Good Greek Girls Don't (31 page)

My sister's mind isn't on me at the moment either. She's making me nervous. She's like a bloody yoyo. Up and down, up and down. She's making me dizzy. Although I have to admit, ever since Randy Andy took off to Greece, my sister has blossomed. That's the only word for it. She's no longer hiding behind frumpy, matronly clothes – instead she's wearing tops and skirts that show off her gorgeous curves. She's wearing makeup that helps to bring out the blue in her eyes and she's finally let her hair down out of that tight ponytail that used to make her look so severe. She's showing off her beautiful wavy hair. She looks alive.

‘I'm divorcing Andreas.'

Jeez, she doesn't pull any punches. Straight to the point.

‘About bloody time, Ef!' Yahoo! I don't think I have ever hugged my sister so hard. ‘What made you finally come to your senses?' I've been hassling Effie about ending her sham of a marriage ever since the day she came clean to me about it.

‘Let go of me and I'll tell you.'

Okay, okay, I'm sitting, got my coffee in front of me and am ready to hear all the gory details now.

‘You know Andreas and his girlfriend are in Greece, right?'

Quick nod of the head. Of course I do.

‘He's decided he wants to stay there with her.'

Makes sense. Andreas was born in Greece and from what we know about his little slut, she's an off-the-boater as well.

‘And he wants to marry her.'

‘She's pregnant, isn't she?' She must be. ‘And all of her family is over there and they have no idea that he already has a wife and four kid's, right?' I don't need to be a psychic to figure this all out.

‘Yeah. And now he's begging for a speedy divorce.'

‘So you're going to drag it out as long as possible?' My sister is smarter than I gave her credit for. She'll drag it out long enough for his little girlfriend's family to beat the shit out of him for getting her pregnant and not marrying her. Effie will get our relatives in Greece to track down her family and let them know that the slime already has a wife and kids and that little home-wrecker knew all about it when she honed in on him.

‘No, he'll get his super fast divorce.'

What? That makes no sense at all. She's lost her bloody mind. Why the hell is she letting that slime off the hook? She should be stringing him up by the balls.

‘Before you go off your tree, Des, I've worked it all out.'

Yeah sure. This I've got to hear.

‘I'm keeping the house and the holiday house, and the savings are getting transferred into my name. I'm going to sell the business and all he gets from the whole lot is twenty-five grand.'

Ah, she's good. He's getting close to nothing.

‘He's desperate, Des. So I told him that if he wants this divorce, it's going to be by my rules. Otherwise I'll tie him up in court for years. He knows if he doesn't agree to everything his little bastard will be starting high school before he can marry that bitch.'

I don't think I've ever been prouder of my sister. I knew she could get her revenge – we are sisters after all. But this is even out of my league.

‘And he's agreed to it all?' Wow, this must really be hurting wog man where it counts the most. His wallet.

‘He's walking out on his kids. So I think I'm being more than generous with my offer.'

God. Poor Effie. More than ten years of marriage and it's come to this. This has got to be hell for her. And the kids? How are they going to feel knowing that their no good bum of a father walked out on them? It's not fair.

‘If he fights me, I'll wreck him, Des. Just like he's wrecked me for the last ten years.'

‘So what are you going to do?' She's got her whole life ahead of her. The kids will all be in school soon and she's selling the shop. She can't sit around the house watching daytime television for the rest of her life.

‘Well, I've thought about it a lot over the past few weeks … ' Seems that my sister has been doing a lot of thinking lately. ‘ … And I've figured it all out. I'm going to take the kids on a holiday after your wedding. Maybe go to Disney World. I've already got a buyer for the shop, so that'll all be over soon. Then I want to go back to uni and study business. I've run my own fish and chip shop for last few years and I've learned a lot from that, but I think it's time to do something that's a bit more meaningful, with better hours so I can spend more time with the kids.'

Wow. My sister has finally stood up and taken responsibility for her life. I guess this is the first opportunity she's really had to do it. There's just one small issue.

‘Have you told Mum about the divorce yet?'

‘Not yet.'

I didn't think so. I know my sister and I have grown up a lot over the last year, but neither of us have grown the required balls for confronting our mother.

‘I was wondering if you wanted to be around as backup when I tell her.'

‘You bet I'll be there. Hey, if she's busy stressing about this, she'll stay off my case about the wedding.'

Every dark cloud has a silver lining.

‘Bitch.'

I know Effie doesn't mean any harm by it. It's kind of ironic, though. I'm getting ready to marry the man of my dreams while Effie is finally getting rid of the man of her nightmares.

‘So when are you going to drop the bomb on her?' Kaboom. Hiroshima will look like a ripple in the ocean compared to the explosion we'll see when my mother hears that dreaded ‘D' word. Heaven forbid that divorce would enter her perfect family. The relatives and the villagers will never stop gossiping about it. For shame. We're plunging the knife into my mother's heart. I can't stop laughing. I can just visualise my mother. It's hysterical.

‘Stop laughing, Des! I'm going to come over and tell her tonight. And I need your support.'

