God's Gift (11 page)

“Can I ask one more guy question?”

Rae hesitated. “Sure.”

“James is a serious kind of guy, Rae. He isn’t the type to date casually. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I don’t want you to get hurt,” Lace said softly.

“Lace, I’m scared to death that this is a mistake, but I said yes. I guess I’m going to find out.”

“This house has the space you were looking for, James. And the yard. It needs work, but the structure is sound and the price is certainly right. I think you ought to buy it,” Kevin concluded, standing on the drive and looking over the property again.

They had already been down in the crawl space, up in
the attic, on the roof, done a detailed inspection. It was a good property.

“I’ll think about it overnight, but I agree. This is the place.” James looked over the house. His transition to the States was going to feel so finished the moment he bought a house. He would be settled here for the long-term. “You said the schools in the area are good?”

Kevin raised a single eyebrow at the question, but replied, “Excellent.”

James nodded. He would be raising a family here, knowing about the schools was an important factor. The house had the room he would need to set up an office, let him resume work as an architect in a consulting capacity with Kevin. It had room for his wife to have a large office, and still leave bedrooms for children. There were some structural changes to be made—two walls would go when he remodeled—but it was a house with possibilities.

The yard needed work, but there was almost an acre of land. Plenty of room for kids to play.

What do You think, God? Is this the place to settle down and make a new start? It’s certainly a wonderful place with great potential.

“You thinking about settling down in more ways than just buying a house?” Kevin asked.

James weighed how to answer. “Possibly,” he hedged. He needed to get this bug back under control, work the pain out of his system again. He had done it once, he could do it again. He had been thinking a lot about a lady with twinkling blue eyes.

Kevin smiled. “Wonderful idea. I would act on it.”

“I’m thinking about it,” James replied, smiling.

She should have chosen a different dress. Rae turned one way and the next, trying to decide if this was really an acceptable choice. It was a beautiful dress. But she had bought it to wear to a concert with Leo. They had never gone, but still, it was a dress that had some history.

God, what do You think?

She had never been so nervous about a night in her life. At work it had been difficult, if not impossible to concentrate. The whole office had seemed to know that something was up.

God, I hope Your sense of humor holds. I’m probably going to need You to pull my foot out of my mouth a few times tonight.

She was blowing this out of proportion. It was a date, yes, but that was all it was. She needed to relax, quickly.

The doorbell rang, the chimes sounding throughout the house, and her muscles tensed. She forced them to relax.

She descended the steps, moved to the front door.

He stood in the doorway, relaxed and comfortable in dress slacks and a tailored shirt. “Hi.”

It was the soft greeting, the relaxed way he smiled, that made her relax and smile back. “Hi, James.”

“You look very nice tonight.”

She blushed slightly, looked at the dress. “Thank you.”

“Dave said roses and Lace said orchids, but I decided on something more unique.” He picked up a bouquet of wild-flowers from the rail. The flowers were delicate, fragile, the bouquet a riot of color.

She accepted them, touched by the thought and the attention he had paid to the detail. Every color of a rainbow was present. “They are lovely, James.”

“They are flowers whose beauty will eventually fade, your beauty won’t.”

Flowers she had expected…the compliment she had not. “James…”

He grinned. “It took two days to come up with the line, but I haven’t had much practice in the last six years. My delivery still needs a little practice.”

She leaned against the doorjamb, grinned. “Oh, I don’t know. You did pretty well.”

He reached out and touched her hand. “Go find a vase for the flowers and let’s get this night underway.”

She joined him a few moments later, carrying a lace wrap should the night turn cool.

He locked the front door for her.

Rae walked with him down the drive, liking the attention as his hand touched the small of her back, the fact he matched his pace to hers. “Can I ask one question, if I then promise to drop the subject for the night?”

He opened the car door for her, smiled. “Somehow I think I would prefer to have you ask it now, than have this question in your mind for the evening,” he replied. He walked around the car, slipped behind the wheel, turned the key in the ignition. When the car was running, he rested his hands across the steering wheel and turned toward her. “What’s your question, Rae?”

“How bad is the pain today?”

He nodded, conceding it was a good question. “On a scale of one to ten, one being so bad I don’t want to move, ten being I no longer notice any symptoms, today is about a six.”

He pulled out of the drive and headed toward the restaurant. “Can I ask one question, if I promise to stay off the subject for the rest of the evening?”

Rae hesitated before nodding. “I suppose fair says you get at least one.”

He chuckled. “Tell me about work.”

“That’s a complex question. Anything specific you would like to know?” she asked, looking at him. She saw him nod.

“Do you still like your job?”

Rae leaned her head back against the headrest. “I love the challenge. I love the fact I am good at turning data into a concrete conclusion. There are times I even think I may learn to like the trading. But I hate the hours. There has been no time for the book lately, and I really hate that.”

