Goddess Revenge: Goddess Series Book 4 (Young Adult / New Adult) (20 page)

He threw his head back, groaning, squeezing her waist painfully. She gave him a few seconds to get his composure.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

He nodded, not looking at her.

She got off him, and he hunched over, elbows on his knees, head hanging down. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to hurt me,” he mumbled.

She was. “It’s over now,” she said, walking over to the pool table. She rolled a ball back and forth along the felt. Then she heard River stand and walk up to her back.

He rubbed her shoulders briefly. “Was it helpful?”

She nodded, still not looking at him. “Was it helpful for you?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “As much as I hated it, I don’t think I’ll be as quick to push you away next time.”

“Good,” she whispered.

River slid his hand down her arm, took her hand into his, and walked off, pulling her with him.

“Where are we going?” she asked. She knew he wanted to kiss her his way now, so she was a little worried about blindly agreeing to that request.

But she was wrong. This wasn’t about the kiss.

River turned to look at her. “I’ve been lying to you, and it’s time I came clean.”

The urge to protect herself had never been any greater.

Chapter Fifteen

Was River about to confess he brought Venus into Adin’s life? Was he about to confess to some other lie that her dream was warning her about?

“Come clean about what?” she asked shakily. Why was she nervous?

“I-I have to show you something.”

River guided her in silence. He walked up the flight of stairs, but didn’t stop at his bedroom. He kept walking until he came up to a door. He sighed, and she could feel his hand trembling as it clung to hers. He opened the door, pulled her in, turned on the light, and shut the door behind them.

“This is my real bedroom,” he whispered.

Her head turned to his. “Real?”

“You already know this is my house. Do you think I’d sleep in a room that wasn’t the master bedroom?” He wanted to chuckle, but he seemed scared telling her this.

“Why do you have that other room then?” She didn’t know what to think about this revelation. She needed to get her thoughts together. He wasn’t confessing to a lie she wanted him to admit to.

“Because I have to uphold the pretense,” he said, walking over to the radio and turning it on, but keeping it low. “Only my family knows. I didn’t like lying to you about…my room. I mean, I know it’s nobody’s business whose house this really is, but I didn’t like lying to you about where I sleep. I’ve been in yours, and you thought you’d been in mine. I know when you came over here that time during the fall when I was upset, you found me in that other room.” He walked over to his bed and sat down, playing with his hands. “I was upset about the idea of you and Adin having sex, so I went into that other room. I guess I didn’t want to be a crying bitch in my real bedroom. I thought I could go in there and cry about it and be able to put it behind me when I walked back out, but you showed up.”

She stared at him. Speechless.

“Then when you gave me that photo for my birthday…shit, Legacy, I almost brought you here.” Shaking his head, he said, “I keep the picture of you right here.” He pointed to his empty nightstand. “I put it in the other room in the mornings in case someone comes over, and I bring it back in here at night.”

She walked over to the bed and sat beside him. “Wow,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” he said, taking her hand.

“You didn’t lie to me. If this is your house, they’re all your rooms.” She laughed.

River chuckled. “I guess that’s true.”

She stood up and walked around the room, taking in the huge sitting area, fireplace, flat screen TV, and modern décor. She turned around and glanced at him. “A room fit for a god,” she said, amused.

He laughed while she walked back over to him. As she looked at his face, she saw the man she missed. Her best friend. They hadn’t spent time together just being friends in awhile. With a glint in her eye, she kicked off her shoes, eased back onto his bed, and folded her legs in front of her. “So what made you decide on this house?”

He smiled as he toed off his shoes and settled onto the bed beside her. “My mom picked it out,” he said, a little disgusted.

“Of course. Calli lives next door. She knew I was best friends with her.”

“Exactly.”

She and River spent the next hour talking about things neither of them felt comfortable talking about to other people. It was nice being with him like this. Their conversations followed naturally from one topic to another. When they drifted onto the topic of their abilities, her brain churned.

