Good Greek Girls Don't (29 page)

‘Des, they won't bite our heads off. We can't put it off forever.'

I know, I know. Everyone is sitting comfortably with nibblies and drinks, all wondering what is going on. At least while they have food in their hands we'll have a head start if they decide they want to kill us. We'll start running while they get up to chase us.

Chris is right. We need to bite the bullet and tell everyone and pray for the best. ‘Okay. Let's tell them.' I guess that would mean we have to leave the safety and comfort of the kitchen. ‘Just let me check the stuff heating in the oven.' Good diversion tactic I think.

‘Des, you've checked, and everything is fine.' All right, all right. Here goes nothing. I think I shall let Chris do the talking; he's much more diplomatic than I am. Slow walk into the living room. Why do I feel like a condemned person being led to the gallows? This is ridiculous. I love Chris and I want to marry him. He wants to marry me. Why should I care what our parents are going to say or think or do? This is about me and Chris, about us, our lives. These are our decisions to make. I don't care what the oldies say. Yeah, sure. Now if only I could convince myself and my mother of this, all would be right with my world.

‘I guess you're all wondering why we invited you here tonight …'

Chris stops and clears his throat. We're holding hands and his is all clammy.

‘I know it was all kind of last minute and everything …'

Now who's putting off making the announcement?

Ha! And Chris accused me of procrastinating.

‘But Desi and I are really glad that you could all make it.'

‘What's going on here, Christo?' My future father-in-law is not a patient man.

‘Don't rush me, Dad. I just thought that it would be a good idea if we all met, had a meal together and got to know each other and all that stuff.'

Yeah, like the people here tonight are going to buy that.

‘Christo, stop this rubbish.'

‘All right, all right. Look, we just thought it would be a good idea if you all met before the wedding.' Where is the explosion I thought would happen as soon as the announcement was made? I don't think anyone has actually registered what Chris has said. Maybe they fell asleep while he was getting to the point of the evening? Why isn't anybody reacting?

‘Why aren't they saying anything, Chris?' I don't know why I'm whispering, nobody's paying attention to us.

‘What did you say?' Finally someone speaks.

‘We're getting married, Tas. Your big sister's getting married.' Whoa baby, when did Tas go from sitting on the couch to having his arms around me? I think everyone else is finally starting to come back to life.

‘You're getting married? That's too funny, Des.' Little shit, I think the whack across the head got my point across. ‘And here we thought Chris was sane.'

‘Get off me, smart arse.' I think everyone else finally wants to get in on the act. Time for the parental reactions.

‘Ma, Dad, you going to say anything?'

They're both standing there with huge smiles on their faces. Dad's got tears in his eyes. Mum's speechless for once. And Yiayia's winking at me, the cheeky devil.

‘Desi, I can't believe you didn't tell me.' Ricki followed me into the kitchen under the guise of helping me out. Nothing needs to be done – thank the lord for caterers. ‘I'm going to kill you. Some best friend you are.'

‘Ricki, it all happened so fast, last night. If I had any idea this was coming I would have called you to figure out a good reaction when Chris asked me, instead of sitting there like a stunned mullet.' If I had known that Chris was going to propose, all my reactions would have been perfectly choreographed. Between Ricki and me, we wouldn't have missed a beat. ‘I couldn't believe it when he asked me. Do you like my ring?' I should say my rock but I won't. I wouldn't care if it was the top pulled off a Coke can. Okay, so maybe I would care a bit but the point is it doesn't matter how big or small it is or how many carets it has or anything like that. This ring is never leaving my hand. My finger would have to fall off from gangrene and, even then, they would have to chop it off to get this ring off my finger. ‘I couldn't believe it, Rick.' I still can't really believe it; I think it is only just starting to sink in.

‘I'm so happy for you, Des.' If Ricki hugs me any harder she's going to cut off my circulation. ‘So when's the big woga-rama engagement party? Can't wait to see that.'

‘This is it. Sorry to disappoint you but this is the only engagement party you guys are going to get.'

