Going for Four: Counting on Love, Book 4 (8 page)

She pressed her lips together, and the look she gave him was so sad that he almost took it all back. Then she nodded. “I’d hate the idea that we were both living our lives with someone who was second best. And that
they
were also living without their soul mates. I’d rather not know. I’d rather keep believing that if we
were
meant to be together, then there wouldn’t be this problem with Conner, and he’d give us his blessing and we could live happily ever after.” She took another breath. “But that can’t happen. So I choose to believe that we’re
not
true loves.”

Fuck. He should let this go. He needed to let this go.

“What I’m having a hard time believing,” he said, definitely not letting it go, “is that there’s another woman out there who I could feel as strongly—or
more
strongly—about than I do about you.”

Olivia swallowed hard, then licked her lips. “The romantic movies are starting to rub off on you,” she finally said.

He gave a humorless laugh. “That must be it.”

That wasn’t it. Or was it? Those frickin’ movies…

“We should watch a
Die Hard
marathon or something,” she said with a shaky smile.

“Bruce Willis took on the terrorists in
Die Hard
mostly because his wife was being held hostage. Even though they were estranged, he still loved her enough that he would go through hell and risk his life to save her.”

Dammit. Where had that come from?

Olivia looked surprised. “That’s true.” She paused, looking torn for a moment. Then said, “We should go.”

Of course they should go. This was all ridiculous. “Why?”

“Because of two of our rules.”

Their rules. Right. “We’re drinking together,” he said.

“Yep.”

“What other one are we breaking?” She looked sexy as hell the way she was dressed, but it wasn’t actually skimpy or revealing. They weren’t talking about sex. Exactly. And they weren’t avoiding each other. Quite the opposite. That only left…

“I have a feeling we’re about to break another rule,” she said softly. Her gaze flickered to his mouth.

Cody felt the heat shoot through him. She was simply
talking
about kissing him and he got worked up.

“Yeah, well, our rules don’t work worth a shit anyway,” he said. “We can follow them all to a
T
and I still want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted. I get hard when I smell your hair and when I hear you laugh and when you put lip gloss on and when you wear sandals.”

He stopped talking when he realized she was now looking at him like he’d announced that his talent for the Miss America pageant was clog dancing.

He took another shot of tequila. Because why not? This was already out of control.

“What?” he finally snapped when she didn’t say anything.

“I… You…you get hard when I wear sandals?”

Apparently he also got hard when Olivia talked about him getting hard. He shifted on his chair. “Yeah. And tennis shoes. And boots. And heels. Definitely heels.”

They both looked down at her feet. Her heels were sexy, and he knew that he’d make her keep them on in bed.

If they were ever going to be in bed together.

Which they weren’t.

She went back to staring at him.

“
What
?” he asked, exasperated. And horny.

“I want that.”

“What?”

“A guy who loves the smell of my hair and my lip gloss and who…wants me like that.”

He tamped down the urge to say,
See? I’m your guy.

Because he wasn’t, dammit. He couldn’t be. He could try, of course. But he’d never been very good at
trying
. Conner could attest to that.

Still, for a moment, it would have been nice to have the most romantic woman he’d ever met assume that they were written in the stars.

The worst thing was that he wasn’t sure any guy would try hard enough for Olivia.

He turned to her suddenly. “Liv, you have to promise me something.”

“What?”

“You will
insist
that whatever guy you’re with treats you like—” He broke off as a proper analogy failed to come to him.

“Like what?” she prompted.

“Hang on. I’m trying to come up with the right example.”

She looked amused but stayed quiet.

“Not Prince Charming,” he said, thinking out loud. “That’s what everyone says, right? That they’re looking for Prince Charming. But you know what? He was kind of a douche. Who decides to marry a girl from
dancing
with her? It takes more than that. Though,” he went on, his thoughts spinning, “the Prince in the Drew Barrymore version was good. He at least got to know her and
kissed
her. Do you know how many romantic movies show people falling in love without ever even kissing?” he asked her. “
While You Were Sleeping
,
Sleepless in Seattle
,
You’ve Got Mail
…”

“
When Harry Met Sally
,” she offered. “As long as we’re talking about Meg Ryan.”

“No, they kiss. They sleep together,” he said.

“But they were in love by then.”

“But they didn’t know it.”

She was quiet for a moment. “They often don’t know it, huh?”

“Almost never.”

“Well,” she said, brighter again. “How about John Cusack in
Say Anything
?”

“I like his passion,” Cody agreed. “He was determined. And he kissed her.”

“He knew he was in love with her,” Olivia said.

“Yeah, but he was kind of awkward,” Cody said. “You need someone with confidence.”

“How about John Cusack in
Serendipity
? He had it all,” she said. “Confidence, knew he loved her…”

“He hadn’t kissed her. And he let her get in the damned elevator without him?” Cody hated that movie. It was sweet how they’d kept thinking of one another and tried to find each other again, but that guy should never have let the girl go in the first place. “What a dumb ass.”

Olivia laughed softly. “Okay, so we only like the ones that go after what they want from the beginning.”

“Right.”

“Okay.” She was clearly amused now. “Like who? Are we talking Bogart in
Casablanca
?”

“Hell no,” Cody said adamantly. He hated that movie too. “He let her leave. After everything. In fact, he
made
her go.”

