Read Going for Four: Counting on Love, Book 4 Online
Authors: Erin Nicholas
Olivia groaned. “See? Easy. I shouldn’t forgive him just because I like the sex.”
Isabelle elbowed Emma. “It’s not just that. This is
Cody
. You’ve never said no to him. You’ve always forgiven him.”
Olivia pointed at her. “There! See? I’ve always been easy for him.”
“What do you mean by easy?” Amanda asked.
“Easy to get along with. Easy to leave at home to date other women. Easy to resist.”
Amanda shook her head. “You want to be difficult?”
“It’s…” Olivia sighed. “What I was going to say was going to sound like the most selfish, spoiled thing ever.”
Amanda laughed. “Honey, you haven’t been selfish or spoiled a day in your life. I’d say you’re due.”
Olivia looked at her oldest sister. Fine. If there was anyone she could say this to, it would be her sisters. “He doesn’t have to work at it in bed anymore.”
“Because the orgasms are easier now?” Isabelle asked. At Olivia’s nod, she asked, “How is that not a good thing?”
“Because…” Olivia swallowed, feeling her cheeks get warm. “At least there, he had to put in some effort. At first I felt bad that it was hard, but then I realized that it said a lot that he was so willing to work at it.”
Isabelle nodded. “I get that. And now he doesn’t have to?”
“Right. He doesn’t have to work at anything. And maybe Conner’s right.”
“Conner isn’t always right, Liv,” Emma said. “If you’re easy for anyone, it’s
Conner
. You’ve always thought that he could do no wrong.”
“And for
years
of my life, he didn’t do anything wrong,” Olivia told her. “But I want to be more difficult for him too.”
Isabelle chuckled. “You want to be more work for both of them?”
“Yes. Because it’s nice when someone’s willing to put in the time and effort. Everyone loves me because I’m easy. I don’t make a fuss about stuff. I’m not bossy like Amanda and I’m not stubborn like you,” she said to Isabelle. “And I’m not unpredictable like Emma. I’m even keel and an open book, right?”
“Everyone loves you because you’re amazing,” Amanda said.
“Amazingly easy to get along with.”
“How is that possibly a bad thing?”
She wanted to put this into words but afraid she’d sound immature or whiny. She was loved. She knew that. And she was grateful for every person in her life who made her feel special. But… “Shane loves Isabelle even when she’s
not
easy to be with. In fact, he loved and fought for her through the least easy time in her life.”
Isabelle’s expression went soft and goofy. “That’s true.”
Olivia looked at Emma. “And Nate loves Emma. Exactly as she is. And we all know that Emma is the epitome of difficult.”
Emma shrugged. No one could argue with that.
“And Ryan loves you,” she said, turning to Amanda. “Even when you’re bossy and always thinking you’re right. And
you
loved him when
he
was the one being difficult.”
Amanda reached out and took Olivia’s hand. “What are you worried about?”
She bit her bottom lip, studying her napkin. Finally, she said quietly, “That Conner’s right. That Cody like things easy. And that’s the main reason he wants to be with me—because I am easy. Especially for him.”
“This is crazy,” Emma said, setting her glass down hard. “Cody’s been there for two years while you were
amazingly
difficult, putting up all those rules and constantly saying nothing could happen because of Conner. But he stuck around. He scared those other guys off so he wouldn’t lose you. He never knew that he could have anything other than your friendship, but he didn’t want to lose even that. Then when you finally put out, he had to really work to make it good…and he
did
.”
Olivia stared at her. “He put those rules up too.”
“Who initiated them?” Emma shot back.
Olivia opened her mouth. Then closed it. “I did.”
“Exactly. He wanted to tell you how he felt, but he didn’t because he didn’t want to lose what he did have with you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Those nights after the big blowup with Conner in your office when he got crazy drunk, the guys took turns taking care of him, making sure he didn’t do anything stupider than killing brain cells,” Emma said. “He told Nate that it killed him not to tell you how he felt, but he knew that would make it harder on
you
. And that he was happy being your friend. He said that if all he ever got to do with you was laugh and eat brownies, then he’d take it. And if you had a boyfriend, he wouldn’t have had even that.”
Olivia tried to process that. “So I was going to be alone—and fat—while he found Miss Perfect and settled into a happy life?
Emma grinned. “Honey, he was never serious with any other woman. Why do you think that is?”
“What do you mean? He didn’t find the right one. Of course, he slept with them anyway.” Olivia sucked up the remnants of her strawberry daiquiri. She probably needed to start drinking something stronger.
“Come here.” Emma slid out of the booth and stood, holding her hand out for Olivia. Amanda scooted out of the way.
“Where?” Olivia asked.
“There are some people you need to talk to. Trust me.” Emma tugged her out of the booth.
Neither Amanda nor Isabelle protested. In fact, Amanda signaled the waitress for another drink.
Olivia tugged the hem of her shirt down. Fine. Whatever.
Emma led her toward the stage, where a couple of the doctors from St. Anthony’s were doing karaoke.
“Hey, girls,” Emma greeted the small cluster of women standing to one side, watching the show.
“I was wondering if you would help us settle an argument.”
One of the women, a built redhead who looked amazing in her tight black jeans and boots, eyed Olivia. “What’s it about?”
Olivia wondered at the look of contempt in the woman’s eyes.
Emma looked like she was trying not to smile. “Olivia doesn’t know the reason that Cody has never gotten serious with anyone.”
The redhead propped a hand on one hip. “You’re Olivia?”
Olivia looked at her sister. For some reason it seemed like a bad idea to admit it.
“Yes, this is my sister Olivia.”
“You’re the one he’s always talking about?
Olivia felt her eyebrows rise. “Who?”