‘Does your mother know that yet?'

I think the shaking of my head gives Ricki her answer.

‘She's going to go ape.'

‘Big time. Let's go have some fun, huh?' I'm such a bitch. A part of me is terrified of the scene my mother is going to cause but a part of me can't wait to see her reaction when she realises that she isn't going to win and get her way. I must be a masochist.

‘Ma, this is our engagement party. There isn't going to be a big reception or anything like that. This is it. Enjoy it, okay?' My mother is going to disown me. I wish she would stop clutching her heart. That tactic hasn't worked on any of us since I turned twelve.

‘Ma, this was our decision. This is what we want.' She's still clutching her heart, stabbing herself with that knife that only Greek mothers see. ‘Tas, get Mum a drink, will you.' I wish Tas would stop laughing. The little turd thinks this is hysterical. Actually, it is. Chris's family took it quite well. They were a bit disappointed but they accepted it and respect our decision. I actually told my future mother-in-law first, in the kitchen. I guess I was worried more about her reaction, after all, I am marrying her only son. Besides, I have to make sure she likes me. I don't want to have one of those motherin-laws from hell. I'd rather she like me and support us.

My mother is apparently
not
going to support us. ‘No. No. No. You have to have engagement party. What will everyone say? They say something wrong, something secret.' My mother is pulling out all the stops here. ‘They say something bad happened.'

Heaven forbid that the Greek community have one less event to attend to, one less gift to buy. Let them gossip as much as they like. I don't care and for once my mother is not going to get her way.

‘Ma, get over it. We're not changing our minds. So have a good time tonight, okay? This is the only engagement party you're going to get.' Must be firm here, mother must get it all through her head. ‘Eat some cake, will you. Then you can call Thia Maria and Thia Aspasia and set all the wogs gossiping. You can all sit there and talk about how I'm breaking your heart.' I'll even show my mother how to make a conference call so she can get everyone's sympathy at the same time.

All-in-all, the night went pretty well. My in-laws welcomed me into the family as if I were the prodigal daughter just returned, so did Chris's sister. Effie kept telling me how happy she is for me and, strangely enough, I believe her. We've come along way in the last few months. Her husband was a no-show, but that was to be expected. Tas, as usual, was the life of the party, injecting his own sense of twisted and warped humour into things. Ricki is already set to buy up every single bridal magazine for me, and Evan, agreed to do the honours at the wedding and be our best man. I think I may have to find someone to set him up with. Rather sad that he was the only single one there tonight. Oh my God, I've turned into Katerina. Which reminds me – I better tell her that I'm engaged before she finds out from someone else. I would have loved Kati to be there tonight but when I called her she said the kids were all down with colds and her husband was being a bigger baby because he had a runny nose. She wasn't going anywhere. If she had any idea what tonight was she would have recruited her mother-in-law to baby sit.

‘You are such a bitch, Desi!' How many times do I have to tell people that this is one of the highest compliments they can pay me?

‘Relax, Kati. You're such an easy target.' It was so easy to make her believe that Chris and I had just had the mother of all rows and ended it for good. It's such a relief to know that I haven't completely lost my touch.

‘You two are really engaged? For real? You're not messing with my mental stability, now are you?'

Would I do something like that? In a heartbeat.

‘Now if I told you I had a vision of you pregnant at my wedding would that convince you?'

‘Bite your tongue thank you very much.'

‘Yes, we are engaged, Kati. He asked me last night and we sprung it on the families tonight and had a little engagement party. And it's the only engagement party that will be had.'

‘How did your mother take it?' She knows my family so well.

‘The wounds in her heart will never heal. She will have to retell her horrors to every wog in order to begin the healing process. Kati, I don't care, I'm so happy. And it's all your fault you know.'

If Katerina hadn't kept pushing to set us up, if she hadn't been so sure, if I hadn't stopped fighting her, this would never have happened. ‘Kati, I hate to admit this, but you were right all along.' And I'll never be able to thank her enough for being such a persistent pain in the bum.