“It was out of love,” Olivia protested. “It was what was best.”

“Dumb ass,” Cody said firmly.

“Let me get this straight. You think Rick Blaine in
Casablanca
—one of the best-known and critically acclaimed movies ever—was a dumb ass?”

“Yes.”

She shook her head and laughed.

“You deserve someone who refuses to live without you.” Which, of course, counted
him
out. Speaking of dumb asses…

“Well, I know you don’t like Hugh Grant in
Notting Hill
.”

“Pussy,” Cody said bluntly. “Should have gone for it
way
before he did.”

“How about Ryan Reynolds in
The Proposal
? Or Ryan Gosling in
The Notebook
?”

He nodded as he thought about those. “Gosling could have stepped up a little more.” Then the right guy hit him. “I’ve got it.” He smacked his palm on top of the bar. “Leo in
Titanic
.”

“Jack Dawson?” Olivia asked. Then she nodded. “Okay, I see what you mean.”

“Jack knew what he wanted and he went for it. He was confident, but romantic and down to earth. Jack’s the guy for you.”

“Too bad he’s fictional. And would be about a hundred and twenty years old now.”

“But you hold out for a guy like him,” Cody said, taking her hand. “That’s what you deserve.”

She looked into his eyes. She wasn’t smiling or laughing now. “Okay, Cody. That’s what I’ll hold out for.”

“You two ready for a cab?”

Cody pulled his attention from Olivia to the bartender. Bartender. Cab. Right. He and Olivia had been drinking tequila. No wonder he was getting all these mushy meant-to-be feelings. Olivia Dixon was amazing. She was everything he’d ever want in a woman—if it were possible for him to have her.

But she wasn’t his soul mate or his destiny or his other half or any other romantic illusion someone in Hollywood or Harlequin could conjure.

People were attracted and fell in love every day. And he and Olivia would do the same thing. With two
other
people.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he told the bartender.

Olivia nodded her agreement.

Cody held her elbow as they made their way to the front doors. The cab arrived as they stepped out onto the sidewalk, and he helped her into the backseat.

He gave the driver her address and they settled in for the trip, neither talking the entire way.

They pulled up in front of her condo and Cody got out to escort her to the door. She slid across the seat and took his hand when he offered it. He didn’t let go as they walked to her front door.

At the door, they stopped and faced each other.

“Well, I am definitely relieved to know that I wasn’t stood up,” she said.

He smiled. “I’m glad to know that too. Thinking there was a guy that stupid out there was draining my hope for humanity.”

She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“You okay?” he asked.

They couldn’t pursue this, but she had to be okay. Cody couldn’t handle her not being okay.

“I can’t believe I’m standing here, looking at the perfect guy, in a new dress, after a romantic restaurant, and I won’t even get a kiss goodnight.”

He looked down at her, his stomach in knots. Affection and desire warred with exasperation and plain old fear. Fear that whatever he did at this moment would be wrong. Fear that he’d ruin everything with the wrong word or action. Fear of losing her.

“You had high hopes for tonight,” he said.

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She squeezed his hand. “I could never not be happy after being with you.”

He squeezed her back, then dropped her hand before he pulled her in and gave her the kiss she wanted.

Because he wanted more than that from her.

“Night, Liv.”

“Night, Cody.”

He made himself turn and walk back to the cab. He turned back before he got into the car and saw her still standing on the top step. “You got your key?”

She held it up.

“Okay. Then…goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

She didn’t move, and as Cody got into the car and gave the driver his address, he knew exactly what he had to do.

It couldn’t last. It couldn’t be everything forever and ever. But
tonight
could be perfect. Tonight she could have her big, romantic, swoon-worthy, movie moment. And he wanted to give her that. Enough that it scared him.

Still, as the driver put the car into drive, the anticipation swirled in Cody’s gut. And as the car began to pull away from the curb, his excitement mounted and his grin grew.

When they got a half of a block away, Cody said, “Stop.”

The cab driver braked. “What’s wrong?”

“Pull over.”

The cab pulled toward the curb again and Cody wrenched the door open, got out and jogged back to Olivia’s door.

She was still standing there, now with huge, wide eyes.

He took the four steps two at a time.

“Cody, what are you—”

Before she could finish the question, Cody took her face in his hands, tipped her chin and covered her mouth with his.

Emotions swirled through him as she immediately adjusted to the kiss, pressing closer, gripping his forearms, sighing happily.

It was better than any movie moment he’d ever seen.

He kept his lips still for the first several moments, relishing the feel, absorbing the moment.

It’s been too long
.

It was a ridiculous thought for something that wasn’t supposed to have
ever
happened and had only happened once, but it had, and his body, his heart, his
soul
had never forgotten.

Eventually, though, his lips couldn’t stay still and he moved. Slightly, a small parting, but Olivia’s lips followed, soft, yet eager, and when he felt her sigh again, he knew he needed to hear—and feel—her moan.

He traced her bottom lip with his tongue, the taste the sweetest he’d ever had. Then he dipped inside, stroking along her tongue as his thumbs stroked along her jaw. She opened for him, pressing against him with a willingness and excitement that humbled him. Olivia Dixon wanted him. It made him want to claim her and show the world that this woman would give him everything she had if he asked. Because she trusted him.

That thought was precisely what made him finally pull back.

He didn’t let go of her just yet though. He wasn’t
that
strong.