Going the Distance (26 page)

“I’m…good,” she answered. Purposely avoiding the F-word. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.”

“Um…where are you?”

“Virginia. My brother’s place.”

“Oh.”

Was he crazy, or was there a note of disappointment in her voice? Like maybe she was hoping he’d say he was standing on her front lawn with a thousand roses, the way Brant had suggested?

“How are you settling in?” he asked eventually.

“Good,” she said. “It’s nice here. Summer school keeps me busy.”

“Right. Of course.”

“What are you up to?”

“Not much. Avoiding Dale, mostly.”

A thump on the door. “Hey!”

Olivia laughed, hearing the indignant cry. “Still unsuccessful.”

Jarek smiled. The muscles around his mouth hurt, as though he hadn’t used them in forever. “Yeah.” He couldn’t get a read on her. Couldn’t tell if she was happy to hear from him or completely indifferent.

“Well,” she said, when the silence stretched on. “I should probably go.”

“What are you doing on Saturday?” he blurted out.

More silence.
“Saturday?”

“Yeah. This Saturday. Do you want to go on a picnic?” The picnic had been Jonah’s idea. Katrine had seconded it, and since she willingly chose life with a McLean brother, he’d gone with it, even if it sounded fucking stupid when he said it out loud.

“A picnic.” She sounded baffled. “Where?”

Oh God. Of course she would ask that. They were five hundred miles apart, for Christ’s sake. “I’ll come to you,” he said. “On Saturday.”

She was going to say no. Who went on picnics anymore? She probably had a million better things to do. But she surprised him again when she asked, “What time?”

Relief had him sagging into the mattress. “One o’clock.” The guys had told him what to say, but he’d forgotten everything but the most basic details. Picnic. Saturday. One.

“Okay,” she said.

O
LIVIA
D
ISCONNECTED
and stared at the phone in her hand as though it had magically materialized there. Had that just happened? Had Jarek McLean really just called and asked her on a date? And had she accepted?

She slumped into one of the mismatched chairs at her kitchen table and looked around the room, trying to decide if she was dreaming. Her tiny rented house looked normal. Tidy, cozy, a hodgepodge of furniture and finds she’d scoured from summer yard sales and secondhand stores.

She was starting over. Again. Exchanging one life for another, hoping for something better. Unlike the breakup with Chris, she hadn’t kept her phone close by, hoping Jarek would call. He didn’t have her new number, and even though he’d had the old one, he’d never used it. So it had come as the shock of her life when she picked up the phone ten minutes ago and heard his voice.

This time it was different. She’d been so alone when she met Jarek in Lazhou, desperate for company. But there was a difference, she knew now, between being lonely and being alone. When she saw him, it would be because she wanted to, not because he was better than the alternative. She had changed. She was stronger, less naïve. She had chosen not to carry the weight of her resentment with her, and she had forgiven Chris, and her parents, and even Dale.

It was too easy to cling to hurt feelings and bitter grudges, to let insecurity fester. Every day she urged her kids to be brave, to raise their hands and try again. She taught them not to hide from their mistakes but to grow from them, and now she would follow her own advice. On Saturday she would meet Jarek with no expectations. If she had learned anything over the past year and a half, it was that life wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t impossible, either. It was a work in progress, and she was ready.

It was nowhere near as easy as the movies made it look
, Jarek thought, shuffling up her short driveway three days later. He had the ridiculous-looking picnic basket in one hand and flowers in the other. He’d watched those corny romantic comedies with her, scoffing at Richard Gere climbing the fire escape to woo Julia Roberts, and Colin Firth running through the streets of Portugal with his poorly translated speech, but he hadn’t given them nearly enough credit. This shit was
hard.

He stepped onto the front porch and set down the basket to ring the bell, wiping damp hands on his shorts. Jonah had tried to convince him to wear a suit and tie to show Olivia he was serious, but Katrine had intervened and told him to wear whatever he wanted. He wouldn’t pretend to be someone he wasn’t; if Olivia still loved him, it would be for who he was.

The door opened, and there she stood, three feet away and utterly perfect. He couldn’t speak as he took her in, couldn’t believe he’d lasted six weeks without her. And he thanked God he hadn’t worn a fucking suit, as Jonah had suggested. She wore white shorts and a green tank top, her blond hair hanging loose and straight down her back. Her feet were bare and she wore no makeup or jewelry. She wasn’t pretending either, but then again, she never had.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.”

He thrust the flowers at her. “These are for you.”