“How do other people’s energies feel to you? What do they look like?” she asked.

“Hmm…well, everyone feels the same, in a way. If someone’s happy, he or she’ll put off a happy vibe. The vibes are the same and the colors are the same—the people feeling the emotions are different, but I noticed each person has a unique base color to his aura.”

“Really? What does mine look like?”

River focused his eyes on her, but his gazed seemed to look through her. Softly, he said, “A swirl of blues and greens.” He blinked, looking at her more naturally. “Like your eyes.”

“Have you seen any aura that looked—I don’t know—unique to you?”

“Um, yeah.” He nodded with a small smile. “Calli’s.”

“Really?” she said with a laugh. “What does hers look like?”

“It’s really hard to explain. It’s a combination of pastels and metallics, mattes and sparkles. It’s really very beautiful.”

She laughed. “Oh my gosh, if she knew, she’d flip. You know she had a crush on you when we all first met.”

River nodded through a short burst of laughter. “I know.”

“Er, I probably shouldn’t have just said that,” she said, wincing playfully. “She’d kill me if she knew I ever told you.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” he said softly. “Besides, I’ve told you I don’t like to focus on the colors of auras because they’re just a bunch of colors. I like feeling energies. If I’d spent more time focusing on the colors, I probably would’ve seen a lot of unique ones by now.”

“You have point,” she said with a smile. Then she thought of a much juicier topic. “So,” she said, looking away because she started to blush. “Have you ever…you know?” Her eyes flashed suggestively to his.

He gasped and started to laugh. Then he squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh no,” he mumbled through a groan, but it sounded like he was talking to himself and not answering her question, though his reluctance was answer enough.

“River?” she asked, dragging his name out slowly with a huge grin on her face.

He sighed, opened his eyes, and nodded one short nod.

She started laughing. “You know you have to spill.”

“Legacy,” he groaned, leaning back against his bed, covering his face, chuckling in disbelief that she’d broached the topic of sex.

She scooted closer to him. “Tell me, tell me, tell me!”

He slid his hands down and looked at her with a smile. “Her name was Anna.” He took a deep breath. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” he mumbled.

“Go on,” she said with a smile.

“Okay. Her name was Anna. I dated her last summer. We met in Greece when I was visiting my father and her family was on vacation.”

“She didn’t live in Greece?”

“Um, yeah, she lived there, but she was vacationing when we met.”

“So how did
it
happen?”

River looked at her bewildered. “What do you mean
how
? It just happened.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh my word. You’re not any good at girl talk.”

River laughed. “Thank the gods!”

She shook her head at him, but laughed too.

River looked at her speculatively, moving closer so that they were sitting side-by-side. “What about you?”

She stared at him briefly, letting him sweat her answer. Then she half-smiled. “No. I’m a virgin.”

He sighed, looking away, trying to fight the smile that wanted to form on his face, and she knew it wasn’t so much because of the verification of her innocence, but because that verification meant she hadn’t lost her virginity to Adin. Then he looked over at her. “That’s good. I mean, you should wait until you’re ready.”

She nodded. What could she say to that? She had been ready.

Noticing the slight change in her demeanor—or maybe her energy—he asked, “Did you want to sleep with Adin?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” she asked with a smile.

“Yes. No.” He shook his head, then sighed. “Yes.”

She nodded. “Yes. We, er, got close on a few occasions, but Adin was worried it wouldn’t be about the two of us, so he wanted to wait until our bonds wouldn’t factor in with our decision to be intimate.”

“What do you mean?” River asked, leaning toward me.

“He’s bonded to Venus. I’m bonded to you. We fought a lot in the beginning about how those bonds made us feel. He was worried if we ended up having sex without having a handle on our other bonds, we’d be trying to prove that the other people didn’t matter. We both knew that they did, so there was always the chance that sex could be used as a tool to foolishly prove that we were not affected by our other bonds, which could lead to regret. He didn’t want to take the chance of me regretting that experience with him.”