“Tonight is taking time away that you could be using to write.”

Rae was grateful that he understood the cost she had paid when she said yes. “Yes. But I don’t regret my choice.”

“I’ll make the night worth it.”

Rae smiled. “It already is.”

They arrived at the restaurant.

Rae took her time looking over the menu. “Do you think baked trout would be safe?”

He grinned. “I would say that is a good choice.”

Rae liked the evening with him, sharing a meal. He told her stories about Africa, stories from the days working with Kevin building their business. He made her laugh and it made the stress of the workday fade.

They lingered at the restaurant for almost two hours, enjoying the chance to talk together. When James finally suggested they should consider leaving, she agreed, knowing she needed to call it a night before it got much later, but regretting the ending of a wonderful evening.

“Would you like to see someplace special?” James asked her as she fastened her seat belt.

She looked over at him, surprised. “Sure.”

He nodded. “It’s not far.”

He took them to an established neighborhood a couple miles from her own home, where the trees were ancient and the houses set back on large plots of land. He drew to a stop in front of a two-story house, put the car in park.

Rae looked around with interest.

“My new place,” James said quietly.

She turned to look at him. “Really?” He had bought a house? She looked back at the place. He had bought a place. A deep spot of uncertainty inside her dissolved. She had been afraid he might end up settling in a different city, with a different job. He had bought a house. This was good.

He smiled at her surprise. “Come on, I’ll show it to you,” he offered, turning off the engine.

Rae slipped out of the car.

It was a beautiful home. James had arranged to have the key and he opened the front door for her, gave her a guided tour, pointing out the structural changes he planned to make. Rae wandered around behind him, enjoying listening to James in his element, the house having replaced his discouragement with something positive.

They walked back to the car, James quiet and Rae enjoying the beautiful night.

It was eleven o’clock when James escorted her up the walk to her own front door. “I’m sorry I made it such a late night for you.”

Rae leaned against the doorpost, not entirely ready to say good-night yet. “I’m not. I had a good time, James.”

He rocked back on his heels, smiling. “So did I. Would you like to do it again?”

Rae considered the offer. “Would you like to come over for a movie Thursday night?”

He smiled at her. “You go to sleep with a movie.”

“Only with guys I like.”

He grinned. “What do you say I pick out the movie?”

“I like this plan.”

“Say eight o’clock again? I’ll bring dinner?”

“Deal.” She smiled and reached forward, touched his hand. “Thank you, James.”

His hand turned over and gently grasped hers. “Have a good night, Rae.”

T
he ground was soft; it had rained during the night. Rae’s heels sank into the grass as she crossed the landscaped grounds.

“Hi, Leo.” She carefully settled on the bench near his headstone. “I’ve missed you.”

It was a weekday morning, at an hour she should have been at the office. Instead she was at a cemetery, her beeper on, her cellular phone in her purse, trying to shake off the effects of a rough night of no sleep.

“I’m scared, Leo, and I don’t know why.”

The dreams had been nice, at first. She had been with James, she had been happy, she had been in the house she had visited, but the dreams had always ended with her being abandoned.

She sighed, and looked over the grounds, looked up at the beautiful sky. There were no answers to find here. She had thought the dreams reflected what she was still feeling
from Leo’s death, but she had been wrong. It was peaceful here today; there was sadness, but the grief was gone.

The grief had moved on without her realizing it.

The trip here had been worth that much at least. It was an hour’s drive. She rarely came, instinctively knowing it was better to let the memories fade.

The troubled sleep did not originate from here.

The car ride back to the office was made with her thoughts deep in options. To think ahead for months at a time, to consider options, was part of both her personality and her training. She had some serious issues to resolve.

She was dating James. It had been one date so far, but he was buying a house nearby. Lace had read him right, he was not a man to date casually. The next several months were going to see a relationship being developed. Did she want that?

Yes. She had made that decision the night she had agreed to the first date.

A relationship meant time.

She still had a book to write. That book mattered to her, more than any of her friends understood.

No matter which way she laid out her schedule, she simply did not have enough time to do her job, write a book, and get to know James. Something simply had to give.

The job.

She had to find a partner. She had to. It was that, or sell the business.

James was early.

Rae descended the steps quickly, paused at the bottom of the stairs, took a few deep breaths, trying to make her
anticipation less obvious. She flipped the locks on the door.

“Hi.” She was past the point of being nervous. She had missed him.

“Hi, lady.”

His smile made her feel so good inside.

She held the door for him as he had his hands full. Something smelled wonderful.

“Mom was making Italian, so I brought us homemade ravioli.”

Rae settled her hand on his arm and liked the strength she felt. She looked into the sack. “Cheesecake?”

“Homemade, too.”

“You can bring dinner over whenever you would like.”

