Going for Four: Counting on Love, Book 4 (12 page)

“So Conner called her,” Olivia said.

“Right. And spent like two hours on the phone with her, then got in his car and drove up to see her.”

“He drove two hours to her campus?” Olivia asked.

Cody nodded. “I didn’t know about that until a while after. But yeah, he was worried she’d do something stupid if he didn’t go up there.”

“Stupid like what?” Olivia asked. “Like she’d be suicidal?”

Cody took a deep breath. “No. I think he was more worried that she’d get drunk and then try to drive down to see me. Or she’d call my mom. I don’t know. I don’t know if
she
even really knew what she would do. Ashley was sweet and we’d never even fought before.”

“She was easy to take for granted then,” Olivia said. “Right? You figured she’d always be there. That you couldn’t screw up enough for her to break up with you. That she’d always forgive you.”

That was exactly it. “I was the first guy to pay attention to her in high school. I was very romantic. She thought I was awesome.”

Olivia snorted softly. “What happened with her and Conner?”

Cody shifted on the chair. Her words about Ashley applied to Olivia too. Every one of them. That she was easy to take for granted, that she’d always be there, always forgive him. He could hurt her. Big time. And while hurting Ashley still bothered him, hurting Olivia would haunt him forever.

“Conner drove up there to comfort her. They already had a little crush going, I think, over the phone, and she’d been dumped and he was pissed at me and…they…”

Olivia’s arms dropped to her sides. “Conner
slept
with her?”

“Yes.”

“But…uh…wow.”

That pretty much covered it. “And it gets worse.”

“I’ve never even heard of Ashley, so it couldn’t have been too serious,” Olivia said.

Cody hated to tell Conner’s secrets. But Olivia deserved to know the whole thing. “They started seeing each other. Conner thought it was serious. She…was using him to make me jealous. It seemed perfect, I’m sure. When she came down to visit him, she ended up staying in our room.”

“I’ll bet that was awkward.”

“I stayed away.”

“It didn’t bother you?”

“I felt bad about it. Still do. But no. It didn’t bother me. Once I got used to the idea anyway. I knew Conner would treat her well. And I, obviously, wasn’t truly in love with her.”

In truth, then and now, he wished that Ashley had actually fallen for Conner. Conner would have taken care of her. Her life wouldn’t have spiraled out of control. And Cody wouldn’t still be blaming himself ten years later.

Olivia frowned. “So what happened? Like I said, I’ve never heard of her.”

Cody fidgeted again. Then said, “When she realized it wasn’t bothering me, she tried to get my attention in other ways. Drinking and partying, e-mailing me photos, calling me when she was drunk. Sleeping around.”

“She used Conner.” Olivia’s voice was harder now.

Now they were talking about her big brother.
That
would bother her.

“Yeah. She dumped him and got out of control. She got kicked off the volleyball team and lost her scholarship. She didn’t go back the next year.”

Olivia looked conflicted now. She wouldn’t like Ashley because of what she’d done to Conner—and maybe even Cody—but she would also be concerned about the girl messing up her life. That was Olivia. Sweet to a fault.

That was the entire problem with him being with her in a nutshell.

“She eventually cleaned up and finished school,” Cody said. “At least according to Facebook and my parents. Who, by the way, ended their friendship with Ashley’s parents after we broke up.”

“Why?”

“Because my mother has always been convinced that I can do no wrong. So it seemed to her that it was all Ashley’s fault somehow and I’d been treated poorly and wrongly accused.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m not.” This was probably important for her to understand too. “I’ve never been held responsible for anything I’ve done wrong, Liv. My parents thought I walked on water. The things I did well, I got praised and rewarded for. The things I did wrong…they always found an excuse.”

“You were a bratty little kid, weren’t you?” she asked.

“Big time. I’ve been a dick since I was two or three, I’m sure. Always got my way, never had to say I was sorry.”

“You’re not a dick now.”

“Thanks to your brother, I’m a reformed dick,” Cody conceded. “But it’s really easy for me to slip back into my asshole ways. Trust me.”

“What did Conner do?”

Cody took a deep breath. This was the basis for the friendship that was keeping him from being with the woman he was in love with. “Mostly he was a role model. Your brother does the right things for the right reasons. He’s a good guy.”

Olivia’s expression softened. “No arguments from me.”

“And he didn’t write me off. I mean, there were about six months where we didn’t speak or hang out. But in the end, Conner realized that…I have some issues and some potential.”

“You’re a great guy now. Everyone knows it. You’re the nice guy, the good guy.”

“I work at it,” he said with a shrug. He did a lot of charity work, he was there for his friends, he was trying to get over his propensity for thinking he could get away with anything.

He was trying to be a grown-up. And a good guy.

He treated women much better than he used to. He gave sincere compliments, was a serial monogamist, never forgot important dates.

But a relationship with another woman who had a big heart and thought he walked on water was a level of good-guy he wasn’t sure he could do. He needed a girl who could look out for herself when he messed up.

However, the little blond in front of him—who thought he was awesome—was making it harder to remember that than it had ever been.

“Conner’s not so perfect,” Olivia said. “He still holds this against you, right?”

Cody nodded. “He tries not to, but yeah. He can’t get over how I treated her. How I chose the good time and the popularity over the long-term relationship I had with her.”

“You were a kid,” she said. “And it was a long time ago.”

