “You’re right. I’m making a mess of things. I shouldn’t have tried to get back at River for what he did to me.”

“What did he do to you?” the person asked, and it wasn’t Lissa.

She gasped as she turned around. “Adin?” She shook her head.
Oh, crap
! She stared at him, freaking out about what she just said to him, but as she stared, she could feel the elation building within, her heart swelling. She hadn’t seen him in weeks. It took every ounce of her strength not to run into his arms. “Er, when did you get back?” she asked.

Adin walked toward her slowly, his gazed locked onto hers. “Today… What were you talking about, Legacy?”

“Adin, ummm, I-I can’t really talk about that,” she stammered, wiping her face and turning back around. She had to contain her excitement about seeing him and figure out how to deal with what he heard her say.

“Sweetheart?” Adin said as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. For the love of all that was holy, it felt so good. Her knees buckled slightly. She missed his touch more than she ever thought possible. “Talk to me. I figured you were up to something, and you just confirmed it.”

There was no way on earth she could tell Adin what River had done. She had to think of something to say and fast! “Adin,” she breathed, shaking her head and stepping away from him. “What are you doing here?”

The pain that crossed his eyes was heart-wrenching. “Friends visit each other, Legacy.” He stepped closer to her. “Now tell me what’s going on with River.”

She stared at Adin, trying to figure out what she could tell him without having to lie about anything. She realized she couldn’t. “No.”

“Why not?” he asked, stepping even closer.

“Because it doesn’t concern you.”
Crap
! There went her hope she wouldn’t have to lie. It did so concern him.

“You concern me,” he whispered.

“I know, but I don’t want you involved with this. You’re too involved as it is.”

“Legacy, stop trying to push me away. I love you. I
love
you! I can’t sit by and watch you wreck our lives.”

“I’m trying to save your life, Adin. Why won’t you let me? Please just let me,” she begged, fighting the tears, the lump in her throat.

Adin took a deep breath while he stared at her as if he were looking into her soul. Could he see she was dangling on the edge? “Sweetheart, stop. Just stop,” he breathed, taking the final step toward her and putting his arms around her again. “Whatever you’re doing, it’s not worth it. River has obviously done something to make you want to get back at him, and it’s upsetting you. You have too much to deal with as it is.”

“You don’t understand,” she whispered against his chest.

“Help me understand.”

“I can’t.” She pulled away from him and walked over to her bed, sitting down. She needed the distance so she could think.

But he followed and sat beside her. “I wish there was something I could say or do to make you understand you don’t have to go through all this alone.”

Gods, this was too hard. Her breathing hitched, and she started to cry.

“Sweetheart, please.”

She shook her head, and he didn’t press it any further. He just held her, gently rubbing her back until her crying slowed.

“I-I’ve missed you so much,” she whimpered. She couldn’t deny this.

“Oh, God, how I’ve missed you,” Adin said on an exhale. He gently stroked her cheeks while his breathing accelerated. “Legacy,” he murmured, leaning his face toward hers and then rubbing his nose against hers. He slowly nudged his lips along hers, but she eased back an inch to keep him from kissing her. She knew it was a bad idea to kiss him, but she really didn’t want to be away from him. An inch was all she could muster.

He wasn’t having that. He slid his hands around the back of her head and tugged her back against him. Completely.

Their lips touched for a second, and she surprisingly found the willpower to resist, standing up before the kiss could even start. “Don’t,” she whispered.

He sighed, and she hated pushing him away.

“Is your reluctance because of River?” he asked, looking down.

She shook her head, furrowing her brow.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on with him?” It was a question, but it was laced with his frustration, almost sounding like a demand.

What was she going to say to him? She knew she couldn’t tell Adin everything. It had taken her over a month to find forgiveness in her heart for River, and he was her best friend. Adin couldn’t stand River. She doubted he’d ever forgive him for what he’d done to them. But she loved Adin, and she wanted to be honest with him—as much as she could. There really was no reason not to since she’d already decided to put an end to River’s torment—and hers where he was concerned.

“I can tell you some,” she qualified. “You already know I was planning on spending more time with him. I needed him to think I was falling for him.”

He shook his head. “Why?”

“I can’t tell you why, except that he betrayed my trust.”

“But when I walked in here, you said something about not wanting to do this revenge thing, so you think it was a mistake?”

“Yeah, it
was
a mistake. I made a real mess of things. At the time, I felt like River deserved what I was doing, but now I feel like such a horrible person, not only for playing him, but for wanting to.”

“You’re not a horrible person, Legacy.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t know everything.” But that was good. If he did know everything, he probably would think her scheme wasn’t severe enough punishment for River. Not to mention the feelings—her feelings for River—that bubbled to the surface.

“I wish you’d just tell me everything, sweetheart. I know I don’t have to tell you how much I absolutely hate not knowing what’s going on.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It does make me feel a little better that you know I really didn’t want to be with River.”

“But you’re bonded to him, Legacy. Spending time with him like that could have strengthened that bond.”