He laughed. “Come on, let’s eat while it’s still hot.”

Rae had struggled with how to set the table. She had wanted it to look nice, but not overly romantic. It was dinner and a movie. She had compromised with elegant place mats and her bouquet of flowers as the centerpiece.

James unpacked the sack. Salad, strawberries, ravioli, homemade rolls, cheesecake.

James told her about progress on the house purchase as they ate, and Rae told him about her day, glossing over the stress. It was a comfortable conversation, but it was impersonal, leaving Rae feeling slightly discontent.

They moved to the living room after dinner, James taking the remaining strawberries with them.

Rae hesitated for a moment, then chose the couch, pushing the coffee table out with her foot so she could sink down in the cushions and use the table as a footrest. “What movie did you end up choosing?”

He slipped it into the VCR, and used the remote to click on the television, set the volume. “An old one. A mushy one.”

She blinked, surprised. “You got a mushy movie?”

He chuckled at her expression, nudged her over to free a pillow, sat down beside her. “It’s a date, Rae. Mushy is good planning on my part.”

“If it had not been a date?”

He stretched his legs out and grinned. “A Western, definitely.”

Rae leaned against his shoulder. “I like Westerns, too,” she whispered.

“Do you?”

“Anything but horror,” she confirmed.

His hand gently brushed through her hair. She loved being this close to him, able to see the expression in his eyes, feel his chest rise and fall under her hand. The movie came on, interrupting the moment. She didn’t move away; instead, settled against him. His arm slipped around her. His hand captured hers.

It was a love story.

Partway through the movie, Rae shifted to rest her head against his chest, snuggle her hands against his shirt, relax further as she watched, captivated by the story.

James’s hand gently stroked her hair.

It was a movie that required a box of tissues.

She was crying toward the end but had no desire to disturb the pleasure of the moment with James. She was supremely comfortable, tucked in his arms.

James grabbed the tissue box and gently wiped her wet cheeks.

When it was over, she dropped her head down against his chest, hiding her face. “Next time, don’t get a mushy
movie. I look awful when I cry,” she said, laughing, as she tried to wipe away the damage.

James settled her against him. He studied her face seriously, smiled gently. “I think you look okay to me.”

“You’re being kind.”

His hands brushed her cheeks dry. “No, I’m not,” he said simply.

Rae eased her hands to his shoulders. “James.”

“Hmm?” He drew her closer.

“Isn’t this going pretty fast for a second date?”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for about twelve weeks now, it feels kind of slow to me,” he replied with a slow smile.

She blushed softly. “Really?”

He grinned. “Quit fishing for a compliment.”

If she leaned forward even a little, they would be kissing. She wanted to kiss him too much to let herself do it.

She dropped her gaze. She wasn’t used to this emotion.

“We need to take a walk,” James said abruptly.

It took Rae a few moments to remember how to breathe again. He got up and held out his hand and she had to shake her head a couple of times to clear it before she could focus on his hand and accept it.

She steadied herself with a hand braced against his forearm. “A walk is a real good idea. Where are my shoes?”

Having him tie her tennis shoe laces helped break some of the tension inside her, the cool air outside helped finish the task.

James put his arm around her shoulders as they began walking down the block. Rae took advantage of the opportunity to tuck herself as close to him as she could get.

“It would have been quite a kiss,” she offered, teasing softly.

He laughed. “Oh yeah, it would have been quite a kiss.”

She wanted this relationship to progress. The realization made her shiver. Her mind was thinking marriage and children. It was too much transition. Fifteen weeks ago she had been grieving over Leo, thinking her life was over, and now she was at this point with another man.

She eased slightly away from him. “It’s been almost two years since I kissed a guy.”

“Try six years since I really kissed a lady,” James replied. He let her ease away, but kept hold of her hand. “I think we would be wise to avoid the situation for a while.”

They walked together in silence. Rae felt herself begin to relax again. Nothing had changed, not really. They were dating. They were both going to have to decide how serious they wanted the relationship to be, where it was heading, how fast it was going to move. It was good to know the potential for a lot more than just friendship was there.

“Rae?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you a tough question?”

She turned and looked up at him, saw how serious he was. “Sure.”

“Were you and Leo planning to have kids?”

Rae felt the wistfulness well back inside. “Yes,” she whispered, looking out at the night. “At least three. He liked the idea of a big family.”

James squeezed her hand. “I didn’t mean to touch a raw memory.”

“That’s okay. We were planning it all, the house, the kids, the dog.”

He tucked his arm around her again, pulling her close. “Tell me to butt out if you don’t want to talk about this.”

She nodded. “What do you want to know?”

“Has the anger faded?”

“At Leo?”

“And God.”