“I know. But it messed up my friendship with your brother for a long time. We stayed roommates and tried to be civil when we were around the football team and coaches. The coaches would have been annoyed if they find out we were fighting about a girl. But we didn’t talk and spent no time together other than when we were sleeping.”

“But you’re friends now,” she pointed out.

“We ran into each other at a bar one night about six months later. He was really drunk. I offered to take him home. He said he’d rather I get drunk with him. So I did and we called a buddy later to pick us up. Once we were liquored up, we talked about everything and decided we’d both been jerks and promised to never let a girl come between us again.” He looked Olivia directly in the eye. “I really don’t think either of us would have guessed the next girl we’d be torn over would be one of his sisters though.”

“So Conner’s going to worry that you’ll treat me like you did Ashley?” she asked. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Maybe.” He would never
want
to hurt Olivia. He would never
want
to take her for granted. And there was no way he could ever want to be with another woman if he had her.

But…Olivia was sweet and trusting and loyal and good. Like Ashley times ten. She saw the best in him for sure. Even when he wasn’t sure it was really there.

“He doesn’t trust you with women?”

“He doesn’t trust me with women he thinks are easily influenced by charm, good looks and romance. He used to joke about me and Emma going out, but I always knew that if I did ask her out, he would have been okay with it. Amanda too, probably.”

“Because he thinks they can take care of themselves.”

“Because they’ll bust my balls if I do something they don’t like.”

“But I won’t?”

He laughed. Olivia was definitely not the ball-busting kind. “You’d make me muffins and want to talk about it. And you’d give me a dozen chances to get it right. Emma would throw me out on my ass at violation number one. Even for an alleged violation.”

Olivia chewed on her bottom lip. He could tell she wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t. Olivia was forgiving of most people. She saw the good in everyone. With him? The rose-colored glasses were a deep, dark pink. He could get away with anything. Even hurting her. Whether he wanted to or not.

He’d screw up. For sure. And she’d be there to take him back, every time.

Conner wasn’t wrong about that.

Fuck.

“I can’t make you any promises, Liv,” he finally said. “I mean, I
could
. I want to. But I can’t honestly tell you that I’ll treat you the way you deserve.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, Cody. And you’re older now. And you learned from that situation,” she told him.

He smiled even as a sadness gripped him. He really wasn’t good enough for her. He was a guy who had always taken a mile when given an inch. He’d grown up believing that it was easier to get forgiven than to get permission. His mother had been exactly like Ashley and Olivia. He could do no wrong in her eyes, and she made excuses for him and never stayed mad, never punished him.

He would try his damnedest to be the man Olivia believed he was, but inevitably he’d say or do something without thinking it through and he’d hurt her. That would kill him.

And then Conner would kill him.

“See, you’re doing it already,” he said. “You’re spinning this to make me look good.”

“You’re not an asshole,” she said firmly. “You’re a great guy. You have a big heart. You’re…my best friend.”

He nodded. “Ditto, babe. But friendship is different. Be honest. I have more leeway as a friend than as a boyfriend.”

She pressed her lips together and studied him for a long time. Long enough Cody began shifting again.

Olivia Dixon, the most amazing woman in the world, was standing in front of him in her underwear telling him that he was a great guy.

It was pretty much the best and most painful moment of his life.

“Here’s the thing,” she finally said. “I think you’re going to have to step up.”

“Step up? What do you mean?”

“I know you don’t want to hurt me,” she told him, moving closer. “And if you walk out of here without kissing me, you’ll hurt me for sure.”

Cody stared at her. “That’s very…”

“Honest?”

“I was going to say manipulative.”

She smiled, clearly not bothered by that at all. "Not quite ball-busting though, huh? I’ll have to work on that.”

Cody snorted. He couldn’t help it. Olivia couldn’t be a ball-buster. It wasn’t possible.

“Cody?” she said softly, stepping closer again. They were now knee to knee. He could reach out and touch her. If he wanted to.

He
always
wanted to. But he’d gotten good at resisting.

“Yeah?” His voice sounded as tight as his throat felt.

“You have a choice to make,” she said.

Hell.

“None of that story bothered you?”

“Of course it did. I’m not very proud or pleased with either you or Conner,” she said. “But I know you both, and you’re not those guys anymore.”

He knew she wanted to see him a certain way, but damn, when she said stuff like that,
he
started to believe it. He wanted to be that guy. He wanted to prove to her that she was absolutely right about him.

“What do you think we’re going to do here?”

She smiled and reached behind her, unhooking her bra and letting it fall away from his favorite pair of breasts
ever
.

He should have seen that coming.

That was going to become his new mantra.

“Liv,” he said hoarsely.

“I’m going to show you that you are the guy that I want and need you to be, right here and right now.”

She moved closer, braced a hand on his shoulder and straddled his knees, settling her sweet ass on his lap.

She threaded her fingers through the hair at the back of his head and leaned to put her lips against his ear. “I need you to touch me, Cody. So much. It doesn’t matter who you’ve been or who I’ve been before this. It’s you and me, right now, just as we are this moment.”

God, that sounded good.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he acknowledged the fact that he was great at making—or taking—any excuse to get what he wanted.

But he was also very good at ignoring important insights about himself.

Then something not-clear-at-the-back of his mind took over. The part that registered Olivia’s scent, the feel of her fingers in his hair, the hot weight of her on his lap, the beaded pink nipples that made his tongue tingle with the need to taste.

A good guy would have dumped her on her pretty butt and gotten the hell out of there.

He wasn’t a good guy. Anyone who wondered about that could ask Conner Dixon himself.