She stared at the small bouquet, bemused. “Thank you.” She took them from his iron grip, her fingers brushing his. “Come in. I’ll put them in water.”

He stepped into the doorway but went no farther, watching her mile-long legs stride down a short hall and round the corner. After a second he heard water running, then she returned empty-handed.

“This is it,” she said, gesturing to the small living room. It was filled with poorly made furniture that made his fingers twitch. “Do you want a tour?”

Oh, yes, he wanted a tour. He wanted to come inside and lock the door and never come out again. But he couldn’t do that; his friends had made him promise. No matter his desperate urges, this was a first date, and he had to keep his hands to himself. Be a gentleman, whatever the hell that meant.

“Another time,” he said, without thinking. The surprised look on her face made him hear the words for what they were, the admitted hope that there would, in fact, be another time.

She stepped into a pair of Birkenstocks and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Are you ready to go? Should I bring anything?”

“No, I’ve got it.” Actually, he wasn’t sure what he had, because Brant and Dale and Katrine had gone shopping for this excursion, not trusting him not to screw it up. And he’d let them, because he didn’t know what the hell people brought on picnics, because he’d never been on one. His assignment had been to look up Olivia’s address online and find a nearby park. Now they strode down the street side-by-side, not touching. The sun was bright, but a light breeze kept it from being unpleasantly hot.

“Do you know where you’re going?” she asked after a block.

“Yeah. There’s a place up ahead on the right. Charleston Park. Do you know it?”

“I know it.”

Another couple blocks.

“Did you get the job finished?” she inquired. “The travel office?”

“Oh. Yeah. They were happy with it. Glad to be done.”

“That’s good.”

They reached the edge of the park and climbed the grassy hill, passing a small playground and several people laid out on towels, reading or sunbathing. Jarek chose a private spot under a tall oak tree, the leafy branches providing much-needed shade, and set down the basket, flexing his fingers. He prayed for mercy as he pulled back the lid, finding a blanket folded on top and spreading it on the grass.

Olivia sat down and he sat beside her, catching a whiff of apples when she pulled her hair over the opposite shoulder to keep it out of her face. “I have no idea what’s in here,” Jarek admitted, tugging cloth napkins from the basket. “I didn’t pack it.”

“No? Who did?”

“Dale. Brant. Katrine.”

“You didn’t look inside?”

“They told me I wouldn’t be able to repack it properly if I did. So I might not know what everything is. And it might be disgusting.” He pulled out a jar of red pepper jelly, which he’d never heard of, and a baguette wrapped in wax paper. Good. He knew what to do with bread. There was a wedge of brie, which he set between them, and a round of cheese that smelled rancid.

Olivia made a face.

“I think this might be expired,” he said, tossing it over his shoulder where it hit the tree and rolled away.

She smiled. “Good call.”

She helped him unpack the rest, chicken and fruit and warm iced tea. He tried to keep his eyes on the task, but it was impossible not to let his gaze skate down the exposed length of her tan legs, the tempting curve of her breasts in the fitted tank top.

“You look nice,” he said.

She glanced at him. “Thank you.”

“I was supposed to say that when you opened the door, but I forgot.”

“Do you have a script?”

He smiled wryly. “I’m no good at remembering lines when you’re around.”

“Ah.”

They made open-face sandwiches and ate without speaking.

“I was surprised to hear from you,” Olivia said.

Something in his chest clenched. “I’m terrible on the phone.”

“So you say. But here we are.”

“You’re my first date in a really long time.”

She nodded but didn’t say anything, and the tightness around his heart increased.

“Are you seeing someone?” he asked, fingers closing around the blanket as his old instincts kicked in.

She hesitated, then shook her head. “No.”

“But?” He forced his hand to relax.

“But Willa set me up with her friend. A banker.”

“You didn’t go?”

“We went out twice.”

“And he was an asshole?”

“Oh, he was wonderful. Tall, handsome, funny.”

He rubbed his brow. “Jesus.”

“But.”

“But he was a thief?”

She laughed. “I guess I wasn’t ready.”

“Why not?”

She looked at him from under her lashes. “Why do you think?”

“Because you have too many scars from your last relationship?”

Her lips curved. “No scars.”

“Then what?”

“You’re asking too many questions, Jarek. Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been up to since getting back?”

He would much rather continue the original line of questioning, but knew when to back off. He ate another piece of chicken before answering. “Not much. Hanging out with my brother’s family. Brant and Dale. Nothing special.”

“Uh-huh. Have you…met anybody?”

“Women?”

“Yes.”

“No, Olivia.”

“Why not?”