Rae considered it as they walked. “Mostly. It’s just a profound sense of disappointment that lingers now, that the dreams and plans ended so abruptly. How are you doing with losing Africa?”

“Resigned. There’s nothing short of a miracle cure that can bring it back.”

The silence stretched between them. Rae wished they were further along in the relationship so that she didn’t feel so…awkward. She wanted to know what he thought about getting married, having kids…not necessarily with her, but in general, she told herself as she bit her bottom lip.

“What?” He sounded amused.

She looked up at him, this man she had dreamed about, had decided to let past her reserves to say yes to a date, to say yes to possibly a lot more. He was smiling at her.

“What question is circling around in that mind of yours, wanting to be asked?”

She blushed.

His expression grew serious and gentle. He brushed her cheek with a finger. “It’s okay. Ask.”

“Did you buy that house planning to have children?”

“Four,” he replied, smiling. “At least two adopted. I’ve got a wallet full of snapshots of children, I want a few of my own to add to the collection.”

“Four.”

James tugged her hair lightly. “My wife will have a little say, of course.”

“That’s kind of necessary,” Rae reminded him, grinning. So what if it was only a second date? Nothing had been con
ventional in her life or in their relationship to this point. She might as well ask the questions she would like to have answers to. “What’s your ideal honeymoon?”

Her question amused him. “That’s a tough one.” He thought for a moment. “Three weeks. Somewhere with a private beach, a lot of sun. Maybe Maui.”

“Wedding?”

“Big.”

“Ten-year anniversary gift?”

“Rae…”

“I’m curious.”

“My wife would learn to play golf.”

It was such a specific answer that Rae couldn’t help but laugh. “You play?”

“Not yet. If I get married, I figure I’ll learn.”

“No more questions?” James asked after a moment.

“No.”

He tugged her to a stop. They were in the shadows of a tall oak, moonlight flickering between the leaves. “Then I have a question for you.”

Rae looked up at him.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, seriously.

There was nothing she would like more.
“I’m not so sure it would be a good idea,” she found herself replying.

He linked his arms around her, bringing her close. “Just one kiss?”

She reluctantly nodded. She wanted to kiss him, to find out if it would be as special as she imagined it might be. She eased herself forward, her arms resting on his shoulders.

The kiss was gentle, soft, careful. It made her more vulnerable than she had been in two years. She was letting him inside her heart. It made her tremble under his hands.

He broke the kiss off before it could progress. “Kissing is going to be a problem.”

“We could not do it again,” she felt honor bound to offer. She was still trying to sort out the emotions, how much she had enjoyed that kiss.

He hugged her.

“Rationing. One kiss per date. We might survive.”

She leaned against him and returned the hug. “Come over tomorrow.”

They both laughed.

“Come on, lady. It’s late. You’ve got to go to work in a few hours. It’s time I took you home.”

Rae reluctantly let him start them walking again. After they reached her town house, it took only a couple of minutes for the movie to be rewound, the dishes from dinner to be repacked.

Rae stood in the doorway after James stepped out onto the porch, the sack balanced in his hand.

“I’m not going to do more than simply say good-night,” he cautioned, even as he stepped closer.

“That’s wise,” Rae agreed.

“Do you feel like the rug just got pulled out from under your feet?”

It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one…. “Yanked out,” she clarified.

“What do you want to do about it?”

He was so close she could touch his face if she only raised her hand. “Take it one day at a time,” she replied softly, wisely.

He leaned down and gently kissed her cheek. “Good answer, Rae. You like sandwiches?”

She blinked at the change of subject. “Sure.”

“I’ll bring lunch tomorrow if you can get twenty minutes away. Your complex has a pond, ducks, and a park bench.”

Her smile lit up her face. “Thanks.”

He smiled back. His free hand gently stroked her cheek. “Tell me to go home, I’m in trouble here.”

Her hands gently touched his shirt. She took a deep breath and pushed him a step away. “Go home.”

He stepped back, made it two steps down the walk before he turned. “Rae?”

She hadn’t moved, didn’t have the strength or the will. “Yeah?”

“Sweet dreams.”

Her face tensed.

“What?” He came partway back.

She forced her smile. “Nothing. I’ll dream sweet dreams,” she promised. “I’ll see you tomorrow, James.”

He hesitated. “Good night, then.”

“Good night.”

“The duck on the end looks annoyed.”

Rae bit into the center of her sandwich, trying to keep the inch-high stack of condiments from falling off. She was near the end and it was becoming an adventure to eat. “You would be, too, if your wife was flirting with another guy,” she remarked when she could speak again. “That’s Bradley. His wife is the one in front flirting with the mallard.”

“You’ve got them all named.”

She finished the sandwich. “The same ducks have been coming back here for years.”

James shifted his arm across the back of the bench. Rae took advantage of the situation to lean her head back. “Thanks for lunch.”