The redhead rolled her eyes. “Cody Madsen.”
“Cody’s always talking about me?”
“It’s annoying.”
“This is
Olivia
?” the blond standing with Red asked.
Emma smiled. “Yep.”
The blond looked her up and down. “No kidding.”
“Right?” Red asked. “I expected more.”
Hey. Olivia frowned. Emma snorted.
“I’ve heard that from other girls too,” Em said. “That he talks about her a lot.”
“He’s clearly in love with her,” the blond said, with some disgust in her voice. “But whatever. It’s not like I wanted to marry him, but it would have been nice to have him find
me
as interesting for one night.”
Emma turned to Olivia. “See? He’s been in love with you for a long time. You don’t think that it’s been hard on him to not be able to have you? But he’s stuck around anyway.”
Red looked surprised. “You didn’t know he was in love with you?”
Olivia didn’t know what to say. She shook her head.
Red laughed. “Oh, boy. Well, honey, let me tell you, all the girls in this bar hate you. Because he’s head over heels and won’t ever get serious with anyone else. And the fact that you’ve been stringing him along all this time has made more than one of us want to smack you.”
Olivia felt her mouth drop open.
She’d
been stringing
him
along? Conner had been so adamant about Cody being the one doing that to her. He’d said that Cody had tucked her away in the “friend” corner where he could have her, but didn’t have to worry about the complications of a relationship.
She felt her face get hot and she suddenly couldn’t take a deep breath.
She
had
done that to him. Exactly that. A complicated relationship would have involved telling Conner and dealing with his anger. She would have had to stand up to her brother a long time ago. She would have had to risk disappointing him. So she’d tucked Cody into a friend corner too—where she could have him but not worry about Conner being upset. Conner had said Cody had the best of both worlds—hot sex and a home-cooked meal. Well, so had she—Cody
and
Conner both thinking she was amazing.
Emma turned Olivia to her. “You okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“You finally gonna do something about that boy?” Red asked.
Olivia wet her lips. Then nodded.
“Good,” Red said. “Any guy who’s waited around that long without getting any lovin’ deserves to finally get what he wants.”
He had. He’d done that. He’d stuck around, watched romantic comedies, baked bread, escorted her to parties and events, and he’d kept his hands to himself. Mostly.
Wow. A guy didn’t do that if he didn’t have deeper feelings.
How had she never seen that before?
She just needed to ask one more question. She headed for her almost-brother-in-laws. Who were sitting, as usual, with her brother. Cody was notably absent.
“I have a question.”
Ryan, Conner, Shane and Nate looked up at her.
“If Isabelle wanted to only do art projects with you,” she said to Shane—her sister was into everything from knitting to decoupage, “would you stick around?”
Shane swallowed the drink of beer he’d taken. “What?” he asked.
“If you had gone on the road trip and in the end all she wanted was to do crafts together, would you have stuck around?”
He glanced to where Isabelle was sitting, then back to Olivia. “You mean for almost two years? Without knowing how she
really
felt about me and without any indication she’d ever change things?”
Okay, so he knew what she was talking about. Olivia nodded.
He blew out a breath. “I don’t know, Liv. That would’ve been really hard.”
Olivia felt her eyes stinging with tears. “How about you?” she asked Nate. “What if Emma only wanted to hang out and watch movies?”
Nate’s gaze flickered to Emma and heated instantly. Olivia rolled her eyes. The two of them were downright combustible.
“No way could I have kept it just to that,” he said. “I have no self-control where she’s concerned.”
Emma leaned over and planted a hot, wet kiss on him.
“What if that’s what she told you she wanted?” Olivia asked, her throat tight.
Nate didn’t move his hand from Emma’s ass. “It would’ve been too hard for me to be only her friend and not have more. I’m not that good of a guy.”
“You would have left her alone then?”
“Knowing how Cody feels about you, I think he’s a damned saint,” Nate said. “I don’t know how he did it.”
“How did you know I was talking about me?”
Ryan laughed. “You’ve kept Cody at arm’s length all this time,” he said. “And you’re wondering why he stayed.”
“Would
you
have stayed?” she asked him.
“For Amanda?” His gaze found his fiancé across the room. “I would have tried. We did try the friend thing, if you remember.” He looked at Conner. “But no. I’m not that good of a guy either.”
“Well, Cody’s kept me at arm’s length too,” she said crossly.
“No,” Ryan said. “He’s stayed at arm’s length, but no…”
“Well, if he didn’t like it, he should have stopped coming over to bake,” she said.
“But he did like it,” Shane said. “Not as much as he would have liked more. But he liked baking with you more than he liked going out—and stuff—with other women.”
“And stuff?” Olivia asked. Then she realized what he was talking about and held up a hand. “Never mind.”
She thought about that. It was…surprising, for sure. But sweet. And romantic. Huh. And here she’d been thinking Cody wasn’t doing the romantic thing for her.
“Did he think we would eventually be more than friends?” she asked Shane. “Really?”
“For a while.” Shane nodded. “But eventually I think he resigned himself to not having more than that with you.”
“Then why did he stick around and not find someone else?”
“Like I said, he liked being with you more than anyone else.”
“But in almost
two years
there was never another girl?” Olivia asked. She distinctly remembered a few nights at Trudy’s watching Cody get flirty with another girl. Girls whom he seemed to actually like.
“There was Tracie,” Ryan said. “He liked her. But she didn’t like how much time he spent with you. When she told him it was her or you, he picked you.”
“And Kari,” Shane said. “He liked her a lot.”
Olivia remembered both Tracie and Kari. She hadn’t liked either of them. Tracie was too bubbly and smiled too big. Kari had been too…perfect for him.