‘Ef, I'll be there okay. It's the least I can do.'

‘You okay, Effie?'

Mum finally speaks! The silence has been broken. Not the way that I expected, but at least it's not deathly quiet anymore.

‘I'm okay, Mama. For the first time in ten years, I am okay. Or I will be.'

I actually believe her. Effie is going to be fine. For the longest time she believed that she was weak and didn't have the strength to stand up for herself and go after what she wanted. But look at her now. After ten years of a bullshit, paper-only marriage, she is walking away and starting all over again as a single mother with four young kids. I don't think I would have the strength to do what she's doing now. Holy cow! I think that for the first time in my life I am in awe of my sister. Am I actually experiencing admiration for Effie? Who would have thought I would live to see this day?

‘You make that bastard pay.' Was that Dad? Showing emotion? I don't think I have ever heard Dad swear. Not even when his beloved soccer team is losing or when one of his lemon trees has to be chopped down. This is so weird.

‘You make sure he get nothing. Bloody bastard come into our home, our lives, and he do this. I kill the bastard!'

I have never seen my dad this angry. It's a good thing Andreas is in Greece at the moment because I really don't think that anyone would be able to stop Dad if he got his hands around Randy Andy's neck. Dad looks like he is going to explode. He's usually so placid, so chilled. He usually doesn't really care about what is going on in our lives.

‘Dad, calm down. He is going to pay. He's losing everything – money, the kids, everything.'

Our father may be hearing Effie's words but I doubt they are sinking in because he's nowhere near calming down.

‘You know all this?'

Oh, God, Mum, please don't tell Dad that you knew what was going on and didn't tell him. Mum, please be smart and for once in your life just keep your mouth shut.

‘Tell me. How long this bastard make fool of us?'

‘Dad, no one knew until a short time ago. I didn't tell anyone what he was like.' Oh, God, this is going to get deep. Effie has finally gotten Dad to sit down and she's kneeling beside him, holding his hand. They're both crying. ‘I thought it was my fault, Dad. I didn't want to let you down. I didn't want you to think I was a failure.'

‘Silly girl. You my baby. I help you. You in trouble, I help you. I fix for you.'

‘I had to fix this on my own, Dad. I love you, but you couldn't fix this for me.' There comes a time in our parents' lives when they have to realise that they can't just fix everything for their kids. That there comes a time when we have to clean up our own messes and that they can't make everything better by feeding us. I think my parents are finally having that epiphany.

‘No good. Bastard. Cheater. Liar.' Where is Dad going? I don't think that he can handle much more. I think he has been overwhelmed enough and needs to seek some solace. I'll find him in the greenhouse or the garage later. In the meantime, I better stick around here and make sure Mum and Effie are okay. I think Dad needs to cool off a bit before I try to be the good daughter that I am.

‘Mum, are you going to say anything?'

Good question. Is Mum actually going to speak to Effie?

‘No good. Divorce no good. Is sin.'

Oh, hell, Mum's going to get all religious on us now. I think Dad's reaction was better. I know that marriage is supposed to be forever and that the church frowns upon divorce and all that, but I don't think it is written anywhere in the bible that a woman should stay with a lying cheat who knocks up young bimbos and moves overseas with them for all of eternity.

‘Ma, get off your high horse will you? You think Effie should stay with that bastard so that you can look good in front of all the wogs? Why do you want her to be miserable for the rest of her life just so you can look like a good mother?'

I can't help myself. ‘You've been telling me for months to leave Effie alone, that she needs our help. Well, Ma, she's here and now you're shafting her. Good one, Ma.' My mother never fails to live up to expectations. Just when you think she may actually surprise you, she turns right back into her wonderfully predictable self.

‘Shut up, Despina.'

Oh, yeah, telling me to shut up is really going to work.

‘Wedding should be forever. This no good. Andreas no good to do this to family. Babies need their father.'

Effie's in tears again. ‘Mum, their father is not going to be here. Don't you understand? Even if I don't divorce him, he won't be coming back. He's staying in Greece.'

Mum's shaking her head. I don't think it has all sunk in just yet. Even though she knew that Andreas was slime, I don't think divorce was ever an option in her mind. I think she simply thought that eventually he would get bored and come back. She must have thought that Effie would be a good patient Greek girl and welcome him back after he had his mid-life crisis.

‘I'm doing this to protect my kids. And I'm doing it for me. I have to do this so I can have a normal life for once. I'm in my thirties and for the first time I am doing what I want.'

I think that has finally made my mother snap to attention.

‘What you want? You crazy? You kids always do what you want and then come to me when things go bad.'

I think Mum has gone a tad crazy. Maybe I always did what I wanted but not Effie. She always did what was expected of her.

‘Mum, how can you say that?'

Oh, boy, the perfect daughter has finally blown her stack.

‘You think that marrying Andreas was what I really wanted? I told you that I didn't love him. I didn't even like him. But you wouldn't listen to me. You made me give logies and said that it would work out afterwards. Do you remember the morning of my wedding?'

Mum's shaking her head and I'm having a flashback.