“You want me to say it?”

“If it’s true.”

He could say it. He’d been practicing in the car the whole way over. Nine hours of lame ass recitations. He could do this. “There hasn’t been anyone else since I met you. I don’t want any other women because I’m in love with you.” He stared out over the park, the horizon visible from their perch on the hill.

“Huh,” she said.

He shot her a look. “What?”

“Who are you talking to?”

“What?”

“I’m sitting right here, not off in the distance somewhere.”

His lips twitched. “Well. That’s true.” This is what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? For her to be sitting beside him. And yet for some reason it was so hard to look at her and tell her the truth. But he didn’t want to be a coward anymore. She wasn’t a bad person. She wouldn’t have agreed to come on this picnic if she hated him. And she wouldn’t be telling him to confess his feelings if she didn’t want to hear them. She wasn’t going to hurt him. He trusted her. Jarek looked her square in the face and she stared back, those blue eyes waiting patiently. She could wait forever, if she felt like it. He never should have dated a kindergarten teacher. “I love you, Olivia.”

He saw the lines of her body relax; he hadn’t realized how tense she was. That she’d truly doubted his ability to say the words. “And I’m still really sorry,” he added. “For before.” He couldn’t look at her anymore, it was getting weird. He flicked a bread crumb off the blanket.

“I’m sorry I lied to you about Chris.”

He glanced up in surprise. Of all the things she could have said, he’d never expected that. “Yeah,” he said. “Well. I’m not exactly the easiest person to confess to. And it’s nothing compared to what I did.”

“It still wasn’t good.”

“It’s forgiven.”

“Really? Just like that?”

He shrugged. It was true. If she said nothing had happened in Thailand, then nothing had happened. “Just like that.”

“Well,” she said. “I forgive you too.”

His heart stuttered. “You do?”

“Why else would I be here?”

“The free food?”

“Hmm. Speaking of which, I notice there are no green peppers in here.”

He flushed, caught. “That was my one non-contribution to the basket.”

“It’s nice of you to remember.”

He remembered everything about her. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—forget, no matter what happened between them.

“I love you, Jarek,” she said quietly. “In case you didn’t know.”

He was watching her feet, the pink painted toes that had tempted him so painfully the first night he’d visited her apartment. The time he’d kissed her, so rock hard he thought he might die. He leaned over now and kissed her again, this time without warning or plea for forgiveness. He didn’t hold her in place, either, keeping his hands braced on the blanket behind him, angling his body to press his lips against hers, feeling their perfect softness against his.

She was similarly positioned but he was taller, and her shoulder pressed into his chest, preventing him from getting the contact he craved. But this was their first date, he remembered belatedly, and Jonah had told him that first base was the furthest he could go. He hated his brother sometimes, but he pulled away.

“Where do you go after this?” she asked, watching his mouth, eyes glazed. He loved seeing that look on her face, loved being the one who put it there.

“Back to the hotel,” he said promptly.

She blinked. “What?”

“I—” He cut himself off. “You didn’t mean right after this date. You meant in general.”

“Yeah.” She smiled faintly. “In general.”

“I’ve got to get my own place,” he answered, chewing on a grape to discourage himself from kissing her again. “Jonah plays the drums now.”

Olivia burst out laughing, holding her plastic cup of warm tea over the grass so it didn’t spill on the blanket. “Wow.”

“He’s awful.”

“Where?”

“Where…?”

“Where will this new place be? Close to Jonah?”

“Definitely not too close,” he said firmly.

“Ah.” She sipped her drink and he watched her carefully, trying to gauge her response.

“I could go anywhere,” he said cautiously. “Get a place with a garage, build furniture. Hang around.”

She looked at him from the corner of her eye. “Uh-huh.”

“It could be…here.”

She just waited.

“If that wouldn’t freak you out.”

She bit her lip. “I’ve got some pretty terrible furniture.”

“The worst,” he agreed.

She tried to hide a smile. “It wouldn’t freak me out if you were here.” She copied him and popped a grape into her mouth, and he saw that the white line on the base of her ring finger was no longer visible. Time had reclaimed the small reminder of her old life with a man she had chosen not to take back. Olivia was perfectly capable of making her own decisions, and here she was.

“Say it again,” he said.

Her lips formed an O of surprise and she swallowed the grape. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

She looked him in the eye. “I love you, Jarek,” she said. He held her gaze as long as he could, shuddering as the words sank in. They eased past the debris of the crumbling walls he’d built and landed at the only unbelievable, unquestionable conclusion: it was true.