“Oh.” River watched her carefully for several seconds while they sat in silence. “How
do
you feel about me, Legacy?”

Out of that long explanation, of course he’d pick up the part that was about him. She looked into his shiny green eyes while he waited for her answer. What should she tell him? What could she tell him? Sitting here with him, like this—like they were best friends again—she wanted to be honest with him, so she settled on the truth.

But in order for her to do that, she had to be honest with herself first. She allowed herself to open up the bottled feelings she had for him and embrace them for the very first time. She felt her heart pounding as she thought about how she really felt about him.

I love him.

But even as she thought about how she truly felt, a new fear crept in. She was in love with him. But he wasn’t the only man she was in love with. She didn’t understand how she could love two men. She couldn’t think about that right now, though, because she needed to stay focused on River.

She still wanted to be truthful with him, so she was. Painfully truthful. “I think you already know. I’m just not ready to say the words,” she whispered.

He took in a breath, reaching for her face. “
Legacy,
” he breathed.

Her eyes shut at his touch. He gently stroked her face as his forehead rested against hers. She felt his breath hitting her skin as he kissed her temple, her cheek, her lips. He kissed her softly, slowly wrapping his arms around her. She clung to him as she kissed him back.

She didn’t think about this being wrong. She didn’t think about wanting to be with Adin more than she wanted to be with River. She enjoyed the kiss, not because she knew she had to in order to keep her energy from pushing him away like she said she would after his three attempts, but because she wanted to enjoy it.

For them. For the love they shared.

As they kissed, she knew she couldn’t hate him anymore. Her heart wouldn’t allow the hatred she felt for him back in.

He was forgiven.

* * * * *

Legacy spent the rest of the weekend contemplating this ridiculous scheme she’d set into motion as punishment, payback, vengeance for what River had done. She couldn’t feel the hatred, the betrayal of her best friend anymore. He was forgiven, so she decided it was time to officially end her revenge. It was almost New Year’s, and she didn’t want to start the New Year carrying this weight on her shoulders.

She remembered first feeling her bond for River when she was in the hospital. She realized she was fighting it then, and she knew she would have to continue fighting it now. She was in love with him, but she didn’t want to be. When she thought about the love she had for Adin, her feelings for River seemed to pale in comparison. She didn’t know how to explain it. She didn’t feel about River how she felt about Adin, but there was something there.

And because of that, she had to come clean with him. Tell him that she knew what he’d done to her. Tell him that she’d been playing him.

She talked to Calli about her intentions, and she was thrilled. Her BFF hated this plan all along and had tried to help her see the light. She felt foolish that it had taken her this long to let go of the anger she felt toward River.

He was coming over this afternoon, so she spent the morning going over the conversation in her head. She wanted to find the right way to express the emotions she felt for what he did to her and what he put her though. If they got everything out, then they could start to put it behind them.

While she was thinking about the mess she’d made of things, she heard a knock on the front door. She knew Lissa was down there, so she stayed in her bedroom.

“Legacy?” Lissa called.

She came downstairs and saw River standing in the foyer. Crap! She needed more time to practice her speech.

“Hey. I thought you were coming over later.”

“I’m so sorry, Legacy. My mom is taking me out of town to visit family for New Year’s. She just told me. We’re leaving today,” he said, shaking his head.

“Oh, well, that’s okay.” She felt a little relieved at this stay of execution.

He stepped up to her and rubbed his hand down her arm. “I can’t stay. I have to go pack.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

She walked with River to his car, holding his hand. When they stood by the driver’s side, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “I’m only going to be gone a few days, but I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” It surprised her how true this felt, though she didn’t know why she felt surprised. She figured she just wasn’t used to embracing her feelings for him.

He leaned back and kissed her forehead.

“Um, River, when you get back, there are some things we need to discuss.” She figured she should tell him this, so she didn’t chicken out when he got back.