It had. She knew it had.

She groaned, shaking her head. She didn’t want to talk or even think about what she put River through—or what it did to her. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over now. As soon as he gets back, I’m coming clean about everything.”

“So,” Adin said, standing up, “where does that leave us?”

She shut her eyes. She couldn’t look at him. “Nothing’s changed between us. We can only be friends.” Just saying the words felt monumentally unfair. Even accepting the feelings she had for River, she still wanted to be with Adin.

He stepped up to her and hugged her, putting his lips to her ear. “I’ll try to give you want you want. For now. But, Legacy…” He squeezed his arms tighter. “I’m not going to keep giving in to this silly demand. You’ll be ascending soon, and if by some miracle I manage to keep our relationship on a friendly level until then, I won’t be keeping it at the friendship level after you ascend.”

His hot breath sent a shiver through her, and he squeezed her even tighter.

“I-I, umm, let’s cross that bridge when we come it to,” she muttered.

“We may be crossing that bridge sooner than you think,” he said so smoothly that she actually believed him for a split second.

But he didn’t press it anymore. He simply pulled away and kissed her forehead before leaving.

She didn’t know if she could go another five months before being with him again. That felt like an eternity. But if he thought they’d be crossing that bridge sooner, then he believed they’d be together again before she ascended.

The thought of that thrilled her.

The thought of that scared her.

It thrilled her because she still believed Adin was her soul mate. There was no doubt in her mind about that.

But if they were together, what would it cost him?

Chapter Sixteen

Legacy awoke on New Year’s Eve having been engrossed in the same dream she’d been having of late.

She sat in a field, meditating under a vibrant sky. As she meditated, clouds rolled in, and she heard her mother’s voice. “Watch out, for he lies. Evil lies inside the good,” she said softly. “He’s setting you up, and you’re falling for it.”

Yes, it was the same dream, but there was a little more added. She wondered if it was time to talk to someone about it, but that thought slowly dissipated as she thought about seeing Adin yesterday. She found herself spending the entire day thinking about the possibility of a future with Adin, trying not to get her hopes up.

Lissa had a New Year Eve’s party at work, and Olive tagged along. They’d tried to get her to join them, but she didn’t like the idea of celebrating the evening without the man she wanted to spend her life with. She’d rather shower and turn in early. That was her plan. Her lonely, pathetic plan.

When she got out of the shower, she put on the Victoria’s Secret nightshirt she’d gotten for Christmas from Olive—it was a very short, very low-cut number she wouldn’t have considered buying for herself, but once she put it on, she really liked it.

Now that she was giving up this ridiculous scheme against River, she had nothing to distract her from the love—and agony—she felt for Adin. As she thought about him, she put on her watch and her new earrings. She couldn’t be with Adin tonight in reality, but she could be in spirit. Once she was ready for bed, she turned on the Time Square celebration and crawled under the covers. She wasn’t sure if she could stay awake until the ball dropped at midnight, but she was prepared to give it a try.

About fifteen minutes to midnight, she heard a knock on her bedroom door. No way had Lissa and Olive come back home before midnight. What would be the point in going out and celebrating New Year’s if they didn’t actually celebrate the start of the New Year?

Legacy got up and opened the door, standing behind it to shield her bare legs and cleavage from the view of the person on the other side. Her heart fluttered frantically when she saw Adin standing before her. He was in his pajama bottoms and a cotton shirt.

“Hi, I, er, knocked on the front door, but you didn’t answer.”

“Oh. Um, what are you doing here?” she asked staying behind the door. She should’ve put on a robe.

“I was at my grandma’s house—alone—and I figured you were home—alone—so I thought I’d come over and ring in the New Year with you.”

She loved this idea, but she needed to stay focused. She shouldn’t be alone with Adin like this. But it was just fifteen minutes. They could visit for fifteen minutes. She’d only seen him briefly when he returned, and before then, he was gone for weeks. “Okay.”

She stepped back, staying behind the door as she opened it for him to enter. Adin walked in and headed to the bed while she shut the door. When she turned around to walk toward the him, he turned to face her. He took in a huge breath as his jaw dropped. Then his eyes shut, body rigid.

“Oh my God,” he said as he exhaled heavily.

She walked over to the bed, trying to ignore his reaction to her skimpy attire without looking at him, but when she pulled the covers back, she saw his eyes on her again.

She causally got under the covers, and Adin sat, a little awkwardly, on top of them beside her. They sat in silence for several seconds while the heat in the room soared. It was the middle of winter, and she felt like she was about to break into a sweat!

As the electricity pulsed between them, she struggled for something to talk about. She wanted to look at him and talk to him, but she had no idea what to say. It seemed as if Adin grappled with what to say, too, as they both stared at the TV. But she wasn’t watching it.

After several minutes, Adin finally broke the silence. “So…do you have any New Year’s resolutions?”

She looked over at him, and his eyes locked onto hers. “No. Um, I guess making sure I ascend.” She shrugged. “You?”